The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Tiolazz]

Okay....

Finally decided that I should go ahead and jump in the water here, and put my first post.

I will be leaving for Italy in 8 days, and will not be on Medifast while I am gone. I really struggled with this decision since I have lost over 30lbs since the 1st of April, and really just despise the idea of gaining even one lb of that back during my trip, but that is the decision that I made. Seems like my every waking moment is my brain debating this decision.

Now, here come my excuses, beat me up if you must.... (1) I did not want my DH to have to help me over there to be able to be compliant. Bless his heart, I speak Italian pretty well, I understand more than I speak, but he is still having to translate a lot of the time, because they will talk so fast, I get lost, so he is always frustrated with me anyway. I did not want to add to that frustration by causing him to have to intervene on my behalf every where we go about what I can and cannot eat. And we will be going everywhere for a meal. Every family member, every friend wll have a dinner in our honor... ugggggg. (2) Secondly getting ice to make my shakes will be impossible. Heck it is impossible to get ice in your pop over there, so actually having it to make a shake at the house would be impossible. Plus no blender, and of course, I can't take my blender with me. I considered the RTD's but my luggage can only weigh 50lbs and my luggage weighes about 20lbs on it's own with nothing in it, so that wouldn't have worked. I know, I know, I could just shake my shakes, but I really can't stomach them that way, I need that frosty treat or I can't do them. (3) Thirdly, My Dear Dear Mother-in-law is the best, (and I mean the best) cook in the entire world. She is one of the reasons that I got so heavy, not that she caused it, but because her food was soooo good, I would eat until I could eat no more, (bad bad Terri). She has come and stayed with us every two years for 6 months to a year, and she would cook for us everyday. OOOOHHHH just thinking about the home made pasta and sugo pomodoro.... Sorry, I regress, anyhow, I did not want to NOT enjoy the taste of Italy, that is a huge part of their culture and it just seemed like something that I did not want to do. (4) Fourth, my husband and I are amateur wine collectors, and we always bring back wine with us from Italy, his cousin will take us to a new vineyard and we will package some wine to bring home with us, and of course you have to taste it to decide which to bring home. Now I have not had any wine, (well once) since March 31st and I have over 100 bottles, but this is another thing that I really want to partake while I am there. (5) Fifth and foremost, I am going to my first Italian wedding while we are there, my DH's cousin is getting married. Now Italian people really do everything around a meal, they socialize, they celebrate, they mourn, everything, even more so than in this country, and they really do take it as an insult if you do not join them in their meal. I do not want to be the "rude" American woman that was on a diet and could not partake....

Sooooo that's it, those are my excuses, good or bad, right or wrong, that is my decision. Even though I am struggling with it, that is the choice I have made and as Laurie says, I now have to put on my "big girl panties" and deal with the after effects of this decision.

I am going to eat smaller portions, I know I can do this, because I have had quite a few off-plan meals during the last month. And I had decided to go completely off MF this last week before I leave because those off-plan meals have made me a little sick in the past. So I thought that I would just eat "regular food" this last week to better prepare myself, I did not want to be sick my first week in Italy, too little time there for that.... But , I just could not do it. I kept thinking maybe I could lose just lose another 5 lbs before I go, what if I were to gain 5lbs before I leave... My initial plan was to not continue Medifast when I returned, but just to eat sensibly and exercise more. humpfffff!

I soon came to realize that I am not over my issues, food is still what I run to when I am emotional, when I am bored, when I am down, up, sideways, upside down, you name it... damn, I really hate that too... But, I will do this, I will hopefully not gain back 30lbs in 18 days, and I will order my Medifast today, so it will arrive before I leave and will be waiting for me when I get back home. Waiting with a smile on it's little package face , saying to me... " Welcome home Terri, lets get going again, and lets fix this for good"...

So that's it, that is my story. Wish me well in Italy, wish for me that I don't completely undo all my hard work, wish for me that I can come back and jump right back in. I know that I can do this, I just hope and pray that I do this..... I still want so desperately to be the real Terri, the one that I feel like I am, the one that I see and feel. Not this outer shell that has "become" me.

Will post again in July when I return....

[Nova]

I would make the same decision, Tiolazz. I think your reasons are all perfectly valid, and most of all, you have to enjoy your life. It sounds like this is a special, rare trip, and to avoid every single thing that will make it special is depriving yourself a little too much. You're not giving up on Medifast or on yourself. You're being human and enjoying what life brings to you.

Sounds like you already know what to do to take care of yourself. Eat in moderation, enjoy the company, practice Italian and have fun. Do the things that will make you look back in ten years and smile.

[alpha femme]

i think that once you have made your decision, it is important to remember that you are still in control. most of diet, then have a slip up, then give in and pig out.
you can do this sensibly! i'm confident that you will have a good time and eat with the moderation that we will all use after reaching goal.
have a fantastic trip!
we'll be here when you get back.

[DogMa]

Terri, I'd do the same thing. And you can still try to apply some of the Medifast lessons while you're there. You can try to make healthier choices; eat small, frequent meals; and include plenty of veggies. And you'll probably do so much walking that you won't gain as much as you think.

Just have a good time and Medifast will be here when you get back.

[Tiolazz]

Thanks Nova, Alex and Robin,

It's nice to know that I am not a total idiot in this decision..... I really appreciate the support, and I am going to do just that, eat sensibly and get lots and I mean lots of exercise. We will walk everywhere we go, nobody that we know has a car..... train or feet, that is our means of transportation....

I just had to add one thing today...

My boss told me today that he didn't know exactly what it was that I was doing, but that I was really looking good. He said, you know I am a butt man, and your butt is looking really fine... I almost fell out of my chair, no body has said fine and your butt to me in the same sentence in like 15 years... made my day.....

[Tiolazz]

5 days to go until Italy, I am down to 192, hopefully will make it to 190 by then....

I had my official onederdom massage celebration last night, It was wonderful, except the masseuse talked thru the whole thing. Kept asking me questions about myself, and telling me her life story. Dang, I just want to relax when I get a massage, I just want to let someone rub me to sleep, I want to fall so into a relaxed state that I slobber on myself. LOL... but Oh No, Instead I had to listen to her life story from how she met her husband in college up until what her and her kids had done the night before at the ball game.. ugggggg

But it was still nice, I shouldn't sound so negative... bad Terri... at least I made it to onderdom and got a massage. Okay, that's over now....

I have been reading some posts on here about people and their lives before medifast, how they have been big all of their lives and started thinking about my life.

I was actually not big. I weighed 147 when I met my husband at 39 years old, which was 9 years ago. I was in great shape, worked out about 5 times a week for over an hour. Did free weights, cardio, dance classes , aerobics and a spin class. I danced every Friday and Saturday night at the clubs, and I mean every Friday and Saturday night. I was toned, had real ab muscles and my legs looked great.

Then I met Alberto, he was fit, and lean. He was from Italy, had the most amazing thighs, butt and abs I had ever seen. He had been a lifeguard in Italy until he was 27, and played soccer 4x a week. We looked really good together...

Then we fell in love, we both got " comfortable". He introduced me to real Italian food. His mother came from Italy and stayed with us for 6 months. Yes that is right, my mil lived with us for 6 months. For those 6 months, I did not clean, did not do any laundry, did not cook, she did everything. I felt really bad because I did not want her to feel like an indentured servant, but since she does not speak English, she couldn't go out during the day, and she felt lonely, and bored. She told me, (through my husband of course) that she wanted to do these things. She needed to do these things, so far be it from me, to hurt this wonderful little Italian woman.

I also didn't work out, quit going out dancing of course, she wouldn't have wanted to go and wasn't going to leave this wonderful woman at home alone. She was so sweet, and I felt that I needed to stay with her my every not working moment to keep her company, so my daily habits went out the window.

Needless to say, at the end of 6 months, plus we took her back to Italy and stayed there for 1 month, I had gained almost 50 lbs. I told myself that after she went home, I would start working out and go back to my old life. Well it didn't happen. With those extra 50lbs. came knee pain, and back pain. I used that as an excuse to not work out, not move, and I wanted my husband to love my cooking as much as his momma's so I started making pasta alot, and started making my own bread. Mamma came back over the last 9 years, 3 more times. Stayed at the least 6months, up to 9months each visit. And that 50lbs went up 1lb at a time until it was 80lbs.

I was lucky, I was not fat in my childhood. I was not fat in my high school years. I was not fat in my college years. I just got fat 1lb at a time in my adulthood. I didn't have to endure people kidding me and making fun of me. In fact, I hate to admit, I was probably one of those kids who were mean to the fat kid. I probably made some poor kid feel like crap. I probably said something to some adult out loud and obnoxiously that maybe you should just watch what you put in your mouth. I am not proud to admit that.

Sometimes I have wondered if because of those things, my Karma was paying me back by putting me in their shoes, and maybe that is exactly what happened. But whatever happened, I saw the other side of the coin, so to speak. If I could tell thin people anything, it would be, the old famous saying, "there but for the grace of God, go I ". I didn't get fat by sitting down and eating for 10 days everything I could get my hands on. It was a slow progression of eating the wrong things, at the wrong times, in the wrong amounts, and NOT MOVING!

So, I am on this journey, taking 3 weeks off, then back to my goal, and when I am done, and have reached my goal... I want to figure out some way to talk to kids, to teach them about hurtful words and hurtful looks. And maybe, just maybe, redeem myself through helping one person not have to go through what some of you have mentioned going through.

I am going to take the rest of this time on Medifast, to come up with a plan to make that happen. Maybe some sort of in school program, or maybe even a childrens book. Something, anything...... I have been feeling so guilty when thinking back and reading these hurtful things in the journals that I know that maybe in this one small thing, I could make a difference.

That's it for now, as if this novel wasn't enough. Will post again when I return.

Ciao a tutti, e buon giorno !!!

[SharonR]

Girl, I think you are way outta line. You need to stick to the plan!

LOL...alright I am kidding!

Have a great time, I am so jealous, always wanted to go to Italy. Take lots of pictures and share them with us!!



Sharon

[Tiolazz]

well, it the final weekend before our big trip, and this morning I woke up at 3:30am with the worst, painful sore-throat. Been feeling it coming on all week, but just thought I could will it away, I guess...Now it feels like someone is stabbing me in the throat every time I swallow..... uggggggg, never fails... I have not been sick in like 9 months, now here it comes.

<img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_31.gif' border=0>

Went to the store at 5am and got sorethroat losenges, (sp), cepacol, and some vitamin c stuff called emergen-C.... 1000mg of vitamin C with vitamin b-12 added in for energy. I feel like crap... crap ... crap.....

And this just bites, I am soooo depressed.

Oh well, got 3 days to try to beat this dang thing off. I had some left over Z-pak antibiotics, so I took two of those and will take the third tomorrow, don't know if that will help, but couldn't hurt I suppose.

Since my DH lost his job last month, I don't have insurance again until the first of July, so can't even go to the doctor tomorrow. This just really, really bites badly.....

[DogMa]

Oh, Terri, I'm so sorry! Drink lots of fluids and try to get lots of rest, and hopefully you'll be feeling much better by the time you leave.

[Tiolazz]

Well, I am finally back from Italy, actually made it back one week ago. Been super busy catching up with everything from bills, to work, to household chores and knew that I needed to get everything in order so that I could start fresh with Medifast.

Bad news and good news... Bad news is that I gained back 7lbs while in Italy, but that is also the good news. Had Italian gelato every day, but also walked, swam and just got lots of exercise while gone. So all in all, I am very happy with the gain of only 7lbs.

Freaked out the first night home, I weighed for the first time in 3 weeks when we got home from the airport and I was up 17lbs. Freaked me out, but after two days, the swelling from the airplane ride left, and my gain was actually only 7lbs. If I was drinking enough water again, would probably be less than that, but since I returned I have been having a hard time getting my water down for some wierd reason, been really tired all the time too.... uggggg

Haven't been really compliant either. Haven't been really bad, maintaining only, no loss in the last week. So I decided that Monday would be my start in ernest day. Still have alot to do this weekend to get back into the everyday life again.

So Monday it is, and after seeing DeDe's newest pictures, I am pumped. She looks soooo good, and she so inspires me to try even harder and get on with this weight loss.

So will try to be good again for the upcoming weekend, then Monday back to the grindstone, this will be my last restart and my new goal for myself is that by January 1st, of next year, I will be at 150lbs. 47 lbs to go in 5months. I should be able to handle that, would be nicer even sooner, but I am going to choose a very do-able goal. 10lbs a month or so. I can handle that....

So heres to 2007 and a new me, a new slimmer trimmer me....

ciao a tutti..... hehehehe

[Serendipity]

Hey, nice to see you back, Terri!

[DogMa]

Welcome home, Terri!! Good luck with the water; it's been so miserable here, you really do need to make sure you're drinking a lot.

[Tiolazz]

Oh Robin, you have no idea, it was just as hot in Italy, but no air conditioning and we were on the sea the whole time, Heat and super extreme humidity... I would shower, then dry off, and be wet again by the time I got dressed....

I am loving being home, have my air cranked on and coolness everywhere, except outside of course....

I am working on the whole water thing though, feel like I am back to square one, have to mark my bottles on the calendar and remind myself all day to drink drink drink....

but I figure by Wednesday of next week I will be back in the swing of things... lets hope so anyhow....

[FORMOMMY]

Welcome back Terri!!! I hope you had a wonderful time...of course you did!!! silly me!

Only 7lbs!!! That is phenomenal - especially after your description of how your mother-in-law cooks and all the meals - Wow!!! I am proud of you; not sure I would have done so well.

Great job getting right back to it. So did everyone gush over your weight loss ??

[Tiolazz]

Actually, I got alot of compliments, but the best was from my mil, then after she gushed about being able to see a waist line, she started in with the mangia, mangia thing... (eat, eat)..... oh those italian women.

Weird thing is that on my first 3 trips over there, I saw hardly any overweight women or children. It has been 3 years, and this time, OMG. You can certainly see what convenience does for our butts. There were fat women and fat children everywhere.

You can now buy premade convenience foods, not like before, and you can certainly see the difference. Made me really stop to think about those prepackaged foods and ready made frozen foods that we here in America have come to love so much... They certainly don't love us and you can see the difference as the Europeans grow in size as the food products creep over there. Very sad indeed.....