Sarya

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Sarya

Postby Sarya » June 13th, 2006, 9:39 am

Some days I'm not sure how I will ever be able to eat like this for months on end. I smell all of these foods that I adore and my body responds remembering them. I go to a party or a bbq and it nearly impossible for me to forgo the food present. I feel like I can't go to social functions because I am largely incapable of staying completely on plan. I really screwed up this past weekend by having a piece of cake at a party. I say I really screwed up because I feel like I'm back at day 1 as far as cravings go, and it makes me want to cry. Then I wonder.. is it just the cake wreaking havoc? I switched back to hormonal birth control last week. Maybe that has something to do with it.

I just wish WISH I could keep from wanting that stuff I shouldn't have. I am doing very well on saying no to emotional eating, but social eating? It is my albatross. I'm really down about it this week.

*sigh*

I just want to make it through the rest of this week (including the very busy social weekend :() without going off plan. I'm not sure how I am going to swing it. I'm going to be at an outdoor festival all day Saturday and then at a party in the evening. I feel like an addict. Maybe I need to enlist a friend who will be there all day to be my "sponsor" and keep me from eating off-plan.

bleh.

The weight is still coming off, but I don't like the thought that I end up straying from plan once almost every week. I don't binge. I don't overeat. I have a small "snack" of some type that is not on plan. I have to stop. I'm afraid that if I don't then 1 day with a messup will turn into two, three, four, oops why bother?

:oops:

My emotions are loopy looping this week more than usual. I'm sure that's the bc, but it doesn't change the situation.
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Postby Sarya » June 14th, 2006, 5:33 am

Well I made it through yesterday without going off-plan. I was so hungry throughout the day though. I've been doing some reading about my new bc (nuvaring), and I think that both my riding on the emotional rollercoaster and the food bandwagon are due in part to the hormonal change. I just hope it settles down soon! I was down another half pound this morning AND I fit comfortably into my smallest Lane Bryant jeans! I have a nice ole "muffintop" going on over the jeans, but heck it's much smaller than it used to be :D

I have four pairs of LB jeans that are all size 16. One pair is pretty large on me now, another pair is baggy, and the last two pairs are fitting nicely. They're all Venezia! I don't understand how come a brand can't even stick to the same sizing conventions and have to go all over the map. Why can't we have actual measurements on our pants like men do??
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Postby Sarya » June 16th, 2006, 6:28 am

Today starts week 7 and ends week 6. I've lost about 11% of my body weight in six weeks, and I am about 25% of the way towards my goal. I find that pretty amazing. I need to go to the store this week and buy some new clothes. None of my shorts fit and the last pair of capris I can safely wear are loose today. I take a lot of pictures of my face because I have a built-in webcam on my home computer. I've noticed a difference, but I don't think it's enough that most people will _really_ notice. Maybe I underestimate people, I dunno. But I do know that when I go home in July for my cousin's wedding that I want people to notice. It has always been my goal to be in onederland for the wedding, but I know that is highly unlikely. The wedding is in three weeks. It could happen. If I don't stray even once, and I'm very lucky. Four pounds a week is tough. Still.. it would be pretty sweet.

We have another cookout at work today. We have these once a month during the summer. I like to eat my L&G in the evening after work. I've eaten it during the day a few times, and that's all well and good, but yeah I want to avoid eating at this cookout. I hope I manage. Last night it was all I could think about.

I wish I understood why some of us struggle so much with food and our weight. It just seems like it's so easy for some people. Over the years I have resigned myself to my fate as a fat girl more than once, but I've never been happy with it. I tried so many different diets. I gained weight on ww. I lost like 2 pounds after being on jc for a month. I fluctuated constantly with sb, atkins, and every other random "diet" I found out there. I thought it was my metabolism. I really did. I'm not so sure of that anymore.

I mean, c'mon, I've lost 26.5 pounds in six weeks. six weeks! That is not the metabolism of a snail. There are a few things I have identified. I love soda. I am sure I underestimated my consumption of it. I love bread. I never really thought about it before. I would think I was having a healthy meal with my tomato and mozzarella salad. And it probably was until I ate half a loaf of bread with it. And pizza.. having four slices of pizza instead of 1 with a salad. And giving in to the pms monster with godiva. All said, I still feel that I didn't eat any more poorly than most of the usa. ouch.

I have a thin coworker who is on a diet. To him a diet means no snacks. But dinner is a huge plate of pasta and a bunch of bread. Lunch is a full meal larger than I currently eat at dinner. I'll still never understand how that works..

I just hope that I will have the strength to continue MF for the long haul and to keep the weight off once I hit transition. I don't want to be this size anymore. I don't want my knees and back to hurt all the time because of the weight they support. But it's hard! You all know it is. Giving up is easy, and I hope I don't fall into that.
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Postby DogMa » June 16th, 2006, 3:16 pm

Sarya, I, too, gained on WW and had stopped losing on pretty much everything else. I thought it was my metabolism; I still do, since even here I lose slowly. Just count yourself lucky that you found Medifast and it's working.

As for sticking to it long-term, I NEVER thought I'd last this long. But here I am a year later, still going strong (slow, but strong). Believe me, if I can do it, so can you. (But I'll grant you, social situations are still difficult for me, depending on the circumstances. A friend and I go to dinner? No problem. But work potluck or something? I stay at my desk.)

As for the weekly cheats, look at it this way. Before, you would have eaten those things every day - maybe more than once a day. Now you're down to once a week. So maybe try planning them, and spreading them out. Not "I'm never going to have that snack again." Instead, "I'm going to have an off-plan snack in two weeks, but not before." Then three weeks, then a month.
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Postby sidrah » June 16th, 2006, 6:35 pm

You're right. It is hard to see thin people diet and understand how both of you are on the same path. But still, 26 pounds is really good. And just project that over the next year and imagine.....
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Postby Sarya » June 17th, 2006, 5:50 am

Hah I can't even imagine! I try, but I can't. The only thing I can visualize is my 13 year old body at 140 pounds. I hope I don't look that gangly when I'm done :lol:

And Robin, you're right about the cheats. I'm thankful that I can keep myself on track most of the time. I'm also thankful that when I go off plan it's not by eating a whole pizza or half a cake but by having an _actual_ serving of food. I think that's the only reason why it hasn't affected my weight loss as much as it could have.

Today is going to be another one of those tough days. I am gearing up to stay as strong as possible and not stray. I want to make it through the entire weekend without a cheat.
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Postby SharonR » June 17th, 2006, 9:25 pm

Girl you are doing so great, congrats! We all love food or we won't be overweight and on this forum!! lol

I have a lot of fears just like you, I read your threads and I'm like...WOW...we are so much alike.

You're on your way and ahead of me! When did you actually start? I started May 1 and I have lost 23 pounds. Tomorrow is weigh in day.

Be strong! ( I need to take my own advise sometimes!!! )
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Start Weight 326.7 ~ My short term goal will put me at 250!

Started June 19th 2008. First Mini Goal 76.7 pounds.
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Postby Sarya » June 17th, 2006, 9:37 pm

I started May 5th. but within my first week I lost 14 pounds. So what can I say but I was pretty massively bloated because there's no way that was mostly (or even half) of a fat loss. I'm not terribly surprised though. Now that I'm getting used to MF I'm noticing what some of my really bad habits were that I didn't even know existed.

--S
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Postby Sarya » June 18th, 2006, 6:04 am

I feel a little beat up this morning. It was 90+ and humid yesterday, and we spent about 4 hours outside in the sun. Then last night my friends had a party.

My fingers feel swollen, my back is sore, my nose is sniffly. LOL. Welcome to summer I guess. I have a _great_ farmer's tan going on.

I gained back my tenuously lost half a pound from yesterday. I'm not even remotely surprised. I managed to get all of my meals in but barely. I got very dehydrated at one point and had to drink a ton of water. It was just so hot out! I also ended up eating six chips (two tortilla, two pringles, and two salt and vinegar) last night for a nice salt infusion before bed. oi.

The worst part of the party was when some of the other party goers were a little too ... uhm... combative/aggressive/annoying about my not drinking alcohol and not eating pie. I mean really.. I'm glad you made this pie that you think is fabulous, but I can't have it. And I'm sorry you can't accept "I can't have it, I'm sorry." and have to bug me and bug me for why. It was also very awkward for me to have people come up to me in the kitchen when I was preparing my shake and ask a million questions about what it was. It probably would have been less awkward if I hadn't already had to argue my need not to eat pie or drink a beer because the people who were curious were just that. curious. They weren't mean or rude about it. It's no wonder I ate 6 chips I guess.

I was going to have a party for my birthday, but I'm seriously considering changing it to a daytime bbq. I don't know that I am ready to deal with a bunch of people running around my house drinking and eating til all hours of the night. Not to mention the fact that you get fewer adjunct "guests" at a bbq than a party.

Eh I dunno..Maybe I'm just cranky this morning.
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Postby Sarya » June 19th, 2006, 7:34 am

My weight is ping-ponging again. Have I entered another plateau? I have a hypothesis about having plateaus so often. On those other diets you are lucky to lose a pound a week so it makes sense that you don't plateau all the time. Your body is adjusting while losing for the most part, but even slow losers plateau eventually. I think that since I'm losing weight so quickly I am more prone to plateaus to give my body time to assimilate changes. Which sucks because I have that goal coming up. But I've sort of known for weeks now I wouldn't hit it. It's just a little too aggressive. Plus I talked to my mom last night.. argh. Spending a week on vacation at her house is going to be tough. I know I'm going to go off plan. It will be virtually impossible not to. I will just have to do my best.

My moods have been very unstable this week. Yay for hormones. *sigh* I just get very irritated at stupid things. Between the new bc and the melting fat releasing estrogen I'm just a walking female time-bomb! whee.
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Postby DogMa » June 19th, 2006, 8:50 am

The hormones could be responsible for the plateau, too. I think some of us are more sensitive to the estrogen release in that way.
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Postby Sarya » June 19th, 2006, 9:38 am

I am terribly sensitive to estrogen :/ I'm on lexapro to try to combat the wicked mood swings I get from my hormones fluctuating. It's a can't live with/can't live without scenario. I spent a few years where my body wasn't producing much of any estrogen. I wasn't getting my period and hair was growing where it shouldn't. :shock: I had to go on the pill to regulate my period, but that made me swing like mad right in sync with the phase changes of the bc pills. So I went off hormonal bc and have just dealt with the problem for years (using an iud for birth control). I recently had the iud taken out and went on the ring because it's so low in hormones and is single phase. I am hoping that the emotional upset will calm down as my body adjusts to the additional hormones.
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Postby DogMa » June 19th, 2006, 9:41 am

Wow. You know, maybe that IS part of it. I've never been able to take b/c pills or hormones because they mess me up so much. But I started going through perimenopause around 30 (when no one believed me) and I was completely done with periods by 40.

So maybe that IS part of the problem for us.
Robin

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Postby Sarya » June 20th, 2006, 5:58 am

This day started out on a nice enough note only to go downhill sharply. I lost a pound this morning. So much for not looking at the scale for a week. :? sigh. I even got out of the house early to get to work.

Then I somehow ran a redlight that I swear was green. I argued with the cop. I couldn't find my proof of insurance. I ended up getting cited for "not fully paying attention". Ok so at least it's not the red light citation, but not fully paying attention makes me just feel like a total pillowcase. Not to mention the fact that I could only find proof of insurance from 2004. And then (even though this doesn't matter to the cop) I realized that I have my car registrations for 99, 02, 03, 04, and 05, but not 06.

I got into work and there is a table in the middle of our area covered with boxed from Dunkin Donuts. I ran to my desk and proceeded to try to make a drink. I exploded sprite zero all over myself.

There is a huge knot/crick/something in my right shoulderblade which is making that whole side of my upper back and my neck stiff and sore.

I screwed up one of my contacts, and I don't have any lens solution with me.

I still haven't had one of the donuts. But I feel like an ass for the intermittent and completely uncontrollable crying. at least it's better than a donut.

I wish this day had a rewind button.
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Postby Nova » June 20th, 2006, 9:00 am

Wish I could find a nice pic of a bouquet of flowers, because you sound like you could use one this morning. That's what I've been doing instead of food. I've been buying flowers and perfume and room scents, so that I have something nice to look at and smell that's not food. Tell your donut-buying coworkers to pick you up a flower next time they bring in donuts!

So here's a virtual bouquet of roses to make you smile. :)
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