The Dark Side loses its grip... and I eat some crow.

Post your weight loss successes or failures here...:)

The Dark Side loses its grip... and I eat some crow.

Postby BerkshireGrl » February 6th, 2005, 12:39 pm

Ok, so here it is a week after I posted my big decision to go back to Weight Watchers. And I am about to eat some crow! Spidey, this one's for you.

I had stopped following Medifast 100% back on December 12th, and never really got back into it all the way. I halfheartedly would eat my MF oatmeal in the morning, have my three shakes at work (looking all diligent to my coworkers), then pig out at night. Not surprisingly, I wasn't losing. I went up and down on the scales, from 192 on December 6, to 203 on December 18. Then I bounced around from about 195-200 for a couple months. Going nowhere. :uhuh:

Somehow I got it in my head that this Medifast thing just was not working for me. I mean, hey, obviously, I couldn't STAY on it right, so why waste my time and money? It made financial sense to go back to WW. I figured I lost 56 pounds on it before... so why not? I could even do it at home with my old books for free.

Yesterday I wrote Spidey a long PM, explaining my choice oh-so-rationally, and thanking him for his care and concern. But I was a strong person, I could do this on my own, I didn't need MF. I wasn't giving "bogus" excuses. I was really a stronghold of intellectual might ;)

So last night I was writing up my grocery list for today's shopping. All the fruits and vegetables and soups for lunch, veggie burgers, etc. It looked so healthy and normal on paper.

Then I read some reviews online for frozen dinners. Hmm, those sounded good, I should get some of those too. Then I realized at 9 pm I was REALLY hungry. So did I have some leftover MF oatmeal and go to bed? Nah! I tore into some string cheese (240 cals), a box of low-fat Triscuits (240 cals), 2 Balance bars (420 cals), and a Diet Pepsi to wash it down. A little bedtime snack of 900 calories. :brickwall:

This morning, I was looking over my list of chores for today, and stuck grocery-shopping at the top. Then I read the backlog of posts here. I saw Hawaiiwhatnot's incredible new photo set with Hoss the Harley ;) I read how you all are losing so well... I saw how Shrink has come so far and she started at the same time I did yet has lost 3 times what I have. :oops: (Go Shrink!)

A little voice in my head was starting to pipe up. I looked over my budget again. Ok, so I was going to be short about $100 if I bought another 4 weeks of Medifast. I could work 4 hours overtime on a Saturday twice a month and make that up. 8 hours a month was not much of a sacrifice... come on now!

Then my little brain did some more computing. Ok, say I went back to Medifast, with my old gung ho enthusiasm? If I was on it 100% from February through June? I projected at my old loss average of 3 pounds a week, that I would be done in mid-June. That would be about $500. Gee, was it worth $500 to be at my goal and more to the point, be super healthy? To not have struggled with backsliding and guilt and anguish... or hunger? To have my cholesterol be finally below 200? :idea: The lightbulb went on over my dim little brain.

Uh... HECK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! :yay:

I have Seen The LIGHT! :lol: And it is shining out of a plastic shaker jar!

Why mess around right now with grocery shopping? With "real food"? Obviously, I DO NEED the Medifast ease, the hard-core rules and discipline to keep my butt in line. A big old butt kick by Spidey took a bit to, uh, kick in, but it did.

At first, I thought he was being a big meanie :3head: and I thought, hey, I'm a grown-up, and I can make my own choices buster! Get off my back!

But then like slowly dripping water on a stone, it started to wear away what were in fact, my foodie excuses. I remembered WHY I lost weight successfully on Weight Watchers before... because I had someone cooking regular meals for me (Thanks, Mom! heh!) and of course I couldn't binge eat or drink when I was living at home (1999-2001) due to the constant presence of the parental units.

When I moved out in October 2001, I weighed 170. Kinda heavy, but not bad. 12 pounds over my WW range limit. 1 year later, I was up to 185. Another year later, I hit 200. Then ANOTHER year later, this past October, guess what? I was at 216. Do you see a pattern?

I was CONSTANTLY gaining. Sure I had my little ups and downs. I would get all excited if I went under 200. But then I'd boing back up again.

Then this past October, I got scared. I saw the writing on the wall. I was getting really big. Bigger than I had ever been before. I was struggling to even walk up one measly flight of stairs at work. Do you know how embarassing it is to come out of the stairwell in front of your coworkers after 12 steps up and be PANTING for air? To have your hips and knees ache? And I was only 33. I needed some serious help!

In my desperation, I came across the name of Medifast, and I thought this is my ticket to thin. TAKE IT SISTER!

So I did, and wow, did it work. The first three days were not pretty, but I got through it. Then it was so easy... I liked not going to the grocery store. I LOVED watching the scale drop almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. It was crazy! Who loses weight like this and feels great doing it?

Turns out I could. But then I got depressed over some bad news I got in December and ran right back to my old "friends" of pizza and wine - UGH! Did I find a lot of comfort in porking out and getting fatter? Nope. It's really creepy how your brain gets used to that numbness though! And whispers all the "right" things to you when you are depressed - "you deserve it" or "you know it will make you feel better" or "can't you taste it? mmmm!"

I got lost in this smoke and mirrors world for 2 months, and while I did not regain much, I was in limbo. Nothing good was happening. I had it in my power to get back in the groove and take care of my health, but I stayed in the dark, eating when and whatever I wanted.

But today... that little voice suddenly said "Dang girl, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF and FINISH THIS!" :x

I'm going to order more of my miracle Medifast tomorrow night.

Hey is there still an open seat on that train? ;)
Last edited by BerkshireGrl on February 6th, 2005, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Carrie » February 6th, 2005, 12:56 pm

Oh BG - put down that stringy ole crow and start shakin'.

It's a daily thang, girl, just keep workin' it.

Carrie
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby raederle » February 6th, 2005, 12:56 pm

Aaaaaalllways, Sarah! Welcome home.

:hug:
raederle

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High weight = 180
Reached goal (125) 3/27/05
New goal: 130
I'll reach it again, one day at a time
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Postby jene115 » February 6th, 2005, 1:02 pm

Sarah, I didn't respond to the other post because being new here, I didn't want to step on any toes. I understand about the money thing all too well. I make a really good salary, but all my credit cards are maxed out because I would buy things to make me feel better. On the CNN Money website there is a tool called The Prioritizer. You put in a set of goals and it put your goals side by side through the next 8-10 pages and you choose which of the two is the most important. Well, to make a long story short, weight loss kept coming up for me time after time. After a few months, I had to decide what a commitment to weight loss meant. I found MediFast and realized it was what I needed. Order your food online, no grocery shopping (YEA!). I figured I was spending more than that a month on food I would buy and let spoil in the fridge, lunches at work and fast food at night and what was that getting me - FATTER!

I made my first order and the food arrived last Wednesday. I'm starting my first day tomorrow. I placed my autoship order today with much trepidation. I pay for my MediFast with my debit card, so rather than going through all the bills and seeing if I would have enough to place this order, if weight loss is a priority for me, then ordering the food I need from Medifast has to be a priority too. It may be awhile before I realize that I eventually will save money because between lunches and fast food dinners, I was probably spending $10 a day or more.

I guess what I'm trying to say that making the commitment to lose weight via Medifast (or any other diet) also entails other things. I have to spend the money to get the food. I actually have the fear that I will get too worried about paying stuff and say I can't afford this anymore. But what's more important than our health?

I'm glad you decided to reboard the train. Sometimes it does take a good swift kick in the butt and tough love to get through to us. Whatever it takes, the important thing is you put yourself first. A few hours OT, whatever it takes.
Jen
03/01/08
"I'm stronger than my cravings!"
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Postby Karen » February 6th, 2005, 1:06 pm

Sarah.... Let me be the first to scoot over and share my seat on the train with you. When I started in Nov.... you and spidey were two that really made me feel I was onto the right road at last. Such inspiration! I looked forward to reading your posts everyday, they got me over many a speedbump. I was saddened when I saw you were leaving, but I wished you the best. Honestly, there are happy tears here now. You hang in there girl. There are people here who will root for you and will hold you up when need be (some may even give a nudge with their good hearted foot). I NEVER dreamed I could lose weight like this. I still miss my comfort food, but I get comfort from the foodies on here now. Folks on here are like good friends and family. In some ways, even better, everyone UNDERSTANDS our dilima (sp?). Welcome back Sara, good luck, tonight's MF toast will be to you! I am really glad to see you back here.
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Postby Karen » February 6th, 2005, 1:08 pm

ps don't eat crow, Sarah, it is NOT on the MF list of acceptable foods. Have a good thick and creamy shake instead! !
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Postby TamiL » February 6th, 2005, 1:08 pm

Hey Sarah
Glad you decided to Stick with Medifast....I too go through those crazy Ideas in my head about trying something else....that is only when I fall off the wagon...which latley isnt often...once you have a few weeks under your belt...I PROMISE You the cravings for food will lessen...you will be less hungry again..and you will be SOOOO glad you decided to stick with all of us!! ;)

OF COURSE THERE IS STILL A SEAT ON THIS TRAIN FOR YOU MY DEAR!! Spidey has been thru so much...his words are of wisdom..for those of us who are battling with senses from time to time!! thats what He and Mike and Nancy are here for!! to kick us in the butt when we need it...TOUGH LOVE!! ;)

Order some Bannana shakes if your a bannana fan...they are AWESOME!!! So shake off all the doubt start again.....were here for you!! and one more thing

GO PATRIOTS!!!! :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P
Tami
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IF YOU BELEIVE!!!

Medifast RESTART 13 March 09
150/my goal weight is 130
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Postby cplantho » February 6th, 2005, 2:20 pm

Welcome back, Sarah!

There's plenty of room here on the ol' train. I would be honored if you would sit next to me.

I totally understand about worrying about the expense of MF. Trust me, my bank account has made a huge sigh of relief since I started. I never realized just how expensive getting fatter and fatter really was. MF SAVES me money! I am grateful for the opportunity to fork over that money every week because I know I am getting something that will absolutely work! No crow needed, dear. We've all been there.
Christy
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Postby Marseilles » February 7th, 2005, 6:57 am

Hiya Sara!

Ive been in a bit of a fog since last Thursday, due to my beloved boy child passing his flu along to me and just saw this post this morning.

Welcome back, woman! SOOO good to have you back aboard!

No crow required, at all. We have missed you and look forward to your regular musings alongside us here again!!

YAAAAAY!!!!!!

-M.
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Clean out the cupboards and refrig.

Postby NE gal in South » February 7th, 2005, 9:53 am

Use what supplies you have until what your ordered arrives - get on autoship - and DECIDE TO STICK TO IT.

GERALD (a/k/a Spidey) - he tossed the food left over when he had no adult supervision and it was calling him and I have done it also, you can too!!!

I truly belive it is easier for those of us who live alone, just do it!!!
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Postby elle4nelly » February 7th, 2005, 12:28 pm

Sarah?

Your Post cracked me up!! Way 2 go girl! If we all stay focused no matter how hard it is ( And it is!!!) for 3 to 6 months we could all be 20 to 100 lbs thinner each! I know I'd be done for good. Having the 1st real thin summer in years!

Welcome back and keep the good work going!!

Nelly
Final Restart on Dec 18th
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Postby Mrsshrinkinglady » February 7th, 2005, 2:09 pm

Berk,
I am SO glad to see you back!!!
I know that we can all struggle at times, but this time you haven't let yourself believe the lines we all feed ourselves (along with all the bad foods)
You are making a stand and just do one day at a time by planning out exactly what you are going to eat and when.
Thanks for all your kind words towards me and let me just say

GO BERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cleader: :cleader:

Hugs,
Shrink aka Mary
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Postby RavenKat2 » February 8th, 2005, 6:03 am

Hey gorgeous!

I didn't see this thread until today. YAY YOU!!!!!

Kat
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*new id for inspiration*
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Postby Nancy » February 8th, 2005, 11:43 pm

Howdy Doody, Berkster ~

:shock: :shock: WHERE have I been?

:x Sheesh! I need Mediprompt...sorry I missed your CROWing and just want you to know that I am SOOOOOOO glad you are back here, Girl! :bouncie:

Now I can finally crawl out from under my bed - I have been devastated over you and Dutch. I mean it.

Totally bummed, nearly cheesecaked out over you two.

I felt like I wanted your success more than you did and your decision bugged the puckies out of me because there is NO WAY you can eat this good on less than $10 a day! No Way! Tally your grocery list!

Remember, People, I had 5 shakes a day for almost all of my weight loss journey - no Lean and Green - some other Medifast foods in place of some of the shakes, but shakes primarily for 7 months. $10 a day, zippo meal prep time - virtually zippo clean up time - it was the cheapest and best I've ever eaten in all my life!

Oh, Berk, I am thankful you saw the Medilight in your Shaker Jar - from the thinny bottom of my heart, welcome back, Little Darlin' and let's get 'er done! :hi5:
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels...
The Formerly FLABulous and Now very Fabulous
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Postby Marseilles » February 9th, 2005, 6:13 am

Once again:

YAAAAAY BERK!!!

You are SO worth doing this for yourself!!!

:)
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