hi everyone
WARNING, this might possibly be the most annoying post in the history of mesage boards!!
ok, i need to ramble....please forgive me for being long-winded. feel free to chime in!
i am in my second week of MF and lost 1 pound, bringing my total to 11 pounds. you might be thinking "yay!" or "ok, so what is her problem?" or "is she cheating?"
my question is, is 1 pound a victory or a curse?
Positives of the number 1:
A) the number 1 usually means success in most instances (i.e.--the patriots are number 1, ok so i am a pats fan!)
B) 10 pounds + 1 pound=11, which reduces my weight loss to 89#
C) the number 1 is skinny
D) 1 is better than 0
E) "one" is a great U2 song
Negatives of the number 1:
A) it is small
B) it is less than 2
C) there are jeans that size and adult people fit in them
ok so in my listing of the positives outweigh (no pun intended!) the negatives. so why is it when i diet and lose 1 pound i am disappointed and when i am bingeing and gain 1 pound i am grateful it is not more? how do i make the number 1 a victory and not a letdown? how do i accept that 1 is a leap forward in my quest? am i alone in this?
i know that weight loss is not easy. i know that i am going to have ups and downs. i know that a loss is a loss. i guess my fear of failure is so great that i am afraid i am doing something wrong.
then i have the inevitable thoughts including: will this work for me? is this going to be a super slow process for me? these are the kinds of questions i have. i feel like i wouldnt feel this way if this hadnt happened in my second week.
so what does the number 1 really add up to, success or something else?
whew! thanks for letting me vent
leeann
Starting weight on Nov. 3, 2008: 220 | Present weight: 220 | Goal: 135