The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[fedup]

Welcome Back Aboard! As Camille said, you are an inspiration to so many of us on this journey. Never underestimate your hard work and successes... and they're still happening! We all fall down,... it takes a strong person to get back up, dust themselves off, "and start all over again..." (Isn't that a song or something... probably from one of those cheesy yet strangely addictive Disney movies I watch so much--[since adult tv land is in the distant past in my house!])

[DutchChoc]

Fedup, rejoice in that as it means you're "still young", lol! Optimism is a very good thing. It's basically what keeps us getting up in the mornings, having renewals and new opportunities. Take care! Thanks for the welcome back.

[SusannaRosannaDanna]

This is what I miss when I don't visit the board for a day or two?

You know that inside that plastic frosting tub is MISERY in more ways than words can describe!

I'm glad you are working your way back--you haven't done that much damage yet. If you are like me, it makes you angrier that you can't MENTALLY handle it as opposed to physical cravings.

I hate to say that I think it's something most of us will always struggle with, and we are blessed to have found a means that forgives us our transgressions.

You'll get back and try again, and again, if need be. You'll try until it "takes" and we'll all be here cheering!

Hugs

Susanna

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Susannah..... yes, I've had most of a week in Troublesville now except, basically, for that one "good" day. The size 5 pink pants I thought I'd wear today didn't fit like they did when I bought them -- or, should I say, just a week ago.... signs that more than short-term damage has occurred.

I went down to 133.5 immediately after the doing the "good" day. I assume I shouldn't have found that out because the same day I did, I went off track again.

So -- my trouble hasn't ended yet. Thanks for replying, anyway!! Yahoo for the 60 pound club - which is only fair because you're doing the right things.

[Nancy]

Dear Dutch ~

No replays of those negatory days - we're deleting them and only looking at those positive 100 days when you successfuly shook your way through your days!

We KNOW you have it in you to stop the visit in Troublesville and we know you can get with the program.

Are you drinking your water?

Are you exercising?

Having your meals every three hours?

We are confident you can do it!

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Nancy. I woke up today rarin' to fight for success once again. A gorgeous sunny day here has lightened my mood.

I'm going to get all of the Martha Stewart mags about food out of my bookcase and move in the various fitness magazines instead.

I'm not going shopping alone.

I'm going to focus on this as my primary "business" because I have no larger problem/issue right now.

Re water, I will need to do that. In fact, I hope it helps move the bloat out of my tummy because that is a trigger for me. I assume it will.

Re exercise, yes, I have been duly faithful to that, even overly so, with two 500 cal workouts on all but one or two of the days, and always at least one. That has helped keep some of the calorie visitors occupied.

Re meals, "meals" has generally deteriorated as a concept, giving way to grazing. Or, at least partially, at the times I had full access to food. I will try to get on track starting now, albeit I have to admit that I'm not sure which way might work -- just MF? MF + salad? ?? That worries me, frankly. It's hard to tell which approach is most likely to succeed. Or, what is the goal, exactly? Just to avoid bingeing, foremost? I'd have to say that's my main issue. "Losing the weight" is really secondary because I'm certainly not "fat" -- but will be getting fattER if the overeating doesn't stop as in YESTERDAY.

At the end of the one good day I had, I had my first choc mint bar and I felt pretty smug that I had just one and stopped and did not start overeating other things -- well, it was after my evening gym session and I told myself that maybe I could start doing that every night. Well, I COULD've -- but the next day I was off track again. So not it's hard for me to tell what I can do other than just shakes!!

Ah -- things could still be much worse. It's my job to make sure that they don't get that way. I can do this, as in the old WW addage that "I've come too far to take orders from a cookie".

Hope we all have good days today. And beyond. Take care, everyone.

[gr8views]

You will have a good day today.

Just follow LW's advice... Know that we are all supporting you. It's hard not to obsess about food sometimes. You are calling this MF program your job right now. That's one way of looking at it.

Find something else to occupy your time. Go Christmas/holiday shopping. Spend some time on a hobby. Write down all the 'stuff' you are feeling, then burn it!

I'm sure everyone's had days that are tough. You've had several, but you keep coming back. That takes discipline and courage. Be proud that you haven't given up. I'm impressed.

Hope your day goes well today. We're here, waiting to support you!

Diane

[Nancy]

Yup, your health is Job #1
Let's do it today - all meals consumed at the table - NO standing in front of the refer or at the kitchen counter.

Keep a tally sheet of your water consumption.

Set a timer to remind you of meal time - no meal skipping and nothing but bouillon or tea/water in between meal times.

You can do it because you are Dutch Chocolate, the Tenacious One!
You can do it BECAUSE YOU CAN!

[BerkshireGrl]

DC,

I hope you had a good day today... and will continue fighting the food demons. I understand your plight very much, and know that you CAN get back on track. You are developing actions that will guide you back to the straight and narrow, like getting rid of the food magazines, going shopping with someone rather than alone, water drinking, etc.

Re meals, "meals" has generally deteriorated as a concept, giving way to grazing. Or, at least partially, at the times I had full access to food. I will try to get on track starting now, albeit I have to admit that I'm not sure which way might work -- just MF? MF + salad? ?? That worries me, frankly. It's hard to tell which approach is most likely to succeed. Or, what is the goal, exactly? Just to avoid bingeing, foremost?

I noticed in a few of your posts that you externalize the binge eating as outside yourself, like "it happened" or in the above, a concept has deteriorated. I've done this too. I think this is dangerous because it puts what WE are doing outside ourselves, making us helpless, and this gives us this wily permission to just relax and let it happen to us... after all, it's outside us. Really though, we make the clear choice and chose to overeat. And we can choose not to. How we word our thoughts in our mind is a very powerful thing... this might sound too "out there" but I've noticed that if I start studying exactly what is running through my head pre-binge, and get a handle on the self-destructive talk then, I can head off a bad day. I try to think of my body as an unruly teenager who wants wants wants, but just has to given what is best for them regardless, ignoring the fits and the pouting and the manipulation.... treating it with compassion... teaching it that it really doesn't want the junk since deep down, it craves health.

Usually my binge talk goes like this: "I deserve it because I'm under huge stress", "I've been treated badly so I deserve consolation", "This will make me feel better", "I'm going to revert to old habits because they comfort me." The way I have fought this is to stress to my old Pavlovian brain that the comfort is fleeting, but the after-effects are painful, and the emotional rollercoaster after a binge is NOT WORTH IT. Food is fuel... yes, sometimes too it is an incredibly wonderful tasting and even sensual experience... but not love, not caring, not a cure for pain. It can be used as a short-term drug to numb feelings or fill a void, but at a price to your body and mind.

We need to find where that binge drive is coming from, and comfort that with safe methods, not feed it with more chocolate or McDonald's.

Hope you had a good night... and know that we are pulling for you and thinking about you.

[LongWay2go]

Wow, Sarah, what a powerful post that is! It's so true too, we DO tend to externalize our actions instead of taking responsibility for them. Pardon the pun, but that is certainly food for thought! Excellent post - thanks for making me think this morning and bringing this fight back where it should be!

~Gerald

[fedup]

Hang in there Dutch! It's great that you've kept up your exercise routine. I know that's one thing I need to start adding more of. At first I used the fact that we weren't suppposed to do too much for the firstt 3 weeks as an "out", but since then I have been doing some, but definitely need to do more!

You'll pull yourself out of this... I KNOW you can. Look at how much inner strength and drive you've already shown?! Must be something in the air, was it a full moon this past week? Seems like a lot of us have been struggling. I know this past week was a bummer for me, and even though I managed to stay true to the program, I haven't seen much movement on that old scale. Tomorrow's official weigh in for me, so we'll see. I'll just have to hope that those old nasty vibes from last week are outta here now, clearing the way (weigh? ) for a GREAT new week for all of us now.

[BerkshireGrl]

Dutch,

How you doing out there? How was your weekend?

Hope you're ok!

[Nancy]

Yeah, how ARE you? We all wanna know!

The sun's up, today is a new day and it is perfect for a new beginning

Let's shake and roll!

[DutchChoc]

Good morning! I'm home today. I realize now that I've been absent from all of this help and effort pointed in my direction and it makes me a bit sad -- yeah, well, I'm PMS-ing, too.

As you might judge, I've had a disappointing show at the MF races over the past 14 days. As I sit here, I can feel belly flab layered upon my waistband that wasn't there. My whole demeanor has changed and I'm now definitely on a defensive, passive-aggressive downer. I'm picking fights based upon my new insecurities; I'm indeed behaving like a teenager who wants some order but also rebels against anyone/anything that's not going like he/she wants it to go. So, yes, lots of this is externalized with plenty going on internally -- no peace of mind, etc.

As SO is wont to do, he -- as I perceive it -- adds to the annoyance by denying any difference has occurred and still refers to me as emaciated -- duh -- wake up, that person is not here. Apparently he can't see it and that makes me annoyed. It also gives me "permission" in some manner -- of course I should take responsibility as I already said he's an unreliable narrator of this story -- to keep eating. Regardless of whether or not he can see it, I know that it's real. I don't want to give the impression that I think he's at the center of my problem. I really do know that all of this is "my baby".

I'm going to try once again to get through just one of many days to come. I had MF oatmeal and a choc mint bar, already. The clock wasn't a partner in the decision I made to have the choc mint bar just an hour into my 3-hr wait.... so I'm off to a very wobbly start. And before I had the choc mint bar, I weakened my attitude by spending half an hour or so clipping coupons -- now, wouldn't that be a dumb thing to do on a get-it-together-day? Do I think I need to be reminded about frostings and all that, or purchase them by 12/31/04?

Oh, this is such a thing for me right now. A different problem would almost be welcome.

Thanks for the confidence in my oh-to-be-wiser potential. I'll come back here, won't I, before I make my big mis-step for the day? All I really need is a start and I have no impending conflicts for today less the ones I might make for myself.

Onward towards the remaining shakes of the day, then, and the water. Maybe committing to the Sunday weigh-in coming up will help, so I will do that here and now.

[fedup]

Yes Dutch- keep coming back here as often as needed to help! I know I sure do! (Ii should watch how much I log in at work or I'll get fired! ) You can do it!, don't give up!