Dear Jo ~
Hmmm…Normal? What’s that?
Who, me? Normal? Nope.
Good topic, Jo!
For a long time I thought I ate food just because it tasted good, because I had
uncontrollable cravings, ‘cause I was
hungry, etc.
Similar to what Lauren mentioned, after some time, I realized it was not so much about the food itself, it is about me, my head
stuff and I had to figure out the ‘why.’
During my weight loss phase, I truly sought to learn the reasons why I overate. I came up with some reasons such as learned behaviors and coping mechanisms and I learned that some of them were merely excuses to cover up some pretty ugly ‘me stuff’ - I learned that if I wanted to maintain a normal weight, I could never view food the way I used to – in some ways, I cut off my relationship with it and am learning to deal with the emotional reasons for overeating in different ways.
Walking off my stress (Lauren, you go, Girl! You
run, I walk and sashay!); talking about my fears and anxieties with others whose input I value, reading and attending seminars, and applying the very things we learned during the weight loss phase (virtually following the BeSlim Philosophy) which takes care of the physical needs of my body.
Oh, yeah, Tawanda – there is much in my head about not measuring up, the need to be perfect and right…the need to be in control, the stuff about me that drives me
cwazy also drove me to food. I couldn't undo some of the negatory crud from my past so I had to learn to not allow the past to become my present or to affect my present situtaion. I do my best to make my 'now' the best I can, to improve on my current reality. I also learned that if I hadn't experienced some of those cruddy things, I wouldn't be who I am at this point. We are a result of all those previous experiences.
I rather love the current YOU, Tawanda. You are a great person - very caring and attentive.
Keeping the refrigerator and car stocked with appropriate foods has become very natural for us and my desire for many of the foods I used to consume by the truckload has gone away. Yet, there are times. Jo that I just wanna eat stuff. And it is not necessarily the healthiest stuff either.
When I feel an 'eatage' episode coming on, I tell my husband or friend and we talk it out. That helps immensely and stops me from doing great foody damage.
I used to falsely think that there were ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods and that I was ‘good’ or ‘bad’, depending upon what and how much I ate. There is not a moral quality about food nor am I morally right if I choose romaine and celery over french fries.
I have learned that I can really have whatever I want; I just cannot eat as much of it as I used to and as frequently as I used to. In some ways, Lauren, I’m with you – I’d rather eat a big wad of veggies – a mega plateful of salad rather than a dablet of fettuccine.
Jo, I am a person with a food problem and I feel I will always be a person with a food problem; I am learning to manage my mind and my actions towards grub but I doubt that I shall ever be totally cured and truly ‘normal’ but then again, we can’t climb inside the brain of a person who has not experienced the weight challenges that we have faced.
I have friends that are of a healthy weight and they tell me that all through their college years/the 20’s/the 30’s/the 40’s, etc. all through their life, they make conscious choices about what and how much to eat, they just don’t talk about it but they think about it and then they do it.
Lauren, I would say at this point in my journey, I am not quite as pre-packed with food when I start out my day as you describe but I sure go overboard with packing clothes for an overnight or two-day trip! I have replaced food obsession with other obsessions that are not health detrimental...
For some of us, we have to find another goal – far beyond our weight loss number goal – a life goal and work at it with all the power and passion we used to get us to our weight goal.
I so admire you; you are people of strength, wisdom, intellect and you bring me great joy. Continue to work through this, ruminate through the intellect and share what you learn with others of us here - we all gain insight and grow from one another. Keep the flabbies away by talking and thinking it out!