The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[KTown]

After reading through a dozen or so random journals I don’t feel so alone. Some of our situations are different, some similar – some people have a little to loose and some have more but in the end it appears our emotions and frustrations are the same. This is my first journal entry – I’m ready to spill my guts.

Until I met my husband in ’97 I was a size 6-8. I was never the skinny girl but I was in decent shape. It seems that after I found Mr. Right I ate…ate…ate…ate. Some people eat when they are depressed, nervous, anxious…I eat when I’m happy. Because I’m genuinely a happy person…that’s often. 18 months after my husband and I met we were married. I was my heaviest on my wedding day. My wedding dress was a size 16 and I weighed 185lbs. My wedding was exceptionally beautiful & the happiest day of my life; however I don’t look at the pictures.

After the wedding the weight went up down a little but no real changes. Then in Oct. ’02 I went to a concert (Aerosmith to be exact) and had to walk several flights of stairs to get to my crappy seats at the top. When I reached the top I couldn’t breathe, my legs hurt and I was drenched in sweat. It was then I decided I needed to make a change. The following Mon. I started Weight Watchers and lost 45lbs and was in a size 6 again. I was healthy, my endurance was up and I felt great. I kept the weight off for 2 ½ year. I’m the past year 2 years I’ve gained 75% back.

Why did the weight come back? Because I ate. I don’t have any excuses…I simply like food and I eat lots of it. It’s 100% my fault and I take full accountability for my actions. BUT….even thought I’ve gained 30lbs back – two things haven’t changed…I’m still extremely healthy & my endurance is exceptional. I run 8 miles a week and work out with a personal trainer 3 days a week.

I know what you’re all thinking – she’s full of it. If she’s exercising that much, how in the world did she gain 30lbs. Well, that’s what happens when you eat like it’s your last meal 4 times a day – everyday. This is what makes me unhappy. I know I can do better for my self, my comfort and my health if I reduce my BMI and weight.

6 years ago I would have probably wanted to loose the 30lbs for vanity reasons but now I’m 31 and things have changed. I am all about health, fitness and starting a family. I realized a while ago…no one sees that tag on the back of your pants and no one watches when I step on the bathroom scale. It’s not about size or weight for me it’s about health and comfort. It I reach that at 20lbs great….if I hit 30lbs and I feel I need to knock of 10 more so be it.

I don’t tell many people that I want to loose the 30 lbs b/c I get aggravating responses like “Honey, I haven’t been your weight since high school – you don’t need to loose weight” or “I wish I was your size”. Well, that’s great but I’m still not comfortable and I don’t feel healthy. This decision to take a big steep in reaching my goal is about my health and my comfort not my vanity or anyone else’s perception.

So that’s if for now. I’m jump off my soap box and save the rest for another quiet evening. Wish me luck as I start my new venture Sunday morning. I look forward to writing positive updates.

Karen

[Karli]

Hi Karen, it's great to read your story and welcome to the board . Best wishes on your new adventure .


Karli

[sidrah]

You got it...good luck!!

[Arklahoma]

Loved your first post. Welcome to MF and your new life!!!

[Lizabette]

KAREN,
With your great attitude and determination, you will get to that comfortable and healthy place you seek!
We're here to help you all the way!

Lizabette