The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Guest]

Hello To all...so many new members since I was on this forum. For those of you who dont remember me, I started Medifast at 185 pounds which seems like years and years ago now....my first time medifasting ever...I lost 50 pounds!! I had ups and downs thru my first journey...I would stumble, eat something I shouldnt, beat myself up over it..but I never gave up...we used to call it "the train to THINVILLE"....I fell off the train every so often, but got right back up.

I reached my goal weight from what I can remember...just as the summer was starting...I enjoyed wearing all the clothes I had in my closet (like many of us...my sizes ranged from 6's all the way to 22's)
at one point in my life back in 1997 I weighed 240 pounds...I was in a size 22 pants from Fashion bug...but I lost weight on my own, following a low carb plan and working out....I went thru a divorce..and put back on alot of weight...got myself back up to 185 pounds..and thats when I found medifast.

after medifast..I got to my goal weight of 135 pounds...I went up and down with a few pounds at first..never over eating more than 1 day in a row...I followed the Maintenence plan to the "T"....I worked out and I felt and looked great..my life started to be MINE again...I was sucessful at keeping that weight off...and even came back to the forum to confess to Nancy that I had gained some weight back...and went back on medifast for a few weeks....I fell into a pattern of that..playing with the same 10-15 pounds. Then...I got caught up in life...and I went back to my OLD ways of COMFORTING myself with FOOD!! food was no longer my fuel as I had learned, it became my comfort...I ate Sugar and white flour stuff..and that was all it took. I am a sugar/carb addict. I cant tell you how many countless times I have tried to come back to Medifast...to only last a few days at a time. Well folks....Im here to tell you that you can loose weight with Medifast...and you can keep it off.

I let myself get out of control...I saw it happening...but couldnt stop it!! isnt it awful the way food can control you instead of you controling it? my life spun out of control...cuz when I CANNOT CONTROL what I am putting in my mouth...I cant control anything..and its the most helpless feeling...I got to that "isolation" phase once again...the place where I loose myself...I have no self esteem.I feel like I was defeated once again by the sugar/carb demons...they got the best of me.....UNTILL NOW!

I decided yesterday that I was going to give this ONE MORE SHOT...and now..back at 175 pounds..my clothes are not fitting, Im alone more than I want to be..I feel fat and ugly...I KNOW that I have to do this...there is nothing else ...or anywhere else to go. I need the STRICTNESS of this program..and I NEED THIS FORUM to come to ...to read..to remind myself that I am not alone is this weight struggle!! when I am "clean" from sugar and crap food...I am FREE in my mind, my heart and soul as well..Im at a place in my mind where things are clear, not clouded.

Im not sure which if you can relate to this....there were days that I would go on binges...eating whole bags of this and that...I would wake up and my calves and legs would be so swollen..I would feel as if my skin was going to rip open...my face was bloated and I looked older...sadder...it was a vicious cycle..one that I KNOW I HAD TO STOP before I got back to 185 then back to 240 again!!

I ask the lord to take this away from me ...this food addiction..that I have fought my whole life..as far back as I can remember!! I ask that he once again subside the longing for food to entertain me..to sustain me...to comfort me...and instead, to fill me of nutritious shakes..take my hunger away and EAT TO LIVE not to live to EAT!! I ask the lord to help me get back to my weight of 135-140 and stay there this time...to get back to working out and feeling ALIVE again....one day at a time..I can do this. There will be temptations Im aware of!! but Im in that scary black place again..where I want to hibernate...and that is no way to live!! its as if I woke up yesterday and all of a sudden was 175 pounds again...35 pounds heavier in just a few months...it can happen when you shovel food in without thinking about it...to stuff everything else down..and wake up with that awful "Ill start again tommorrow...Ill start again on monday...Ill start next month"....

well this is my promise to myself and to all of you..I will be on this forum everyday..getting to know all of you ....posting and reading..praying for us all that we get thru each day of CLEAN shaking...no sneaking..no cheating..no seeing what we can "get away with"...cuz when your doing that..your only hurting yourself...I woke up 35 pounds heavier!!! thats how its seems anyhow!!

thats my little story....and my promise..my hope of all of us reaching our goal weight....I fogot that NOTHING tastes as good as BEING thin feels...
I want to know that feeling again....and I will..one shake at a time.
thanks for reading....
Tami....BACK AGAIN!!

[TamiL]

Sorry yall...forgot to sign in above...thats me Tami....back again....Im a little rusty at this forum...but give me a day or two and Ill be an old pro!!looking forward to getting to know all of you again!!

[Lisa Renee]

Welcome back Tami. We are glad to have you. I look forward to sharing and giving support to you over the course of your journey. Remember to take strength in the Lord and He will watch over you. Sometimes when I want to eat something bad I will say out loud "I choose you Lord". It really builds my spirit up and I feel that I get a lot of power out of saying this out loud. I know it might sound strange to some people, but I believe that confessing things out loud gives us power through the Spirit.

God Bless and glad to have you back!

Lisa

[martha]

TAMIL--

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! before you know it you will wake up and the weight will be gone congratulations on realizing it was time to restart before all of your weight was back. . ( I've been there) I look forward to seeing less of you each week..have a great restart..Martha

[TamiL]

Thanks u guys....your support means the world to me right now!! day 1 is over....as soon as I can get myself to sleep!! day 2 tommorrow....everyday I will be asking the good Lord to help me..and all of us...to get thru one day at a time...clean...

Tami

[joysea]

TamiL wrote:

I ask the lord to take this away from me ...this food addiction..that I have fought my whole life..as far back as I can remember!! I ask that he once again subside the longing for food to entertain me..to sustain me...to comfort me...and instead, to fill me of nutritious shakes..take my hunger away and EAT TO LIVE not to live to EAT!! I ask the lord to help me get back to my weight of 135-140 and stay there this time...to get back to working out and feeling ALIVE again....one day at a time..I can do this. There will be temptations Im aware of!! but Im in that scary black place again..where I want to hibernate...and that is no way to live!! its as if I woke up yesterday and all of a sudden was 175 pounds again...

Dear Tami~

I am saying this prayer right now for you and for me and all of us with this addiction. I could have written your post...every word rings true in my life, too.
At times of bingeing I think I am the ONLY one with this incessant desire to stuff the feelings...just as in times of Medifasting, I get this twisted notion that I am the only one getting up in the morning grabbing a shake, trying to fend off the carb demons....but it fact the Lord is right there with all of us who are WILLING to forego the immediate gratification and rather feed our bodies AND SOULS with proper nutrients so that we might LIVE rather than hibernate in that "dark hole."

We are all together, hand in hand, day by day, slaying the demons - using Medifast as our weapon of defense!

Peace,
Joyce

[dlr2424]

Tami..... ......I'm so happy your back....... .....thank you so much for your honesty ..... ....sharing that post will help so many.... .....I know it was meant for me to read..........I too feel like Joyce.....I could have written it myself.............SUGAR/CARB DEMONS...... ......there vicious.....I so admire you for coming back and owning up to the truth.... ....weight gain is one wrong bite away....as it can easily lead to many wrong bites..........just as weight loss is one shake away...... ......it doesn't seem that losing is as difficult as reprograming our minds........EAT TO LIVE....NOT......LIVE TO EAT........... ............my prayers to you and to many for success on this sometimes challenging journey...... .....keep shaking........it will get you to goal..... ......

Donna....dlr2424

[TamiL]

Thank you all...Joyce, Donna...Strawberry....we all have an understanding..that that is what is so comforting about this forum!! DONNA YOU are only 4.2 pounds away from your goal!! that is WONDERFUL!! so proud of you!!

the rest of us will get there....shake by shake!! its the beginning of Day 2 for me...and going strong. I do have a dinner date tonite..but I am familiar with the restuaraunt I am going to..and know just what I can have for my lean/green meal!! after that..its back to full fast for me...for day 3!!

HERES TO A GREAT SHAKIN DAY!!!
its SOOO GOOD TO BE BACK!!

Tami

[Gwenski]

Tami

WELCOME BACK!! Hey I am thinking with God in your heart and him and us by your side, it will all work itself out.

Thank you for sharing your struggles with us, I don't think you could find a better bunch of peeps to listen and actually know and understand where you are, where you have been and where you want to be.

Peace, love and prayers!

[Emma]

Hi Tammi:

Thanks so much for sharing your story. If I keep going the way I am lately, it will be MY story in a couple of months. The Sugar demon has got me the last couple of weeks and I've been praying for strength to beat it. It is SO hard and it IS an addiction.

I'm glad you're going to restart MF. It is the best program and I'm not giving up. God won't let me, this I know for sure. I've had a clean day of shakin' today so far, so I'm praying along with you that we can keep it up.

Have a great week!
emma

[TamiL]

Thanks Gwenski and Emma...

it is a struggle...but today for me..on a CLEAN day 3...I felt that "spring" in my step as I was walking...I felt good when I got home this evening..knowing that im going on day 4 tommorrow..and I already feel SOOOOO MUCH Better just having no sugar or bad stuff in my body for days...its amazing to me...what clarity comes to me...how things seem just on the "up" instead of on the "down" when I am eating. Im praying alot latley....I know..God knows...I came back here for a reason..its where Im supposed to be... one day at a time...I am going to do this...and this time...I am going to try and post every day...and be accountable..good days or bad...!!!

Emma...I see your from Mass? what also caught my eye is that the day you joined..is my birthday....26 May!! great date!!

happy shakin...we can do this..one shake at a time!!

thanks for the support!!!
Tam

[Mommy2girls]

Welcome back Tami! I too have had the pain of the regain, and it is incredibly hard to deal with. I lost 85lbs on MF 7 years ago, felt great for about 18 months, then it started slowly (at first) coming back, and then after it was too late to stop the regain, I got pregnant with my first daughter and sort of gave up, gave in, call it what you like, but I tricked myself into thinking it would all come off after having the baby. Sooooo not true (and why would it?...55lbs+ wasn't from the baby it was from all the ice cream I indulged in!) Then I turned around had baby girl #2 exactly 19 months after the first, and then got busy being a mom and neglecting myself.

So here I am (again!) and I am praying every day that this will stay off. I wish there was a magic wand we could wave to keep the weight gone forever, but I know that it takes hard work, dedication, support and belief that we can forever lose this weight.

We are here for you and we are walking this path with you. Thanks for sharing your story with us!