by Tawanda » February 1st, 2008, 11:24 am
Hello everyone.
Thank you for all who've left a note since I was last here. I'm struggling right now so am just keeping to myself. I have good days and horrible days. Yesterday was awesome, 100+ ounces of water and great with supplements. The day prior was horrible. Today isn't so good....but it is only 10 a.m. and I have the power to make the rest of the day turn around or go further down the tubes.
I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to food and the mean things I say to myself over my choices/actions. I don't figure I need to take anyone else down with me by reporting my struggles when they are consistently the same, day after day. I will get through this time and I will get to goal although lately I've considered MANY times just tossing in the towel and giving up. Of course I will not....but it does scare me a bit that I even consider it at this point. Amazing that food is such a crutch and that I consider it a soothing comfort when life is hard---when, in fact, it is the opposite. In the way that I've used food over the past 15+ years, it has not be a friend, a comfort nor healthy. Using food as my drug of choice has made life more difficult, less enjoyable in so many ways and down right dangerous to my long term health. If I am aware of all of this then why in the world do I still turn to it? Incredibly foolish!
So...I'm still here, I'm still fighting with myself but I am aware that I am ultimately in control and I am making poor choices.
The babies are refusing to nap, so I need to go.... I'll check in for roll call if not before. Hope everyone is doing well.
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining