The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Sarya]

I love Vegas! I'm jealous

[Sarya]

I've noticed since I've lost weight that I stick my legs up underneath me a lot more when I'm sitting in a chair. I'm not sure if that's interesting or not.

I wonder what all the reasons are for why I don't date. I suspect somewhere in there is the "who is going to want to date me? I'm not attractive." thought. Although I do sometimes think I am attractive. Much more so now than 45 pounds ago.

I feel like I've been at this spot in my weight loss forever now.

[wildtrk]

I wonder what all the reasons are for why I don't date.

My wife is the reason I use for not dating anymore.

[Sarya]

I don't have one of those as a reason though!

[Sarya]

Today will be my 6th day in a row of being completely on-plan. Yay go me! I'm always happy when my body cooperates with me.

You know what confuses me? I measure my waist with my tape measure. I measure where my pants go (it's easy to tell since there is a line of darker skin there and it goes in slightly. I measure above that where the "muffin top" is. I measure above that where they consider your natural waist to be. (like 2-3 inches below my breasts I think). All of these measurements are nearly the same, but they certainly don't look like it! I just don't understand how this is possible.

I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day, and I swear that my belly is shrinking though. I really think my muffin top used to droop over and make my belly button squish into a line, but now it sort of makes a \ above my belly button.

Also, from the front, I think I'm really starting to see that curve that some women have in their torsos where that "natural" waist is. It gives me hope. Maybe I will have a waist someday afterall.

My roommate's gf is overweight as well, and is following her own diet. I'll tell you though that for an obese women she has a hell of a waist. I've always sort of wished I did too, but then I heard belly fat is easier to get rid of than hip fat so maybe I should count my blessings.

Still.. it's interesting to give her my old clothes then see her in them. meow; they definitely look _completely_ different on her than on me.

[Sarya]

Better sooner rather than later, but I just had the worst pilates class ever. I left after about 10 minutes of actual pilates (if you can call it that). In tears no less. I'm still crying and the class is almost over.

First of all the instructor had us do neck rolls and shit. Uhm.. hello stretch on your own time. It was like aerobics. Then we hopped on to the reformer and HELLO AM I IN THE WRONG CLASS? I COULD SWEAR THIS IS AERBOBICS ON A REFORMER. She didn't check my form once. She didn't explain the exercises. The only alternative I was given for doing the exercises was so lie in the 100. WTF KISS MY ***.

I am so upset right now. So upset. I'm so glad she wasn't my first instructor because I would have left without ever looking back. That's not pilates; that some bastardized version of pilates and aerobics thrown together.

so upset... soooo upset. I just want to go to bed.

[Sarya]

I'm still feeling really down and out today. MY weight is pingponging. so annoying. It jumped up again this morning so I ignored it.

I'm still upset about yesterday. There are a lot of things that make this suck. 1. she's the only instructor who teaches regularly at the times that work best for me. 2. she's the only instructor for any of the classes on the days that work best for me (even when the times don't)

So what this ends up meaning to me is that I have to change my schedule such that I am working out on completely different days. My eating schedule is pretty strictly regimented which I'm sure is the same for a lot of you. Well, the only available classes (assuming she won't be teaching them. I'm waiting to hear back) are right during my dinner time which means I'm going to have to really screw with my schedule on the days I go to class.

I'm just generally unhappy about this whole thing.

Alot of crap has happened this week, and it's really brought me down. I took a vacation day tomorrow just so I can spend one day not thinking.

[Lauren]

Hey, Sarya, sorry the pilates instructor sucked. It happens, right? The thing is, you kind of have to find some humor that you're in such a good diet/exercise state that your pilates class made you cry. Come on. A little funny, right? :-) Did you ever imagine that a few months ago you'd even have gone to pilates, let alone CARED about the quality of the instructor enough to make you cry?

Just take a deep breath, laugh a little at the complete change your life has taken and shift your schedule. I am pretty routine with my eating, but I shift it around all the time to accomodate new plans. It's amazing how tweaking things even by 1/2 hour can make a schedule work better. Don't let it get you all down and out.

One last suggestion: when you're not feeling as frustrated, perhaps you'd consider talking to this shi**y instructor and telling her what you really love about pilates and would she consider incorporating that into more of her classes? Sometime if they think someone gives a crap, they'll adjust.

Just a thought.

Lauren

[Sarya]

It is sort of funny (sort of ) that the pilates thing made me cry.

Now that I'm more coherent I'll give a little explanation. When I was talking to the other instructors about the group classes they all mentioned that "wednesdays and fridays" were hard. That the people who were in the class had been going for a long time and the class had certain things about it directly related to how these women liked it. But now see.. the instructors were vague. I think they were trying to be PC by not coming right out and telling me how different it truly was. I am going to make a strong suggestion to the owner next time I see him that beginners are discouraged from taking those classes and that new people get an explanation of how they are different so that they don't end up in my position.

I got another vague comment last night which suggested that only a subset of people like the way that instructor works. Which is okay.. I mean, it's a decent amount of people and obviously they make money from those classes, but again.. it's just so different.
argh. I dunno.

In other news; this has been a very emotionally trying and stressful week for me both due to work and personal issues (including this pilates thing). I'm not happy about it but I fought the pizza and the pizza won about an hour ago. It's horrible because it was completely an issue of emotional eating, and I knew that as I sat there and tried to reason my way out of eating it. This was definitely a cheat. Eating for emotions doesn't fit my definition of "eating off plan". The crappy thing is that it has calmed my emotions some therefore it "was successful". But now I have the backlash of having to get back in ketosis after just re-entering it.. and having the slowed weight loss. again. I'm mixed in my feelings about it. At least I didn't eat an obscene amount of pizza. I ate the equivalent of a NY slice I guess which was somewhere under 1/4 of a pizza. so I guess that's a small victory. I could have had more, there's plenty left. But I didn't. I ate until I was satisfied and stopped.

I have mental issues related to this lapse that I have to work out. I wasn't hungry. I had just (and I mean JUST) finished a shake.

I have lingering feelings in my head that I failed at the pilates because I wasn't good enough or I wasn't thin enough and that I never will be. (even though I also think on some level that this is just mental self sabotage and not at all rooted in reality)

I also have lingering feelings in my head that I'm going to fail at my diet. That I'll never be able to stay compliant long enough. Or that it will drag on and on forever because I eat something I shouldn't.

I've been fighting the depressive mood swing all week, but I lost the battle last night with the pilates thing and it really messed with me. I know I have to just keep on trucking. I know I've been successful. I know I will continue to be. I'm sad that I think it's just going to get harder from here on out. I've never been on a diet this long. I have to assume it's harder to fight the cravings because it's been so long that I haven't eaten that food regularly. So then I wonder will it happen that I won't crave this food anymore, or will it continue to be one of my all time favorite foods? (pizza)

I think I could have avoided the pizza if it was not sitting on the table in front of me for the entirety of a half hour meeting. Where I had to smell it's goodness the whole time. By the time the meeting was over I just couldn't get up and walk away. My willpower gave out on me. That's upsetting.

I could probably pick my brain about this all day. Luckily I'm too busy at work because I don't think dwelling on it is healthy either.

[GucciGoo]

Carrie, you and I would get along so well. The pizza won my battle about 20 minutes ago. I didn't even fight a tough battle. I want to be 125 for Christmas as a gift to myself, but I have to start behaving too.

[Sarya]

Pizza is a killer. I'm still thinking about it even though I've been trying not to. Work is super busy and that's not even getting my mind off of it! I'm much more okay when I choose to eat off plan, not when the food wins!

I really wanted to be "normal" (for me that would be 154 or less) weight by Thanksgiving, but I really don't know if that goal is realistic anymore (or if it even was) which is disappointing. I really wanted to wow my family.

[wildtrk]

I really wanted to wow my family.

If you can't get to 154 maybe you could learn a magic trick?

[Sarya]

hey that's a thought!

I should remember that it will still wow them no matter what, because I don't thikn I'm going to spend the next three months at 192, but I just wanted to not be "overweight". Either way I am "obese" now and like 10 pounds less than when they last saw me. I'll still be noticeably thinner when the holidays roll.

I'm being silly. I worry too much. It's normal. or something

I splurged on steak and bought a dry aged strip steak for dinner. I hope I do it justice. I'm just cooking it on the foreman but maybe I should forgoe the spice rub? Dunno.

[Sarya]

I'm feeling better today. I took today off from work to shake the horrible week off. I slept in late; got up, did dishes, drank a shake. My back is feeling better. I didn't mention it yesterday but I think I hurt myself a little in that terrible pilates class because my lower back was in so much pain all day yesterday. I can see where it could have happened too. I'm glad I didn't go to pilates or my massage yesterday. I am going to pilates tomorrow morning though. I'm looking forward to it.

So last night I cooked that aged beef on the foreman. First of all aged beef cooks way faster than unaged so my steak was medium instead of medium rare. But it was soooo tender. The texture completely changes with the aging as does the taste. interesting. Tonight I'm back to my typical round cut.

I don't have any plans for the holiday weekend which suits me fine. I have a lot of stuff to get done around the house.

[GucciGoo]

Carrie- I don't get it. You cheat almost as much as me, why have you lost 40 pounds since our start date, and I only lost 20???