The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[RavenKat]

Yep. Time to be honest. AND I expect a heart-felt lecture from Mike after this.

Before I started Medifast I was convinced that I would never consume anything but shakes. I considered it "cheating". Even the bars or the 5-1 plan would be a form of screwing up. No pickles or bouillion, either. Please understand that I know that others do perfectly well on these versions but I know me and I know that I always try to get away with as much as possible when I diet. I have also been very B&W: Perfection or Failure - those are your two choices.

So, the first week is happening and I have horrendous diarrhea and I use that as an excuse to eat a tablespoon of something thick made with p-nuts. My health-food-crazy neighbor says that'll fix it. Did it? No. I had quite an experience at Home Depot the next day, let me tell you! I think I even had a few bites of steak on the 4th or 5th day. My excuse for that was that I am an Atkins guru and told myself that if I switched one shake with some steak that I would be lowering my carbs - so, in fact, it was BETTER than the shake! Can you believe that one?! BUT I lost 8 pounds that first week - no better support for a lame argument than a weight loss....

I knew I had pushed it with the pn*t b***er so I went to the drug store and got immodium and lactaid pills. THAT lie taken care of. I had a good couple of days but then I made a couple of pure protein (and fat) dinners during the second week. I told myself that because I never went over 900 calories that it was okay. I only lost 3 pounds last week.

On Friday of that week, when I did my grocery shopping, I conveniently bought a jar of natural you-know-what. Why? My husband doesn't eat it. I was planning to cheat but not admitting it. That night I served dinner to my husband and neighbor with no problem. They ate junk in front of me and I felt like superwoman.

Saturday came and went. Lots of yard work, laying tile. Water, shakes and sun. Felt MAHvelous. Sunday evening I had a meltdown. I walked into the kitchen and ate all the protein and pnb I could stomach. Nice. So proud.

OH! and I ordered a new batch of supplements. Only half of which were shakes. Something I swore I would never do. But they came and I've been incorporating them. I've limited my shakes to three a day because the other supplements have higher calorie and carb content. That was my atonement for adding things to my diet that I had considered off-limits just two short weeks ago.

Week three is almost over and I ate some baked fish the other night and just had a salad for lunch. AND I've only lost 1 pound so far this week. Perhaps there is a connection? (Note sarcasm here)

I was even considering having a lean and green meal on Mother's Day. But HEY since I was doing that, why not have a couple of drinks on Saturday night? ACKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

These two events have not happened yet so I have control over whether they will. I am going to call my mom and tell her that food is not how we are going to celebrate Mom's day. Like others have said before, she's going to care for a split second and then be over it. She is the nicest lady on earth and has never said anything to make me feel fat or like a failure. I don't know why I was avoiding telling her. Embarrassed and putting off the inevitable, I guess.

I refuse to throw out the non-shake supps but I am terrified that I may be sabotaging myself by eating them. Any ideas? Maybe 1 a day or every couple of days?

This letter was inspired by the honesty of all the others members. I never tell the truth when dieting - but, I figured that if I wanted this to really be the last time down this path, that I had better change. Nor did I want to let shame keep me from progressing. I started writing in a journal, but I found I can lie to myself there, too.

*sigh*

Thanks for listening.
Kat

[Carrie]

Kat,

You may not be aware of this right now, but YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. You need to make a decision about whether you are going to be serious about this or not. You can dink around for years starting a diet and then grazing your way back into all- out eating. OR you can get serious, follow this plan for a prescribed period of time, and THEN be able to eat again (within reason of course).

You need to take responsibility for this. This is yours. You own it. What makes you feel better in the long run ..... to have a day where you stuck to your plan, or to have a day where you gorged on peanut butter?

I couldn't care less that you ordered other MF products besides the shakes. So what! They are part of the plan, and you will lose weight if you stick to them. If you use the full arsenal of MF products, and doctor them accordingly (as allowed) there is enough variety to keep you satisfied. The peanut butter bars taste great. You want limitations? How about this.... Restrict yourself solely to MF products, in the prescribed quantity. Bingo. There's your key to success.

If this was easy there wouldn't be any fat people. When I was working my way through college giving riding lessons (horses) and one of my students started jumping, they were inevitably scared and would veer around the jump or pull up short. This drove me (and the horse) crazy. I finally got tough about it and told them 'You can go under this jump, through it, or over it. Those are your only options. Easy way or hard way. You pick.'

You can do this the easy way, the hard way, or not at all. It's up to you, and no one but you will reap the benefits or pay the consequences of your decision.

I don't mean to be so harsh, but I have been where you are, and when I was there I needed a serious kick in the fanny. I have spent years and years eating like a glutton for all kinds of reasons and refusing to take responsibility for what I put in my mouth. And I regret every one of the years I lost to being in misery because I was fat. Let's not waste any more time on negative behavior and thought. This is something you can do for yourself, but only you can resolve to follow through.

Carrie

[Alison]

Wow!
First of all, I know about the PB thing. WHen I was on 'atkins' I ate a jar that's right a jar and not the regular sized ones (the huge 2-packs that you can get at Costco or Priceclub) a day once a week then I'd eat nothing for a few days. All or nothing you say, black or white type personality-I get it!! I do the full-fast too for the same reasons you did. I have often thought about ordering other supplements but I know I'll eat a box of PB bars in a minute. I do take it one day at a time. I drink too much nutrisweetned tea and the like because of my addiction to sweets. Somedays I'm better than others with the sweetners. So far I have accepted this is a low calorie diet so trying to justify carb content is not going to work. I do justify non caloric drinks but know deep down that my carb count is going way up and probably affecting my weightloss. I lost 9.5 the first week when I just had water and shakes now I am at 1-2 a week if I am lucky. I guess what I am trying to say is that most of us do use some excuses of behaviors we know are wrong. I just try to keep the damage to a minimum. Maybe the full fast is not for you. No pickles, salads, etc. might be sabotaging you. The major thing I have learned from MF is that I have to eat, at least 5xs a day. A perfect score for the day is not eating nothing. It may not even be having ONLY the 5 shakes. It is not making food the reason for getting up in the morning. It is having control to ask yourself if you are really hungry or having a emotional response. It's stopping at the scoop of PB and realizing why you had it to begin with. I understand where you are at and commend you for putting yourself out there. MF has given me the ability to be more honest then ever lately. You recognize what's happening which is key. Now you have to take some steps to get back on track. I hate to say it but if you truly believe you are going to eat all those extra supplements you ordered-THROW them out!! or have a friend or your mom hold them at their homes. When you feel strong enough to handle them then deal with them. Don't make this harder on you then neccessary. I hope this helps. I am sure that many members of our group will have some good advice.
Alison

[explorthis]

Kat,

I don’t think I can actually add anything. Well maybe I can. A heart-felt lecture from Mike is not really gonna do anything at this point. Carrie pretty much took the lecture horse by the reins, and said it wonderfully…

“And I regret every one of the years I lost to being in misery because I was fat.

Let's not waste any more time on negative behavior and thought. This is something you can do for yourself, but only you can resolve to follow through.”

Here is something we can all relate to (see above) regret – REGRET! How many of us think exactly what Carrie said, r-e-g-r-e-t every day, week, month, year after year of failure? Failure that WE, Kat, and Carrie and everyone else here allowed to happen. I allowed Mikes failure. Again, that word responsibility. We cannot control what we are doing, unless we take responsibility for our actions.

42 years of making excuses I carried the weight well, just like all of you did. Bull Carp! None of you carry the weight well. Oh I was muscular, that helped. Bull Carp, I was fat, everyone knew I was fat. Sort of like the comb-over that daily whips the dew up, using a can of hairspray to cement it place, thus creating the appearance of hair.

Well, no more (I am not a comb-over) fat for me. I feel better than anyone can ever imagine. I will NEVER allow myself to go back. My responsibility level is at a 10. Call it Def-Con-1.

Kat, only you can prevent forest fires. How much longer are you going to kid yourself?

Sigh…

[Landylue]

I hear you, Kat. That's exactly why I don't do the pickles, the lean & green, the chili, the soups, or, God forbid, the bars. I know they're great, but I also am an all-or-nothing personality, and I've just got to deal with it.

Kat, you've been one of my favorites out here on the forum ever since your first post and the incredible honesty and openess you expressed within it. You've done it again today. Plus, I saw something in your post that I want to call your attention to, and that is personal G R O W T H. It took a lot of courage to write that post, and a great deal of personal insight.

Carrie said, "I finally got tough about it and told them 'You can go under this jump, through it, or over it. Those are your only options. Easy way or hard way. You pick.'

What are YOUR options, Kat? Seems like to me that you can 1) stand up, square your shoulders, accept your all-or-nothing personality, and get the show on the road; or 2) keep sabotaging yourself to where the weight loss will be so slow that discouragement will settle on you like a shroud. You pick. But, I'll tell you, young lady, what option is NOT there for you, and that is F A I L U R E !!!

Not you, Kat. Not now. Not while we are all here pulling for you.

Choose door number one. You won't be sorry. I promise.



Landylue

[Marseilles]

Is this -everyones- hard week?

I don't think a single one of you know me yet but...

Today has been H*LL!!!! I have spent the past three hours talking myself OUT of a margarita (or 3), some chips & salsa, whats one handful of potato chips..Ive not cheated even once. (justify, make excuse, eat, regret)

You know, that much is true..since I started on MF in March I have not wavered..Ive lost more than 25lbs! Wooohooooo...well, today I could eat anything...and everything.

Aaaaaaaargh.....

But I havent...and Im sure I'll be a better (smaller) person for it...really. But man I could use some words of encouragement...or something

*sigh*

I know logically speaking that this is due to timing..namely times of the month when women can justify eating...well, anything. I also know I'd hate myself for it...but it is especially hard for me today....

-M

[RavenKat]

I want to thank everyone for their wonderful comments, ideas, sympathy and buttkicking. I am printing out your responses and pasting them in my journal (which I take everywhere) so I can read them over and over.

Also, I fear I may have been too flip about Mike and his concern for those on the forum and his constant inspiration to all of us floundering. He is obviously a winner and a great guy that is constantly pulling us up and showing that success is just around the corner. I only meant to tip my hat to him when I mentioned his "heart-felt lectures". Mike, I'm sorry if I seemed rude.

AND, I stopped by my mom's last night because traffic was crazy and I didn't want to spend 3 hours trying to get home from work. I casually asked her what she wanted to do for mother's day and she said she didn't want to go to a restaurant because they'd be too crowded! How funny is that?! She's rather eat in! No worries for me, then. I had been thinking about that situation for 2 weeks! Worrying for nothing is another one of my fortes.

I think I'm going to put the bars in the freezer so if I want to have one, I have to wait for it to be edible. Or give them to my mom to hang onto until I can handle them.

Again, thank you.

Kat

[Landylue]

I had to laugh, Kat, when I read about your plan to put those bars in the freezer. I would have to get them completely out of the house. 'FROZEN' never stopped me at all. I've eaten frozen-solid fried fruit pies, taquitos, left-over pizza, chocolate mints, cream puffs--no probelm! It's a wonder I still have all my teeth!!!

One more thought, Kat. Who else but you could be the future founding president of this 'Hotties Club' you keep advertising? You just 'havta' stay the course! I really want to join that club as soon as I hit goal.

Hummm...a 55-year old hottie...well, sure, why not! Look at our Nancy! She and that frisky youngster, Mike, can keep it going until we get there.

EVERYONE STAY STRONG! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER CLUB MEMBERSHIP TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

Marseilles--HANG ON, girl! We have ALL gone through what you are feeling right now. It's tough, but it does pass. What's one handful of potato chips? You said it yourself--"regret". HUGE regret, and I would also add guilt, anger, discouragement, and self-disgust. At least, that's how it usually flows downhill for me.

Think past the moment, Marseilles. Think past how the chips and hot sauce would taste, and consider the waves of emotional upheaval it would leave you swimming in. It's not worth it.

Nothing taste as good as knowing that you've survived this moment, and you've stayed the course.

We are pulling for you, Marseilles.

You can do this.

Landylue

[Marseilles]

Landy, you are a dollbaby!

Thank you God Bless

-M.

[explorthis]

I only meant to tip my hat to him when I mentioned his "heart-felt lectures". Mike, I'm sorry if I seemed rude.

Kat, I did not take anything you said as rude. Fear not... I am hear for you, and for the long haul for all of you!

-Mike

[RavenKat]

You know what? It says right on the box of bars to NOT put them in the freezer. There goes THAT idea. I'll be taking them to my mom's tomorrow. I think I have an adversion to throwing out food. Plus, I plan to be able to handle having them in the house at some point! Maybe on maintenance.

You "guys" rock, btw. I laughed and cried reading your responses.

I've decided to eat nothing but Medifast products in the prescribed manner and when I need to order more (end of May) I will get nothing but shakes. I'm upping the water and going to start a little walking during lunch at work. I did it a couple times last week and it was nice and warm out. Beautious.

As far as jumping a horse - I LOVE that feeling!!!! It only happened a couple of times, purely by coincidence of me and the horse being near a fallen tree, but it was like flying. I think the horse did it because it felt good to him too!

Made it through today....

Kat