Tawanda

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Postby Tawanda » April 4th, 2007, 8:28 pm

Made it to the end of the day compliant and I stuck to my 5 shakes plan. It wasn't easy and I thought many times of just saying to heck with it---but I guess it came down to I want to break the cycle of me turning to food, to feed/subdue whatever emotion happens to be uncomfortable at the moment, more than I wanted any of the junk foods that I thought of. My journal post earlier today made me stop and think before I grabbed any off program food....and that time of thinking, remembering what I wrote and the resolve I felt when I wrote it...that is what kept me from doing it.

I've read it over and over "stop and think about what you are feeling and then decide if you still want to eat".....well, I never took the time to stop and think---I had an uncomfortable emotion and wanted to eat so it was always shove the food in FAST and NOW. There was no stopping to think about emotions, feelings or anything other than 'once I shove this into my mouth what else is there to eat?' Ugly but true---over and over and over again.

The good thing, other than staying on program is that I'm not angry at myself and I'm skipping the recriminations and self hatred that I'd usually be feeling if I had tossed aside my resolve.

Baby steps.......tiny, bitty, awkward baby steps. Maybe, just maybe, I'm really going to do it this time. Amazing.
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Postby Serendipity » April 5th, 2007, 3:34 am

T, Isn't it neat that we can be motivated by our own words? You're doing great, gf. You WILL make it.....no worries.
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Postby bikipatra » April 5th, 2007, 3:51 am

Tawanda, I can't really relate about the daily food obsessions but I can tell you evevy time I feel uncomfortable, I want to reach for a pill and it is a struggle. I just keep holding on like you do.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
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Postby Tawanda » April 5th, 2007, 5:42 am

Good morning! As corny as it may sound, I treasure the feedback that each of you has spent the time to write here in my journal. Thank you!

Well........I think I've finally figured out what I've done wrong and why I'm stuck (oh yeah, still stuck!!!! :x but you won't hear me mention it today :x :x ;) I'm so over mentioning it and the frustration I feel when I see the SAME darn number each morning.....nah, I won't mention it today).

:lol:

I think where I went wrong......and where I went wrong last time (recently when I was stuck 4-4.5# ago---for 9 days......but who was counting the days? or noticing that they were stuck?)

;)

Where I went wrong was---I bet I said "Gee, I really, really wish and look forward to seeing 190# on the scale. I will be so incredibly happy and feel so good when I can see 190#".

See........that is all it would take. The MF (hmmm, I *was* thinking Medifast, but..........nah, never mind) fairy must have been so busy with everyone losing so much weight and her (his?) list being so long of people to visit, that she just rushed by here, heard my musings about how thrilled I would be to see 190---waved her magic MF wand, sprinkled some MF magic scale dust.......and that was it---I got to see 190 and 190 and 190 and 190 and ......................so on and so forth.

Sigh.

Really be careful what you are wishing for.......k? That blessed MF scale fairy is truly a busy fairy and sometimes she/he just catches a bit of your wishing and not the entire context of what you are wishing for.......and you just might get your wish----- for longer than you expected.

;) :lol:

Okay, so now I need some time to think about my next wish........

Make it a wonderful day or at least make it a wonderful day in all the ways that you have control over!
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Postby MerryMary » April 5th, 2007, 8:05 am

:roflmao: Well, I heard it said, "Be careful what you pray for," maybe the same it true of wishes to the MF fairy! :lol:

Seriously though, Biki lost those 7 lbs after I prayed specifically for her ... since I'll be at church this evening, would you mind if I prayed for you? :)

Mary
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Postby KeleeGrl » April 5th, 2007, 8:27 am

Tawanda your too funny! Stick with it, it will happen.

Mary, could you put in a little word for me too?? :oops:
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Postby Lizabette » April 5th, 2007, 8:30 am

T - BABE!
190# is good!
Doing a little figuring to see where you went RIGHT!
Started about 2 months ago at 212, so thats 22 pounds gone.
That averages over 10 pounds a month.
(Some people would kill for that average on most food plans)

Are your clothes fitting looser?
Any NSV's?
Are you feeling better physically than 22 pounds ago?
Are you able to do more activities easier?
Do you have a sense of accomplishment for having lost 22 pounds, YAY!

Hey, don't sweat it! You are still in the process of getting fit and healthy!
Tie a knot on the end of the rope and hang on!
It's in you to make it and you will! RIGHT?
Lizabette :heart:
195/135 - Reached goal, Aug. 31, '06
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Postby Tawanda » April 5th, 2007, 9:18 am

Mary, always welcome prayers---always! :)

Kelli, keep working on it and so will I.....

Lizabette, most of my weight loss was in the first month, but yes, 10# a month (or if getting technical 11# in a 4 week period) is an awesome and excellent amount. Much more than I have had on other plans/programs. I just see the time where the scale doesn't move as 'wasted' time. ;) It isn't true (that the time is wasted) but it sure seems like it when you become spoilt by seeing daily losses.

Patience is something I've needed to master......and this is giving me some practice. ;) :lol:

Okay, back to work for me!
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Postby 2getskinny » April 5th, 2007, 11:42 am

That is wonderful news! you did it! You are doing great! Inspiration to all of us. Keep up the good work! :)
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Postby bikipatra » April 5th, 2007, 11:57 am

MerryMary wrote:
Seriously though, Biki lost those 7 lbs after I prayed specifically for her ... since I'll be at church this evening, would you mind if I prayed for you? :)

Mary

Feel free to do it again. At Mass, I usually pray for the board in general. Not for weight loss specifically but for continued good health. Apparently, I need more specific prayers!
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
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226.8/218/135
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Postby MerryMary » April 5th, 2007, 1:00 pm

bikipatra wrote:
MerryMary wrote:
Seriously though, Biki lost those 7 lbs after I prayed specifically for her ... since I'll be at church this evening, would you mind if I prayed for you? :)

Mary

Feel free to do it again. At Mass, I usually pray for the board in general. Not for weight loss specifically but for continued good health. Apparently, I need more specific prayers!

Okay, I will specifically pray for you Biki and Tawanda and Kelli <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/17/17_1_10.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D17%252F17_1_10/image.gif"> and also all our MF friends in general. Please remember me in your prayers as well! :)
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Postby bikipatra » April 5th, 2007, 1:27 pm

But of course! :angel:
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby DonicaB » April 5th, 2007, 4:12 pm

Tawanda~ Sometimes I feel the same way......in regards to wasted time..........I've even said.........well, if I'm gonna say "NO" all week to the good stuff everyone else is eating...........and not lose any weight.......then why bother. Sometimes it does seem like wasted time. But then, I look back and see that the time was not wasted at all. There are times the scale doesn't move the way we want it to, but believe me we are learning something. We may not fully understand what it is we are learning, but I think whatever it is........it is helping us be better prepared for reaching our goals and maintaining them.

You are doing great. Go back and read your post on Wed. (the 4th). You are definitely learning things about yourself. And.......in the process you're inspiring and encouraging us as well. ;)

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Postby KeleeGrl » April 6th, 2007, 6:05 am

Ditto on what Donica said. I think we all feel that when we have been compliant, but its not showing on the scale, but darn it that scale definitely starts moving when you least expect it.

Mary, I will definitely keep you in my prayers also!

Hang in there Towanda, your due for a big loss.
Kelli
Re-re-restarted MF: 3/10/08

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Postby Tawanda » April 6th, 2007, 6:25 am

:whoohoo: :yes: 189.5!!! :whoohoo:

Thanks everyone! Hopefully I'll never again see 190 (or above) on my scale...(although, being this close to it, makes me a bit nervous that it might just blip back up another day or two :shock: ).
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Tawanda
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Joined: February 7th, 2007, 7:25 am

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