The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[RavenKat]

The honeymoon is over.... uh, the gild is off the lilly.

The 190's no longer float my boat. I have been super-pleased with 191-194 the last month and a half (2 ?) but recently I haven't felt as skinny or as satisfied with my accomplishment as I did.

What's the cure? DUH!!!! Yesterday I began my full fast.

Up until I felt dissatisfied, I kept telling myself I SHOULD get back to full fasting, that I SHOULD want to lose the rest of my weight - but that argument didn't work for me. I was happy where I was and didn't want to be guilted into a regimen that takes every ounce of effort I can muster. Hence, I didn't do it. I even was told by a friend and her family that any more weight lost and I would look gaunt. They gushed all over me and it felt great while they did it, but I felt flabby and fat starting the next day or so.

Although I haven't waivered more than a couple of pounds up or down, I found myself eating more crap than I should. Yes, salad is a good choice for lunch, but cookies are definitely NOT a good choice for dinner. Once that started happening I got scared.

Plus, my clothes still fit! I definitely liked the shrinking-out-of-my-clothes on a semi-weekly basis. What was "skinny" a month ago is just me now. That makes me wonder....how long after you reach goal weight does the accomplished feeling last? I mean, how long can you tell people you lost 80 pounds? 10 years? And why should it depend on how long you can brag about it?! I find myself disappointed that the people at my current job have never seen me above this weight. They think I always weighed 191. Heck, I could have made up the whole MF story!!!

Yeah, I'm nuts.

Anyway, I'll be weighing in on Sunday. See ya'll there!!!!

[parrotmom]

Ah, RavenKat, you've hit the nail on the head! How to enjoy being losing weight and staying thin, once the *high* of losing loses its allure! Losing is fun, losing is sexy, and you can ride that feeling of excitement for months. I know, I've done it. Got all the way down to 140, garnered compliments for weeks (even months, if I hadn't seen someone in awhile), but then ... eating right seemed boring. Not getting compliments all the time seemed boring. Exercising *certainly* seemed boring! And I started to ... nibble. Pick. Sneak. At food. First, a little extra at mealtimes. Then a bit more between meals. The a LOT more between meals. And my lovely 140lbs. turned into 196lbs in about 2 years.

So I'm back in the Medifast boat, slurping my shakes, just like you and everyone else here. I guess what I'm saying is, having been to goal and watching it slip away over 2 years, is that you gotta find some way, while you're losing the weight and certainly afterward, to keep it *important* to you. I'm still working on it. I think it'll be a lifelong quest.

Right now, what's making things fun for me is, of all things, a "Core Training" class I'm taking. It's torture (I'm exaggerating a bit ), but for the first time in my life, I'm getting ab muscles! So find that "thing" that makes it worthwhile for you to slurp those shakes and stay compliant. It won't always be compliments. It's eventually gotta come from within.

Peace, Love & Medifast,

[DutchChoc]

Welcome aboard the train trying to make it to Thinsville, RavenKat and parrotmom. Great issues and great thinking there -- and I'm rather sure I can't answer your question about the feeling of accomplishment. Seems almost certain that having something to continue striving for is an important component, and yet some people I know (few, yes) who are in good shape work years on end to keep all of that, often in the absence of further improvements. SOMEHOW they're happy with what they've achieved and know it's good even though nothing outwardly miraculous is tickling them. That's a to-hope-for, in a way. The end of the road seems to be about safeguarding the package, as obviously we can't keep stunning people nor stunning ourselves.

But in the meantime, it's exciting that you want to see more change. Welcome to the full fast!

[fedup]

Yup Ravenkat, I know what you mean. About 2 years ago I got down from around 210 pounds to 170. Everyone gushed, I LOVED it, and it was the best I had looked in a long time. (Never mind I still had a lot of cute clothes in my closet that were 1 or 2 sizes too small to fit back into.) I knew I wanted to lose 15 or so more pounds, but was "content" to "take a break!"

And that was fine, but for me the break turned into 2 years later gaining back 20 pounds of it. Actually, I thank God that I didn't gain back all 40. The way I was eating, it wouldn't have surprised me. When I decided to do MF I was scared to get on that scale and see all my previous hard work evaporated. I would do the classic "eat it all up today 'cause tomorrow your going back on your diet" thing. Only tomorrow never came... until now :!:

So I know how those "breaks" can get ya! Maybe it works for some people, but I sure now know I can't do "breaks."

[DutchChoc]

As I think about this more, what it brings to mind is a mindset that I had for several decades that wasn't overly suitable.

By that, I mean that I got up to 185 by my senior year in HS, after starting as a freshman at 125. Miserable teen years, here -- lots of social isolation and family isolation. Kind of like being warehoused -- that's how my life seemed in relationship to other family members in the house (mom & dad).

Because of that, I got quite used to thinking that 150 was a fine weight for me. IN FACT, 150 is still pretty big for me!!! But for years I thought it was OK/ "good". YES, smaller than 185, but gosh, still not what I was wanting to look like, in a way, and yet I didn't even realize that consciously, I guess. It rarely dawned on me that I could or perhaps even should weigh somewhat less.

[RavenKat]

Ugh. Almost three weeks from my original post and I'm still floundering. To be honest, I am having a massive pity party about all aspects of my life (none of which are bad) - I watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition last night and basically cried through the whole two hours! Double Ugh! Depressed much? I feel alone, listless, bored and sad.

I had shakes on Saturday until about 2 p.m. when my head felt like it was going to crack open and I used that as an excuse to eat. Before then I was feeling GREAT! I was sure this was the time I was going to get back on track. Uh huh. I find it amusing that simply deciding to do it isn't enough - I have to "Decide" to do it a million times a day. Of course, if I had REALLY decided to do it, in the way I had decided back in April that I was doing it, then there wouldn't have been any crossroads throughout the day.

Where does that come from???? Carrie needed to get mad - maybe that's what I need. I just can't seem to generate any feeling except blah. This isn't a 'tell us your mental problems forum' but I don't have anyone else to talk to. At least I feel that way right now.

Two shakes down today. Chugging water.

Time to go read the inspirational posts......

K

[Nancy]

Kat,

It does get boring some days, kind of like ironing, going to the market, etc. Not thrilling events but tings ya just gotta do.

Like having a mammogram some days, isn't it? You really don't want to undergo it but it is something that must be done to assure good health.

Let's go for today, Kat.

You've done well to be chugging a jug of water already and to have had a couple of shakes already. Yippy!

You have worked really hard in the past and we know that you can do it again. You've got it in you, Darlin' I just know it!

Let's go!

[Carrie]

Sweetie,

I'm sorry you're still wandering in the wilderness.

It is indeed a difficult task to motivate ourselves to change. When I was off the program I had to get myself to a place of caring more about losing more weight than I did about eating. Caring more about doing something positive and self-esteem affirming instead of my old destructive ways.

I wish I had a step by step instruction manual but the best I can say is that I tried to think my way through it and make sense of the countless days I started MF and was off by the evening. It wasn't about the food. It was about the faulty thinking I was doing. I had fallen back into thinking that food was comforting me, serving some purpose in my life. And I was unconsciously believing that fat and food protected me from the jungle out there. It was also laziness - it's flat out easier to eat and eat than it is to try and change, and I had gotten to a place of not looking *that* bad. So my edge of desperation was gone.

But after several weeks of messing around I realized that I was just wasting time. My life was passing and I was not moving any closer to what I really wanted. All the food I was eating wasn't doing me any favors.

Bottom line - I want this for myself. I want to lose weight more than I want to eat. (And the times when that isn't true I tell myself it's just a passing impulse and point myself towards the long term goal.) Kat, when I ate my way up to 266.50 pounds I was expressing self-loathing and crying out for help. I was sacrificing my health - both mental and physical - for a moments comfort of eating. Like an addict I used my drug to cover up the pain and hide from this world. And my weight further eroded my self-esteem and made me bitter.

I have decided that I love myself. I have decided that I will act in a way that expresses respect for myself - body and soul. This means being physically healthy. This means feeding my body nutritiously. It means working EVERY DAY to change the old habits and make new ones. Sometimes it is hard, but if you make a conscious effort to create one success - and then build on it - you can get something started. Focus on what you REALLY WANT for yourself now and down the road. If you eat whatever your heart desires today - will that bring you closer to your long term goal - your heart's desire - or will it bring further away? Is the moments pleasure/comfort of eating worth more to you than reaching your goal is?

Do you have a defined goal? Do you know where you want to be?

Think your way through this. Then step up to the plate and get back in the game. You deserve it.

Carrie

[Nancy]

Amen, Sistah! You are getting it!
re:

It means working EVERY DAY to change the old habits and make new ones. Sometimes it is hard, but if you make a conscious effort to create one success - and then build on it - you can get something started. Focus on what you REALLY WANT for yourself now and down the road. If you eat whatever your heart desires today - will that bring you closer to your long term goal - your heart's desire - or will it bring further away? Is the moments pleasure/comfort of eating worth more to you than reaching your goal is?

Do you have a defined goal? Do you know where you want to be?

Please, Folks! Make that list of all the reasons why you want to do this – then read your list daily – sometimes more often! Ya gotta stay focused. When your reason why is bigger than your fears, you will stick with the program!

[RavenKat]

I wish I had a step by step instruction manual but the best I can say is that I tried to think my way through it and make sense of the countless days I started MF and was off by the evening. It wasn't about the food. It was about the faulty thinking I was doing. I had fallen back into thinking that food was comforting me, serving some purpose in my life. And I was unconsciously believing that fat and food protected me from the jungle out there. It was also laziness - it's flat out easier to eat and eat than it is to try and change, and I had gotten to a place of not looking *that* bad. So my edge of desperation was gone.

Yep. Food is my security blanket right now. I feel alone but food is there. And I am being mega-lazy! SO much easier to turn into food-zombie than to tell my husband that I feel alone, or call my best friend and tell her I miss her, or talk to my mom about her health. Wow. I have some issues here. Yeah, the losing weight was(is) definitely coming in second to numbing myself. *sigh* I think I have a few conversations in my future....

Thanks Carrie & Nancy.

K
p.s. one of my cats looks just like this

[Nancy]

re:

Yeah, the losing weight was(is) definitely coming in second to numbing myself. *sigh* I think I have a few conversations in my future....

What can we do to help you to refocus?

Do you need to start a new post just for you and your weight loss daily journal and report?

[Nancy]

this is truly what it is all about:

When I was off the program I had to get myself to a place of caring more about losing more weight than I did about eating. Caring more about doing something positive and self-esteem affirming instead of my old destructive ways.

What do you want more?

I just know that nothing tastes as good as thin feels!
It is not easy. It takes much effort.

[RavenKat]

In lieu of starting a new thread just for me - which I find intimidating - I thought I'd let you know how yesterday went and how today is going so far. I literally cried ALL through yesterday. My neighbor and I email back and forth during the day and she sent me pictures of two of my rescue kitties saying, "We love you mommy". You think THAT didn't make me sob at my desk?! I also called my best friend who moved away and we cried on the phone together. She is going through some tough stuff and moving away is affecting her too. I feel better having talked to her. Still miss the h*ll out of her though.
I had my 5 shakes and an oatmeal yesterday. The last shake was a blender creation with banana davinci syrup added. MAHvelous! Today there was a plate of brownies by the printer (thanks) which I have avoided and a co-worker asked me to lunch to which I replied: "I have my shakes but I'll go with you." She apparently didn't find that too appealing - oh well.
Feeling strong at the moment. I need to keep on alert for those feelings of "I've got this solved" - they inspire me to make bad choices.....

Hopefully I can re-join the New Year's resolution and SPidey's fat exchange soon. I'm not feeling up to that pressure right now. A day at a time, right?

Thanks for listening.
Kat

[Nancy]

Aw...Little Darlin' we are sorry that you have had such a rough go of it.

Sometimes when we can cry we can rid ourselves of those pent-up feelings and once our eyes return to normal and the face puffage goes away, we feel a whole lot better!

here's a nice comfy hug for you from your Medipal

Let's just grip our water bottles and have a chug

I am doing all right today - am very stressed about the Newsletter deadline...need to take my elderly Mom shopping today and rake leaves for my parents. but I am prepared with shakes to go!

Ta ta, my thinnin' Friend!

[Carrie]

Hey Babycakes!

Way to go with yesterday and today. Concentrate on this little roll you're on. This is a beginning, more than enough to build success on.


You're dealing with a lot of stuff right now. FEEL your sadness, and make up your mind that medicating with food really doesn't help.

I'm very proud of you sweetie!

Carrie