Rodeomom

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Postby rodeomom » January 17th, 2008, 12:39 pm

Man! I have missed you Chy!!! Thank you for your prayers for Alicia. She was in surgery the other day and had 2 liters of fluid removed from her lungs. She has asked for no visitors and I want to respect that, I also want to see her too.

Thanks for the congrats on the pants. I was suprised with that because working the program has not been a priority for me the last couple of months. Yesterday I was getting ready for my first date in ohhhh, about 5 YEARS and as I was doing my hair I noticed that my face seems thinner. There must be something to that, because I am the last to notice the losses in myself.

The date went well, he seems like a nice guy. Who knows....?
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby ChynnaDoll » January 19th, 2008, 3:39 pm

How are you doing, and how is your girlfriend doing?...just checking!

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Postby rodeomom » January 19th, 2008, 7:20 pm

Hi Chy, thanks for checkin on me. Sent you a PM
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby ChynnaDoll » January 22nd, 2008, 3:43 pm

Missing you my friend...hope you are doing alright.

Love'ya
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Postby lifelovinaries » January 22nd, 2008, 3:50 pm

just dropping in to say :wave: Surprised you haven't been here!
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Postby katieb920 » January 23rd, 2008, 6:44 pm

Hiya My friend,

Just making sure everything is okay. <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_205.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D16%252F16_3_205/image.gif">
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Postby bikipatra » January 24th, 2008, 6:04 am

Good Morning! Hope you are doing well.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
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Postby ChynnaDoll » January 24th, 2008, 12:08 pm

Come out come'out wherever you are lady!!!...we MISS you:+)

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Postby rodeomom » January 24th, 2008, 12:28 pm

Hi all, I am here and OK. Just dealing with some stuff and not sure how to express myself right now. Thanks for checking in on me.
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby queenielou » January 24th, 2008, 1:13 pm

Hey Brenda,

I hope that you're ok. Take your time with expressing yourself and take care of yourself first. Sending you good thoughts and well wishes.
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Postby rodeomom » January 25th, 2008, 8:41 am

Thank you Queenie! I mentioned earlier in my journal my fight with Borderline Personality Disorder (if anyone wants to investigate it feel free to Google or look in my earlier posts for website info). Basically, my emotions run amuk in a sense. I cannot feel something a little bit, just like a woman cannot be a little bit pregnant. Sometimes, like now, I go through an "emotional overload" when even good emotions are a struggle to deal with. This, coupled with my fibromyalgia actually causes me physical pain. I know it is hard to understand, and I don't expect anyone to, that is why I have kept quiet for a while.

I am now dating a super guy (first time dating at all since 1997) and I am unsure about my feelings around that/him. I am also dealing with a very ill friend who will very likely die soon from cancer. In addition, I have pressures from many other areas of life. Most people can take all of this in, process it and let it go. With Borderline, I tend to internalize everything.

This is when I usually head for Dairy Queen or the donut shop to numb myself from feeling stuff so intensely. I haven't done that so I am being forced to "Feel" all of these things. My therapy counselor is unavailable to me anymore and I don't want to go through the process of "training" a new one all about me. So this is the first time I am having to deal with this without my talk therapy AND without my food. Needless to say I am struggling. I watch the clock just waiting for the next time I can eat. Even though I am not hungry, I want to EAT. Can you believe it - only someone as crazy as me would be able to turn MF supplements into an emotional crutch. Then, only I would feel guilty about doing that which spirals me even deeper.

Well --- you get the point.

I am sorry to dump, but I needed to get it out. Thanks to all who checked in on me. It did make me feel missed and special.
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby holberry » January 25th, 2008, 8:48 am

Hey that's alot you are dealing with, regardless of any disease.
please take care and pm me if you want.
xxoo
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Postby rodeomom » January 25th, 2008, 9:08 am

Thanks Holberry - knowing that someone is willing to listen is a great help. I will try not to dump too much on ya at one time. :D
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby rodeomom » January 25th, 2008, 4:04 pm

Since the scale isn't showing the numbers I want to see, I decided to take some photos. I can see a difference in myself since the last set. Putting on the make up and doing my hair gave me a lift so it was worth it.

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09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby lifelovinaries » January 25th, 2008, 4:08 pm

WOW brenda! How much more weight have you lost since your red suit pics? Your waist looks so small. WTG girl, almost 80lbs, you look great!
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