The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[cydj21]

It's time for a confession....and a plea for help.

Let me start at the beginning...
A few weeks ago my uncle, someone whom I am very close to, nearly died in an ATV accident. God was with us and he has recovered amazingly, but that was not to be the last of my family's recent trials. This past Saturday, February 18th, my uncle's daughter (not only my cousin but my best friend) and her fiance lost their home and everything they own in a tragic fire that consumed their house and nearly consumed their lives. When they were picked up out of the snowbank they had fallen into and passed out in after smashing out their bedroom window with barely enough time to save their lives, all they had left were the pajamas they were wearing and her engagement ring. They even lost their vehichles, ATVs, two motorcycles, his brand new snowmobile and their pets...

Why the long winded story, you ask? Well, friends, these past few weeks have been very trying for me. I have been lost without the ability to turn to food, and I have not been 100% successful in staying true to plan....but I have also been more successful than I might have expected. A [short] list of successes first...I have not had any ice cream (Lisa, you know how I feel about ice cream!), and I have not had anything off plan. I have walked away from French fries, chicken wings, and countless other foods that I know would send me spiraling.

A [longer] list of mistakes...I haven't been drinking nearly enough water most days. I have been traveling a lot from where I go to school and home (250 miles) and because of all the time in the car I have had to watch what I drink so I don't have to stop every 15 minutes to find a restroom. One day I had too many bars...three. Not in addition to my supplements (thank goodness) but in place of them....basically because it would have been difficult to make something else and it was that or succomb to other temptations. I took the bars over a turkey sub...still feeling guilty while I ate them, but glad that I had at least strayed from plan with something that wouldn't totally pollute my body. Also, I had a couple of drinks this weekend. Again it is a failure and a success all at the same time...instead of my usual vodka/tonic with plenty of lime, I had vodka with club soda. Still alcohol, yes, but no additional carbs or sugars...and again that is a small success.

My plea is this...I know I haven't completely failed. I have still managed to lose weight and I haven't given in to the things that would typically have reeled me in. I also feel some amount of pride because I feel that because of MF I have learned some good lessons on controlling my cravings, controlling what goes into my mouth, and enjoying things I like in new ways that are healthier for me....but I am starting to panic. I know MF works, and best yet I feel great, people are noticing my weight loss, and I have faith that I will succeed. There is a dark side though. I've never made it six weeks on any weight loss plan so this already is a huge achievement...I am always doing well, start to slip and ultimately fail. I DO NOT want that to happen again. In my mind I feel something odd and familiar creeping up on me...whispering to me that I'm on my way toward ruining all the progress I have made. My plea is for some inspiration...for some reassurance that my doubts are not going to get the best of me, for some help in quieting those evil voices that are telling me, "Hey, you already screwed up- why not order a pizza?"

I am fighting, and I am fighting hard...but now is when I need all of you to help me in my fight. Whatever words of wisdom and prayers you have, I certainly appreciate. I will win this fight and I will win it with the help I have been blessed to find on this forum.

[falisamarie]

Oh Cyd honey I feel for you and send many prayers to you and your family. You have been through soooo much. Sweetie you deserve an award for how well you have done all things considered I honestly thought when I read the first part of your post that you had gone to an all you can eat buffet and spent the whole day there or something. Not enough water or too many bars in a day???? Girlfriend you did excellent. I know how hard it is to resist foody temptations in the hard times and you did it sister! As for the couple of drinks well it was only a couple and even with those you were program conscience and careful of what you had. I am not saying this is something you should continue to do but you were in a difficult place and managed it wonderfully. Better days are ahead for us both. You also lost this week so look to that as something positive and just keep on shaking becasue we are all only human.

Many hugs and lots of love

Lisa

[Patti]

Cyd,

I think you did wonderful through the crisis that you have been faced with. Sounds to me that you were very proactive rather than reactive. You used the knowledge you have learned from Medifast to do the best that you could considering the circumstances, grief and pressures that you were experiencing.

Prayers go with you and your family. Take care of yourself.

Patti

[Ginabobina1969]

Cyd (((HUGS)))

Secondly, many prayers for your family as they begin to piece their lives back together.

Under the circumstances you have done marvelously. I agree that you should not be so hard on yourself and as far as the 6 week "timeline" of you failing on past diets...Don't even think about that...on the quit smoking site I frequented one thing that was said...was to "stay out of your head" meaning don't try to overanalyze things or your cravings. Just decide that no matter what crave comes up the answer is NO. Your mind WILL try to draw you into a debate about whatever item your craving...don't let it. Your succeeding at this diet, you have learned so much and come so far. So my advice maam is to just keep doing what you have been doing and stay out of your head.

You can do this! We believe in you!!! Now it's time for YOU to believe in you!

Hugs,
Gina

[big ron]

Cyd,
During trying times like this makes things difficult to say the least. I too have been derailed by dissaster while in weightloss. Last year it happened again, but I didnt have this support group back then. Use us lean on us but dont give up. I am sure your loved ones would feel horrible if they found out thier tragidy derailed you. I am sure they would not want that. Post often and if you want to talk PM me and I will give you my number if you need someone to lean on. Back in 1989 my father died tragically and I derailed my weightloss and over the next year gained massive amounts of weight. This didnt help him nor me. I understand and are there if you need me. Ron

P.S. just think how proud you will be of yourself as well as them when this is behind you and you stayed focus and strong? Lean on us

[MusicalMomma]

Awwwww Cyd ((((((HUGS)))))) I am SO sorry this is such a rough time for you. I think you are doing WONDERFUL! Please don't feel guilty! Remember how you used to deal with highly stressful situations. This is a victory, not a failure! You know what little things went wrong for you and you're making changes. Give yourself a little mercy and grace. You're doing great! I'm proud of you

[Lizabette]

Cyd,

I may not have words of wisdom (others will supply that!) but I do have prayers for you and your family during this time of stress and need!

God cares and we care!

Lizabette

[2BHealthy]

Cyd,

I have been where you are. I'm so sorry. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. It's very hard to take care of ourselves and not comfort ourselves with food when everything is crashing down around us. Just remember this will pass too. You can do this!