The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Mike]

Brenda,

Just catchin up on the past few days in your journal. Sounds like an eventful time in the loft... I can totally relate. I grew up around alfalfa fiends and I know how daunting the loft can be, eve with a ladder.

As for the personality disorder, I find it to be a good sign that you feel open enough on here to discuss that. Kudos to you.

Keep chuggin' along and things will get better, on all fronts.

[CGal67]

I have been sewing for the last few days which is a form of therapy for me. I just love to start with a flat piece of fabric (or 2 or 3 or more) and create something new from it/them. Most recently, I have been working on a quilt for Deanna for Christmas. She has developed a love for the zebra and its coat pattern recently so I decided to make this for her...




I am very happy with the way it has come out so far. I still need to put the boarders on then "sandwich" it and quilt it, but I couldn't wait that long to show it off.

Tell me what ya think!

I love your blanket/quilt!! You do great work. Do you sell them? I saw a few items at a bazaar recently that weren't near as nice as this piece of work.

You are pretty talented!

Carrie

[rodeomom]

I love your blanket/quilt!! You do great work. Do you sell them? I saw a few items at a bazaar recently that weren't near as nice as this piece of work.

You are pretty talented!

Carrie

Aww, thanks Carrie. I would sell them if someone wanted to order one, but after my experience with my purses I don't think I will make them up ahead of time. There are many hours worth of work that go into making one right and I just don't want to get so involved then get stuck with them.

[rodeomom]

As for the personality disorder, I find it to be a good sign that you feel open enough on here to discuss that. Kudos to you.
Keep chuggin' along and things will get better, on all fronts.

Thanks for stoppin by Mike and for the Kudos. Borderline is so misunderstood by so many people that it can be intimidating to talk about sometimes. Right now it and the fibro are just really making my life difficult. I am reaching that point where I just don't want even think about getting out of bed. I force myself to get up though, because if I don't I know things will just get worse.

[rodeomom]

Well, as much as I didn't want to get up this morning, I did. After I got my barn chores finshed I headed into town to pick up some perscriptions. Had to go to the farm store for some supplies, I love it when I have to lift a 50 pound "something" today it was salt blocks for the horses. WOW! I have lost that much and then some. One of the ladies in the store said I was skinny! HUH? Me? Skinny? Well, not yet, but I am thinner than I was before. I just smiled, said "Thank you" and left it at that.

Got home and decided to carry some more firewood from the shed to the porch. Didn't really need it yet, but I needed the workout. Because of my fibro I HAVE to move, I mean really move or I will pay for it later. Funny, most people get sore if they work out - I suffer severe pain if I don't get some kind of work out. Go figure. At least now that I have lost 65+ pounds getting that work out isn't nearly as difficult.

Now that I have gotten my blood pumping I am ready to settle into the sewing mode. Time for a shake, then I will sit and cut out my Christmas Jammies for the hospital and the strips for my sister's quilt. If I have time, I will also get my neices' skirts cut out so I can just sew up a storm tomorrow. I am finding that if I put my goals in writing, I am more apt to accomplish them.

Ok - off to get my shake.

[ChynnaDoll]

Oh what a GREAT NSV you got this morning!!!!...feels so good huh?...you'll be getting more and more of that as time goes by girl.

Thanks for writing back in my journal. I see you take Ultram..how good is that!...unfortunately i can't take it wish i could, but it makes me sick to the stomach:+(..the only thing i seem to be able to take without getting nauseous is 800mg Motrin, and alot of people don't understand i can take THAT drug and especially the numerous times a day i have to take it without it bothering my stomach..but as long as it works i'm HAPPY! Now i'm just the opposite when it comes to moving with my Fibro..seems to aggravate it even more..you're so lucky!

Well, sounds like you got'a nice plan of activities mapped out. Did i hear you mention hospital??...for what may i ask?

Ok seems like i've been on here for hours and i truly have...LOL!...ttyl!

Chynna~

[lifelovinaries]

hey bren...i must admit i had never heard of borderline until you mentioned it. i decided to google it to try and understand your situation a little better. Mental issues are not anything to be ashamed of. After googling and reading about it, i was able to understand (a little more) your actions/reactions to situations you are going thru now. Just know that it is your disorder that has you down. Keep doing your best to plug along and don't be afraid to seek any help that you might need right now. Lots of things can help you get thru and make things seem a little brighter. Everything works out in the end, if it has not worked out, it is not the end yet! Keep your head up. I wish you health...and i digress.

I think your daughter will fully appreciate the quilt. it may be hard for 16 year olds to understand LOTS of things but hey...that's life. She knows that when you are able, you do many things for her. Unfortunately, if you are not able, you just can't. We all need to focus on family and love as opposed to gifts and material items. There are so many things that we take for granted which we don't realize until we get older. Even if she doesn't realize it now, she will one day realize that you have always done the best that you were able to do with the resources (whether physical, emotional or financial) that you had/have.

[rodeomom]

Hey Erica - You are speaking the truths that I already knew and needed to hear so thank you. Teenagers are so in the here and now. She is very upset right now because her driver's license was suspended yesterday due to an accident she had. The judge was very nice and tried everything he could to help her out because he really understood that it was clearly an accident and wasn't because she was goofing off or anything. Unfortuneately, there are mandatory minimums in Ohio for underage drivers so he had to suspend it until April. She is crushed. The only good news is that she is allowed to drive as if she had her permit so she won't miss snowboarding because even though my ankle surgery will keep me from driving her to the slopes, I can still ride with her.

Someone here on MMT has actually contacted me about helping me for Christmas. My own personal Santa so to speak. This person has asked to be allowed to send a gift card for Deanna from Santa. I don't know how much the card will be for, but whatever it is I am truely blessed that God sent me this special angel to help.

[rodeomom]

Since I know there are MANY people who will see this journal and not have any clue as to what the "Borderline Personality Disorder" is and what people who suffer with it go through, I thought I would give a bit of info on it. The disorder is an extreme to what is considered the "Mercurial Personality", this personality is described in a very helpful book entitled "The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love, and Act the Way You Do" the following is a quote from the book.

"Description: Life is a roller coaster for those with the Mercurial personality style -- and they'll insist you come along for the ride. From the peaks to the valleys, intensity imbues their every breath. Mercurial women and men yearn for experience, and they jump into a new love or a new lifestyle with both feet, without even a glance backward. No other style, the Dramatic included, is so ardent in its desire to connect with life and with other people. And no other style is quite so capable of enduring the changes in emotional weather that such a fervidly lived life will bring.

Romantic attachment: Mercurial individuals must always be deeply involved in a romantic relationship with one person.
Intensity: They experience a passionate, focused attachment in all their relationships. Nothing that goes on between them and other people is trivial, nothing taken lightly.
Heart: They show what they feel. They are emotionally active and reactive. Mercurial types put their hearts into everything.
Unconstraint: They are uninhibited, spontaneous, fun-loving, and undaunted by risk.
Activity: Energy marks the Mercurial style. These individuals are lively, creative busy, and engaging. They show initiative and can stir others to activity.
Open mind: They are imaginative and curious, willing to experience and experiment with other cultures, roles, and value systems and to follow new paths.
Alternate states: People with Mercurial style are skilled at distancing or distracting themselves from reality when it is painful or harsh. "

Borderline is basically an exageration of the above described Mercurial Personality. As you can imagine, this disorder can be very difficult to live with. Some of you talk about PMS and mood swings... I live it every day. Another place to find info about borderline is at http://www dot stanford dot edu/~corelli/borderline dot html

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[bikipatra]

I have borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder and bouts of psychotic depression. I understand. I spent my 21st birthday in a psych ward. My second wedding anniversary in a psych ward. I've spent Thanksgiving in a psych ward. My sister says I must like them since I go so often. I only went once this year .

[lifelovinaries]

My sister says I must like them since I go so often. I only went once this year .

jeez biki, do you have to make me chuckle at a SERIOUS situation...Sorry but just the way you stated it... i hope your sister said it jokingly!

[queenielou]

Hey Rodeomom,

I meant to post this earlier, but one of my most treasured possessions is an afghan my mom made for my when I was 17 and away at a summer program. I think your daughter will appreciate the hard work you put into the quilt - maybe not this Christmas, but soon enough. My mom has Parkinson's and is pretty immobile now, so knowing that I have something she made for me is really special. I don't let anyone touch my afghan except the dry cleaners. She worked on it everyday after she got off of work that summer so every time I see it, I know each stitch was made to show me how much she loved me. Hopefully your daughter will think of her quilt the same way. Hope you have a great day tomorrow!

And whoever is the secret Santa for Deanna, bless you! You have reminded me that Christmas isn't just about our own family but it's about giving period.

Oh and Erica - Biki is the best, isn't she?

[bikipatra]

My sister says I must like them since I go so often. I only went once this year .

jeez biki, do you have to make me chuckle at a SERIOUS situation...Sorry but just the way you stated it... i hope your sister said it jokingly!

She wasn't trying to be rude, she was just stating what she thought appeared to be a fact. She screams when she is being rude, and she didn't scream. What I think is so funny is now my mom and sister are both on antidepressants when I was the only "crazy" one in the family for years and they thought that medicine was crap!

[bikipatra]

Oh and Erica - Biki is the best, isn't she?

Awwww..... Thank you. Hugs to you both.

[ChynnaDoll]

Good Morning to you Brenda. I hope today will be a very good one for you, and thank you for sharing that information on "borderline"..now people that have NO idea of what you experience mostly everyday can truly understand.

Chynna~