The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Tawanda]

Sorry it has been so long (once again) for me to stop by. Friday was a positive day in many ways and my daughter did get primary custody of the children. We're expecting the final divorce decree (in a few months) to make her the custodial parent, too. Life is still very busy/full and the stress level some days is so high that I've just wallowed in sugary junk. I did get my treadmill back out of the closet where I had to put it when the house was turned upside down (when they moved in with us). My hope is that I will jump onto the treadmill when things become too much for me mentally and emotionally....instead of me jumping into the cookie jar or the tub of ice cream.

I've lost 5.5# of the extra I had gained so getting closer to 147 again!! I don't know how it has happened (well, heck, I guess it might be because I'm chasing pre-schoolers pretty much all day long?)..

Today I babysat all 4 grands......

I'm buying stock in Calgon soon....................

Take me away.........................

[MyComplete180]

Just make sure it's Calgon after they leave, cause since you are a grandma, it's been a while, if you Calgon while they are near its....

KNOCK KNOCK Can I come in?

KNOCK KNOCK He hit me!

KNOCK KNOCK she took my doll!

KNOCK KNOCK I have to pee!

KNOCK KNOCK no I can't use the other, there is a Barbie in a boat in the other potty

KNOCK KNOCK Can I come in?

KNOCK KNOCK Are you done yet??????

[Tawanda]

Pfft!

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. He suggested that I find time to exercise to reduce the stress in my life........



Wish I had thought of doing that.





Life is moving along here..............same stuff, different day.

Strawberry crunch bars........not my fav.

Chocolate Mint......good.

[Karli]

Hey Tawanda, good to hear from you ! Wishing you the best .

[Tawanda]

Thanks Karli.

Well, my life sure has changed since early February.......

I'm working hard at getting these pounds off.....

Nothing new.......



Later!

[Lauren]

Hey, pretty lady! Just checking in to say hello and wishing you well!

I'm all over the forum today reminding people that this maintenance thing really does work, but I need some assistance. Keep pushing it, Miss T., and show them your continued successes, too!

XOXO

Lauren

[Tawanda]

Hi Lauren, thanks for checking on me. I've been lax about coming here to read (life out of control once again----constantly since February). My life is taken over by commitments and other people's needs. I handle the stress by tossing my hands in the air and then into the snack/sugary foods. Not good! My weight is still up over goal and that makes me very disappointed in myself.

I keep telling myself that instead of nuturing myself with food (that isn't nuturing ourselves when we eat out of stress) I would be much happier, healthier and proud of myself if I went to pound out some miles on the treadmill or other exercise equipment when life gets out of my control.

So......now to start doing that every day instead of only occasionally when the stress monster hits my life.

That is why I said " same stuff, different day".

I'm so sorry to not be offer support or encouragement to anyone here--hopefully I'll get a handle on myself (and how I respond to my life right now) then be back to offer something to others.

Sending my best to all.

Tawanda

[nickieluv]

It's easy to know the right things to do - much harder to do them in the heat of the moment. I was reading the other night about something called a 30-day trial. You pick one change, and do it every day for 30 days. Since it sounds like you have stress almost every day, maybe you could try toughing it out and doing something physical when you really feel like reaching for comfort foods, and possibly after 30 days it would become more of an automatic response.

I'm sorry things are still crazy for you. Hopefully there have been moments of sunshine as well. We are always here as friendly eyes and ears if/when you need to vent.

[Stihl]

Wishing you continued luck in maintenence land

[worldawind]

Hi Twanda, it has been ages for me since I've been around. After going from 195 to 140 and keeping it off I now have to lose 15 that I put on.

Life has been complicated and it sounds like you also have issues. Hopefully we will be able to lose what we need to and life will get a bit more stable.

Norma

[Tawanda]

Hello everyone! (that is the cheating way to say hello, instead of chancing messing up and not saying hello to someone who said 'hi' to me. )

I've been on program...........

When I wasn't fooling around and choosing to be off program........

Each day---I was on program for a little while.

My maintance weight goal is far behind me. Further than it was before, unfortunately. I am debating whether or not to remove my maintance medallion-----I failed to keep all my weight off and to stay at (or near) my goal weight. To me (who beats myself up often), that isn't maintaining. But then, I tell myself, I am relearning how to treat myself and how to keep my appetite and weight in check. I have not given up on winning this war over the long term. I have failed in a few (quite a few) skirmishes......but I've not given up and I will not fail.

So........I'll continue to debate whether to tuck my tail and slap myself by removing the medallion, or if I'll just consider this weight regain as a big lesson (really big) in how to stay near the goal weight I've set for myself.

Did you notice that I'm avoiding mentioning a number? Oh yeah, I am. I'm ashamed of myself and wishing I could just stay in denial-land. But the truth of the scale is that this morning I hit a new high number...... 178# which puts me at 31# over goal. I do not consider 31# a small number, I do not consider 31# near maintaining and I do not consider 31# gained as acceptable.

So......I decided that what I'm doing each day works -------

It works to continue to gain weight.

So---today I am back on program. I am back to writing down every morsel that I consume. I am back to being nice to myself and making weight loss a priority instead of 'treating' myself constantly because I need something to eat to make life easier. Let me be honest-----eating crap (dang but I love Burger King food and sweets and pizza and ice cream and trail mix..........) is not making my life better nor easier. I still have all the same problems each day, the same stresses, the same thoughts.......and along with all of those hard things---I am also very unhappy with how I look, how I feel, the food choices I make and that my cute clothes don't fit.

Along with writing down everything I consume, I am writing down my water consumption, my measurements, I am going to keep a diary (of my thoughts, feelings, goals and successes), and I will make up a new ticker.

I will continue today to fight with myself over removing that stupid maintaining medallion.....I worked so hard for it, but I don't feel that I deserve to have it any longer. I'll probably remove it later today.

I've been in contact with a few people that were here when I was active on the boards. Two people have gained all their weight back. I feel horrible for them and realize how disappointed they must be in losing all the rewards of their hard work and dedication to themselves/the program. I don't want to go there. 31# regained is hard and horrible enough for me to deal with.

So, accountability is also one of the things I did before and it helped me.

That is my story.......I'm back to do it again and finish the battle.

TAWANDA!!!

[Karli]

Hi Tawanda, wow, thank you so much for writing in with such honesty ! I don't know how to explain what I feel that is worth, but think about how SLOW the boards have been and consider there's got to be a bit behind that !

When I came back a few months ago, I took off my pound club because I was not anywhere close anymore to how much I had lost before. And, removing it helped me feel like I was starting fresh and not just lugging around some extra weight of whatever my past was/is. Bottom line is, I feel it helped me. Obviously the whole thing with the medallion is up to you, but I don't think that whatever you decide should be about you putting yourself on some kind of whipping post. I think it's just about being honest with yourself, at least I personally feel that has WAY more value than "punishment" ... however my words may read to you, just know that it comes from me wanting very much for you to feel a kind of peace in being honest with yourself and knowing you can move forward. Whatever that is to you !

Anyway, keep your chin up and kick the fatts with a good ole' MF day today. You can do it !

[Tawanda]

Hi Unca!

Will you please change my weight loss club from 60 down to 30?

I hate doing it, but finally accepting my reality and taking responsibilty for my actions. (I'll send this request in a PM, too, in case you don't get an opportunity to keep up with all posts).

Tawanda

*****************

Karli, thanks for sharing your thoughts. It is appreciated and I very much like your quote!

I removed my medallion, I was going to leave it and just put that I was working on losing the regained pounds, but wanted to also have a ticker and it wouldn't allow me to have everything (it said my signature was too long). Thus the decision was made for me. I do feel it is the right and honest thing, for me to do, at this point.

[DogMa]

I agree with Karli, T. Do whatever you think is best. And welcome back, although I'm sorry about the circumstances. You did it before, though, and did a stellar job - so you know you can do it again.

[Unca_Tim]

Hi Unca!

Will you please change my weight loss club from 60 down to 30?

Gotcha T and welcome back.


You'll be back to where you were before you know it....