The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[bikipatra]

I have been on an eating binge since Sunday. I was very depressed that my weight had not changed in 2 weeks and also I found out that I wasn't getting a puppy I had planned on...also my computer died on me so I felt very isolated. I started out with donuts on Sunday morning. Then I had a salad. Then I had ice cream and macaroni and cheese. Yesterday I had French toast and chocolate chip cookies. Today I had more cookies, banana pudding and potato chips. The only reason I didn't eat more is because I was in a carb coma and slept through most of the days. I finally got back online a few minutes ago and read about how Raederle made some mistakes and came back. I said to myself that I could STOP right now! I feel so sluggish! I just got off the scale. I gained 5 pounds. It could be worse I guess. I took a picture to remind myself how pathetic and lonely my eating is. It's what the pillow next to mine in my bed looks like right now. Its a package of Chips Ahoy that looks like it has been attacked by a pack of wild dogs and a bag of Lays. I have been laying in bed all day and eating. I was asleep this afternoon when the maid came and I am thinking now what I looked like passed out with food piled in the bed. Like others have said, for me, it is like a drug. But like they say in AA, I never have to feel like this again. I am going to drink lots of water and have a shake later. Thanks for being here.

[kassilou]

Yep, Rae is going to be an example to us all of how to keep at it.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a few rough days, BP. My weight stayed the same for two weeks, too, and it was making me crazy. I weigh daily, and was even going up a bit...not even due to TOM! So not fair! But I hung in there and it started to drop last Friday. It does happen...we just have to be stubborn about sticking to it. (That's easy for me to say now that I'm moving downward again...remind me of this the next time I complain about being stuck! )

Can you keep the goodies out of your house? I can't have certain foods around. My dc and dh can have snacks and such, but not my faves. If you can keep those things out of your house they are easier to resist. I'm less likely to go off plan if I have to consciously go out and purchase them for myself.

Good luck on your restart. You can do it.

[bikipatra]

The foods weren't here, I had to go out and get them. You should have seen my hubby's face on Sunday when I sent him out for donuts! He did not want to fight with me but he was NOT pleased.

[Dean0408]

Biki........Biki........Biki.........

Nancy once said "We need more BLUNT on this forum!"

This is indeed a time for blunt...........but, alas........I haven't the courage.

Dean

[bikipatra]

Be as blunt as you want. I did not do anything that many have not. I messed up. The difference is, I CAME BACK. Compare the list of people who are registered on this site to the number who post regularly. A lot of people leave and unfortunately are never heard from again. But, alas, thanks for sparing me from any of your 'jokes"!

[Principessa]

You're back on track! You know how it made you feel to slip, and you're back on track! That's great bikpatra! And you took steps to remember how you felt today.

[raederle]

Hi Biki-- I woulda chimed in sooner but I have an hour train ride home from work... Anyways, I'm certainly glad that my messing up helped at least one person see that there is life after bingeing...

Seriously, many of us here have gone off plan; some on purpose and with conviction to get right back to it (like 24K and others who vacationed), and some, like me, who planned to be good and lost their way unexpectedly for no reason or for good reason. A wise woman (24K) once reminded me that it's not the person who falls into water who drowns; it's the one who doesn't pick herself up out of the water once she's fallen in! You know all this, of course, so I don't mean to patronize-- just wanted to make sure you understand that you deserve credit for getting right back to it. It would have been easy to say, "Oh, I'll just restart on Monday" or Sunday or Tuesday or whatever; but you stopped yourself in your tracks, in mid-binge, and I know that's hard. So GOOD WORK!!!

Now, the harder part begins. Now you have to sit down with yourself and find your conviction to stick with this til the end. Or for one month. Or until you lose x pounds-- whatever you think is an obtainable goal. And you need (like I do) to figure out what cause the crash and how to prevent it from happening again. I know from your other posts that you have lots going on right now in your life, much of it not good, and I sympathize... but I suppose you need to choose between letting that stuff give you an excuse to neglect yourself or not (if that's what caused the lapse). Maybe it means waiting to start MF when you know you can devote yourself to your self-- but I'm a firm believer that now is always the best time to start caring about you.

Pick the time. If the time is now, then, as Mike always said, JUST DO IT. No one can do it but you. You took the first step and came back, and that was huge! Now you gotta find it in yourself to keep putting one foot in front of the other. C'mon now, Biki!!!!





[Edited to fix dumb spelling mistakes!]

[ljm498]

You know Biki, just being able to stop yourself and get going again is a HUGE accomplishment in and of itself! I know, as I'm sure everyone here does, that stress will push the most disciplined of people to food. You're human. Now get back on that horse and ride to your goal whatever that may be! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

[bikipatra]

Thanks so much for your support. There is nothing going on in my life than carb/sugar binges will make better. My life really isn't that bad. I am self-absorbed and full of self-pity. But I am taking actions to remedy the ways I am screwed up...it just takes time!

[joysea]

Dear Biki,
I read Sunday's roll call and noticed you were not there...if you have caught up with all the posts, you'll see I couldn't join in roll call because of a 6 pound weight gain due to a three day binge.

I think of you so often. The endless binges CAN be a thing of the past for all of us. It is so hard when you have that inner struggle in your mind - eat it, don't eat it, eat it, don't eat it....don't give in, don't give in, don't give in....

I fight this fight almost every single day. But I come here for support...and I read and reread the posts over and over again....and I feel there is hope. Yes, there are so many disappointments in our lives that cause us to "chuck" it all in a vain attempt to mask our hurt and take away our sorrows - but we know it is not the answer.

That is why we continue to cling to our Medifast raft and this group of people who really, really understand the power food has over us.

WE ARE THE WINNERS HERE!

There is positive proof that we can overcome this addiction. I am so happy when you post your accomplishments.

I want to see you at roll call this week....I promise you I will be there.

Fondly,
Joyce

[Seaside]

Gosh, Biki, who among us hasn't been there? I can't speak for anyone but myself, and I know just what it's like to be in your shoes. One of my favorite inspirational writers is Norman Vincent Peale, and he said:

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.


If you fixate on this lapse, you will give it far more power than it deserves! Focus instead on that inner strength you found to resolve to get back on your plan!!

[DonicaB]

The foods weren't here, I had to go out and get them. You should have seen my hubby's face on Sunday when I sent him out for donuts! He did not want to fight with me but he was NOT pleased.

Biki~~ On every other diet I have been on I have asked my husband to help keep me accountable. However, when he actually tried to do it, I would absolutely explode at him. I would say "Who do you think you are telling me what I can and cannot eat. You have no idea what it is like to struggle with your weight. When you want to lose weight all you have to do is eat 2 sandwiches at lunch instead of 3. So don't tell me how to do it."

I would really rip on him, so I decided this time, I wasn't going to ask him to help keep me accoutable because it is not fair to him. He can't win.

You did the right thing by not fighting with him and I am sure you can understand why he wasn't pleased. He was probably hurting for you, because he could see you were hurting, but he didn't know how to help.

I don't know why I am telling you this, except I guess I don't want you to be upset with him for getting you the donuts that you sent him out for. ( I know you didn't way you were upset with him, I am just speculating) He may not have known what to do. He didn't want to get you the donuts but he also didn't want to upset you. Be careul not to put the people we love in a NO WIN situation.

DonicaB

[NE gal in South]

1. I made a Decision for me.
2. I am a frugal Yankee - I had a lot of $$$ invested in those boxes hanging out on the top of the dryer and washer.
3. Spent over $500 for a cabinet to stock my supplies.
4. I Faithfully keep that cabinet stocked - thus more $$$.
5. Started feeling better than I had in years!!!
6. Once this occured decided that I NEVER wanted to feel lousy again.
7. Made a Decision to eat a Meat Pie and Bridie only at the Highland Games (had not had one in 5 years) and have my shake in 3 hours.
8. Bought traditional Scottish pastries and froze them for a "When I Can Moment" - Made decision that I will know when I can, and if they get freezer burn will have only wasted $10, not ten days, weeks, months or years.
9. Made Decision to have slivers of 2 pies I baked for Thanksgiving and send the rest of all food I prepared that day out of my house before the sunset on Thanksgiving.
10. Made the Decision to tell everyone what I have lost and people knowing that keeps me on track plus my Decision to do it for me.

Glad to know you are back on track. We know you have made the right Decision for you!!! Keep "Shakin"

[bikipatra]

Donica thanks so much for your reply. I do know that he can't be held accountable for my actions. And WE BOTH know better than to make his 145 lb hiney my food police! He could get hurt!

[Principessa]

How's the Start Over going? Hope that you're doin' great!