The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[FluffyNoMore]

I just saw one of my closest friends today and she said..."wow you've really lost alot of weight." so I went on and told yeah, it's really been easy aside from my tummy and stretch marks becoming wrinkly I'm really happy....then I said, "According to my BMI, I should lose another 40 lbs" she then asked, "Do you want to be anorexic or something? YOu look healthy just as you are."

Well, I don't want to be anorexic, but I don't want to be in the 190's either.

My family said the same thing, that I don't need to go crazy and lose 40 more lbs, that I don't want to be skin and bones....I don't tell people what I weigh because they usually have their mouth on the floor and say they can't believe it. I know what I weigh and I know it's right, I'm not starving myself, I'm not trying to be anorexic, I'm trying to be a healthier mom for my kids. It hurts my feelings for them to say things like this to me. I'm far from skinny.

[FORMOMMY]

I know what you mean - people would never guess how much I weigh. They have always thought that I weighed less than I really do. I guess being 5'8" helps - the taller you are I think the more you hold your weight. Whatever THAT means!!!

I'm almost down 40 pounds and when I say that I have about 75 more pounds to lose people look at me like I have 2 heads.

I think it is typical for people to make comments like that when someone who has a lot to lose starts losing the weight. They see a significant change when we just lose 20, 30, or 40 pounds and they can't imagine another 50, 60 or 70 pounds off your body. They have been so used to the way you look that any change causes them pause.

You know what your healthy weight is and you know where you will feel comfortable. Just thank them politely for their kind words and tell them that you are only losing what will make you healthier and happier and so you will be around a long time for your children.

Just my 2 cents

[Shana]

I just went & took a look at your latest pictures, and I think you look terrific! I understand you have a goal weight in mind, and want to lose another 40lbs, but you don't look like you need to lose 40.

Maybe when talking to friends & family who think you're already at a healthy weight, you could switch the focus from scale weight to a specific size you want to fit into - so instead of saying that you want to lose 40lbs, you say that you'd like to slide into a size 6/8 or whatever the size of choice is.

It may not even take 40lbs to get there - my mom was a size 6 at 5'4 & 157lbs, so scale weight isn't always an accurate reflection of the shape you're in

Just my thoughts - I think you look fantastic

[FluffyNoMore]

My goal is to be in my old size 10 gap jeans from the late 80's...my weight goal is 150(but that's not written in stone) In order to shrink myself down to a 10 according to size charts at VS I need a hip of 39 and a waist of 28 I think. Right now I'm 42 hips, 34 waist(gotta love stretched out baby belly) So where ever I reach that, I'm done.

[aphrael]

Most of the time what people see as being a healthy weight by imagine alone isn't what is considered healthy from a medical standpoint. If your BMI says you need to lose 40 more pounds and your doctor agrees, than you have nothing to worry about. If you have talked to your doctor about what is a good weight range for you than when people question you about losing more just tell them, I am doing as my doctor told me. If they can't respect what your doctor has told you than you need to just avoid that person for a while.

Keep up the great work, you look great right now, and I know when you reach your goal you are going to be STUNNING.

[Arklahoma]

Looks can be deceiving. Go by your BMI to get within the healthy range. This is the best method, from a medical standpoint, and will cut your chances of getting diabetes, heart disease, etc.

[dede4wd]

I'm sorry people are being like that to you. I'm in the same boat. When I tell people I have another 60lbs to lose, they start planning my funeral! I'm tall, I carry my weight well and as someone said, people are just used to seeing us at a certain weight. I do counter with "my goal is actually 5lbs MORE than my doctor said" and that I will be right in the middle of the Healthy BMI. I agree that maybe you should tell people in sizes what you'd like to get down to, but don't let them get you down. If you feel comfortable before your goal, stop where you are happy. Many of us won't be able to get back to our 80's weight, because, well, life happens. We just want to get in a healthy BMI range where we feel and look healthy! I know I don't want to be super skinny. Just healthy. Tell them that! If they don't like that, tell them to pound rocks!

Good luck!

DeDe

[BoPeep1]

Another tall one here! People are never able to guess my weight. Before I got to the size I am now, people used to tell me how lucky I was that I never gained weight in the mid-section.

I don't follow the BMI, when I am at my smallest, it still says I need to lose weight, I think stature has something to do with it too (yes, I am going to throw the big-boned thing in here).

[ktrout]

I still have quite a ways to go but I agree with you that people tell me that I'm fine the way I am. I do have my overall goal of 175 but I'm more than willing to re-evaluate that goal once I get closer. My DR said that he wants to see me and do another complete physical once I hit 200. He's very happy with my progress so far but cautioned me about going all the way down to 175 without his blessing. Right now I'm just very happy with my progress and the almost weekly change in body size. Even weeks that I don't lose much I can feel the changes in muscle tone and firmness.

[gettinthinny]

You do look awesome Jen. I like the size idea too. Once you get where you want/need to be, people will get used to seeing you that way. Go for it!

[mamabear]

I know what you mean! When I tell people how much more I want to lose-people say I couldn't possibly have to lose that much. Like my mother in law-I told her I want to lose 50 pounds and she said "we won't be able to see you anymore"--then I told her 10 pounds under THAT when I met her-she couldn't believe it. people say I carry my weight well but of course I don't see it that way.

[DogMa]

I'm short, but I hear it, too! Even my brother can't see where I have 20 pounds left to go and was worried that I'm anorexic. But when I told him my goal size and that even at my goal weight I'll be nowhere near the bottom of the healthy-weight range for my height, he stopped.

I think people are just used to seeing you a certain way. Plus they don't see you with your clothes off (most of 'em, anyway). I tell them the parts they see are looking pretty good, but there's plenty of fat hidden where they can't see it. I want to look good withOUT clothes.

[JustJeni]

I get so tired of people saying that also. It's like HELLO everyone carried the weight different. I'm at 197.5 and everyone keeps saying you will look sick if you want to lose 30 more pounds. I just want to say well you don't look at my body naked! Ughh!

[lise]

My doctor told me after measuring my bone density that I should be 155 even though the charts say 120-138. I agree with him; since I would sickly if I were that. I do hide my weight well and when I was 145 in high school, I looked 120 and fit in all the latest fashions. At 155, my BMI would be low enough to be considered healthy; coincidently, at 175 I would be considered heathy too! lol I think everything depends on yor height and boen density; the charts they have listing all weights do not take much in consideration.

I think I will meet that goal by the summer. I hope so, I have a feeling my boyfriend is planning something big for us soon.

Lise

[Ct. Yankee]

When I am on a program, I try not to give out too much information. People will say(eventually!) that I look great or ask if I am losing weight? Hello??!!! When they ask, how much I have lost, I simply say 'I am losing enough so I will be healthy once again"'. That usually works, when I add a smile and a thank you. When my goal is reached, then I give out the statistics. The doctor will determine what that goal is when I get closer to it. And, that, also, is what I tell other people. Always nicely, with a grateful smile and a thank you for noticing I have lost. When I don't give the specifics, they usually don't ask because I have put across the message in a nice way. This time around, I am not going to sabotage myself by listening to many compliments from the 'outside' world and thinking that I look fine just like I am at that time. Sadly, I have done that before. It's not everyone, nor probably the majority who feel this way, but this is me, and I need to do all the 'emotional adjusting' as well as what it takes me, to get where I want to be!

In the meantime, the only confidants that I cherish immensely and share completely with, are right here on this forum to encourage me every step of the way. And, for that, I am forever grateful. Love you all and God bless everyone here!

Joan