The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[LeeannNH]

hi everyone!

i hope you all are having a wonderfully shakeable day!
it is dreary and cold here in the northeast. i cannot believe it is may and i am wearing a wool turtleneck.

the other reason today is a bit dreary is that i weighed in today and i was up 1 pound. which is what led me to this post. i have to weigh in every tuesday and friday with my doctor. she tells me my weight each time and now i am wondering if i shouldn't just get her to tell me on fridays only. do you guys think that having a consistent 1 day weigh-in is the best? i cannot weigh myself everyday or i would pull my hair out!

another reason for my post is that my sister is getting married in july and i am in the wedding. i got the bridesmaid dress and i look like a gumball (the dresses are pink and green). seriously.....i know i am a big girl but this dress makes me look really REALLY REEEEAAAAAALLLLYYYYY BIG. how in the world am i going to face all of these people, my family, old family friends and most of all my sister? i am going to be humiliating for her. i am already uncomfortable in the dress and i havent had to show myself in it in public yet.

how do i get up the courage to wear this dress in pride?

thanks for listening to me-----i PROMISE to be more positive in the future
leeann

[victoria7]

you've lost 15 pounds in one month! way to go!!!

the wedding is in july? that's at 6-9 *weeks* before the wedding... the way you're going, if that dress fits now, you'll need to get that dress altered before the wedding!!!

i say before the wedding day, get your hair done, get your nails done, get a massage, your makeup done, a pedicure or a combination of the above... whatever will make you feel a better about yourself. :-) personally, i would have to, at least, get my hair done...

and, remember, most people will be looking at the bride, not you... and the whole time you're wearing that dress you just think about how much you love your sister.. :-)

[LeeannNH]

hi victoria

you are so sweet!

i of course would NEVER utter a word to anyone in my "real" (not internet) life about how i feel about looking like a gumball! my sister is the closest person to me in my life, and i would never want her to think i look bad in the adorable dresses--- i guess i let my own embarassment cloud my judgement. and you know what you are SO right, no one but me is going to care about how i look! i guess i did sound a little self-centered huh? im glad i posted this, you gave me some much needed insight

leeann

[Nancy]

Dear Leeann ~

Aw, don’t worry about the dress. You will not look like a Giant Gumball.

You are lovely and the dress is probably one of those wear one-time-for-a-special-occasion-disposable frocks.

There are very few bridesmaid dresses that are really attractive – how many times have you ever seen someone wearing a dress and you commented on it and they said, “oh, this stunning number? It was the bridesmaid’s dress I wore at my sister’s wedding.”

You will have lost some more weight by the time the July wedding rolls around.

Think about the last wedding you attended.

The first person people see is the bride’s Mother, the flower girl and the ring bearer.

The people are straining to see the bride and they may take a peek at the matron of honor and the bride’s maids (most are thinking, “What was the bride thinking when she selected those dresses anyway?!” ) but primarily the people have come to support the bride and groom and to honor them on their special day.

Keep your focus on your meal plan, keep the wedding date out there as a mini goal and eat your Medimeals and get ready to look mahvelous in your bride’s maid dress – you will be a maid and not a gum ball!

The ups and downs of weight loss can be discouraging at times – well, all right, almost always. The scales do make some people cwazy.

It does not have to be so (the cwaziness) - if you can take a step back and think about how and why the numbers on the scale can vary from day to day and accept that, then it makes it easier to leap on twice a week.

If your doctor wants to weigh you twice a week, will you close your eyes one of the times?

My weight has been all over the scale this week – a three pound variance in the last five days.

I have eaten exactly the same thing in exactly the same order.
I may have had more or less fluid some days than others but everything is the same.

My activity level, stress and sleep cycle has not been identical. Hormonal fluctuations and blood sugar changes are difficult to control, etc.

All these things affect our weight.

When we weigh, we must use our intellect to look at the number.

Mr. Scale: “You are up one pound.”

You: Huh? What’s that? Up a pound?

Brain takes over here: “Oh, yes, that’s right. This is a tool, a measuring device – it weighs me and reports my weight at this particular point in my program, in this place, at this time – this particular moment.”
The scale is not smart. It lives in the same place all the time. It lives in the BR and it usually does not see what you eat or when you eat it.

It does not know if you are program-compliant or not.
It does not report anything about your character, your intentions, your worth or your value as a person.

It is just a hunk of plastic and metal.

A mere tool.

A scale does indicate the general direction that our weight is taking but we also need to look at the big picture and the pattern of our weight.

If we are looking at two days and two different weights, then we can only say that your weight went up 1 pound from the other day.

When we have a series of weight numbers taken over the course of time – say a month or more, we can take an average of our weight reports and look for trends or patterns.

We ask ourselves, "is the weight declining, maintaining or increasing over the course of time?"

Weight loss occurs over a continuum of time – we know that it came on over a course of time; it will go away over time. ( Okay already! It goes away over a l-o-n-g time!)

We must not allow the “fee-fees and the emos” (feelings –emotions) to take control here.

They are totally irrational and weird when it comes to weight. We must allow the intellect to be the stronger and loudest voice that we listen to – not the whinny voice of the fee-fees and emos.

Some people listen only to the emo voice that tells us, “This won’t work. YOU can’t do it. You MUST eat real food. Go ahead and have a pizza because drinking all that stuff cannot satisfy you. You are starving to death, for crying out loud.”

This Take Shape for Life thing is a new way of thinking and a new program. Let’s keep our eyes on the prize – the scale is just one way to tell what’s happening; your pants, the tape measure, your sense of well-being will all concur and let you know that you are doing the right thing.

Drink that shake and slurp your water – clean out your closet, find the next size down clothing and plan what you will do when you enter a new poundage decade!

You are in the beginning stages here – some of us have been at it a long time and we are hanging in there. Not about to go back the other way.

This is the way that leads to a healthful and abundantly happier life; the alternative? I don’t even wanna think about it, it gives me the shivs…

[LeeannNH]

nancy

you are awesome i love your "feefees and emos"

my fear of failure is very strong but my fear of how i would feel if i quit is much stronger.

reading about your long-going success and your words of encouragement give me so much strength to endure! i know i can do this. i just went through the rest of the day, having my meals on time and drinkin my water, knowing that im feeling so much better and i dont want to throw that away because of what the scale said. i also like to think about how hard it must be to fall off and get back on again. when i was part of OA, i was abstaining from all flour and sugar (pretty similar to this actually) and once i fell off i gained the 35-40 pounds i had lost back in 1 month. i was like pac-man, eating everything in sight! i wasnt emotionally ready to allow myself to let go of this weight. i now have the right support system to get this flab off for good, thanks to my dreamteam (my doc, you/this board and my husband)

my husband is very supportive by listening to me and talking me through the rough points. i am so lucky to have him in my life. he wishes he could do mf because he thinks it is so easy and structured. he tells me daily how proud he is of me and how he can see my energy level increase, this is a huge motivator for me. he is 6' tall and 175# and can actually eat only 1 square on a hershey bar. i didnt know his kind existed!

my doctor weighs me 2 times a week so that we can talk about what the loss means to me emotionally. it has been very interesting to address the feelings that come up when i see my weight go down or up. i actually think it is VITAL to my success in keeping the weight off for good.

i appreciate your post so much. it means alot to me. it is hard for me to put myself out there on this board, as i was living my life trying hard to remain the invisibe fat person and now, i am doing all i can to break out of that coccoon and live my life again.

take care and thanks again
leeann

[DonicaB]

LeeAnn~~I can't really add to Nancy's post. She did a great job of encouraging you and gave you some wonderful things to think about.

I do want to say......BE PROUD........be proud of yourself........be proud that you have made the decision to get healthy and thin. As Nancy said, it will take time.......but, you are doing it.

So when that day comes, forget about the dress.......forget about the people..........and just be happy for your sister and proud of what you have accomplished to that point. Remember she wants you there because she loves you and you want to be there because you love her.. ....what else could possibly matter. Hold your head up high, LeeAnn, you are going to look great.

You are doing great LeeAnn.......you are taking control of your life......doesn't that feel GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!

DonicaB

[Nancy]

my fear of failure is very strong but my fear of how i would feel if i quit is much stronger.

That’s really the first step to success, and you’ve already made it!

Folks, I am not perfect. I fight this food thing every day just like you do – you help ME to keep it together, I feel responsible to you and for you.

Thank you!

[LeeannNH]

hey donicab

i loved you post with that big ole thumb! for some reason that makes me laugh so hard!

thanks you guys for helping me see the light

nancy, i think your saying you are not perfect makes you most admirable. you know your struggle and you face it head on. it seems to me that your positive attitude is infectious. yall are all so awesome, it makes me feel like we are all on a team of losers!!

if you ever need ANYTHING send me a pm--im on here ALL of the time now....i think im adddicted to makemethinner.com

leeann (ok i had to use this thanks to donicab!)

[Mommy2girls]

Hey Leeann! WOW! You have been given some wonderful advice!!! I love all of what Nancy said about the scale. I used to get upset if the scale didn't agree with my eating habits. I would eat healthy and be good, and I would hop up on there hoping to see PROOF that I was doing the "right" thing and if it didn't agree with me, then I would go ahead and eat the dessert and pizza and ice cream just to say "FINE, I eat healthy and see what happens...NOTHING!!!"

That is a dangerous place to be because we can't use the scale to measure everything in our lives. By eating crap because I was mad that the scale didn't move, it only hurt me more.

So when I started MF in April, I just had to make a resolve to myself. That I was going to weigh once a week and take the good with the bad, and KNOW that I have power over food, NO MATTER what the scale says. I had to decide that this is for me, for my health and yes, of course the weight matters, because I would be lying if I said it didn't. But I had to put things in the bigger picture and get some perspective and know myself and know what triggers me to overeat. So far in 6 weeks on MF, I have hopped on the scale more than once a week but not very often. And I have to steel myself for whatever it says, and so far I have not been dissappointed.

I think you need to figure out what is most important to you. If weighing more than once a week is making you crazy, then don't do it. Face backwards on the drs. scale or decide to JUST use the drs. numbers. Either way don't let it run your life, or your program!!!

About the wedding, you will NOT be gumball. You will have to have the dress taken in I'm sure! I also am going to a wedding in July, my cousin is getting married and my girls will be the flower girls. I'm waiting to buy my dress until closer to July because I KNOW I will be SMALLER then than I am now. If I have another 6 weeks like the last 6 weeks I will be around 45lbs lighter than when I started this journey!!!

So remember to think about positive things to say to yourself and slap a hand over the mouth that thinks you are a gumball.

Sheila
6 weeks = –22lbs

[LeeannNH]

hi sheila

i know what you mean about the awesome advice here...now that includes yours. i do have to release my scale obsession and realize that this is all good for me. just like you said about the eating-what -i-want-because-eating-healthy-doesnt-do-anything mentality. boy, thats a hard one to kick huh? stinkin thinkin is what i like to call it!

you have had wonderful success on mf---congrats to you! i love the way you talk about your pwer over food. that attitude must make you have great resolve. i am going to now celebrate the end of ech day that i have as a "no-cheating" day as a step towards that feeling of power!

thanks for sharing your thoughts with me...and good luck shopping for your skinnier wedding outfit!

leeann

[LuzInIt]

Leeann - Don't worry about the wedding; if the dress is as dreadful as it sounds (and most bridesmaids dresses are), and if the guests have any thoughts about it at all, it will be "What was the bride thinking?" and not "Leeann looks like a GUMBALL". (Girl, that just cracked me up when I typed it ). Instead, look forward to the wedding as a motivator for you, as well as a wonderful day for your sister. Whenever you are tempted by some crappy old food - remind yourself "GUMBALL day is coming"! And then, when it arrives, you will STRUT - YES, STRUT YOUR MAGNIFICENT BODY - down the aisle, knowing that you are the hottest, most successful GUMBALL in town!!! Lord only knows how much weight you'll lose between now and then. I'm at 66 days with 44 pounds gone forever . And you are off to a terrific start. Oh, be sure and give that honey of yours a big ole' smackeroo! Where would we be without the awesome support of our skinny minny mates.

[LeeannNH]

hi linda!

you gave me the funniest visual of my gumball self strutting down the aisle! i am one hot gumball!!!!! and i loved your spin on the fact that at least i will be a successful gumball!

thank you for making me laugh! and congrats on your wonderful success. you must feel terrific girl! you totally made my day with this post

take care of yourself

your gumball for life
leeann