The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

So I thought about this after a conversation in a journal with someone afraid of losing weight and the changes it will bring? I maintain that very little is actually different, and most of what HAS changed is within me (and completely by choice). Jo says there are LOTS of changes. So what do the rest of you think, and what's really changed since you lost the weight?

For me, my family/friends/job are the same. My basic life is the same. My interests are mostly the same. The people who loved me still love me. The people who didn't like me before probably still don't. I'm more interested in fitness (especially running), but that's completely my choice. I have an easier time buying clothes (although not much; now I have trouble finding stuff small enough). I'm less self-conscious (or am trying to be), especially about eating in public. Other than that, nothing much has changed for me and my life is pretty much the same as it was. I work, I see my friends, I date (at the moment, although I'm sure I'll go through a nice, long period of not dating once this one's over), I play with my dogs, I enjoy cooking and eating out, I love TV and books, etc. My basic personality is the same as before, and my relationships with my family and friends are the same as before.

Next?

[Karli]

Hi, Robin. I actually can't believe that more people haven't posted in here yet ! I am not officially in maintenance yet, but I have been thinking a lot about this subject, and I think it's great that you have brought it up !! It will obviously be different for everybody, and that's why I think it's such an interesting topic.

It's funny because, while I am still in the middle of it all in some ways, sometimes I can just feel everything in my life changing but I haven't enough perspective on it yet to really define exactly what those changes are. I do know that I will look back and see this time as a pivitol "moment" in my life. But, I am someone who believes that everything about life is connected, so it's difficult to say exactly what has brought about which change. It's all happening together it seems and often, lately, I feel like my life is in a giant tornado. Or more recently I blog about analogies to being adrift out at sea with what feels to me like huge waves and hurricanes to swim through -- but, this is the life that I have chosen and worked toward, and I think that's a very interesting and pertinent point.

I see my weightloss as a product of growth that has taken place before I started MF and as a product of growth that has taken place during my MF journey. I see my capacity to maintain my weightloss as a product of continual growth that will take place throughout the rest of my life.

If I had to try to define the changes, I could only use an analogy. I liken it to what physically happens as we actually lose the weight. When I was fatter, I still had all of my features that I do now, except there was extra and un-needed stuff that went right along with it all. With that extra stuff (the fat), my features were less defined and it was way harder for me (or anybody else) to truly appreciate them.

My life still had many of the elements that it does now, or at least many of the possible elements, but I sometimes felt much more paralyzed in how I dealt with it. And, I definitely didn't take as many risks career-wise; I was literally almost completely hidden, by choice, for a few years (and this is actually exactly when my major weight gain happened). Maybe I wasn't actually paralyzed and that's how I got here and eventually found a program that worked for me, but all the same, the features that makeup my essence are somehow more defined to me now (but I feel very much to be still in kindergarten when it comes to knowing what my life will entail -- but I think that I choose to be more excited about that now, versus paralyzed by fear).

I think that what I am seeing take shape outwardly is intimately connected to what is taking shape for me inwardly. There is just no way around that for me. As with many other people, there has been a need for MASSIVE healing in my life. My twenties were mostly about that need to heal and sorting through MANY, MANY things in that process. Talk about swampy waters ... LOL. Anyway, I just never felt sure that I was actually equipped enough to deal and cope with life and it's challenges. Kind of like an athlete who hasn't trained properly for a major event and has very little flexibility and stamina because of it. Now I am becoming more of the athlete I have always seen in myself but not known how to actually live. I am feeling more prepared for the rest of my life, and this just happens to be taking form outwardly, too.

When I played basketball (my favorite sport), there was a "ready" stance that we were trained to have. It involved some sort of activation or awareness of every muscle and strength that we had. It was inacted as a tool for us, as individuals, to be prepared for *any* offensive as well as defensive moves when dealing with the opposing team. It was a stance that enabled a person to call on a variety of movements such as breaking us instantly into a sprint, or stopping an opponent dead in his or her tracks. This is another analogy for me.

Spiritually, I feel like I am living in that stance a little more, and physically, I am just more capable and agile within it; the two seem to be getting more matched. My life feels vital, and I love it instead of fear it. And, while I say that, I fully expect to be somewhere completely different in 10 years time, and to have the strength that I am beginning to feel now, pale in comparison to what it will be then.

Funnily enough, though, I just feel more like me. And, I suspect that what I will feel and live in 10 years' time will just be a greater magnification of who I am already, and who I have truly always been. I think that's all that's really happening.


Cheers,
Karli

[Serendipity]

I stand by my statement that there have been lots of changes, but I never said that some of them weren't from within. When we change from within along with the physical change, we can't help but have changes in our lives. My life is completely different now than it was before because of these changes.

Here's a list of the most prominent positive changes:

1. Overall feeling of wellbeing.
2. Inferiority complex is completely gone.
3. Thoughts of my future are now positive thoughts.
4. Ability to do things physically.
5. I no longer let my weight stop me from getting up and getting things done.
6. Exercise is something I want to do instead of dread.
7. Energy has increased ten-fold.
8. My husband has more respect for me.
9. I no longer get upset and take it personally when I hear a fat joke.
10. The shopping experience is now enjoyable.
11. I am no longer preoccupied with searching out food to eat or think of the next chocolate I'll have or run down the street for a candybar.
12. Weightloss success has made me a very confident person....I feel like I could tackle anything.
13. My relationships are less stressed.
14. I take better care of myself and work on my appearance.
15. I require less sleep.
16. I am not out of breath all the time.
17. My knees are not sore.
18. It doesn't take three tries to get out of a chair.
19. When I meet someone new, I don't automatically wonder what they think of my body.
20. I don't feel like people are staring at me and thinking "what a fat slob"
21. When I eat in a restaurant, I don't feel like people are thinking "she doesn't need that"
22. My dad hasn't commented on my weight in months.
23. I now like going out to social gatherings. I don't fret over it and worry about what to wear to hide the fat.
24. My ankles no longer swell to elephant size each day.
25. I have a hard time being moody....no time for it.

Negative changes:
1. Temporary hair loss, but that's over.
2. Had to spend alot of money on new clothes....is that negative?
3. A bit of extra skin and a few more wrinkles.

That's all I can think of.....short list.

[Lauren]

Hmm, don't know why it took me so long to see this and read this and respond to this!

Jo, I love your list, most of those are the same for me - except for anything husband related, I don't have one of those, yet!

Robin, I can appreciate how the daily goings-on of your life may have remained the same, in many ways mine has too, but for me, I think EVERYTHING has changed!

There is not a single moment, activity, or thought that has not been affected/changed by my weight loss. From the second I wake up in the morning - 90 minutes earlier than I used to in order to go run/go to the gym - to the moment I go to sleep, my life is different. Everything I do I do with more gusto. Every activity is done with greater ease and decreased frustration/effort. Getting dressed in the morning is easy, as all my clothes look good. I don't have to worry about looking fat in my outfits, I know that I don't. While I've always been an optimist, now I really approach every activity and situation with a "can do" attitude, because, really, why not? What can't I do? I feel like I've climbed what, for me, is my greatest mountain - if I can do this, I can do anything!

You all may be thinking that I may be setting myself up for a hard fall if I start sliding down the mountain, but I am totally aware that maintenance is the real struggle, the real process. I get it. I work hard every day to stay vigilant to my healthy eating, and to remain keenly aware that I will only maintain this weight if I keep working the plan. I know that I could lose grasp of this at any moment, and that's why I stay so focused on the prize.

You all think the prize is losing the weight, huh? Nah. The prize is LIVING life. Yeah, I used to live well, but now I really LIVE. I take pleasure in the simple things. I walk everywhere, and I love it. While I've never been a fan of shopping, I am a BIG fan of walking into any store and within minutes coming out with a bag in hand. It's not "will it fit?," but rather, "which should I buy?" I love going to the movies and having lots of space in my seat, and not needing the seat next to me to be empty. I love going to the theater and not freaking if I don't have an aisle seat. I love that we just had a fire scare at my work, and it didn't terrify me that the elevators weren't working and I'd have to do the stairs. I love that my feet don't hurt. Ever. And I wear heels most days and walk to and from work in those heels, and my feet still don't hurt!! And, like Jo said, I don't have swollen ankles that need to be propped up at the end of every day. I love that when I was just in Aruba over the holidays that, aside from when I went running every morning, I didn't sweat from the heat. I NEVER just sweat because I am fat. Because I'm not. I love that I still love my MF meals, and that I take so much pleasure in my 2 Lean & Greens and my fruit and my dairy additions to my diet.

Oh, and let's not forget career. I've always been a ballbuster, career-driven and ambitious woman. And I've always been very successful. But now I'm more successful. Just got a second raise (and promotion) in this last year, I visit more clients, travel more often (by choice), and don't have to worry about a client's perception of me. In fact, that is a HUGE change - I am not nearly as self-absorbed anymore, thinking that everyone is judging me. Now they're not. Or, if they are, I am really not concerned. I am much more concerned with how to close a deal than whether or not they are focused on my weight, my red face, a trickle of sweat that seems to be working its way down my forehead...

Everything is better. Yes, dating is better, friendships are better, life is just better. So, while the standard activities may not have drastically changed, the level of enjoyment in each of these activities has skyrocketed.

And don't we all deserve to love life? Isn't that the point?

Well, I do. I used to joke about the old adage to treat your body like a temple, that I treated mine like a garbage pail. Well, I'm done. Aside from my continued addiction to diet soda (hey, we all need a vice!), I am treating my body with as much respect as possible. Because I'm worth it. We all are.

Everything has changed. And the change is all good.

Lauren

[bikipatra]

I'm posting here because I spent most of my life as a very thin person. I was terribly unhappy. I was a slut. An Ivy-League slut, but still a slut. I hated my body. I took my looks for granted. I felt entitled to just about everything. If and when I succeed in Medifast, it will be the first thing I have successfully completed in years. I think it will do wonders for my self-esteem, not because I look so much better, because I was always in such denial I thought I was pretty hot when drunk, but because I can succeed at something. That I can be an example of what to do right. That I can end the cycle of early death of alcoholism and diabetes in my family. That these are choices I will have made. I always though things happened to poor little Irene. Always a victim of circumstance, relying on the kindness of strangers. *Hence the Southern belle persona Jo loves to mock. I want to finish something and have self-esteem. We get self-esteem by commiting esteemable acts. I pay my bills now. I am trying to take care of my body. I have faith that if I want what you have and work for it, I can have it too. I finally have direction besides immediate gratification.

[Mike]

That's an awesome attitude Biki.
Hang in there and do what you are doing, and you too will be there.
I will get there eventually, I just have to deal with my issues as well, as we all do.

[bikipatra]

That's an awesome attitude Biki.
Hang in there and do what you are doing, and you too will be there.
I will get there eventually, I just have to deal with my issues as well, as we all do.

Thanks Mike! I think we can both get there!

[Nova]

It's a mix for me. Some things have changed drastically, others barely at all.

I still feel like the same person inside, for the most part. I still love to play video games, do crafts, watch a few fun tv shows, talk with friends. I'm the same person I was at work. Just get things done. I don't feel like that has changed at all.

I do feel like I've changed how I interact with people. When I talk to them, I'm aware of my body language. I can cross my legs and look lady-like (moreso, anyway). I'm not trying to hide my fat, and I don't worry when I meet new people that I'll leave a fat first impression. I like inspiring my friends to try harder on their weight loss. I like being able to shop in the 'normal' section of the store, although I've only bought one new pair of pants in the last 3 months. I'm stronger emotionally. It's easy for me to pass up the sweets in the office.

I have become much more interested (some might say obsessed) about fitness and nutrition. I'm more interested in living well and eating to be healthy instead of thin. I don't want to be model thin, but I do want to be fitness mag buff.

Overall, things are so much better. There are some negatives. Hair loss, like Robin mentioned, although it seems to be slowly getting better. Sometimes the constant 'how much have you lost?" and "don't get all anorexic" get tiring. PMS hit s me really hard every month now with massive mood swings, irritability and sadness. I don't like that at all. But I'll take it over being fat.

[Lizabette]

Truly I have been awed and inspired by every one of your posts, guys.
Much I could have said myself, but not as articulately.

I wish that everyone would read them...and if it doesn't inspire one to go the last mile to reach their goal of fitness and health...nothing could!
So I have nothing to add except to thank you all for taking the time, thought and caring to do it for all of us on this journey to read and heed, if we dare!

We do not have to be in the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" crowd.
Lizabette

[CGal67]

I stand by my statement that there have been lots of changes, but I never said that some of them weren't from within. When we change from within along with the physical change, we can't help but have changes in our lives. My life is completely different now than it was before because of these changes.

Here's a list of the most prominent positive changes:

1. Overall feeling of wellbeing.
2. Inferiority complex is completely gone.
3. Thoughts of my future are now positive thoughts.
4. Ability to do things physically.
5. I no longer let my weight stop me from getting up and getting things done.
6. Exercise is something I want to do instead of dread.
7. Energy has increased ten-fold.
8. My husband has more respect for me.
9. I no longer get upset and take it personally when I hear a fat joke.
10. The shopping experience is now enjoyable.
11. I am no longer preoccupied with searching out food to eat or think of the next chocolate I'll have or run down the street for a candybar.
12. Weightloss success has made me a very confident person....I feel like I could tackle anything.
13. My relationships are less stressed.
14. I take better care of myself and work on my appearance.
15. I require less sleep.
16. I am not out of breath all the time.
17. My knees are not sore.
18. It doesn't take three tries to get out of a chair.
19. When I meet someone new, I don't automatically wonder what they think of my body.
20. I don't feel like people are staring at me and thinking "what a fat slob"
21. When I eat in a restaurant, I don't feel like people are thinking "she doesn't need that"
22. My dad hasn't commented on my weight in months.
23. I now like going out to social gatherings. I don't fret over it and worry about what to wear to hide the fat.
24. My ankles no longer swell to elephant size each day.
25. I have a hard time being moody....no time for it.

Negative changes:
1. Temporary hair loss, but that's over.
2. Had to spend alot of money on new clothes....is that negative?
3. A bit of extra skin and a few more wrinkles.

That's all I can think of.....short list.

JO,

I read your list and loved it even if I don't share all the struggles you once had. I so relate though and have a list of my own changes...but I'll save that for a post in February!

Your list makes me appreciate all that MF has to offer...a light at the end of the tunnel.
C

[Serendipity]

Your list makes me appreciate all that MF has to offer...a light at the end of the tunnel.

For me it was one more chance at life. What I was doing before MF was existing. It was not living.

Seeing it through is so worth it!

[DogMa]

I still think part of the difference is how much people had to lose. Most of your changes weren't issues for me (and frankly, my knees give me more trouble NOW, because of the running). I still don't like parties and big social gatherings, but it's never been a weight issue for me. I was shy and uncomfortable in big groups ever since I was a child, and I still am. Other than that, my life really isn't that different. I was fairly active before, and I still am. I had good friendships and family relationships before, and I still do. I was respected at work before, and I still am.

But maybe it's that I had less to lose in the first place. I never had the problems (thankfully) that others have mentioned, of not fitting into chairs and airplane seats or getting breathless on one flight of stairs or being tired all the time. So the changes have been much less pronounced for me.

[Lauren]

Robin, I totally agree with you that the differences are likely dependent upon the amount of weight lost. The successes are no less noteworthy for those who have smaller amounts to lose, but they are likely different experiences. For those of us who had enormous amounts to lose, our whole lives are different, within our bodies and within the world. How we exist in the world has completely shifted.

And while I surprised myself by doing the forum at the start (since it's not really my "thing" to journal or do forums), it is awesome to connect with people who have shared in similar journeys - so there are people like you, who may not see monumental shifts in daily life, but still appreciate all the changes the weight loss has brought, and others like me or Jo or Nancy, who literally have redefined our lives.

There's something for everyone here, and I think that's what draws people in at the start.

Ciao,

Lauren

[DogMa]

You know, I'd like to change my answer just a little bit. Because lately I've realized that maybe I HAVE changed a little. I'm still the same basic person (and still just as shy and insecure as before), but I've done a few things I probably wouldn't have done if I hadn't lost the weight, like the indoor skydiving and planning my Iditarod trip (I think I would have done the Segway tour no matter what).

[bikipatra]

You know, I'd like to change my answer just a little bit. Because lately I've realized that maybe I HAVE changed a little. I'm still the same basic person (and still just as shy and insecure as before), but I've done a few things I probably wouldn't have done if I hadn't lost the weight, like the indoor skydiving and planning my Iditarod trip (I think I would have done the Segway tour no matter what).

Don't forget the tanktop victory and the ill-fated scary attempt at dating. You are taking risks!