The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

I know some people have mentioned something along these lines before, but I forgot to write anything down. So ... can anyone suggest any really good books on body image (or ways to improve it)? I'm starting to realize that what I see in the mirror isn't anywhere close to what's really there.

I know I still need to build muscle and lose fat, but I'm starting to think maybe everyone's right and I don't actually need to lose more weight. I'm already fitting into a 6 and even a 4 in some brands (and really, I'd fit in pretty much all the 4's if I could just get rid of the flabby lower tummy area, which I'm working on). The problem is, even though I do see a difference from the beginning (when I was around a 20W), I see MAYBE a size 10. Maybe.

I see fat everywhere (big calves, flabby thighs, a fatty back, a huge stomach and big, chunky arms), but I'm not entirely sure it's really there anymore. I mean, how can I fit in such small sizes and still be so fat? So what do I do?

[Arklahoma]

DogMa ~ I don't have a recommendation for you but am hoping that someone else will stop by with a fab suggestion.

[JeepGirl]

lol I commented in your journal @ this.

I will look for one I got years ago. It was awesome and I am pretty sure that I saw somewhere the past yr that it was updated. I read it back in 1993 LOL

I will check and letcha know.

[supermom]

I wish I could help you. All I can say though, is that sometimes you just have to surrender and listen to people. It is so hard when you have seen yourself in such a negative way for so long. I know. I feel the same way. But, bottom line is, you feel better. Your clothes are smaller. You only think you see fat. It is part of the mind game of weight loss. Maybe go to Six Flags and look at yourself in the fat mirror. Then, you will realize just exactly how good you really do look. It will take time. Weight is a number. Muscle weighs more than fat. I bought a good periodical this week. It is from Prevention Guide and it is called "Abs Diet". You might look it up and consider working it into your maintenance phase, just to help burn the ab flab.

[Mike]

Its simple Robin... you aren't seeing fat... you are seeing loose skin. It happens. Just give it time to tighten up, unless you want to do the other thing (I think we all know what that is).

[DogMa]

Yeah, no knives for me. Does it really tighten up? I mean, it's not like I lost my weight so quickly or anything.

The thing is, I'm not sure how much skin or fat there is, and how much is just what I see. From what I hear, it's mostly in my head (and it wouldn't be the first time someone called me a fat head!).

Thanks on the tip on the Abs Diet, Supermom. I looked it up, and it's interesting. Although the book's not REALLY about abs. It's more about building muscle to burn fat, which I'm already doing. The one REALLY interesting part is they have you eat six times a day, like we do. But they say not to eat MORE often. So since I have an extra shake every day because of the workouts, I'm thinking maybe I should double up once a day instead of eating seven times a day.

[Nicki]

Robin - I don't have any suggestions ... just wanted to commiserate. I'm no where near where you are, but I can fit in all 12's and a few 10's. I never dreamed I could get in a 10, even at goal. But, when I look in the mirror, I don't think I look all THAT different than I did 100 pounds ago. My head knows that's not possible, but I think that is a reflection of how I deluded myself when I had all the extra pounds. I didn't realize how big I really was. Now, on days when I think I look particularly spiffy at first glance, I second guess myself before I can stop. Sooo, let me know if you find that book ... I need it too!

[DogMa]

Thanks, all. I think I found a book. I was watching Celebrity Fit Club (I know) and the psychologist on there has a book on body image. "Mirror, Mirror: Something or other that I can't remember."

Of course, they also say healthy body fat percentage is 21 percent for women. I'm ... errr ... above that, so it's definitely not just skin. I've still got some fat to burn.

[Lauren]

Hey, Robin-

There are a ton of articles and books on BDD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It's often very debilitating, and probably more extreme than what you're experiencing, but I believe it was recently diagnosed as a unique form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). People are consumed by their image in the mirror and see a horrible reflection. They see only ugly, fat, hideous, etc. What's fascinating is that so many of the people with BDD are actually not just average, but gorgeous! They are not trying to get attention, not trying to get compliments, just completely incapable of seeing anything attractive.

While I don't think you seem to have this extreme BDD, you may have an unhealthy body image that certainly would benefit from addressing. Books are a good idea, but you may consider talking to someone. I am not a shrink (nor do I play one on tv), but going from big to little (and you are, my friend, LITTLE) plays tricks in our minds. For instance, I have absolutely no concept of how much physical space I take up in this world. I am serious. When I walk down a hallway b/w people, I don't know if I am going to brush up against them, or have a mile b/w us! I don't know whether I'll fit in a booth (but I always do now), or things like that. That has a profound effect - because I think we lose a bit of grounding or footing in reality. That may be what you're dealing with.

If someone told you when you were a size 20 or 18 that you'd be struggling over 6's, 4's, or 2's, you'd likely have laughed, and thought that being a size 6 was hardly a struggle - you'd be thrilled. So now you have to figure out what's changed. You have to find a way to look at yourself and be overwhelmed by the magnificence of what you've done, stare at yourself and compliment yourself for each aspect of your body that is inifinitely smaller than it was a year ago. Just acknowledge it and be happy with it. By the way, I am not normally one of those frou-frou daily affirmation people, I just think you have been recently so focused on the parts of your body that you don't like, instead of looking at the whole body and acknowledging the fantastic transformation.

I am not sitting in a room with you, so I can't tell you if you are "crazy," and should stop dieting or not. But I can tell you that you are at a fit and healthy weight, you've incorporated exercise into your diet, you are eating healthily, and you fit into a remarkably small size. If you are looking in a mirror and seeing "10," then you need to come up with a way to readjust your eyes, and that may come with some outside assistance.

Good luck to you!

Lauren

[DogMa]

Thanks, Lauren. I really am trying to work on it, and I've decided that I'm definitely transitioning once I hit 125 and not going any lower. Any other weight/size loss will come from muscle gain and fat loss through exercise.

I'm trying a bit of cognitive therapy right now. I'm at work wearing something I wouldn't normally wear because it actually shows my figure (although it does hide my stomach a bit). And I'm absolutely not letting myself throw a sweat shirt on, no matter what. A teeny, tiny part of me way deep inside thinks I look kind of hot.

Funny that you should mention OCD, because I've always maintained that I'm a bit borderline in that area. (But I did actually anticipate having this problem earlier on. I lost the weight before, many years ago, and got to a size 6. And even then, I thought my butt was too big. I just wasn't as committed to changing it.)