by scatter » April 12th, 2009, 4:17 pm
Well, I mean seriously - if Cosby had the caffeinated pudding idea first, he would have done it. Jell-o already shakes like it's in there.
And yeah - I know I'll stall. Water weight can go up and down with mineral imbalance. Lean tissue is denser than fat, and I'd bet that activity changes can lead to brief bursts of surprising muscle gain. I won't freak out unless I'm deathly tired and think I have a metabolic problem. More likely, any stall of a few weeks will be the cue to add a few calories back in, and to start adding some gym activity. I'll admit I'm dreading that a bit. I'm more than willing to sail down into the 300s before I start showing my flabby ass around a gym. That means I have to stick to the Medifast if I don't want to start stalling early.
Why now? Huh. Good question. It's a confluence of things.
Some reading put me in the right mind to shoulder responsibility for pretty much everything I count on, and to develop the integrity to never promise myself things I won't follow through on. That's been an ongoing change for several years. I reckon I'd been acting like a big kid in a lot of ways. Seems like most men today are.
Past that, I'm an engineer and stubborn. I like dissecting, measuring, and experimenting. I don't like giving up. I've magnified these traits over the years, as I've advanced in my career.
And then a few weeks back, I broke my damned bed. It wasn't even by doing anything fun. I just jumped out of bed too quickly and ripped the support beam right off the siderail. Down one side went - I'd sheared those screws right off there, leaving a bit of destruction like King Kong leaping off a building.
Now, I've always been fat. I hit 300lbs in 4th grade, no joke. I've never been below 300 since... it's just something I've always been used to. Crazy as it may sound, I never really notice the weight. It's all I've ever known, so I don't have a point of experiential reference. But still... the bed thing was a bit unexpected. Totally broke my routine.
So I picked up a proper high-capacity scale, and I found I was a good sixty or seventy pounds from where I would have guessed. That sucked pretty mightily, and it made it clear that I'd just keep trending in that direction if I didn't deal with it in a conscious, deliberate fashion.
And so... mature accountability me, experienced engineer me, and confused-by-furniture-breakage me combine to realize that I've got to make this project time. And I've got to make it work, or I've got to admit that I really, really suck at being a man.
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