The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[shineface]

Hi All---

I've been reading and lurking --- you guys are such an inspiration to me - the successful days - the slips - the positive attitudes - the get up and do it again-- thank God you're still here.

I finally decided to come out of the shadows and talk - always helps. OK now to cleanse my soul. I was maintining roughly since the end of May - up 8 down 8 up 8 down 8 ---- on and on. Somewhere I started to lose it completely ---somewhere by the end of Sept I think -- started my first quasi-relationship with a man (just can't do it) since my husband died... my mother was admitted to the hospital and she had to have half of her intestines/colon removed - never left her for 6 days except to grab a couple hours sleep during the day - stayed all night because I kept catching nurses making mistakes- would've been glad to leave but it scared me.... started eating comfort and junk voraciously (word?)--- you get it --- well my 8 pounds up is now 27 pounds up and I feel like crap... Mom is doing much better by the way - recovering and does not have a "bag"... me, I need to come out of the closet and get a grip --- today I weighed in at 247 - this foodie crap is insideous - I had a MF day yesterday and so far today - the thought of going into T-day without some kind of awareness scared the heck out of me!!!! I know me by Christmas I could gain back the entire 75 pounds I lost instead of the 27 I have already gained. Ipanic- I break out in sweats - I've read a few of your "lost control" entries and I know you all know how I've been feeling. BUT I also know I had the strength to put down the food once and I never felt better than when I was being faithful to my MF plan---------- I need it again... I want that feeling again - new clothes still fit but let's face it even if no one else is noticing it right now I KNOW - they're tight, I'm tired and feel bloated and as good as I felt about Maintenance - I now know I am always one bite away from the insanity! I know because I am here again - I've been insanely eating all the comfort junk I love - but there is no comfort - never has been ---
I can't go back to my all time high of 319 - I can't - but I know I can't do this alone - I need all of you --- as I stepped away from this forum I stepped away from all of you who helped me succeed and STAY HONEST. I don't feel very honest right now - I've let me down once again!!! But I almost have 2 days into getting back on track - I am really hurting and I want to choose LIFE - not suicide - which is what eating like a maniac is sure to bring me to... slow death by the mouthful.

Happy Thanksgiving guys and as always, thanks for listening.

WE WILL DO THIS TOGETHER!!!

Pam

[shineface]

Sorry--- forgot to get really honest and change my profile numbers --- I just did.

Unca Tim - I believe I need to go back to the 40 pound club.

Thank You.

WE WILL DO THIS TOGETHER!!!

Pam

[explorthis]

PAAAAAAAM!!! I missed you. I am so glad you’re back! I am so glad to read your Mom is doing ok. Don’t sweat the 40# club. You know this works. You have done it. Just like your advice to JanTx, shake, and drink water, POST-POST!! Gosh, I am glad your back!!!

-Mike

[RavenKat]

Hey Lady!

Welcome back! Sorry about the rough time in your personal life. Sticking to plan can be hard enough without all the extra stuff going on. You're a strong woman.

Dietwise, I understand where you are - I'm about there myself. I'm doing the old 5 pounds up, five pounds down dance. I realized that SHAKES ONLY is the way for me. Even supps that are on plan like oatmeal (YUM!) have an undesirable affect on me: too much like food.
I placed an order for Medifast70 shakes (more protein) and will be doing that from now on.

Together we can get a grip on this thang!

Kat