The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[ljm498]

I've hit it. That stupid brick wall, the one that I always run into eventually. The one that sits there blocking me from going any further. That stinkin wall that makes me believe that I'm stuck and can't reach my goal no matter what I do. I hate this wall. I've yet to figure out how to get past it. This wall is made up of many types of bricks. The "fear of success" brick. The "poor me, this is taking too long" brick. The "I've been doing this since March and need a break" brick. I know there are others but those are the big ones. Unfortunately, my control has gone COMPLETELY. It took just one cheat, during PMS no less, and here I am, struggling to get through "day one" again. Why can't I get my resolve back? Gaining weight back IS NOT an option for me, so I will find a way. But how? I'm hoping that when the old "aunt" is here for the month the mad munchies will go away. But I can't figure out why I'm having such a hard time this month! I've breezed through PMS up until now. What's different? That I'm out of ketosis and my body is reacting badly? I dunno. I've been a basket case today, not just with food. My poor little one didn't want to drink his sippy and I got all irrationally ticked off. Not my proudest moment, needless to say. I bawled my eyes out afterward because I felt terrible and then my husband calls to tell me he's working two hours late. Bawled some more. And then, my little one, just after I got angry with him, comes over to me, sees that I'm crying and pats me on the head, rubs my shoulder and gives me a hug. Yeah, I'm the worst mom ever and he's the sweetest little thing. Then, my husband is upstairs puttinh Zack to bed and I'm like a stinkin squirrel downstairs looking for things to stuff in my face. I wasn't really hungry, that's for sure. Just needed comfort I suppose. I knew there was white chocolate chips in the house and realized my husband had hidden them. I gotta tell ya, I was pathetic. Searching high and low in the pantry. Then out in his truck. I even tried to get it out of him where they were but he wasn't budging. Finally I made a comment about they're going to melt into a big ball of chocolate because it's warm out and he just smiled this little, almost arrogant smile like, no they won't. I knew right then and there they were in the freezer and I found the stupid things. I was tackled. Literally. I think I said if you touch these I will smack you upside the head with them, and other various and assorted threats. (I would never, by the way). He tried so hard to get me to not eat them. I won. I did not eat the whole bag, for the record. Was ANY of this worth it? Heck no. Do I feel better? Nope. Actually, feeling pretty depressed and scared. Scared because I'm afraid I've lost it. I only have 25 stinkin lbs to go for crying out loud! What is WRONG with me???????

Well, tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully the wall will be a little easier to get past, even a little bit. I'm bound and determined to get my solid as a rock mindset back. I KNOW the program works, I don't doubt that for a second. I just need to work now. I need to do my part. Wish me luck.

Thanks for listening to my rant and vent.

[Nancy]

Awww...Lynne ~

What a horrible night you've had! Wish I could come over there tonight with a bulldozer and wipe out that wall for you!

There are times that we just get plain old sick and tired of it all and when that happens, we still need to keep on doing the right things. Lemme tell ya, I had several of those brick wall moments during my weight loss phase and I have had them since then - I'd love to eat a bag of chocolate chips myself right now!

I think what often happens for people, especially for women during the approach of Auntie Flow...we fail to have our packets close enough together, we skip a packet or two and we don't get enough rest. That will set us up for failure and random acts of eatage. Every time I get over-loaded with activity and stress, I stretch my packets out to the max of 4 hours or more. Then I hit bottom and stand in the kitchen with the refer open and inhale everything.

We cannot run our fine bodies on fumes; we need a steady stream of premium fuel to prevent low blood sugars and carb-hunger. If you have an especially long work day and haven't had much rest, then have an extra packet or two - it is far better to have a nutritiously balanced packet than a carb-loaded bag of chips or pizza.

I am sorry that you lost it tonight and had that head-banger session but let's look at the bright side here - your little cutie hugged you up and loved you, your husband was doing his best to prevent the chip-a-thon and you feel rotten now - and you've already admitted that the candy didn't make things all better - your family and its special relationship is what you needed.

We love ya. It probably won't take three days to get it back - you'll be there tomorrow afternoon. Have a shake and hit the sack. Tomorrow is a fresh new day. Have a puddin' day or a soup day or a bananner shake day!

kisskiss

[tumbleweed]

Lynne, Oh wow do I know about them walls! Some days I feel like I am taking teeny little chips out of them other days I feel lke I am kicking huge sections away but them days when they start building back up stink thats for sure. Dont give up your fight! this is a new day and it will be better for you. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about what happened, just put that behind you and start fresh because you are worth it! I am sending you a hug and I hope you have a wonderful day today!!!

[LilMsTexas]

oh dear...I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry You of course were writing about yourself....but you were also telling my story at the same time....BIG TIME!! Last night and all day yesterday, heck, the whole DANG WEEK I've been a mess of anger and sadness and stressedoutness (not sure if that is a dictionary word, but it's MY word lol) and so on the way home I stopped by CiCi's and bought 3 pizzas (one for each of us) and a whole box of cinnamon rolls I ate my entire pizza and THEN ate half of the cinnamon rolls (with a diet coke) I went to bed so mad last night I could hardly sleep all night.

You and I have been doing this since March. I weigh 145 and you weigh 150...I've had it and you've had it. BUT....we still WANT the final prize...the ultimate goal...the BIG BOW ON THE BOX and WE CAN DO IT!! Please God tell us that we can do it. Please tell us that we WILL do it. I am feeling so much like I"m done and can't go on with anything right now. But everything I binge I feel worse. I know the irrational behavior that I'm involved in. I know as I'm writing this what I would say to someone else. Someone please tell my heart and spirit what my mind already knows because I just want to run away from everything right now.

Lynne....I KNOW in my heart we will bounce back and be fine and by Christmas we will BOTH be celebrating a new year with a new life of health and happiness. I guess right now is just a stinker time. We're allowed to have it....let's just hurry up and finish this phase and move back into ACTION MODE! I'll be there for you and you be there for me. I could reach through the computer and hold your hand I would

I'm going upstairs to have a shake right now!!!
Big Christi hugs

[Nancy]

Folks, totally empty your house of temporarily forbidden food - every bit of it.

Make it a self-imposed rule to NOT stop at any fast food or drive up food window unless you have a guard in your presence.

I am totally serious here. We are like alcoholics or druggies and we cannot be trusted to be within grab and scarf distance of regular grub. We get irrational at times.

I totally understand the “seek and devour” mentality.

It is pure torture to know there is a foody friend lurking somewhere in the dark recesses of the cupboard, in the freezer, the pantry or in the refer.

One time I ate a jar of bleu cheese salad dressing – I drank it from the pint jar while standing in front of the open refrigerator - just grabbed it of the door and glurped it down - this was the mayo-based high calorie high fat chunky bleu cheese variety.

Out of sight, outta mind is NOT true – if it’s outta sight and you KNOW it’s there, it drives you outta your mind until you eat it.

Get rid of it!

Take no prisoners!

Get it outta there.

Christi, you are a parole officer – from here on out, the MakeMeThinner Forum is Lynne’s and YOUR parole officer and you have to report your activity…

Stop that stuff right now.

Today is YOUR first day to do everything within your power and His power to get through your day in three hour intervals of success.

Sheesh! You have endured labor!

Christi, you endured stomach surgery!

Wild eatings will not bring back our loved one or make our periods stop or the PMS evacuate the premise so we cannot let the call of the cupboards, the flack of the freezer, the lies of the enemy that whispers into our ear, “It’s ok, Hon, this little bit won’t hurt you, it won’t interfere with your plan. Go ahead…just one slice of pizza is all right… just a few white chocolate chips will soothe you…” That's a total LIE and we know it in our head but sometimes our mouth, hand and emotional center hasn't figured it out yet!

"Go ahead...just this once...

Meep! Meep! Back way!

That’s a lousy lie and we know it when we are rational. (That’s the key, isn’t it?)

I sure wish I knew what made us get a case of the overwhelming food whackies but just know that it happens to most of us and when it does, let it be a single incident and not take over our whole day and let’s not dwell on it.

Treat it like a pair of fanny hose with a run. Step out of it; toss it away and move on.

There are lots and lots of successful days behind you both and many great days ahead of you.

There are things that only you can do and the world needs you two special ladies.

Brush off the white chocolate chip smears and the pizza and cinnamon roll crumbs and move on. You can do it!

I believe in you!
.

[LilMsTexas]

Thanks Nancy.........as usual that was just what I needed

[Jan]

Hi,
May I sit in the psychoanalyst's chair for a moment??? Well here I am.

Why do we Pig Out

First, there is a thing called the "fear of success" -- doesn't that sound crazy?? We've heard of it.
It is crazy - but it is really there. Sometimes when we are almost where we want to be -- getting close-- we sabotage ourselves. Why?? Well there are a variety of reasons. One is that we are not sure that it will be as wonderful as we had imagined ( or at least we fear it won't be as wonderful )-- so we sabotage ourselves so we really don't have to find out. We can still dream how wonderful it will be -- we imagine our success certainly will change all kinds of stuff for us. You know if only ...... then ....... . As long as we don't reach our goal our fantasies can stay firmly in place -- we don't have to face reality ----We are simply scared!!!

Another reason we "pig out" is control. We want to have control -- as long as we maintain our old habits we are in control!! This links up with stress. No one can really live a stress free life and there are lots of things over which we have no control at all -- so no one is going to tell us what to eat or not to eat!! We can control what goes in the old mouth. We fight for control -- stuff as much as we want in our mouths even when we know it will sabotage us. No one can stop us and the more they try the more determined we become. Almost like trying to take a tasty bone away from a dog!! Doesn't matter to us that we are really harming ourselves!!

Now, sometimes its not even such a psychological issue. We are just tired of being good. We've had it. We feel sorry for ourselves -- afterall we alll know someone who can eat what they want -- why can't I??
I'm sick of depriving myself -- we host a pity party and invite ourselves.

And lastly sometimes we eat because we're bored and it gives us something to do. Most of us have a hard time just really sitting still without something occupying our time. Soooooo off to the fridge or cupboard we travel. We are bored so we go in seach of an old friend. We all know( for certain) that that food will make us feel much much better. WRONG !!

LIfe is about learning and we all have a lot of re-learning to do. We take it a step at a time. Old habits die slowly along with old thought patterns.
We can't change everything at once but we can start. If we know why we are eating at least that is a step in the right direction. It is easier to make changes if you know and understand why you are doing it to start with.

I've made my share of trips to the fridge, said "you can't tell me to do" both by my words and my actions. We are all learning.
jan

[Gwenski]

LJM you are human and a woman with elavated hormones - no worries, it will pass and you can get through this. Your support system is awesome, I doubt either of my two dogs would do anything more than try to eat with me........

You are almost there and sort of stressed and burnt out - I think this is from "Anne of Green Gables" but it is one of my favortives........

Everyday is fresh with no mistakes in it yet.

Heck, even when we slip up there is opportunity to learn and grow -- life, it is quite a journey.

No matter what you think, we know you can do this and you are already totally a sucess!!! Heck when things get better - tackle your hubby back -- you can burn some extra calories!

[dlr2424]

Jan...........that was awesome..........even though we have heard it before.......sometimes we absorb it differently...... .......I am definetly the 2nd & 4th........control & boredom.........Heart & Head hunger...... ......I laugh when I see what you wrote regarding control...... .....that has my signature all over it....... .....like a little child...... ....hmmm........"no ones gonna tell me I can't"....... ....and yet the only one we are really hurting is ourself...... .....double dooh........ ......sometimes it's good for us to reread things as reprograming our minds take such effort...... ......thanks again.... ......

Donna....dlr2424

[ljm498]

Thanks you guys! I always know I can come here for support. Thankfully I'm doing better today.

Nancy, thanks for the kick in the pants, I really needed to hear it. You are absolutely right that I need to get everything that could do damage out of the house. And you are absolutely right, I CAN do this and WILL do this. Yes, labor, I remember it still. Far too vividly. All 21.5 hours of it. If I can get through that I can do this. I'm proving to myself that it's possible to get past the wall. I've actually done it. Today has been absolutely perfect and I feel that my resolve is back. But yes, we will report to the parole board any damaging behaviors, right Christi?

We can do this Christi, we know we can! Let's get our heads straight and finally get this done with! God led us to MF and it's up to us to listen. He wants us to be our best selves and losing this weight and being healthy for us and for our family will be doing that. Let's get it done girl! No more chocolate chips (and various other things that went in last night) and no more pizza!

Jan you hit the nail on the head with what you said. All of it. You know what my fear of success focuses on? It focuses on me getting to goal and then not being able to stay there. I also am not one for attention and I have to say, that losing weight creates attention. But, I'm getting over that too. And the control thing is so so true. I even said that to my husband the other night. I'm having a control issue with spending money lately too. And we just paid taxes and taxes in January are coming up and all of the other things we need money for. The problem was that I wasn't sure what we owed where and when I don't know the exact numbers I freak out. So, I sat myself down, looked into all of the accounts and made a plan and a budget. So, I feel better about that too. Thankfully, everything isn't nearly as bleak as I had it out to be in my head. Thankfully, I am learning many things along the way on this journey. Especially today when I woke up and realized all is not lost and my resolve was back. I realized I can get past anything and yesterday will soon be a distant memory and tomorrow will be great! Yup, my eating was definitely a control issue. No one was gonna tell me I can't eat if I want to. So there. I'm turning the control thing around in a way. Instead of being in control by rebelling against someone else and stuffing my face, I'm going to rebell against the sabbotaging voice in my head and stick to my medifast! That's the control I want, right there.

Gwenski, dogs are always there for you no matter what. Even if it's to help you eat! "Everyday is fresh with no mistakes in it yet". That's an awesome quote and fits how I feel everyday. Especially in the past couple of days trying to get back in the swing of this. 5:45 am is always the start of a clean slate, waiting for me to make the most of it. Today, I'm happy to say I remained mistake free. Well, with MF anyway

Tumbleweed, thanks for the hug! We'll keep kicking big chunks out of that stinkin wall until it's gone for good! We WILL get there!

Thanks again everyone, you have really helped me get some perspective and really made me feel motivated again. My big project to be excited about is this last 25lbs! It's not a lot. Far from the 90lbs that I had to lose in the beginning. So this should be a breeze!

Be well everyone!

[Nancy]

Did you two survive another day?

[LilMsTexas]

So far so good lol

[ljm498]

Yup, not doing badly at all!