by Lisa Renee » September 26th, 2005, 9:04 pm
Oh Nikkiz, I want you to know that you are absolutely no different than a lot of us here. I have done the same things for as long as I can remember back. I have justified anything and everything just so I could wait until the beginning of a new week to start a new diet. Hey--Monday would be the best day to start and I had all my reasons lined up. Then I would do my new diet for about 1-2 days, go off and decide that I would start the next Monday. I gained probably 100 pounds waiting for my "Monday" to come. I would overeat every Saturday and Sunday because Monday was always coming and I wanted to make sure I tasted all the good stuff before I went on a diet. LITERALLY I overate every Saturday and Sunday for 7 years and gained 100 pounds because "Monday" was never something I realized I in fact had control over. One time I even asked my husband if he really thought I was overweight. He didn't want to talk about it at first but I begged him to really tell me what he thought. With tears in his eyes, he told me the truth and pleaded with me to do something about this because he didn't want me to die young. He had been carrying this for so long and when he finally let it all out, you know what I did? I used this as even another excuse to feel sorry for myself. I thought "I can't believe he said I was "morbidly obese"!!! I know I asked him to tell me the truth, but I can't believe he actually did! I am going to comfort myself now. I bet no other woman has ever heard her husband say this...I am so offended. Poor me. " Looking back I think, poor him! He finally told me after I begged him, then I let him have it! Then I medicated myself into thinking I wasn't really as bad as he made it out to sound. When I finally realized who was in control, I realized that I was the one in charge. I am far from where I need to be but for the first time in my life I realize that no body and no thing made me gain the weight. I did. I controlled it then and I control it now. I decide where this goes and I can't fool myself anymore. "Monday" was a fairytale. A myth. The Sasquach of dieting for me. The real Monday finally came when I decided that it was my choice, no one else's. And you know what, it wasn't even a Monday, it was a Tuesday that was the magic day...LOL My perception of what was ideal had kept me imprisoned in a cycle of failure.
In closing, please know that I am here for you ANYTIME. You can email me, PM me, anything you want because you and I think a lot along the same lines when it comes to justification. I totally believe that you are going through a stressful time, so I will pray for you and your family. I wish you the best with your restart and you have blown one obstacle right out of your way---Your own mind. Good luck and please keep us updated???
Thanks.