I think I'm going to be sick =(

Post your weight loss successes or failures here...:)

I think I'm going to be sick =(

Postby LilMsTexas » April 23rd, 2005, 5:09 pm

Well I did it friends. I cheated and I just feel like I want to cry my eyes out. We went on an all day outing today.....take the car to the painter.......to the Smithsonian Air and Space museum....then to the mall........then to CRACKER BARREL! That's where it all went south...

The day started pretty good. I had two shakes as we left the house because I didn't know if I would be able to have my morning snack anytime soon. I took a thermos full of boiling water and my oatmeal...and my bar. By the time we made it to the Smithsonian it was snack time and I took the baby and we sat in the food court and I had my oatmeal and a diet coke. I have not had any water at this point and I'm dying for it. Why did I buy a diet coke instead?? By the time we left there 3 hours later I thought I was going to pass out. I quickly got out my bar when we got to the van and ate it as I drove. still no water.

We got to the mall and I sat in the food court with my husband and older son while they ate Taco bell. I had just eaten my bar so I got my first bottle of water for the day FINALLY! So far so good. Doing light on the water but other than that no big deal. Real proud of myself for not giving into all the crud at Potomac Mills! (some of you know what I mean)

Then we shopped shopped shopped. Finally left the mall and decided at 4:30 that it was dinner time for all of us. We went to Cracker barrel because I knew I could get the chopped hamburger steak and I LOVE THEIR GREEN BEANS!! I got a glass of water and we ordered our meals. I ordered the chopped hamburger steak, country green beans and the corn. This is the first mistake. I ended up having 3 very small bites of the corn :? But the waitress brought out a PLATE OF PIPING HOT CRACKER BARREL BISCUITS AND CORNBREAD :cry: I sat there and broke up biscuit for my baby to eat over and over and over again. I was holding the biscuit in my hand.....my husband was eating a corn muffin with butter right in front of me over and over again........then it happened..........I ate 3 small bites of the biscuit that I had broken off for my baby :bricks: Even as I was eating the little morsels I was thinking "why am I doing this?" I haven't had bread one single time in 2 months! Bread is my absolute Achilles Heel folks. I thank God that I didn't eat a whole biscuit. I'm thankful that I didn't even take a big ole bite!! But I am so incredibly disappointed in myself for having those three little nibs of bread. I'm not sure that I even had 2 tablespoons of the corn........and the green beans may even of had some fat in them from seasoning (I'm not sure)........but the bread :cry:

I have overcome sooooooooooo many obstacle since I've started........soooooooooooooo many special occasions in just 7 weeks it's ridiculous........WHY did I stick that bread in my mouth today? It may seem trivial to some who have really gone off plan for days or weeks or big time at a party ect. But this was a failure for me. Mentally I'm asking WHAT NOW? I know that all is not lost of course. I know that tomorrow is another day. yadayadayada. I guess I just came here to talk to myself and my friends about it. I just wish I hadn't done it. As Nancy said......any little thing tips the balance of the teeter-toter. I was actually sitting there at the table thinking about the teeter-toter and that is actually what stopped me from eating the whole biscuit!

Well folks I'm going to go lay in the bathtub and see if I can wash the cares away. I'll be seeing you all in the morning. I know I've only lost 1lb this week as it is. Hopefully tomorrow that lb will still be gone.
Hugs to all,
Chris
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
Christi AKA LilMsTexas

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Postby want2Bthin » April 23rd, 2005, 5:18 pm

LilM-
Girl, don't beat yourself up. We are all human. The important thing here is you recognized what you were doing and stopped. Did you hear me, you stopped! That is a huge accomplishment in itself. You are being too hard on yourself.

Tomorrow is a bright new beginning. Now you know that you do not like the way cheating made you feel. I bet it will be a long time before you slip again. You are doing awesome.

Smiles,
Angelia :lol:
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Postby Nancy » April 23rd, 2005, 5:26 pm

Christy ~

Aw...so sorry. That :x DANG evil :twisted: bread :twisted: - it kills me every time. Even to this day...

You are probably gonna be just fine. Don't let this push you over the edge, Doll.

We :heart: love you; :heart: love yourself.

Soak in the tub, get your head back on straight.

Sheesh! You probably :weightlift: walked a lot of calories off today.

Here's a teensy little humorous story for you...

For those of you who have been on the brink of :snooze: exhaustion because of this coughing stuff going around.......this is funny!

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.

The owner asks the clerk, "What's wrong with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk goes "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner goes, "You :hammerhead: idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"

The clerk responds, "Of course you can!

Look at him; he's :shock: afraid to cough! "



Medifast application...for those of you on the complete program
(the full fast, no regular food) and you are :scratch: thinking of having a juicy burger or calling up the Pizza Dude...picture yourself leaning HEAVILY against the wall...

Christy, your :mrgreen: experience today couldda been worse... :oops:
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels...
The Formerly FLABulous and Now very Fabulous
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Postby Principessa » April 23rd, 2005, 5:40 pm

Aww... Christi, sweetie! I'm so sorry that you feel like you let yourself down. And since I went of plan last night I can understand your agony with just a little transgression. It wasn't a binge... but it does give your confidence a little blow to realize that you won't get through this whole weight-loss phase without at least this little battle scar.

For me, I had to forgive myself pretty fast, because I know that if I don't I'll just let one bad bite (for you) or one bad meal (for me) become enough of a big deal that I'll quit out of frustration with myself.

You quit after a few BITES! Be darn proud of yourself woman! Look at home much of a success that is compared to the past! Awesome!

You're ALREADY back on track, and you've learned the important lesson of have stashes of extra MF and water in your vehicles, at work, everywhere.

Your still doing great, and now this little little little transgression will give you added wisdom.

Keep shakin' girlie!
Mary
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Postby dlr2424 » April 23rd, 2005, 5:47 pm

Christi...........I wish I could be there right now so you could use my shoulder to cry on....and then my butt for a punching bag..........to take out the frustration.....(well my butt is well padded...much like a punching bag)...........well I can't be there but I'm sending you these:
.... :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Corn muffins w/ butter in front of me = torture...........give yourself credit for not shoving the entire biscuit in your mouth before you even realized where it went......... :roll: ........(that was my past).....However, I can understand your dissapointment......I don't think it was about the extra food...as much as it was the fact of doing it and feeling defeated cause you may not have been in total control at that moment............You had a million times all day to mess up......but you didn't......you prepared ahead of time and was in control.......you also was in control of not downing the entire biscuit..............give yourself a hug.......you deserve it........ :thumbup:
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Postby 24KaratGold » April 23rd, 2005, 5:52 pm

Shoot, I thought you were going to tell us that you ate the whole basket of biscuits -- something I would have been quite capable of doing pre-MF and might even fall prey to on a bad day nowadays (hope not!).

Call it a victory, hon. You survived a rough day with three bites of biscuit and two (or less) tablespoons of corn. I bet that's not enough carbs to mess with your ketosis, and as Nancy says you walked off lots of calories today.

We'll expect to see you at Roll Call tomorrow. I bet your scale won't even notice this. Be good to yourself tonight.
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Postby armeewyf » April 23rd, 2005, 6:20 pm

You are always such a cheerleader for everyone! Any post you've sent me have always been so upbeat-you really made me feel welcome to the Forum (I think you were the first person to respond to my first post!) I have a baby too...let me tell you, I can sympathize with eating what you are preparing for them. I think the hardest part of my day is breaking her toast up or cutting her pancakes first thing in the morning...I try to get my oatmeal in the micro before she eats but usually it doesn't happen...her breakfast just looks so CARBY and YUMMY and TEMPTING! :mrgreen: You have done so well on this program. You always post such encouraging thoughts :D From one army wife to another, don't beat yourself up!
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Postby LilMsTexas » April 24th, 2005, 5:15 am

Thank you everyone :D I sat down with my husband last night after I made my post and asked him why he didn't say anything to me about the bites of biscuit. :? He said "honestly Christi I didn't see you eat them...I must have been to busy shoving those muffins in my own face!" lol Even though I wish I hadn't of eaten anything off plan yesterday, it did push me to have a much needed conversation with DH. He is doing Atkins and we are trying to be supportive to each other. Unfortunately his idea of being suportive is giving me permission to stop MF. When I have a bad day, or when I'm having a "poor pitiful me" moment he says "honey if you don't think it's working then stop doing it and try something else!" That is NOT what I need to hear........ever. I of course have TRIED everything else......but I am SUCCEEDING at MF :cheerleader:

And I AM succeeding! And even though I stumbled yesterday I didn't fall completely on my face and yes now I KNOW exactly how it feels for me to go back to an old way. I am turning my lemons into lemonade this morning dear friends. Thank you all for taking your time to encourage me. Now my engines are powered up to go back to supporting all of you!!
I just love you guys!!
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
Christi AKA LilMsTexas

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Postby Nancy » April 24th, 2005, 8:29 am

Atta Girl! That's the way!

Changing ingrained habits or a lifestyle does not happen over night. It takes time and great effort. Your husband's comment about not seeing you eat the bites of :twisted: corn biscuits is sort of a testimony to that, Christy - he was used to doing and seeing the same so your actions did not seem unusual.

You are making excellent progress. :thumbup:

Do not beat yourself up – :hug: hug yourself for the good choices you have made every other day this week!

Be :bow: thankful you found Medifast and that you are able to get it!

You are a :toast: Shaker, Girl! You are gonna shake that flab right outta your bod! :cheers:
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels...
The Formerly FLABulous and Now very Fabulous
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Postby LilMsTexas » April 24th, 2005, 8:42 am

Your husband's comment about not seeing you eat the bites of corn biscuits is sort of a testimony to that, Christy - he was used to doing and seeing the same so your actions did not seem unusual.


WOW........that REALLY hit home with me Nancy! Nothing truer has ever been said. I have always "cheated" in the past. Gotten close but never to goal. And my habits are sooooooooo old and soooooooooo typical that we don't even NOTICE anything out of the ordinary. WOW!

"The sure sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!"author unknown
I always KNEW I was crazy :nana: now we have proof :shock:
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
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Postby TamiL » April 24th, 2005, 8:49 am

Hey Christi...glad to hear your up and running strong again!! I can TOTALLY RELATE to how you felt...me being the one who went off and on the program...and thats how it all started with just a few nibbles of something that I KNEW wasnt allowed...BUT KUDOS to YOU FOR BEING STRONG AND NOT throwing in the towel all together and eating a WHOLE biscut...my thinking was always 'well Ive already cheated, may as well eat everything I can and start again tommorrow"...you DID THE BRAVE thing..you stopped when you realized..and picked yourself right back up!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I think some of us...especially me...will always have that "shovel" disease....its like you dont even realize your eating something..just shoveling it in...HAND TO MOUTH syndrome!! but we overcome that when we realize what we are doing and dont let the FOOD DEMONS take over from there!!
glad to hear your back on track......those pounds will come off!!
Im only 3 pounds from my goal weight....its taken me a long time, but hey, Im almost there!!
the important thing is to never give up or in..just keep shakin!!! :D
Tami
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IF YOU BELEIVE!!!

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Postby LilMsTexas » April 24th, 2005, 8:52 am

Hey Tami..........please post before and after pictures!! I want to see what I'm gonna look like hehehe I stare and stare at the mirror and hold in my stomach and stand sidewise and try to hide it :shock: but Im still dying to know what it will FINALLY looks like :D oh to be 135!! Can't you just TASTE IT!
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
Christi AKA LilMsTexas

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Postby dlr2424 » April 24th, 2005, 10:08 am

TamiL wrote:...my thinking was always 'well Ive already cheated, may as well eat everything I can and start again tommorrow"...... I think some of us...especially me...will always have that "shovel" disease....its like you dont even realize your eating something..just shoveling it in...HAND TO MOUTH syndrome!!


To well I can relate.... :roll: .......also I love the term "shovel disease" & the "hand to mouth syndrome".......kinda like "THE SEAFOOD DIET".....( see food & eat it)...... :goofy:
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Postby DonicaB » April 24th, 2005, 10:19 am

Hey Christi--I was gone all day yesterday and didn't see your post until just now. Everyone has already said what I was going to say, but..........(you know me I can't keep my mouth shut)..........

Do you know how many times prior to this MF journey, that when I ate something I shouldn't I would just beat myself up until I said "Well since I blew it, I might as well eat everything I can find." And that is exactly what I did. I am so proud of you for not doing that.

I am so afraid to eat anything that is not on the plan because I don't want to eat everything in the house. I guess I still don't have a great deal of confidence in myself.

Your post has given me hope that I too will not go off the deep end if I have one little sway off course.

Thank you for sharing, even though it was painful. :hi5:

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Postby LilMsTexas » April 24th, 2005, 10:38 am

Thank you everyone. I find it most interesting that even when our posts are completely personal and individual it manages to touch so many of us in different ways. That is why this forum is so wonderful......well.....one of the many reasons.

Knowing that I took some nibbles and left the rest alone really was a good beginning. In the past......as with so many of us......give us an inch we take a mile. I call it the "Monday morning syndrome". Aren't we alwayys going to start our diet on Monday? When we cheat on the weekend don't we just say "Ok....I'll get back to work on Monday morning". That gives us permission to splurge all weekend right?

When DH and I were talking last night we were talking about maintenance and how I wouldn't be on this forever. I told him I think about it all the time........and I do. Speaking of maintenance where is Raederle??? Anyway...back on topic.......I have to learn to go to Chick-fil-a and have a sandwhich and UNsweetened tea.....or diet coke. If occassionally I want the waffle fries I need to learn that the SMALL order is certainly enough and if I don't want to be VALUE SIZED myself I'd better stick to the SMALL order!! When at Cracker barrell if I want A biscuit it should mean ONE biscuit and not ONE PLATE of biscuits :shock: Pizza will not kill me, but ONE WHOLE pizza will get it started!!

So yesterday was a defeat and a victory. In my mind I lost a battle, but I'm dang sure gonna win the war!! Thank you all again for your love and encouragement. I hope many more of you equally benefitted from this talk.
Hugs,
Christi
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
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