The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Tawanda]

Jo, I love being around my children and grandchildren, but I've found this week very tiring and I want my time & my quiet back. I feel awful saying that because I do love babysitting, cuddling and seeing the little ones often. It is just tiring 24/7 after a string of days. I've become quite selfish of my free time as I've gotten older it seems.

Weight is the same and I looked back at my weigh-in history that I keep. I've been playing around, within a pound, for 7 days now. That has meant, in the past, that the scale will move within the next few days and it usually drops at least 1.5#. I hope that happens or I'm going to have no loss this week or a very teeny one.

Well, back to babysitting. They are fussing and I need to focus on them.

[holberry]

Tawanda, sniff I read that you dont like fencing and cutting down brush, you probably dont like cleaning stall either!!!!
Ok Im weird, I know it.
Take care of your back this weekend and have some fun as well.
hugs.
hb

[SuzyQ66]

Hi Tawanda - glad to see that you are still going strong. I hope you have some down time soon to take a deep breath and relax. Maybe you should try a bubble bath....I love taking baths in my jacuzzi tub....it is so relaxing...plus with how freezing you become on MF....it helps me to warm up. I have always taken a lot of baths but since MF they are increased...LOL!!

[Tawanda]

I've been outside mowing (and sweating). While mowing & sweating I've been thinking about Medifast, my time on the program, how I'm doing, how this forum has become a fun community for me to interact in while doing Medifast. As I thought about how I'm feeling, how the pounds are coming off, the clothing I've shrunk out of (how nice to say instead of 'the clothing I've grown out of') and how some days are just a bit more of a struggle to resist the temptations of eating off program foods.

I've done well with staying on the program as it has been outlined. Not all days have been easy although most of them have been because of the results that I'm seeing so rapidly.

I then thought of all of the people who've said 'hello' here at the forums since I've begun posting and how many are no longer posting. I try to let people know that I'm thinking of them sometimes, believing that maybe that is all they need is to feel missed. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to go look up their journal or to think of words that might be helpful---or I think that what I do is coming across as lame. It has been mentioned a few times that the site seems to have a clique. I know that some of us talk to the same people quite a bit, but I don't believe it is cliquish (that doesn't look like it is spelt correctly, hopefully spell check will help me out--if not, hope you know what I'm saying even if I cannot spell ). I believe that as we write at this forum we find others that we can relate to in some way. Some people's words just make me wish to get to know them better. Some people's words make me wish to keep my distance. Some people relate things that I enjoy but I don't have any experience in how they are living their lives. Some people, just as in life away from the computer, don't make me feel all warm and fuzzy toward them. I'm sure that I bug some people with my frequent Pollyanna-ish talk......but this is who I am and I've pretty much given up on trying to be someone I'm not (thank heavens).

So.......for cliques, no, I don't see it, but I do see that there is a group that is verbal and active on the forums, who make a point to interact frequently and that may make things seem cliquish (there is that darn word again--and misspelt again, too) but isn't....it is just frequent 'talkers' get to know one another better.

So........if you are feeling left out of the conversations, then start talking with us! And if you don't get much feedback immediately, just keep talking!! Some days I feel like writing anything takes too much energy and some days my fingers are flying with stuff to say. You may catch most people feeling kind of dull witted for a few days and won't get much response.......but don't give up cause we get re-energized pretty quickly.

Another thing that I was thinking about (yeah, I did a lot of mowing and a lot of thinking---and sweating). I think there is a fine line between being supportive of someone going through a difficult time with the program and being enabling for off program eating. I'm not sure where that line is and I imagine it is one of those things that I may draw the line in one spot, the next person might think it goes in another spot and the third, fourth and fifth people might all draw the line elsewhere. So, it is a personal thing..........but I wonder if we shouldn't stop and really evaluate ourselves and how helpful we are being to each other when we say 'hey, it is Okay that you aren't compliant---'. Maybe a nicer way to help the person to strive harder to avoid temptation, would be to say 'I'll be thinking of you and really hoping that you can stick to program from now on....come here and talk with someone if you are feeling low, sad, lonely, tempted.....just don't eat'. Saying it is Okay to go off program is partially true.......it is Okay if someone choses not to be compliant. It is their money, their time and their life. But how much more helpful it would be to stretch out our hands to pull them up when they've fallen than to say 'yeah, dang it, you went off program but you made wiser choices than you could have'.

This is all my own opinion and maybe I shouldn't mow because then I think and maybe I should be turning my thinker off.

[holberry]

my goodness ms T. sounds like you needed some alone time and you had a good quality chat with yourself.
Im glad you have not changed yourself. You seem like a very compasionate, honest soul pollyanna is good as long as you dont get hurt,
hugs
hol

[nickieluv]

I think there is a fine line between being supportive of someone going through a difficult time with the program and being enabling for off program eating. I'm not sure where that line is and I imagine it is one of those things that I may draw the line in one spot, the next person might think it goes in another spot and the third, fourth and fifth people might all draw the line elsewhere.

You're right, Tawanda, this is always a sticky situation. Because you only ever know what someone is telling you online. Hopefully we are all painfully honest, but you never know for sure. I know that early on when I cheated, I made myself feel bad enough, and what I needed was for people to say that I was still valuable no matter what I ate or didn't eat. Then it morphed into my cheating as testing the program, and I needed to hear that compliance is an absolute. This last time, I didn't need anybody to say much of anything. I just needed to have my space, make my choices, and decide what was most important to me. So I think everyone should just give what they can, say what they believe will help and is true, and the recipient can take it or leave it as they see fit.

I'm glad you're happy with your progress and doing really well. You are one of my 'circle' of journals that I like to check in on - it is hard to break in to a new one, especially creature of habit that I am, but I second your emotion that all are welcome and you just have to keep being here, and you will find what you need.

[bikipatra]

Tawanda thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us. I am glad that you have tried to draw your own line in the sand. Because you do have experience being successful and being patient, and that is like gold. Except for a few people who are lucky enough that I feel close to like Nickie , I generally say "welcome back" after people come back from a slip. I am not anyone's mother and we all know the plan is 5-1-water. I guess some people would benefit from some more "tough love" but I don't want to scare someone off or overstep my bounds. On the other hand, if it hadn't been for people like Joleen who just told me I was plain wrong and making excuses, I do not know if I would weigh 164.5 pounds right now instead off 233 or more or would still be here. So I guess generally what I try to do is share my experience rather than advice. And all I know is that MF is a lot easier when you are compliant than when you are not, even during those long stalls. We get self-esteem by commiting esteemable acts and I believe compliance is one of them. So I felt immeasurably better being 3.5 lbs over ticker because of TOM than I would have over a twinkie binge. And it passed.

[dede4wd]

Tawanda,

I really enjoyed your post and feel the same way!

DeDe

[Serendipity]

So........if you are feeling left out of the conversations, then start talking with us! And if you don't get much feedback immediately, just keep talking!! Some days I feel like writing anything takes too much energy and some days my fingers are flying with stuff to say. You may catch most people feeling kind of dull witted for a few days and won't get much response.......but don't give up cause we get re-energized pretty quickly.

Yes! Please join in. It's such a burden carrying all of this chatter along with a few. The more the merrier. Do any of you know how quiet this forum used to be? Some days back when I first joined there would be no more than 10 posts.....and 5 of them were mine! It was a virtual grave yard here. So if you want to join in, please do.....all are welcome.

(and sweating).

I believe any sweating qualifies as exercise. I'm not sure, cuz I'm no expert. Maybe Robin will chime in here to verify. I assume you were mowing on a riding mower......ya wouldn't want to overdo.

I think there is a fine line between being supportive of someone going through a difficult time with the program and being enabling for off program eating.

I agree. I've been thinking about the mix of people here on the forum. Wow, we really have the full spectrum of opinions.....so depending on who is listening at the moment and who is speaking, we oughta hit it right sometimes, right? I agree that there is a fine line because of the nature of our overweight minds. I know that this overweight mind would not have endured playing with the program because being the queen of rationalization, I would have slipped right back to my old ways. Let's face it. We're all here because of a lack of discipline. Some of us find that we need to follow this strict plan to learn discipline. Others choose to follow a different path. Hopefully, we will all find success on this program in the safest, fastest way, but whichever way we choose, let the ending be the same.

[holberry]

Tawanda, you there!?
Maybe you are sleeping in on this overcast day. Or resting from the grandkids stay.
anyhow, hope you pop in today.
hugs
hb

[bikipatra]

Tawanda, you there!?
Maybe you are sleeping in on this overcast day. Or resting from the grandkids stay.
anyhow, hope you pop in today.
hugs
hb

Board has been slow all weekend. Holiday stuff I guess.

[Tawanda]

Hi HB, I'm here off and on I think I'm going to take a break from writing and just check the forums on occasion. I am feeling a bit blah over my weight loss being stagnant (9 days of playing with the same .5#-1#, but who is counting? ). I will stay on program as I'm 100% committed to getting my excess weight off (and keeping it off) with MF, but my mind is telling me that I'm fat (well, technically I am) and it has been a bit of a struggle to not begin feeling down about my lack of loss and not having my clothing feel looser for awhile. I was feeling so thin and light for awhile, but somehow I went back to feeling heavy and unattractive, especially when I look in a mirror---clothed or disrobed. There is so much more weight to lose in order to get rid of the rolls, donelapped fold (you know, the I 'done lapped over my belt' area) and just ick looking. I want to get 'er done, without wasting my time, my money and playing around. I think the quick weight loss in the first weeks set my silly mind up to believe that the pounds would continue to melt off and show a huge change continuously. When the weight and changes slowed, then that nasty mind of mine just began with its negative chanting. I'm spending my time reminding myself (and that nasty mind of mine) that I'm doing excellent, that this stall is temporary, that the pounds & inches are going to continue to come off and that my body's appearance will continue to improve/change. It is just a time of necessary positive self talk for me. I will win, I will continue and I will get to goal (and stay there!) of this I am sure---it is just learning new self talk along with keeping my focus. I get too impatient for visual results which isn't doing myself any favors.

I'll be around and probably won't be quiet too long......but I've got some 'stuff' to work out on my own.

[bikipatra]

I'll miss you but I know you are doing what you have to!

[Tawanda]

Good morning. Wasn't quiet for very long, now was I? I had a light bulb moment yesterday afternoon and figured out my sadness & odd thought processes that were hitting me these past couple days. Yesterday was the anniversary of my father's death. He died a slow & uncomfortable death from the ravages and treatment of advanced colon cancer. I held his hand as he passed from this life to the next and his diagnosis, treatment side effects and death threw me into the tailspin of depression where I gained 90+ pounds. During the 3 years that my father waged his war to live, I gained 30 of the 90+ pounds, and at his memorial service my uncle (dad's brother) said to me, in front of others, "what in the world have you done to yourself?!". That hurt deeply and so I took the hurt to a new level by the attitude of "I'll show you what in the world I can do to this formerly thin and fit body!". I didn't care anymore. The sadness was overwhelming and I saw how easy it was to die. I planned out how I'd end my life, time, method, etc. was chosen. I had the forethought to realize how this would affect my family (DH & children) so perhaps I truly wouldn't have done it.....but the turning point in changing my mind was that I went to a women's church retreat (I wasn't a joiner and do not know why I signed up to attend this one) and there, I realized how valuable I was to God--even if I had never felt valuable to my father (I probably was greatly loved by my dad, but he wasn't able or chose not to show that affection throughout most of my life). That retreat changed my thoughts of suicide and it drew me closer to God.....but it didn't stop the excessive eating nor the weight gain that went with the eating. I continued to gain another 60+ pounds over the years which brought another facet of depression.

There is so much emotional baggage that goes hand in hand with my excessive eating.....undoing the layers of it is some times surprising but necessary.

[queenielou]

Hi Tawanda,

I appreciate how much you share with us. I also appreciate you stopping my journal to check in on me. You know how we never know how what we say might affect someone else? Well the one line in your previous post - realizing how valuable you were to God - was powerful for me today. It's easy to forget how much we mean to God and to sometimes forget all of the things He has done for us when we were not even trying to help ourselves. I feel some shouting coming on! Seriously, I needed to be reminded in this moment about how valuable we are to God and what that means as far as the choices we make. Thank you for reminding me and thank God for that women's retreat that changed your course. You seemed to have learned so much from your father's illness and passing and I hope to use your resolve and understanding as an example when difficulties arise in my life.

Maybe the stall is a time for reflection. Whatever it's purpose, you will come through it skinnier Hope you have a wonderful day.