The Depressing Group Mood

Questions/Comments about Weight loss Products.

The Depressing Group Mood

Postby Starloser63 » April 1st, 2004, 11:16 am

Hello everyone,

I am going to start this off by saying, I am not trying to offend anyone. This is my feeling only. I have been having a really hard time coming here for support. I know I am as much to blame as anyone but, it seems like we have become a bunch of whiners! I am trying to stick with this program and I come in here and all I read about is: is it worth it, I can't do this, I made a pig of myself, I had a bad week so I gained 8 pounds. I don't know maybe it is just my mood today, but it is depressing the heck out of me.(Sorry for the strong language) I know we all have to be having some good days in there too. How about we start posting them too. I just think we need more balance. If I was a lurker, I would be saying why on earth are these people doing this? Like I said I do not want to offend anyone, but can we pick up the mood maybe every other day or something. Please. :cry:

I know I am going to get some feedback on this, please be nice. I have included myself in the problem.

Hugs to you all,
Susan
Through Christ all things all possible.
Susan F
246/216/150
3/23/04 2nd x
First Goal 199
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Postby Guest » April 1st, 2004, 11:32 am

Biggest whiner of all here, so I'm going to contribute. I am on day 11 and think this is a turn around point for me. I'm not hungry constantly, I'm sleeping better, I feel good, and am not having any cravings at all...except being thin and succeeding! I also am experiencing extra energy as of yesterday. I did NOT go home and feel the need for a nap...the first time since I started Medifast. Best of all, the scale is moving down bit by bit and my clothes are getting looser. This program DOES work. Every one of you that told me to have patience and give it time were right! It's working..it's happening, and today, at this moment, I feel like I can make it to goal. All of you here are amazing and one of the prime reasons I have stuck with this program thus far. Thank you for the continued support and encouragement, along with a few hard knocks. I wish you all the best and to be a part of this wonderful group for a long time. I live for the moment I reach my goal. Like Pame says, we can do this together! How's that Susan? :)
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Postby pinkgeek » April 1st, 2004, 11:34 am

awww poo! That was from Angela aka pinkgeek.
~Angela

Start date: 3/21/04
195.5/159.5/115
After a week off: Restart 6/7/04
164/154.4/115
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Postby Starloser63 » April 1st, 2004, 11:45 am

YEA ANGELA!

Thank you. That is what I'm talking about! Some positives peppered in. ;) I am so glad it has gotten better for you! I wish you would have put that under you own subject so everyone would read and congratulate you. But big hugs you are a dear! I know we will do this and I know everyone is cheering for everyone else.

I am glad you are in this group!

Hugs,
Susan
Through Christ all things all possible.
Susan F
246/216/150
3/23/04 2nd x
First Goal 199
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Postby Guest » April 1st, 2004, 1:32 pm

You know, I have to be up and pretend that everything is alright all the time even if it isn't. This so far as been the only place that I could actually come and vent and get support.

I realize no matter what, no matter where you are, people really only want the fake the stuff, including here.

good-bye to each one of you and good luck.
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Postby pinkgeek » April 1st, 2004, 2:10 pm

Ugh! I feel somehow responsible for the above message. I apologize if I have offended anyone. I felt badly because I was soooo down and depressed and not sure if I could take just one more shake for days 4-9 and I have been complaining the whole time, I thought that I owed it to the group to share a positive experience (now that things are better) after I read Susan's post. This is supposed to be a place where we can come to let our hair down and relax and let it all out when we feel weak or as an alternative to eating, a place where we can be ourselves and deal with the real feelings we have as we struggle on, a place where we can talk about our big ugly secrets and know that someone out there is listening and understands. I guess we have to take the good with the bad and the ugly. What drew me to this group was that those that were having problems could come here and talk about them and the rest of the group pitched right in and did some cheerleading to bring that person up and help them carry on. It wasn't because everyone was perfect and the diet was perfect and positive results, results, results were the only topic. The issues and bad feelings and fears showed the more human side of Medifast. I still think that is the case and I apologize again to the person who posted above (I hope it isn't you Tami, I feel badly about whoever it is, but especially Tami because you just went thru such a bad time last night). Please do not hold the above post against me. Come back to us :(
~Angela

Start date: 3/21/04
195.5/159.5/115
After a week off: Restart 6/7/04
164/154.4/115
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Postby Carrie » April 1st, 2004, 2:10 pm

Susan,
Sounds like you're having a tough day. When I'm up everything is rosier, and when I'm down everything around me seems more negative too.

We all handle things differently. Some of us need to come and vent and get the negative stuff out. Some of us don't or do it other ways than this forum. Besides just the tremendous stress of trying to change very ingrained habits, we are also dealing with the lack of wild blood sugar swings, and getting by without our 'drug' to numb us. This stuff is gonna happen. We've also had a lot of newbies starting lately, and those first days are hell on wheels. I thought some VERY dark thoughts during those days, but I wasn't brave enough to share them.

I see people venting, and I also see people pushing them to keep trying, and encouraging them. Today I am able to focus on the positive aspect of it, tomorrow, maybe not.

We are all going to have ups and downs, and it's the downs when we especially need to be able to talk to someone ..... if there's noone there we might be able to talk ourselves into quitting, and that would be a shame.

(or someone like our 'guest' poster can use it as an excuse to quit)

Focus on the encouragement being given, and let it encourage you too. I also find that when I respond to someone having a tough time, all the things I type are going into my head too, and I'm bolstering myself at the same time.

Hugs to you Susan, I hope things get cheerier looking for you.
Carrie
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby elle4nelly » April 1st, 2004, 2:24 pm

Susan, I agree with you that some days this forum turns into an endless sea of tears and defeat. I even have thrived on other people whining. There's been days where I read so many post about fears, and food demons and failures that I told myself" Nelly girl, you don't have a big problem compared to many others in this forum" and I feel compassion for others and remind myself that I have no excuse to fail given that my food demons are far smaller than many others! But Carrie put everything in perspective in a really beautiful way. There's no right or wrong here. People just react differently. I gain strengh from reading these posts even though some days I feel like there's just too much upset and guilt going on...

We are all human after all...perhaps if our guest who just quit understood that she's stick around because none of it is personal, just human emotion!

Nelly
Final Restart on Dec 18th
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Postby Jims Chick » April 1st, 2004, 2:51 pm

SUPPORT: Lending assistance to one failing or falling

SUPPORTER: One that supports or acts as a support

SUPPORT GROUP: A group of people with common experience and concerns who provide emotional and moral support for one another.

SUPPORT HOSE: Elastic stockings


I guess if we were all always in a happy place we wouldn't need this forum...and if this was easy.....none of us would be here anyway. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way and people are all different. Maybe if hearing about someones weight loss struggles, (because that is just what this is for most of us - A STRUGGLE ) brings you down then maybe a general forum section can be set up for those things that don't involve the realities of this struggle. There is nothing wrong with sharing our tough times and helping each other up.
just my feelings
Julie
"I can do all things through Christ"

Start Date: January 10, 2004
243.5 / 218 / 140
25.5 pounds gone forever
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10 cents.

Postby explorthis » April 1st, 2004, 3:21 pm

I gotta toss in a few pennies here. Whiners or not, this is the place to tell it all, weather happy, sad, euphoric, or desperate.

Susan, weather there is whining or not, this is the way it is. It is called freedom of speech. As you progress, and as you see others progress, you start seeing/feeling a transformation, the old uncomfortable person, sheds the old ways, and transforms into a different mind set, a different way of life, a new life. How do I know? Look at me, look at Jeanette, and look at Tami (sorry if I left any names out – making a point) tell me they are not mirroring a happy place. Some folks breed on negativity, some bask in happiness. Either way, this is the place for ALL of this, not ½ of one, or ½ of the other. I am not condoning your message, but no matter the person, this is the way they react, each differently. We need to be there for them, happy or sad.

Nellie said it, this is not personal. This is the place to speak your mind as you need to. Our “guest” as Carrie said used this as an excuse to quit. Not everyone can do this program. It is mentally challenging, for some, and it is not for everyone.

Angela, how can you possibly for a second think you’re responsible for this “guest” quitting? This is a cop out, a way out. We do not know who it is; weather a regular family member, or a phantom poster. You cannot take responsibility for someone here quitting. You keep sharing what’s in your heart, just the way you have been. No more, no less.

Folks, again, this is not magic. There is not a Houdini wand magically going to come down from what ever God’s heaven you believe in, and take the weight away. Who said “God help’s those that help themselves”? Well this has to be true. Medifast is only an assistant to the tools you already have. It still cannot happen without you. Y-O-U. You are making this possible. You can succeed if you want to. Excuses come, and they go. Mistakes happen. We all make errors in judgment, weather speaking an ill word, or eating a whole box of Medi-bars (Tami) Truth be told, Medifast is again OUR LAST STOP. It works. Prove me wrong, (within reasonable doubt) and I will personally refund your money, and I don’t even have a stake in Medifast, except for the fact it works.

Sigh…… this is it. Stick with it. Make no excuses. Take no prisoners. LOSE IT FOREVER!

-Mike

P.S. - I am not wearing "Support Hose" !!
Was 337/223 is goal (about 40 to go)
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Postby Jims Chick » April 1st, 2004, 3:48 pm

Mike...I'm glad you're not wearing support hose....but it was still a visual image I didn't need right now
"I can do all things through Christ"

Start Date: January 10, 2004
243.5 / 218 / 140
25.5 pounds gone forever
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Postby explorthis » April 1st, 2004, 4:38 pm

Jims Chick wrote:Mike...I'm glad you're not wearing support hose....but it was still a visual image I didn't need right now


Actually (hahahaha) it was a 2-fold comment...

1. Create a little "levity" to "support" the board. Heaven, and my hairdresser knows I need support somewhere!

2. Create a mental image of Guido in hose (yikes - still the queen size) and thus creating a diversion to any food items you might be craving.

Always here to help!!

Hose-a
Was 337/223 is goal (about 40 to go)
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Postby TamiL » April 1st, 2004, 9:53 pm

Hey Guys...No worries from me..Im still here and NOT GOING ANYWHERE!! I wasnt the Mystery "guest" who signed in to say goodluck...I would never leave here....I need you all too much!! Good or bad days...good or bad posts...people in good spirits or bad..having good or bad shakin days..no matter what..Im in this with all of you for the long haul...you aint getting rid of me..no one offends me here..no matter what you post...you all have a peice of something that I relate too...you all have hearts of gold here...weather you are posting something uplifting or down right depressing..your posting that for your own reasons cuz you may just need to type it out...your feelings...and as long as they are your TRUE feelings...then nothing to be ashamed of as far as Im concerned!! I fell down again...and yes...I had a hard night...but NOTHING would keep me from here...and getting right back up...im a fighter...and I will make it to my goal...with the rest of you....we are not quitters....and for the mystery guest....I hope you come back to us...dont quit or give up cuz of a post that was asking for postive when they needed it...we are all here to support each other...not desert this forum or each other when things may get sticky or too much....
have no fear...Tami is here...to stay..with all my little blessings

hugs to you all and thank you all for your posts....
you truly are awesome!!
Tami
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IF YOU BELEIVE!!!

Medifast RESTART 13 March 09
150/my goal weight is 130
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Postby Starloser63 » April 2nd, 2004, 8:12 am

Okay I never wanted anyone to stop coming to the group for support! I just thought there had to be good days or small victories among all the struggles. I don't want anyone to quit and don't want anyone to only post positives, or "the fake stuff". As I said in my original post I find myself mostly posting struggles. Maybe it is just me, and then I am sorry I posted my original post.

I am truly sorry that I didn't think more about my post before posting it. Please do not give up on you plans or on the board. God knows that is not what I intended. I will be more aware of what I'm saying in the future, or I'll run my posts by one of our more eloquent writers.

I did not intend harm here. I hope there is no hard feelings. I still need everyone of you.

I am truly at a loss here. Now I ... I just don't know. :cry:

Take Care and have a shaking day!
Susan F
Through Christ all things all possible.
Susan F
246/216/150
3/23/04 2nd x
First Goal 199
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Postby Carrie » April 2nd, 2004, 8:26 am

Susan.

It's ok. You're ok.

The fact is that you said something that probably all of us have THOUGHT at one time or another. I have. Some days I want to come on here and just find a ton of 'this is so easy, I've lost 100 pounds in 3 days and I feel great' posts so that I can disillusion myself from the HARD REALITY of what we are doing. And the days when there is frequent talk of struggling ...... well .... that's hard to read ..... because I know I'm having the same struggles, fears, doubts, anxieties, and anger and sometimes I just don't want to think about it.

Yes, we will have good days. Sometimes a bunch of em in a row. But we are struggling to make significant changes in our lives and that is a daunting, difficult challenge.

We need to share our success and our failure because it all creates a collective intention to keep working at losing this weight. And we need to be here to pick each other up and we need to see each others success to give us hope.

But don't for one moment think that a post of yours could make another person quit. They may try and pass the blame, but what really happened is that they found the excuse they were looking for and took it.

You are fine, you haven't done anything wrong. We're still here for you.
Carrie
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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