The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Stihl]

Stalled out today, still at 200.8. It seems like one day I'll lose somewhere close to a pound, the next day not lose any, and then the next day lose close to a pound again.

I guess my body needs that day in the middle to play catch up, and then send me on the roll.

I've just had 3 momentum infusers - hopefully that will get me to Onederland tomorrow!!

Anyway, so I wanted to tell everyone about this kind of big thing happening in my life right now.

As a teenage boy, there have been many times where I've liked a girl but have been way way too shy/self-doubting/insecure about myself, and therefore nothing ever came of my little crushes. Hell, I've never even been on a date!

But there is this one girl that I really do like, and while we were never officially romantically involved we did become very close.

Well, on the 21st I'm going to be visiting her (she lives in San Francisco, so I'll be flying in to see her/other friends/sight see/be on my way back to L.A. for school)

I'm really eager to see her. The last time we saw each other, I was at my highest weight ever (290 pounds!!!) I'm just really anxious/scared/eager for the reaction - that I'll have lost upwards of 90# by the time I see her. She doesn't know and I'm not telling her or any of her friends, and am careful to not post any recent pictures on Facebook

Its just gonna be a big thing for me, and I guess I'm just saying that I'm super anxious about it.

Also, on this trip I'll be going to some formal places with her, and so I've had to purchase a new suit (the old ones just look... silly is an understatement). My uncle is a tailor, and will do the alterations/tailoring free of charge!!

I sent the pictures of me in the suit to some friends, and some of them said things like "God, dude, how much weight have you lost?" One girl I talk to, who is in her own right quite attractive (college swimmer) said that I looked "skinny' (which I immediately called B.S. on - I just don't have that kind of image of my body where I can use the "S" word). Plus, everyone looks thinner in a suit that fits right

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm just super eager/anxious to see this person. And to show off my new body and my new suit. I just hope it goes well...

[DogMa]

You're going to knock her socks off! To have lost all that weight AND be wearing a nice suit? Very sexy!! You'll have to let us know her reaction!

[Tawanda]

I hope you get to see 199 on that scale tomorrow morning! You've done so well and have lost so much weight, I'm eager to hear how your trip and visit with your friend goes. Hope it is all you are wishing for it to be.

[Stihl]

Thanks. Will respond in others' journals later today, when I'm not in the morning rush

Unfortunately, only 200.6 today


So maybe tomorrow or the day after

Someday soon...

[Lauren]

Congrats on so much continued success, Stihl, you are working this program exactly the way it's supposed to be done!

I think your surprise "reveal" on your upcoming visit is going to be awesome, and met with a fantastic response! Even more significant, though, is how much better you're feeling about yourself, and the enthusiasm you now have to share with the people around you. It's not just about the actual pounds lost, it's about the self-esteem gained, and that just gets better and better with time!

Keep on rocking, Stihl!

Lauren

[Stihl]

Argh still stuck about 200.5.

[Stihl]

So after finally getting over some sandbox issues, today I weighed in at 199.7

199.7

Apparently, the move to Onederland also moves me out of the Obese BMI category and into the Overweight one.

Obviously BMI is a silly metric, and as a weight-training male it means very little to me, but still a nice bonus.

[oksoonergirl26]

Congratulations!!! Every little ounce matters at this stage, so just go with it. I hope your San Fran trip works out well! It is fun dealing with people who haven't seen you with the weight loss. I am a teacher and at the end of school I had only lost about 25 pounds and not even a single size yet, I am now down almost 60 and almost three dress sizes. I have ran into a couple of my students out and about and they seriously didn't recognize me (in addition to the weight loss I had Lasik and dyed my hair brown instead of blonde, so that helps too, but the weight is the thing they noticed the most), so a perverse part of me is ready for the first day of school to hear all the OH my goodness, you look so good!!! comments.

[Stihl]

199.1 today.

Thanks everyone for the congratulations. Just gotta keep on swimming...

Sooner - sounds like that first day of school is going to rock! Hope you enjoy it!

Lauren - Yeah, I think I have gained a bit of self-esteem but I guess I still feel like the fat kid.

I'm still just crazy nervous about the trip - I mean, the girl who you have a humongous crush on for such a long time now gets to see you after you lose 90#? Should be interesting

My issue is that I still don't see a physical difference between me now and me then. I know there is one, I just honestly cannot see it.

I think it may have to do with my "man-breasts." The good news is that they seem to be going away (over the last week, actually, it seems they've been reducing a bit) but still, I guess I won't really see any difference until they're dead and gone.

Anyway, I've noticed recently that when I do go into rooms I tend to get better looks (I've been told that I'm a good looking guy), but I've also noticed that I seem much more disapproving of morbidly obese people now than I used to be. I don't know why, but for example the other day at a gas station I saw a pretty large teenager with his even larger father sitting in their car, eating ice cream and hot dogs. It just disgusted me a bit. I don't think I'm a horribly judgmental person, but has anyone else had a similar shift in their way of seeing people/things?

[Tawanda]

Congratulations on Onederland!!!!!

[oksoonergirl26]

So how did the trip go?

[Stihl]

The trip went really well. It was great to see her again. The interesting thing is that everyone commented directly on the weight loss except her, which I assume means something. If it were any of my friends I would tell them so, as I'm usually pretty good at picking these things out for other people, but when it comes to myself I am pretty blind, unfortunately.

So good news is I've stayed on plan and all that jazz. Down to 190.6 which means

100 POUNDS LOST!!!!!!

Of course this makes me happy.

So I'm back at college. The interesting thing is that I lost about 60 pounds last semester while at school and an additional 40 over the summer/first week at college, but I think most people picture me as me at my biggest, as in carrying around the 60 pounds I had lost during last semester. I suppose they saw me too often to notice a change, or the change wasn't quite as dramatic? If you move the desk one inch every day for a week, you would never notice it moved, but if you moved it 7 inches in one day, you would. Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes quote that I REALLY REALLY like

"Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything is different."

Its fun to see old friends again. One guy I hadn't seen since freshman year (I'm now a junior) said that he didn't recognize me, shouted to another one of my freshman year friends and was like - "Dude, this is Stihl!!" Haha, crazy

But to be perfectly honest, I'm getting sick of it and wish people would stop commenting. I don't know why I'm like that, but some of the time I wish people wouldn't say things about weight loss. I much prefer when people say "you look good!" or "you look better," rather than "You've lost a lot of weight!" or "Did you lose weight?"

What else... there's this girl back at school that I'm confused about. I think I would definitely pull the trigger if I had more confidence in my physical appearance. I still cannot look in the mirror and see a difference between me now and me 100 pounds ago. The only times I can tell are from old pictures. This girl is also way way hotter than I am, which also makes me feel wary about entering the fray, so to speak.

The other thing is that I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been in a relationship or anything like that. Which means that this is my first foray into "living." Most people my age (I turn 20 in Sept) have had at least a few years of "living" - going out, being social, feeling confident, having a good time, etc. These are the first days of my "living" and I don't even think they necessarily count quite yet as the first days, seeing as how I'm not at goal yet! I guess I need to play catchup.

Last night I went out to Target and WMT to get some things for school. The last sets of jeans I had bought were 34s, so I wanted to get the next size down (32x30 jeans). I thought they were going to be quite tight as my 34s aren't significantly loose yet. The new jeans are just slightly tight but not nearly as bad as I was thinking! They button just fine and I can even pull out the waist and have a little bit of room. I suppose that means that in a month or so, I'll need to get 30x30 (for men's jeans, it goes Waist size x inseam size) and then probably by the end of the semester switch to 28x30 jeans.

One thing I'm noticing is that its getting really hard to shop for clothes!! All the stores seem to stock mostly L and XL clothing, and I am now a M. I'm too small for normal clothes... how bizarre is that?

I already mentioned it, but I continue to have massive body image issues (pun intended). I think I''m still thoroughly unattractive regardless of what people say, and when i do admit I look good I pin it on the clothes more than myself.

Anyway... talk to you all later. Hope everyone is doing well

[oksoonergirl26]

I know that it is sometimes hard for the opposite sex to say anything about weight. The girl more than likely did notice, but (since women are sensitive) probably didn't want to say anything about it and if she is somewhat shy, saying how good you look wasn't an option either. I hear you with the clothes thing-I finally had to breakdown and buy a 12, even though I kept trying on 14 and 16. It is a mental thing and it takes time to get over. If you have always struggled with the weight, it is harder. I was skinny my teenage years, so I kind of never dismissed that image from head. As far as the socializing, just take it one step at time and keep your friends close!

[Tawanda]

Congratulations on hitting 100# lost! What an excellent achievement and accomplishment!

I think you just need time to get use to the new body and then you will begin seeing the change yourself. I marveled at the smaller me, but it took quite awhile to see that 68# gone. Now, about half of that weight is regained and I see BIG in the mirror again. I am not as big as I was.....but in the mirror and in my mind....I'm huge and disgusting. Our minds sure can do a number on us. Allow yourself time to get use to the smaller you..

[Stihl]

Hey gang - long time no speak (again)

So I weighed in today at 185.6. I don't know what I was at the beginning of this week, but from the last time I posted its been 2 weeks and a 5# loss, so a loss of 2.5#/week. Slightly less than the pace I want (though on pace for the "goal" I set), I know, but I haven't been 100% compliant. First few weeks back in college and there are all sorts of dorm parties and get -togethers involving pizza+alcohol etc. Also there's dining hall food - everything is around (cakes and pastas and pizzas and rice and hummus and pita bread). Still, I feel like escaping the first 2 weeks with a pretty good loss is great, and now that I've been solidly on plan the last 3 days it'll be like last year where I was on plan more or less for the entire semester (My birthday is coming up this week, but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine).

I am supremely bad at taking compliments. A lot of people have been commenting and such and I just cannot take a compliment.

Oh - and my goal weight is 145. Which means I only have 40 pounds left to go. That's crazy. By the end of the semester, ~Dec 20th, I should be done. Then my real life can begin.

Also - I'm seriously feeling like my body is WAY weird. At 185 pounds I'm currently wearing 30 waist jeans (extremely tight, but they do button+zip). Seriously? Like, I guess I must just have a fairly small frame because my friends who are 160 are wearing 32s. I honestly don't know what's up.

I recently just purchased online (because no store has them!) size 28x 28 jeans- the 30 inseam for me is a bit too much (I'm 5'8/5'9, but I like to wear jeans at the hips rather than at the waist where you're "supposed" to). A 28 jean size that I'll probably fit into when I weigh 170 or so? I'm almost worried that when I finish this weight loss process, I might not be able to buy clothes.

I might not get all the way down to 145 depending on how things look, but I still see a LOT of fat on my body. I still have man-breasts (chest fat) and a potbelly, which makes me even more astounded I'm fitting into size 30 jeans (to be fair, just barely. Though my 32s are loose, the 30s are tight).

I am also going to have to start purchasing small shirts, probably at weight 170 as well. What will I wear when I'm done and at 145? Urgh, I'm actually kind of worried. I understand it's a good problem to have, but there's a part of me that actually has concerns about what I'm going to be able to wear. I could stop early if I got rid of this body fat, but my man-breasts haven't left me yet!!

Again, my goal is to get to 145, muscle up to around 155, and maintain my weight between 155-165. I really don't want to become the person who gets crazy and upset about eating a slice of pizza, so I know that when I reach the upper limit of my range I need to knock it off, and at the lower limit I can afford a slice of pizza or a beer. I hope it'll turn out alright

Oh, and something INCREDIBLE has occurred. All throughout middle and high school we had those mile run tests where you run the mile and try to meet the state times and such. I had never been able to break 10 minutes, and never been able to run the full time. Well, yesterday I ran a 7:40 mile fairly easily. Today I'm going to run a sub-7 minute mile (to be fair, its on the treadmill though).

Hope all is well with the rest of you. I have a crazy amount of schoolwork (I'm "overloading" so am taking more classes than normal students) but I'll be back later in the week to check in when the workload isn't so much. Talk to you all later!