The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DutchChoc]

Howdy to old friends and new. It was exactly 13 weeks ago today that I literally dropped out of my program and started investing heavily in the grocery market. I had lost 34 pounds in 102 days, from 160 down to 126, and I was slaving away at the gym to get that one miracle last pound off so I could declare myself victorious. WELL!! Very little, in my opinion, could be called victorious in that I felt so deprived after having shakes only for 102 days that I had no interest in depriving myself further. That feeling persisted, and persisted, and persisted. I suppose it isn't quite over yet, as I ask myself whether this is the "right way" for me to reduce again.

Over the weeks, I've tried "moderation" as a way to manage my weight. I've FELT like I wasn't eating that much, at times. I've felt like I should've been maintaining all the while my weight continued to rise and rise, never really retreating. I've learned that I'm not that good at moderation! I feel I might never be that good at moderation, frankly.

However, the lassitude with which I've behaved has resulted in me no longer feeling good about myself -- whatever that means, as I didn't really feel "that good" about myself when I was fairly emaciated at 126. I did, however, feel better than I feel now. I am going to re-do, re-spend, re-try to the extent that I will once again be in the running for the grand prize of fatlessness. The re-spending, logically, is irksome, if it only gave me 13 weeks of eating whatever I wanted to return to the same "spot".

So, I have not been cured yet, but I still have a mind to be, lol. I've made it thru day 1, so far, 4 shakes and a mint bar -- which could yet be my undoing, but I think I have to learn how to handle more than just shakes.

Thanks for listening! I hope I don't lose sight of this commitment.

[DutchChoc]

Feeling good as I start my day #2. I admit to having an odd relationship with food. When I'm escaping it, I feel better somehow. However, the tension (to eat again) always tends to grow as the time on MF passes. Maybe the trick this time is not to go as far. 130-140 would be just as ideal, and I'd be much less strained accomplishing it.

Have a good day, everyone. I went from 159.2 to 154.8 in one day. Of course, that's the weight of "contents" vs a rather empty system already.

[Marseilles]

Welcome back Dutch!

I hope you have great success on your second round with MF and that your transition back onto program goes very smoothly for you! I think you are probably onto something, by incorporating the other products into your regime along with the shakes. Self control is obviously not an issue when you are program compliant, perhaps this will help you into a smoother transition upon completion after losing the weight you wish to and finding the ability and keys to keeping it off when you get there. Moderation is the key, I believe, in all things. Exercise while medifasting included! I also believe that it is a learned skill.

Cheers to your return, may it be a great experience for you.
-M.

[Sylvia]

Dutch,

Welcome back. I'm here to tell you that it can be done. I have been in maintenance mode for going on 3 months now and am within a pound or 2 of my goal weight. I'm not doing perfectly but the comination of transitioning properly, daily exercise and more "normal" eating has allowed me to stay within a reasonable weight range for the past 3 months. I think this is the first time in my adult life I've achieved that.

I've decided I want to lose about 10 more pounds so I will be returning to the program in a couple of weeks after my vacation and business travel are over. We are all works in progress. Don't give up or be frustrated. You are where you are now and nothing will change it. Just try to improve upon it this time.

Good Luck!

Sylvia

[RavenKat2]

Glad you are here, lady!

You seem to be quite an ALL or NOTHING type so maybe you should work on that while you are fasting, too. The last thing you want is to feel the same things over again and fight this battle more than once. I hate to see you suffering.

I am currently battling the "mediocres", myself. Fasting some days and not others. I can see that it is a much smaller version of what you are experiencing - my cycles are hours/days long instead of weeks. Pretty silly actually but haven't worked out how to overcome it. Yeah, that lovely journey we call a well-lived-life! What I want mostly is to eat the right stuff (Like Sylvia does) when I'm not fasting - not just junk. That three year old inside me is apparently pretty strong!

Really happy you are back!!!!!!!!!

Kat

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Hiya Dutch!

I'm always happy to see you. Well, I recommit to a new eating plan every day so you're not alone. If left to my own devices, I'd probably eat everything that wasn't moving. It's a mind set. Why do we eat when we're not hungry? Overeating has always been my self-destructive weapon of choice. But I'm doing pretty good now on maintenance. It's a day by day, hour by hour, decision making process - just like in the weight loss stage.

Wishing you super mind over matter power Dutch!
Camille

[raederle]

Hi Dutch. I'm a newbie and haven't "met" you before, but I wanted to say hello just the same. I wish you all the best now that you're back on the MF train. And hey, you are your own living proof that you can do it, so you're an inspiration to me, and I know you can do it again!

[DutchChoc]

Thanks for the welcomes back! The news of your successes is encouraging, and, in general, I've lurked enough to know a bit about how everyone's doing, etc. I even waited to see if anyone else slipped on the banana peel that I did -- but NO!! Thanks for helping me believe that there can be a reprieve down the road for those who are willing to make a few (food) sacrifices. Maybe it's just a case of abiding by limits.

Lots of the time, I was promising myself that, no matter what, I wouldn't try what I always think of as deprivation again. Maybe I need to mentally adjust that definition. It leaves me feeling desperate. To that end, I told myself that so that I wouldn't do the common thing of ingesting extra/hoarding food ahead of some self-imposed restart date..'stock up', if you will. Well, even without the threat hanging over my head, I think I still stocked up lots of the time. That part has slowed down, but has slowed down to a slowly gaining pace, which still s@@@@.

However, wouldn't you know that I'd have a shaky day two, and not in the good way, as in shake-a-shake? I did OK until an hour ago. I didn't plan well and didn't go out of my way enough to succeed, frankly. Only I would mix a strawberry shake with a partial cup of coffee rather than go buy a bottle of water... yuck!! And then I missed the next shake for similar reasons -- no water, didn't buy any, won't drink out of the pipes in my work bldg, etc.

So anyway, only I can deal with my obstacles, and I know that. I still know that this works very well if/when one can make the transition ONTO the program -- that's my present hang-up. It seems fairly radical to get going. I'm going to keep trying, if only to the extent that I avoid crossing the 160 border.

Glad to hear from each of you, my MF buddies.

[scrabbler7]

Hi there Dutch -- like raederle -- I'm new here as well. Today is day 15 on the program. Reading what you wrote below really hit home for me. It's always been my problem with diets that I do great - and then fall off due to "poor planning" as you put it.

I did OK until an hour ago. I didn't plan well and didn't go out of my way enough to succeed, frankly. Only I would mix a strawberry shake with a partial cup of coffee rather than go buy a bottle of water... yuck!! And then I missed the next shake for similar reasons -- no water, didn't buy any, won't drink out of the pipes in my work bldg, etc.

Now I know that you know this - but maybe if you hear it from someone else - it will be an affirmation. I begin my day by taking out EXACTLY the 5 Medi-meals I intend to eat that day. I prepare 3 of them - my breakfast meal - and my two shakes I will have while in the office. These I put in two sealed cup containers and bring with me. I have my lean and green at lunch because that fits my schedule better. This I prepare the evening before and put in my 'ole rubbermaid food container. I find this gives me no reason to stray since I know EXACTLY what I'm going to be eating and when. I also keep an extra shake packet and an extra bar in my lunch bag at the office in case I find myself extra hungry and getting close to a banana peel slip!

So anyway, only I can deal with my obstacles, and I know that.

One other note - while what you say is true -- remember that you have alot of support from people in this forum -- so while it's only you that can overcome your obstacles ... you can come here to get your strength renewed in that battle.

I so appreciate your story and I'm sure others do as well. While it may have been a sidestep in your mission - it provides a learning tool for all of us.

Take care - keep shaking -- and keep on target.

Ame

[DutchChoc]

Thanks for the tips, scrabbler7, and for making my acquaintance. Glad that someone like myself. whose tail wags the dog, can be of help, if largely by negative example.

Seems part of the problem for me is getting in the right frame of mind to take MF-things seriously enough to insist with myself that I behave. I'm kind of scooting along the bottom, but I haven't really hit bottom yet to the extent that I'm insisting with myself that I leave no stone unturned to protect against "failure". I doubt that it can be logically argued by many that altering eating to this extent is a disruption to the normal routine, not only "my" routine, but to the routine of people who expect me to be cooking, eating out, etc. I'm not finding it easy to find the MF niche for myself in those regards.

[DutchChoc]

Well, it 's a perfectly fine Sunday here - read, a good-looking day on the calendar to get down to business. So far, I've had the apple & cinnamon oatmeal. I admit that I'm not "jolly" about the idea of commitment to doing this. Think it can be done while one doesn't like the idea?

Was kind of disappointed when I thought Berkshire girl had posted to her thread about restarting -- and it wasn't her. Geez.

Seems the people who "like" MF are the ones not having trouble.

[raederle]

Hi Dutch. I wish I knew what to say to help.

I'll be the first to admit, though, that I don't love MFing. That is, I don't love having to replace my favorite morning cereal, fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt, Subway sub, potato chips, beef stew, and double chocolate ice cream with reconstituted protein meals that sometimes just can't be doctored up enough to fool me into thinking I'm having a "treat." Sometimes I flat out resent it, and I get cranky. But what keeps me going is how much I like feeling that I'm doing something constructive-- not destructive-- for myself and my weight and my long-term happiness. At least I can be happy that I'm making the right choice, even if that choice sometimes really s**ks!

I do know that I hate being fat, hate feeling guilty about binge eating, hate how I feel when my jeans get snug over my fat butt, and hate feeling like I'm incapable of change. I *love* MFing not because the chili is as good as a bloomin' onion, but because I know I'm on the right path and I like *myself* a lot more knowing that I'm *just doing it,* even when it's tough.

I just try to remember the times when I felt so low that I didn't know if I could get back up again, and I remind myself that I don't ever have to return there if I don't want to. I don't ever want to feel that bad about myself again...

Anyway, I hope this helps a little, and I really hope you make it through and make yourself happy, whatever your choice.

[Mrsshrinkinglady]

Hi Dutch,
I know we all have days where we just don't want to be on MF,that we ger resentful when we see others around us able to eat all they want and
still be thinner than we are, BUT I also know that when I look in the mirror
right now I see someone I am supposed to be rather than the woman
I was 66 pounds ago! I was SO unhappy about myself and how I looked that it colored every part of my life! I am SO SO much happeir now that I
can actually truly look at myself and feel good. Sure I am still a big woman but now I have an actual waist and curves, not just one big blob!
I alos have days where I want to cheat, but then I think about all the times
I felt so miserable and mad at myself when I had a box of Little Debbie's
( I am NOT exagerrating sadly)
I could not do the shakes alone as you have done, but need the other MF produts to see me through this. Maybe having all the other choices would help?
I wish you well and lots of prayers are going out for you to make the
commitment and feel it deep in your heart. We are here to support you
God Bless,
Mary

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, it helps us all remember how we can either choose to be proud of striving towards what we'd like to look like or sit around cranky that we can't eat three square cake meals per day and have that, too. That's about what I've tried insisting that I'd do, darn it. The mathematics isn't on my side... more fat is.

I clearly loved succeeding, that's undeniable. It's a good feeling when all the "old" clothes in the house fit! To that end, it's a compromise worth making. It's the long-term, the succeeding, that leads to the questions/difficulties I've experienced.

But, I'm still on it for today, and not doing just shakes this time. Maybe that will help some. With a little MF time will come a little appreciation/reward. Thanks for the support!

[elle4nelly]

Dutch??

How is it going?? Doing any better? Just checking on you!

Nelly