The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[tink]

I had a real moment today that made me realize that I was 100% certain that I was dedicated to the MF way of life. My co-worker who is 25 and a size 4 wanted me to go to the mall with her at lunch so she could do some shopping. I am 37 and want to drop 90 pounds you get the drift! The thought of going in Express, Gap and Petite Sophisticate was enough pressure and then add on the food court with everything from Chinese to Mexican being right there in your face that I declined. I told her "ya know I just don't want to smell the food right now" and she convinced me to go telling me what good exercise it would be!!! I could feel myself just become anxious as soon as we entered the mall. I felt like everybody was watching me standing in Express where the largest size is like a 6 or something crazy. I call the stores "fetus shops" because I seems like only they could wear the clothing! Anyway, I was feeling really uncomfortable and then I thought you know what I will be in the clothes soon. It was almost a "pretty women" moment ... "you work on commission don't you? BIG MISTAKE BIG MISTAKE! I took the power of knowing that there snears and even ignoring me at one point when I was asking about a price of a shirt (for a gift) that I would be back and shopping for myself! I was feeling pretty darn good at that point then we go to the food court .. co-worker was craving a cheeseburger! GULP! OH man why am I here WHY??? I am looking around casing the place trying to find a salad or something that I could eat. I spotted some steamed veggies and actually made it through the line of pasta, pizza, lasagna and garlic bread to order my "veggies & diet coke" please. I sat down and my stomach is knots I just felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. My co-worker proceeds to chomp down on that burger AND CHILI FRIES when I noticed it.... I looked all around myself and I could see fat, oil, grease, lard and just general unhealth! It hit me like a ton of bricks.. OMG I thought as I watched person after person just cram food in their mouths like animals. I realized that I was so over it .. at that moment I could have cared less about anything there and the smells they almost made me sick. It was amazing to me how clear it all became from a trip to the mall that I didn't even want to take. I just wanted to share this experience for whatever it is worth so that if anybody else is in this situation to turn it around and see it for what it really is. I feel like the Queen of Sheba now not because I bought a size 4 today but because I know I will.

[want2Bthin]

Tink-

What a wonderful post! Good for you. Pretty Woman is one of my favorite movies. When you get to your weight you can go back into that store and tell them Big Mistake!

Angelia

[LilMsTexas]

Congratulations!! That is sooooooooooooooooooo awesome!! I have had similar situations since beginning this journey in March and everytime I get through one I feel stronger and stronger and stronger Good for you..........good for ALL of us who are staying true to our FUTURES and not our past.

[doglover]

Wow - what a great day for you! You go girl - and remember these feelings when a bad day wants to hit you between the eyes!!

Hip Hip Horray!
Donna

[dlr2424]

Tink.....what a wonderful post.. .......thanks for sharing that..........I think of those as the little blessings along the way that help us to stay more compliant.... .....and as far as the clothes go you will be shopping in those stores sooner than you can imagine........ ....only you will be lead to a store that has kind....helpful...non-judgemental staff...............keep up the great work................
Donna...dlr2424

[DonicaB]

Tink~~you did great!! I am so glad that you were able to see the food that surrounded for what it is.......FAT.........LARD.........JUNK.

You have had a turning point.......the point where now you can look at those things and NOT desire them.

You were strong in the face of temptation. We may have to start calling you MIGHTY GIRL.

DonicaB

[tink]

Thanks for all your positive replies! DonicaB I like that "mighty girl" thing alot!

[NE gal in South]

I know exactly what you have experienced - for I have too!

The best is yet to come for you - soon!

You like I did this past Saturday will be buying a new pair of Capri pants with daisys and bumble bees embroidered on them with a matching shirt in a petite size 8. What a good feeling that was!!!

Did not need them, got them because I could - and will love them forever!!!

[Carrie]

I can definitely relate to your experience. I've noticed in the last 14 months that I've been working on my weight that it does make you become more aware of your environment. I think, in part, because when we're busy eating - we don't notice so much of what's going on around us.

I now seem to notice often just how many of us are obese. I see people struggling to move their bodies- fighting just to walk - and I promise myself that I will never allow myself to abuse me that way again.

I also notice peoples eating habits - what they're ordering at the restaurant, etc. And quite often the smell of fried food turns my stomach now, where before I ate fried food all the time. Now, chances are I'll be the one ordering the Greek salad (When I'm not actively MFing) and it really struck me the other day when I ordered one. I was waiting for it and it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS ...... ME, the cheeseburger, fries, shrimp basket girl just ordered a SALAD. And then I realized that I had actually turned a bad habit into a good one.

I'm not sure how long it will take me to get to a 'goal' weight, I take it one day at a time, but I can tell you one thing - my scale ain't goin' up again baby!

Unfortunately, I too, have noticed the ENORMOUS differences between the way I was treated at 265 pounds and the way I'm treated now. But I remember all that stuff from being thin before - it is emotionally devastating - particularly when we buy into it. We can't fight prejudiced and judgemental people, but we can NOT let them stop us from moving towards our goal.

On the flip side, *I* view life very differently now, in my size 16 pants, than I did when I was in size 26. I surrendered my spirit to being fat for all those years. Couldn't enjoy my life, because the only thing I could think about was how fat I was. And I let it erode my esteem and confidence. The good news is you can get it back. There is absolutely no difference between then and now for me, I only wish I had done this sooner!

Carrie