The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[sudaoning]

I am once more amazed at the importance we place on food in all our socializing and recreating. You know....Come over for dinner. Let's have a movie and popcorn.......get together for a cook out........have a carry in....dinner party...... go to out to eat...etc. etc.........I have loved in recent years to have family and friends over for food-centered socializing. Now I seem lost. You know????? Almost reclusive. (not that that would be so bad in the short term). I will invite friends over and what on earth will we do with out gathering round a table laden with goodies???? AND I am wanting to avoid as much as possible events where food is the glue holding the gathering together.

[Nancy]

Great comments and a good question, Sudaoning!


Initially when I started Medifasting I just couldn't go out with friends. I waited until I had been on my program for a few weeks and felt like I was able to handle being around food. Then when I was ready, I met friends at Starbuck's for coffee and we chatted it up. I met friends at Barnes and Noble and we chatted and had coffee. We invited friends over to play table games and I served iced drinks. I used those frosty glasses and mugs that you keep in the freezer. The glasses are opaque so the contents are mysteries! I had water, I served only veggies with onion dip. First of all, onion dip is not my fave - my breath was so skanky in the early stages of Medifasting that I wasn't tempted to stink it up even more by having dip! My veggie tray included olives, celery, brocc, radishes, zucchini spears, pickles and cauliflower. I occasionally had a piece of celery and a pickle or two. I kept score if we were playing a table game to keep my fingers busy. I kept the veggie tray full so was up and about touching food but many times, others never noticed that I wasn’t eating it myself.

When we went to Kauai, THAT WAS HARD! We went to the Kauai Cookie Co. and I didn't have any - Oh, I WANTED them, but I didn't have 'em. I just kept telling myself that nothing tastes as good as thin feels. It kept me focused.

Some people MAY very well have felt uncomfortable that I was not eating the same things that they were eating. Some may have been BUGGED that I did not eat what they were eating. I know it bugged the puckies outta an acquaintance of mine that I would have 'just a cup of tea' while she ate a full meal - and I mean a FULL meal! I believe it bugged her because she SHOULD have been doing what I was doing and yet she refused to do it.

Often times I drank pots of hot water while others ate full meals.

My close friends were happy for my success and they never pressured me to eat stuff I didn't want to.

I was resolved to lose the flabbage. No matter what.

I am resolved to keep it off. No matter what.

If your friends are close, tell them that this is very important to you and that you request their support and encouragement, Tell them HOW they can support you best. Sometimes your friends WANT to be of help but they don’t know what to do. Tell them if you want them to ask you about your weight loss. Tell them if you want them to prepare something special for you.

If others are merely acquaintances and they pressure you to eat or drink things that are not good for you, dump 'em!

Maybe dump 'em temporarily and maybe forever - you do not need to spend your valuable health, your valuable well being and your valuable time with people that do not value you. If you allow that kind of person to sway you to eat inappropriate food, then you care more for their well-being and feelings than for your own family's and yours. You care more for their feelings than you care for your very life! Is it worth dying for? Uh, uh!

[DutchChoc]

Such great posts!! Thanks for the descriptions of more ways to navigate these (mostly) Medifast waters. I faced a similar situation yesterday, the going-out-to-eat party this wasn't "my" party. Many times in the start-up phase of my fast, I encouraged shorter-than-usual trips out to do errands, knowing I didn't want to get stuck out too long/away from home. I sometimes took a drink with me in case. Seems yesterday I was privy to my first "tolerance session" while the rest of my famiy ate a full meal at a restaurant and I had "only" my decaf. Driving up to the place to see if it was open (I knew it would be), I was thinking, "Is he really going to DO this to me?" and feeling a bit of a pitty party coming on. I was somewhat anxious about going in. I even looked over the whole menu and contemplated having a salad -- which would've been only the appetizer, most likely. I decided on decaf only. As time went on and the bread came and the salads and eventually their food, I noticed that it wasn't that bad, actually. I played making lemon water with the lemon slices. I drank lots of decaf. I didn't really "mind", even when I'd lost only a pound the last week having almost nothing. SO, this is manageable, and I'm appreciative of having the right mindset to do it. I don't always seem to be able to do this, but at the moment, I can. At the moment, nothing is stopping me, especially not myself. YEAH!!

[sudaoning]

I am noticing too a new attitude with myself, with others, with my life in general. The "lack of motivation" I spoke about in an earlier post seems to be moving into a kind of ease.

My typical state for lack of a better word is "driven". I am self employed, single mom of 4 (two still at home). I seem always to have been driven to get it all done and done well and to cram in as much life as possible. Even my recreational time was driven. How much fun can I cram in in one weekend. I rarely just sat down. As a result I found myself sort of skimming over the top of life. Kind of like a water spider, skimming over the top, but never really getting his feet wet. Leaving me always empty, unfulfilled.

I might tie myself to my desk all day, whirl around taking care of kids and household needs and treating myself with food, because after all I deserved it, didn't I?? I was too tired, frazzeled and time crunched to treat myself in any other way, it seemed.

In the initial MF days of low energy I began to give myself permission to just do nothing as I needed to.....temporarily. Just to be a little kind to myself and to get through. Sit down, go to bed earlyl if I needed. The low energy phase seems to be giving way to a kind of relaxed state where it's ok to take care of my needs. I seem not to have to be doing all the time. I have been backing away from most of my "friendships" and as a consequence evaluating which ones I wish to continue. I am enjoying my children more and being kinder to myself.

Just a start and some ramblings............

Pound and a half from the 200 mark.
Prior to MF I had been on another program where I would lose maybe 10 lbs and just stall. Go up and down. For months. Since last NOVEMBER!!! Never go lower. The "advisor" for that program is still checking with her network to see how to make it work for me......When she finally gets back to me I think I may have a solution to the problem for her! In 3 weeks on MF my weight is lower than EVER on her program.

[Nancy]

Yeah! DutchChoc and Suda - you are doing it - you are making progress!

You are both being rather reflective right now and I see that you are thinking differently, too.

Yes, you DO have to take time for yourself. Value your self. You ARE important – your friends and family are no more important than you are. If you are over weight, in poor health physically and mentally, what kind of a parent or friend can you be to others?

Rest is important for weight loss – Medifasting becomes easier to do with time and it becomes easier for your body to work with it, too – your success in the beginning stages is what will get you to the end stage. Don’t allow yourself to cheat – once you do, you will have given in and allowed food to control you, rather than for you to use food for fuel.

Suda, just think! this is the last week that you have to weigh two hundred something.

You are gonna let it go and next week, you'll be in the 90's. Isn't that wild?

Enjoy this week, you are both making good choices, you are taking time to improve your health so that you will be a healthier and happier Mommy.

Dutch, making Lemon Water worked!

When I was in the losing phase and went to restaurants, I'd have a shake in the car just before I met my friends at the restaurant.

When we sat down at the table or booth (which usually was NOT comfy because of my big belly and woadies...), I'd look at the menu while the others were looking, too.

I'd think about how many pounds of flabbage I was looking at when I read each item.

Secretly and smugly I thought about how many plates of Fish & Chips, burgers, and ice cream sundaes had Medifastingly fallen off of my thighs and chins because I had chosen not to eat them.

I also thought about all the 1,000s of burgers I HAD eaten over the years.

I pictured my arteries being clogged like the freeways during heavy commute times with all the trans fatty acids in each of the food items on the menu.

It was then very easy to NOT order any of that fat, carbs and garbage.

When the wait person arrived, I'd let others order first and then when it was my turn, I'd say, "You know I ate not that long ago and I'm just not quite ready for anything yet. It all sounds so good, too. I think I'll just have a pot of hot tea with lemon, please." Then I'd smile really big.

I'd immediately ask my tablemate/s a question or somehow engage them all in an interesting conversation, turn the attention away from moi.

Sometimes I'd get up and go to the BR to get away from the food, sip ice water and tea or hot water. A snort of lemon juice in your water is perfectly fine.

Some things I'd sometimes say,

"My health won't permit it right now."

"Not today, there are some health issues I'm dealing with right now."

"Oh, that looks so good but thank you, No. Not right now. Maybe later."

Mike doesn't beat around the bush.

He'd say something like this, "%&%#@& No! I'm fat, fat, fat and I'm NOT eating anything but this wonderful MF shake. I don't care what you think of me or what you say; I am NOT putting one morsel of food into this big yap. End of conversation, change the subject."

(Mike, I know you me, Man and this is the TRUTH!! )

There are some earlier postings in the Forum about this very same subject. You are all creative. What fits your personality?

Just be honest.

Medifast works.

It IS working for you and has for over a million others.

Just tell your friends that you are taking control of your eating habits, that you are on a program that provides excellent nutrition, that you eat 5 to 6 times a day, that you are using a pharmaceutical grade food product that has been around for nearly twenty-four years, you are under your physician's care and you are being successful.

Tell them you NEED their support not their condemnation right now and that the day you reach your goal weight, you expect them to celebrate your accomplishment by taking you shopping for a new pair of jeans!

[explorthis]

Mike doesn't beat around the bush.

FACT! Why should I, or anyone else for that matter?

Folks, this is about US, not them, but US, and US alone. What ever your reasoning for turning away, weather it be just have eaten something, or just not hungry, or what ever reason you tell your table crew, this is your option, and this option is fine. Just remember it is about YOU. Now is your time.

I like the turn the table scenario… Assume for a small minute your friend was on the other end of the weight loss stick, they told you, No, I am Medifasting….. Well, now it’s a different thought because you know about Medifast, but realistically, does it really matter in the general scheme of things? So your friend is not eating, because they are dieting, whatever method they chose, this is about them. Now it’s all about YOU! DO you care they are dieting? No.

I can tell you, it gets easier. Once this group you regularly associate with sees the transformation, small or large, something odd occurs. YOU become the diet Queen (or King) and everything they order, or eat, they will try and justify to YOU. You? But how can you know what to say, you have just discovered losing weight, you’re not savvy enough to know yet. Does not matter. YOU are the new diet Doctor, and your opinion, your “ok” makes a difference to these folks, especially the ones that are overweight. It’s fun actually. It’s been 343 days ago since I began Medifast. 8 months and 12 days ago I hit my “goal” if you can call it that. Still, even last Friday, I am the “Dear Guido” of the food group. They want to know if they “should” eat this or that.

Use it to your gain, it becomes fun.

-Mike