The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Carrie]

I thought today I would share a little ‘event’ that happened to me last weekend – it kinda encompasses all the changes that my success in weight loss have brought me.

I mentioned in another post that I’ve been dating someone (be still my beating heart). This in and of itself has been a roller coaster ride emotionally. I used my weight to hide from getting close to anyone, and (GULP!) now here’s a man that wants to spend time with me, and I want to spend time with him. YIKES BATMAN!!!! I can say that the self-confidence I have gained by losing 60 pounds has given me the courage to see what happens without completely freaking out.

(As a little tangent, my family has been harping on me to stop wearing my shapeless, tent-like tops and wear tops that actually fit. I went shopping with my cousin and whined and complained but tried on everything she told me to, and came away with 5 new tops – all figure-hugging. I can tell you I feel NAKED in them.)

Anyway, on the Friday night in question, I was invited to the gentleman in questions houseboat. I was wearing my size 18 gloria vanderbilts and one of my scarifyingly fitted tops. We decided it was a nice night to go up on the roof and watch the stars. Now. I had imagined a nice set of stairs leading up to an open landing on the roof. Uh uh. What there was was a ladder leading to a small oval-shaped hole!!! The length of the oval was ok, but the width was maybe, MAYBE a foot apart.

I stopped in horror staring at the opening, instantaneously realizing that I was not going to fit and was going to humiliate myself beyond all belief by having to admit this. I mean, HORRIFIED mortification. While my mind was frantically whirling, my date (whom I must say is a FINE physical specimen) was agilely lifting himself through the hatch and once seated, looked down at me expectantly offering his hand.

I froze. Have a go and hope for the best or admit it right up front????? I eyed the opening again, gritted my teeth and started up the ladder. Everything was ok till we got to my not-so-small behind. Uh-oh, stuck. I started to say something and he said ‘Oh please, just get up here.’ So I sucked in my breath, pushed myself up through the hole, twisted around and promptly sat in a puddle of water. I sat there, in the puddle, in stunned disbelief, and could’ve squealed with delight, but casually passed it off as though I hadn’t thought a thing about it. Wet pants and all, it was a spectacular evening, nice sea breeze, lots of stars, cute guy, AND I FIT THROUGH THE HATCH!!!

Never would’ve happened even a month ago. And for me the weight loss and shrinking body is a very nice byproduct. The most important thing is that that bold, outspoken, confident, enthusiastic girl I used to be is getting the chance to come out again. She isn’t smothered anymore. The fears that I was covering up by eating had metamorphosed and grown into a bigger range of things to be scared of. And they start to lose their power when you take control of your life back and live with respect for yourself and your body. My fears are fading, and life is more positive than it has been in a very, very long time - and it’s because doing this, Medifast, is a way of loving myself and doing what is best for me and when you do that, when you practice loving yourself, it reinforces the intention to love yourself and wanting to take care of yourself.

I wouldn't have made it this far without Medifast and this forum, my wonderful friends here. I wouldn’t trade this for all the food and ‘comfort’ in the world. Now I live EVERY day, I do what I want, including climbing ladders and slithering through houseboat hatches. Because I can.

No better feeling in the world.

Carrie

[Sylvia]

Carrie,

It was great to see this kind of message from you. You have come such a long way and I am so happy for you!

I bet that hole wasn't such a tight squeeze now was it? What I also find interesting is how difficult it is to change your perception of yourself. For example, I was talking to someone today who briefly and unsuccessfully tried MF (just wasn't ready yet). She asked me what size I was wearing and I told her a 10. In my mind, when I tell people I'm wearing a size 10, I imagine they're thinking, "come on - you couldn't be wearing a 10, you're still fat". Instead she said, " really - I would have guessed smaller" This isn't someone who would just say it and not mean it.

Just a long way of saying that even though you are seeing tangible results of your weight loss every day, it takes your mind a while to catch up to the changes that are already evident in your body!

Keep up all of the positive work!

[LongWay2go]

How true Sylvia! Even though I'm still over 400 pounds, these first 60 lost have made a huge difference in my life. Not only am I able to get out and about now, my clothes are just hanging off me. My shirts that came to my waist when I started are hanging down to my knees now. My pants keep falling off if I don't hang on to them. Still, I'm resisting buying anything new even though I got a bunch of gift cards for clothing for my birthday. I put on my winter coat the other day when I went out early one morning (it was 32 degrees!) and my hands didn't even stick out the bottom of the sleeves. I may well have to drag out the sewing machine and do some altering before I can go to the Big & Tall store in my current "drapes". hehe

~Gerald

[Sylvia]

Gerald,

You need to develop a meaningful relationship with a tailor who can help your current clothes keep up with your shrinking body. At some point, probably well before your goal, you will need to buy new ones, but some interim tailoring is probably the most cost-effective solution.

S

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Carrie,

That's such happy news! You deserve every bit of happiness. It just makes me smile as you're in for so many more joys to come. Life is so short, we might as well be happy!

Camille

[Carrie]

Sylvia and Camille,

Thank you!

I think it's funny that though I am looking at myself in the mirror every chance I get, I still have no idea of where I truly am size wise. When I go look for clothes, I pick out stuff that's too big and too small, I'm all over the place!

My pilates for weight loss should be arriving any day now and I am looking forward to starting that and trimming up some of this flab. And to the continued journey DOWN in size, I haunt the clearance racks right now.

Camille, you are absolutely right. Life is too short to spend it any way other than enjoying it. I wasted too many years hiding behind fat.

Carrie

[Sylvia]

I think you will like pilates. This is my third week doing it and I have seen a difference already! I have always had a large waist relative to the rest of my body but have noticed some recent changes - my pants are actually getting big in the waist! I also saw my obliques this morning for the first time in so many years I can't even count. Exercise really has more of a noticeable impact when there aren't layers upon layers of fat covering your muscles!

[RavenKat]

What a great post Carrie!!! I'm so happy for you!

Kat

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Carrie. What a beautiful story, so full of success and hope and courage to live a happy life, after all. You are striding towards the future, my dear, and you're doing great!! Glad to be part of any group that's contributed to your success. May we all continue doing well together.

[Lois]

Carrie,

THANK YOU for sharing your wonderful story with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love and hugs,

Lois

[SusannaRosannaDanna]

Carrie I totally want to HUG YOU! LOL

I'm so, so happy for you, really. I never knew I could be so happy about the weight loss and other victories on a message board of "strangers", but I'm telling you, reading your post just made the joy well up in me--I'm SO happy for you!


Susanna

[Carrie]

Ladies - FRIENDS,

Thank you. Isn't this forum a wonderful place???

I *KNOW* I wouldn't still be here trying without you. If I hadn't had someplace to go and talk about it - whine about it - complain about it - decide to do something about it - I simply wouldn't have lost this much weight, and started to feel self-confidence again.

GROUP HUG!!!!!

:hug::hug:

Carrie

[Nancy]

Carrie,

I just read about your rooftop star gazing slithering through the houseboat roof hatch experience with that (ahem!) Studly cool dude and I have tears in my eyes and a soy lump in my throat.

THIS is what it is all about! Those of you that are reading the Forum and thinking about going off of your program, stick with it!

Do NOT give up. Some of us have a LONG way to go to get to our goal weight but you OWE IT TO It is not easy but Medifast makes it easier and faster than ANYTHING else in the whole world!

Sylvia, you are so right, too...it takes a long time for the mind to catch up with our bodies. I am really happy for you to be so close to your goal.

[24KaratGold]

I'm reading through some old posts tonight, and found this one. It is SO inspiring. If it's kosher to do so, I'd like to nominate that it be moved to the Elevator!

Carrie, you are definitely an inspiration!

[raederle]

24K-- thank you for moving this post back up! As a newbie, I hadn't even noticed it was here. When I read it, I practically cried. Thank you, Carrie, for posting that terrific story! It captured all the awful & wonderful feelings that this journey brings so eloquently... I think you should consider a second career as a novelist! Perhaps a new genre of "Inspirational Fiction"?