The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Alison]

Hi everyone,
Back to reality here. I have been doing well modifying my shake plan lately- lost another pound! A few more to go here. The thing is I am going back east to visit my family for 10 days 5 of which will be without my husband (my biggest supporter). My father has a terminal disease and is awaiting a lung for transplant. I haven't seen him for 4 months. He has declined rapidly in the last 6 weeks and is on oxygen all the time now. My family didn't tell me until a few days ago how bad he has gotten. I am very nervous. I am afraid with my food situation as well. I will be staying with him and my mom. My mom has always been extremely unsupportive of me regarding weightloss. WHen she sees me I know she'll say why are you doing this now you'll never have a child. She doesn't understand I need to have control over my eating before I teach all my bad habits to a child. I can't argue with her especially with may Dad's situation; he is extremely fragile. I want to stick with the shakes because I will be so stressed out that I am not confident I will be able to portion control. But that means my family will know about MF and NOT approve. I don't want to be forced to eat high fat foods to appease my mom. She will actually make a scene about it!! SHe has before with other diets. Should I lie. I know that sounds crazy but I was thinking of telling her the doctor put me on MF to get enough protein in me. Believe me any other situation I wouldn't even contemplate lying I just don't want to upset anyone right now. What should I do? I really need some feedback please.
Thanks, Alison

[explorthis]

What should I do? I really need some feedback please.

Ok, here is my take. Don’t take any offense, but you asked for “feedback”

I am a firm believer in creating your own circumstances. First of all, I am sorry about your Dad. That aside, are you not an adult? Weather your Mom supports this and your healthy legitimate choice is beside the point. This is about you, not about your Mom, or your ailing Dad, this is about Alison. How can you be forced to eat high fat foods, let alone any food for that point? Again, weather your Mom creates a scene of not, is beside the point. Let her create a scene. What difference does it make? If she chooses this, be calm; let her create the scene, and smile, say THIS IS MY CHOICE. What option does she have? Disown you because of a diet? Common. if this were the situation, Mom or not I would say adios. I would not want a person in my life so mean as to grade me or try and control me based on what diet I chose.

Alison, this is your choice, not hers. No one says you have to argue. I have learned in my few years that arguing gets NO WHERE FAST. There is a constructive point to a good 2 sided discussion, but NO POINT to an argument. No one wins, so what’s the point.

Stick to your guns, stick to what’s in your heart, and obviously it’s Medifast, or you would not have come here asking for help. This is probably not the last time your going to encounter naysayer’s regarding this program.

Do what YOU want, not what others want, this is Alison’s time!!

-Mike

[Alison]

Mike,
I just reread you reply several times. I know you're right. I worked really hard to get to this point and there should be no reason in the world to jeopordize that. My mom has her own issues with weight and handling stress poorly. Showing my concern and compassion for both of them should not require me to stuff myself silly so my mom feels comfortable. If they love me they should want what I know is best for me. Right!! Me first. I spent a miserable childhood as the fat kid, trying to get my mom to be happy, it didn't work then and it won't work now. If she doesn't explode at me about what I am eating I am sure it will be about something else. I love her but I think most every parent picks one kid to let loose on. I'm her punching bag so to speak. Thanks again Mike the first read of your posts always sounds a bit harsh(it's a man thing-hee-hee) but the underlying truth in your response is what I needed to hear. Feeling stronger already!
Alison

[Echo]

Alison, I totally understand. There are people who are very supportive in my life, but then there are others that will compare me to an anorexic (which I did have trouble with in HS, one thing once a week is not healthy, I would spend all week drinking diet coke or carnation instant breakfast looking forward to a cheeseburger on friday)

To those well meaning people I smile and say, thanks for your concern and support. Mikes right, this is your choice. My mantra from the begining is I own this, nobody actually pins me down and makes me share a plate of nacho's, but if I do it's me who lives with it, not them.

Self discipline is a strange concept in our society, it makes people nervous to see someone with a little self discipline and determination. Some people are afraid to see others succeed because it emphasizes their failures. That's their issue, not mine and certainly not yours.

This can really be a defining moment in your decision to take control of your health and weight. If you can make it through this you can take on anything!

[explorthis]

My mantra from the begining is I own this

AMEN Echo - what a great saying, I love it..... We basically bought it, made it into what it is, and we now own it. Now we get the luxury of remodeling it, so we are proud of owning it!!

and Alison:

My mom has her own issues with weight and handling stress poorly.

Could the be the real underlying problem your Mom has, be not with your choice, but the fact she might not have anything to beat you up for anymore?

Hmmm..

I hope the best for you, and hope you keep us posted. You, Alison, have worked too hard for this, and NO ONE should be able to take it away from you!!!

-Mike

[darmac44]

Hi, Alison! Sorry about your dad. I had been on Medifast for 10 days and was doing super in late Feb. and then my dad had a stroke due to complications from lung cancer. I went off the plan and it was a huge mistake. My mom and I began our 2 week vigil with dad by eating all our meals in the cafeteria, desserts and all. I told myself it would be impossible to stick to my plan while under the stress, but the fact was, the cafe had a microwave to make my soups and they were more than willing to help with hot water and such. Going off the plan made me feel physically awful, although all that food seemed to comfort at the time. Dad passed away from pneumonia and it has been so hard to stick to it during these stressful months! I have to make a committment, though and start clean and stay on. My instinct would be to lie to my mom and tell her a story like "I'm so upset i can't eat, this is all I can stomach to keep myself going" But I have learned it's not so good to lie and I get in trouble every time! Anyway, I hope your dad gets better and that you are able to cope with mom. I have the same issues and always get defensive when she gives her "advice" Hang in there! Darci