In the beginning... (Levity)

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In the beginning... (Levity)

Postby explorthis » June 3rd, 2004, 9:01 pm

I got a chuckle out of this, hope you do also!

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables. He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Queen and Baskin Robbins.

And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?"

And Man said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one, too...with sprinkles."

And low and behold they gained 10 pounds.

And so God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.

And Woman went from size 2 to size 14. So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man packed on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!"

And Satan said: " It is good."

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery. Satan chuckled and created The Health Care System.
Was 337/223 is goal (about 40 to go)
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Postby Carrie » June 4th, 2004, 5:37 am

LMAO

Now I *understand* how all this happened!

It seems *SO* clear now!
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby explorthis » June 4th, 2004, 6:16 am

It seems *SO* clear now!


Oh, you are *SO* patronizing me.
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Postby Carrie » June 4th, 2004, 6:58 am

Me???? Patronize you?????? Naaaaaah, never.
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby elle4nelly » June 4th, 2004, 10:54 am

:?

Huh??

So which one of these 2 guys created " The Dieting game" ?

I am soooo confused at times, dieting often feels to me like " A torturous never ending path to Eden". :(

Nelly
Final Restart on Dec 18th
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Postby explorthis » June 4th, 2004, 11:24 am

So which one of these 2 guys created " The Dieting game" ?


No, your confusing this with the "dating game" !!!

God created Man, Satan created the urge.

Mc'd's created the splurge,

and..........Medifast created the purge
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Postby Guest » June 4th, 2004, 12:36 pm

:D

I really like that!
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Postby Guest » June 4th, 2004, 12:38 pm

:lol:

That was Nelly...forgot to sign in!
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Postby explorthis » June 4th, 2004, 1:11 pm

That was Nelly...forgot to sign in!


DOH!

I think Alzheimer's is an aquired trait, not one given by either of the 2 above.
Was 337/223 is goal (about 40 to go)
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