The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[CarmenM]

Hello everyone...

Today hasn't really been a good medifast day. I just found out yesterday that a good friend of mine had committed suicide.... I just don't understand why she would do something like that, she was so young, only 9 years older then me, she had just turned 28. Last night when they had given me the bad news.. All i could do was cry and look blankly into space.. The last thing on my mind was to keep doing good on my diet.. I don't know why but in the back of my mind all i wanted to do was grab something and eat and break the diet.. Instead i just drank some water which helped after all the crying i had done. Although i didn't cheat yesterday, today is a different story... On top of all that we have family that just arrived yesterday on vacation from Arkansas (nice timing huh?) and well.. you know how it is when the family is over, they are always making fancy dinners and stuff so I’m there stuck in between all that and i just felt like i didn't care at the time if i broke the diet or not, so i did. I didn't go crazy or anything but i did cheat and i have not had any medifast products today.

ANOTHER thing that happened was that when my dad took me to pick up my medifast products (I can't drive because i am visually impaired) we found out that the clinic was closed and that it was going to be closed till Jan 2nd! The thing is that we go every other week to get a two week supply of products and last week (which was one of the weeks we didn't go) they posted a sign saying that the clinic would be closed and we had no idea.. So now i am also running out of products until Tuesday which is when the clinic opens. I only have for two more days… and gosh I just don’t know what to do for the next couple of days that I don’t have products and I really don’t want to gain any weight!

Gosh it just really seems like everything seems to be trying to prevent me from doing well on Medifast… I just feel so devastated and I just wish this feeling would go away soon!!

The only thing that has brought me a little happiness is all the comments that I have been getting from everyone about how much weight I have lost and what a big difference I have made.. Although it really makes me happy to hear it.. All I have been able to manage is a tiny smile and a very low thank you…. Another thing that makes me happy is that by seeing my progress on Medifast, my aunt who is visiting us from Arkansas wants to put my 16 year old cousin on Medifast (he weighs about 300lbs) and what’s great about it is that he is also willing to make a change in his life!

I’m really very sorry for bringing my problems to the forum, I know it really might not have much to do with Medifast.. But again, I just felt that I had to unload.. Thanks for reading…..

[BerkshireGrl]

Dear Carmen,

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That is terrible.

There is no explaining it sometimes. I've had family and friends who have taken their lives, and it seemed to many there that their lives were not nearly so bad that giving up was the answer. Especially when the person was close to you, it can be so unfathomable. All I can say is pray for them if you are able, because they were in a very dark place and very sick. Sometimes, even though you can be close to someone, they do not share their most heavy secrets out of shame or fear, when doing so may well have saved them.

You are going through some hard times, to be sure, so I surely would not think it unusual to go off the plan. But you are being strong too! You have not given in to all food temptations.... so you are doing very well! And you are even setting an example of health for others

About missing a couple days on Medifast, my advice would be: eat low-fat, low-carb. Skim milk can sub in for shakes too. Stay away from bread, pasta, rice, cake, candy, pie, all that family gathering stuff I'm sure you are looking at... I think if you eat reasonably low-cal, Lean & Green extended version, getting back on Medifast will be pretty smooth.

Good luck! We're thinking about you!

p.s. Please don't apologize for coming on here and sharing your struggles! "Unloading" can keep us all on the straight and narrow, ya know?

[Jan]

Oh that really was a tragedy!!
Suicide is known as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Many times individuals don't really think their actions through. (Others however plan) Remember if someone is determined to take their own life there is not much one can do. I am sooo sorry your friend make this decision. We can't really fully understand anothers pain.
Now to the urge to eat. I think we all fall back into old habits and thought patterns. We treat ourselves with food and look to food to make things better. ( Of course it doesn't but we have to try it a few times to make certain) You are doing quite well. You have been able to monitor your eating rather than going on an eating binge!! The suggestion of skim milk as a meal replacement is just what I would suggest.
Take care
jan

[Nancy]

Carmen ~

Oh, Hunny! I wish we could put our arms around you and just hug you and hold you close for a while. There really are no words to say that will undo what has been done. Your friend's parents and family must be totally wiped out over this, too.

We have known others who have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide – like you, they were caught off-guard and it is hard to find out that their friend/child felt so alone, so sad or hopeless that they did not tell others about their hopelessness. You have done the right thing to share your heart with us. We cannot take away your pain, Carmen but it does help to talk about our feelings.

I am happy to hear that your weight loss success is rubbing off on others – see? What an excellent influence you are – you are helping another young person make some healthy changes NOW that will help him to establish good habits that will last a lifetime – you will enable him to have better heart health and perhaps prevent skanky disease. See, Darlin’ you are doing good things!

Since you may be out of Medigrub very soon, continue to eat every three hours and drink your water.

Thanks, Berk for telling her about the glass of low fat milk as a replacement for a shake. Eat the veggies on your approved list, you could have a hard boiled egg.

Take care of YOU!

[Gwenski]

Carmen-

Hoping that this untimely reply of mine finds you with some new "Medigrub"and that you have survived all this LIFE and are doing as okay as you can. Time has a funny way of marching on regardless of where our heads and hearts are -- it is SO rude and unfair!!!

There is nothing worse than being blindsided by the chaotic world out there. Just when you think you start to figure stuff out and get comfortable, there is a dsudden detour up ahead, a mountain to climb, some obstacle to pass or a nasty wrench thrown in your plans. The navigational skills and strength used to get through the toughest times is what helps up to learn and grow.

The loss of your friend is awful and it sucks that there is no way to reach and hug you but there is a HUGE mental hug on its way. Hoping that by reaching out to the forum you were able to cope with the old nasty fall back of food. If you did, don't worry cause from reading your past posts, you will be back in the saddle in no time.

This time of the year can really test a person physically and mentally - forgive your friend and pray that she has found whatever it was that she was unable to find here on earth.

We KNOW that YOU ARE TOTALLY FABULOUS and whenever you need to be reminded of that please log on here.

Take care and peace be with you!

[dlr2424]

Time has a funny way of marching on regardless of where our heads and hearts are -- it is SO rude and unfair!!!

There is nothing worse than being blindsided by the chaotic world out there. Just when you think you start to figure stuff out and get comfortable, there is a dsudden detour up ahead, a mountain to climb, some obstacle to pass or a nasty wrench thrown in your plans. The navigational skills and strength used to get through the toughest times is what helps up to learn and grow.


This time of the year can really test a person physically and mentally - forgive your friend and pray that she has found whatever it was that she was unable to find here on earth.

Gwenski.........thank you for sharing those words of wisdom........it really touched me and made me think how true it is..........time does still march on regardless of ones pain.....and usually when we least expect it obstacles can be thrown our way.........

Carmen......my prayers for your strength to deal with this pain.......and for your friend that she is in a better place

Donna....dlr2424

[CarmenM]

Wow.. I’d really like to thank all of you for taking the time to reply to my post... i really do appreciate it and all your kind words really do help...

It's been a little more then a week now and gosh has it been a hard one. I haven't been able to stay fully compliant to the diet. Wow did i get out on Wednesday. It was rite after the funeral.. After crying so much i had gone to lay down in bed and i thought i would surely fall asleep... I was very wrong; instead i went downstairs and ate a bunch of fudge brownies that my sister had brought over during the holidays. The next day i got all the brownies that were left over and i took them to school and gave them to a friend so i wouldn't have that temptation again.

I really don't know what's wrong with me; I’ve been really tired all week, constantly taking naps. I haven’t been able to sleep all night. I go to sleep around 12 and I always wake up at 3a.m. Then when I get home from school like around 12 or 1 I sleep till like 5 or 6. I was wondering if sleeping so much affects the diet, I mean I still get my meals in but does so much inactivity harm my weight loss?. I have also been cheating a couple of times on the diet, not to the extreme but cheating none the less. The good thing is that Thursday, Friday and Today (Saturday) I have been doing well.. I just hope that I can keep it this way, I really think I can…. What makes me really happy is that i have 3 more pounds to go before i reath the 50lbs club... so lets see what happens...

Well I’ll stop rambling on.. Anyway… I just really wanted to thank you all so much for your loving words..

[Susynne]

Carmen, I really really feel for you. I shed a few tears reading your posts, now don't feel bad about that-
Reason is, you sound like me. Yes, my situation is much differant, but the symptoms are all the same. See your doctor, describe what you're going through. I'm no Doctor - and by no means take this advice for anything other than my opinion- but your sleeping etc... all sound like me right before they decided I was clinically depressed. The good news is, if thats part of whats going on, than there are ways to address it. But like I said, I'm no doctor, and if it weren't for the sound of my own experience in the words of your post I would never presume to offer such advice. Take it for what it's worth.

This forum, talking even if through typing, is a great resource. I'm new, but I read a little when ever I get a chance, and the power of positive thinking and past experience is enough to get me to remember that anything is possible, I hope you'll remember that too.

You will get through this, and if I can help in any way, let me know.

[Nancy]

Precious Carmen ~

You have been through so much emotional turmoil. Much more than the average person deals with. Death is never easy to contend with, even if the person is elderly and has been ill for a long while. The death of your friend was very shocking in every way and it took her family and friends by surprise and left you all with questions. Most are probably wondering why she chose to end her life and are trying to analyze their last contacts with her to determine if there were warning signs that were unheeded.

It will take time to work through this and most likely, her death will always leave an empty place.

One of my classmates took her life and after all these years, I still think of her and wonder what she would be like had she lived, would she have become a famous singer or actress, would she have taught school or married or... Her death devastated her parents and they struggled for many years after her death and as time went by, with the help of counseling, they were able to move on with their lives. They will always love their daughter and the joy she brought to them.

I’m sure your body would like to sleep for a week if your mind could turn off and let your body just relax.

If you had relatively good energy levels and regular sleep habits until the holiday rush began and the emotional upheaval with your friend’s death, I suspect it is related to both.

Also when we are program-complaint, our body utilizes our stored energy reserves (ketones converted from burning the flab) and provides fairly consistent daily power and endurance but those little nibbles here and there can throw us out of balance and then the body must vacillate between using the ready-energy glucose (usually carbs) and the ketones (from our stored energy). Usually on-program people have good energy levels, no cravings and no hunger but those fudgey brownies mess with the Medipower.

Good for you for getting the brownies out of the house. Keep on doing the right things now, get some extra sleep and in a day or two you should feel better and be ready to

waltz in the door of the 50 Pound Club!

We’re waiting for you, Carmen!

[CarmenM]

Well.. it is 6:35a.m and i just woke up to get ready for school.. but first i got on the scale and i was very happy to see that i finally made it to the 50lbs club ... Just thought i'd let you guys know

[Susynne]

WOW for YOU!!!!
Congratulations!:clap:
You sound like you are doing GRRRRRRRRRReat!
Keep up the good work, it's encouragement for the rest of us, too!

Smile, smile some more!:D
Susynne

[Gwenski]

CARMEN - CARMEN----- CARMEN!!!!

Woo Hoo and Yee Ha barely begin to describe it.

How awesome are you?!?!? So very very VERY happy for you!!!

Hope your day is beyond fabulous!

[Nancy]

Carmen ~

Welcome to da club, Girl!

Wowser!


You are sittin' in the front row of the 50 Pound Club and you are looking mighty good!

That smile of yours is lighting up my world!

Weigh to go, Carmen!

[dlr2424]

Carmen................................ ......couldn't be happier for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......keep up the awesome work.....................

Donna...dlr2424

[Carrie]

Carmen,

I know I’m kinda late to this post, but I wanted to speak up anyway. I’m sure you’re still very much in the beginning of dealing with your loss.

I’ve had 2 suicides in my life. One was accidental (we think anyway, we can never really know for certain), one was not - they were both cousins of mine.

It absolutely sucks the breath right out of you to know that a loved one chose to end their life. And there are ‘aggravating’ factors that pour salt in the wound…..that you just don’t have with a ‘natural’ death. With an accident or illness we can rail against fate and wonder if we would’ve kept them on the phone for 10 seconds longer they would not’ve gotten hit by the drunk driver, or if we’d found the right doctor, maybe……..maybe, maybe, what if what if……

But with a suicide we are left to face the fact that someone we loved was in such pain that they chose to end their life. It’s devastating to contemplate that we didn’t know how much pain they were in, and also that they didn’t give us the chance to help them. It just plain HURTS that they didn’t reach out to us. And we can never understand. I was very angry with them for a long time, and even as I write this, I feel anger again that they made this choice not only for themselves but for our family. It is so unfair and so damn unnecessary.

I know that my relatives weren’t thinking clearly when they made the choices they did. I know that and it gives me, after years of healing, some comfort to know that. Please know that there is nothing you could’ve done to change what happened. And don’t feel guilty for feeling anger towards them, that is perfectly natural. As difficult as it is, allow yourself to grieve, and try to let acceptance come into your heart – you can waste a lot of your life trying to understand something that you don’t have the answers to.

Try not to let this derail you from your weight loss goal. Your continued perseverance and success in this goal can be a positive spot in your life – something to feel good about, in the midst of your grief.

Take it moment by moment, and cry whenever, wherever you want to.

Carrie