The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[aphrael]

I'm back on the plan after a several month break, happily I didn't gain all the weight back.

Now my office mates all know I was doing this before and how well it was working of me. So now that I am starteding up again I would think it would be a simple thing to understand that I have my food and my plan. But I have been bombarded with luncheons, happy hours and weekend parties. I try to turn them down saying I don't have a baby sitter for the munchkin, I have other things I need to do, and still they push and push. I remind them I can't eat their new found chili recipie and drink beer all after noon, or go out for cocktails. I can pull off the luncheon I cheeked out the menu and they have a nice grilled chicken salad I can get without cheese. But the drinking... I offered to go sit for a short while and sip a diet soda with them but they are like oh whatever you can have one or two drinks. I try and comprimise but they just push and push. If it was just friends I could easly avoid the situation by just not answering the phone if I had to, but I have to sit in the same office with these people. Also they are trying to turn happy hour into a buisness meeting type thing by inviting the customers along so we can "talk shop" in a casual enviorment.

Sorry for rambling, I just want so bad to get healthy and do this for myself and family that I get frustraited by other people that don't see the importantce of sticking with this 100% They think you can just slip off once or twice a week and get right back on track without doing any harm to the plan. ah well, another day, another shake, and some more fat cells gone. Maybe once they start seeing results again they will back off and be more encuraging.

Thanks for listening, I would be lost some days without this board.

[DJ]

Don't cave to their requests. I know what you mean, I just started Tuesday (or re-started briefly did this before the holidays). It's hard enough without peer pressure. A kind "no thank you, I have plans" might do or you could go and offer to be the designated driver. Maybe see if they are interested in doing other activities that don't involve food and drinking such as walking, going bowling, etc. I face the same issue but more so with my family. All of the get togethers revolve around food, and not healthy food. It's snacks, sweets, wine, etc. I can avoid it or go with my own food or offer other options like a movie or something. Our society is so dominated by food. Anyway, good luck to you.
dj

[Lauren]

Hey, Aphrael-

I have found that if you are firm from the beginning, not showing any weakness, then they stop pushing. Kind of like the kids in grade school who pick on you because they like the reaction. From the minute I started the diet I told anyone who asked to go out to eat or drink or eat at the office or whatever, no thank you, I have my meal. They ask why, I told them that I have an exact plan, and the only deviation takes place one meal a day, and that is very planned as well. One of my closest friends instantly started with a "but can't you just have this instead?" I said no, that's not how it works, that the diet only works if followed to the letter.

I put it out there very firmly and quickly and loudly (I am not shy, I like to have people know I am dieting, I feel more accountable, and like the support), and they stopped pushing.

Let me say, I've never had a drinking problem, but certainly would have wine with dinner with friends/clients, and out for drinks on the weekends. The revelation that I have not had a single sip of alcohol in 8 weeks just totally cracks me up! When I tell people "I don't drink," it sounds funny to me! I quit smoking nearly 9 months ago, so now I joke with people that "I don't drink, smoke, or eat, so I may not be fun right now, but I sure as heck will look great!"

All about the silver lining!

[Nancy]

aphrael ~

Man, oh, man!

Here is where we need Guido to come into your office space (Lauren, you sound like Guidoette! and I admire that trait in you!).

aphrael, if we are to be successful at not only losing weight but managing it for the rest of our lives, we must take control of what we eat, what we drink and sometimes, we must put on the knee-length boots, don the leather safari hat, grab the whip and crack it to keep the wild beasts away.

It's a jungle out there!

If you just had triple heart by-pass surgery and said "no, thanks, Folks" as the prime rib, baked potato smothered in butter, sour cream and bacon was offered or if were a Type 1 diabetic and said, "Nope, I'd prefer a diet croak over the cheesecake, thank you very much," people would most likely not press you further to imbibe, right?

I dont know WHY people must be so pushy, be so downright rude-a-rama when it comes to facing a dieter. We can analyze this 'til the ice cream melts but the ugly truth is this: It IS a jungle out there! It is NOT easy but it is NOT impossible to escape their mean behavior.

Lauren is right: tell them you are totally serious about this.

It is more than an issue of vanity. It is a HEALTH issue.

When I first began my weight loss trek I faced all those same pressures and more - because I had been dieting and failing so many times, I was like the little boy who cried "Wolf!" They didn't believe me, heck! I didn't believe in myself!

Take a stance.

Announce that you will go IF they do NOT ask you to join in their foody behavior.

Often people feel uncomfortable because they know deep down in their heart of hearts they need to lose weight, too.

85% of the population is overweight.

If they truly want your company, then tell 'em to lay off - they are not your mother!

They are NOT the boss of you!

I told food-pushers that I was on a medically supervised program to get my health turned around. I sort of tapped at my chest when I said it and yes, that chest tappage implied it was my heart that needed turning around – and it was…my heart was broken over my fatness and I was broken in spirit and in deep despair.

[Jan]

Hi Aphrael,
Well our own special Nancy came to the rescue as she always does. Plus, she is exactly right as usual I too always tell people to emphasize that this is a medical program tested at Johns Hopkins. You are doing it because of health issues. People generally will not argue with Dr.'s orders or if they do you can just looked at them with a very very puzzled look and say "What did you just say???" They gernerally get the message. It is very maddening to me that people do this to us. They certainly wouldn't suggest another kind of blood pressure pill or that you just skip it for a day or even worse take two. I think the majority don't want to admit the health affects of the extra pounds. They think it is just a matter of "lookin' good" (we all like too of course ) and simply ignore or deny the other ramifications of the pounds. Many probably don't even understand that fat is not just cotton like stuff stuck on us. And it is not even all the same kind of fat (that's why belly fat is so dangerous -- extra white blood cells) As people become more and more educated hopefully we will not have such a hard time. Plus, I think sometimes it is the other person's self will that gets in the way. They want you to come, are ignoring what you say and in their mind are trying to figure out a way to get you there. "wouldn't this work??" In time they will determine that you are determined.
Stay strong and review your goals and reasons for the weight loss often. This will help you to stay on track. Keep us posted.
jan

[sidrah]

You seem really bright and really strong. You will do great and I bet some people will change their tunes rather quickly!

[DogMa]

Some of those situations sound tough. But as for drinking, is it really necessary to even say anything? When I'm invited out for drinks (after work or something), if I want to go, I just go and quietly order a Diet Coke. I did that before Medifast most of the time, too, because I never drank much and I almost always had to drive home. Most people don't even notice what I am or am not drinking, and if they do, I just smile and dismiss it, and they generally let it go.

I don't need to justify my drinking habits, and neither do you.

[Susynne]

I agree with Dogma, why even say what you're going to drink? Just do what you want.

I rarely drink, and if in a crowd that might encourage I would just quietly go to the bar and order seltzer with lemon slice or other 'drink' looking combination. Who will notice? If you get your request to the waitress you can always just get 'another'.

I hate people who don't understand, so why ask them to? My business is my business. If I order a salad who is to say I don't prefer a salad? When you start to lose and someone comments then you can tell them what you've been up to, since it already is noticable people tend to push less, I think they respect what you are doing when they see that you are really doing it.

[Nancy]

Susynne ~

I totally agree with you! This is right-on!

I think they respect what you are doing when they see that you are really doing it.

[big ron]

Aphrael,
First off welcome back. You are here why?? To please them??? For them to like you?? I think not. I think that you are here for the reasons allot of us are here, health, feel better, look better etc. You didnt ask them to give you permission to do this dont let them be in control now. You deserve to do what you feel like doing and I would not even waste energy explaining it to them. If they push you try the following responses starting from least sarcastic)

Thanks but Ill have my drink.
I am having this shake would you like one?

I really appreciate the support I couldnt do it without you.(said as if you really mean it)

I have learned that people dont understand and sometimes nothing can change it. I have some friends who drink allot and I still meet with them and just drink water or diet soda. I have said to some that I cant drink right now because of a doctors program.

Ultimately I dont ask anyone for permission and if they dont like it or support me I waste no time on them.

We are here for you!!!!! You are awsome for taking this step

Ron

[Eander5696]

I just went thru the same thing as I made my chili.

I added lots of chili powder as I like it spicy :-)

I have a coworker who is totally supportive and has commended me on taking control, and another one who is still like ..."Cmon, one time out to lunch won't hurt! " Its each of these "One more times" that got me where I am. 200 lbs on a 5 foot tall body.

It infuriates me.

All I can say is...those people are dream smashers.

don't let em them smash the one thing that stares you in the face everytime you look in the mirror, sit down to eat, go to the bathroom, get dressed or any other million times you are reminded of your wish to be healthy. For me, its pretty much all day long every day.

best of luck....

[Nancy]

Eander5696 ~

Hey, that's a good name for them but do you know what?

You are a a dream-believer and a dream builder!

And your chili with extra spice added will help you to achieve your dreamy body and dream-filled happy healthiness!

Happy to have you aboard and we are gonna soar now!

Ready for lift off?

[Jan]

Wow I like that name toooo.!! Dream Smashers -- yup that's exactly what they are. Plus look how good we are all becoming at knowing exactly what to do. We are getting stronger and stronger and each time one of those "smasher' characters comes around we become more and more determined. My goodness they are becoming motivational
jan