The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Simmshe]

Hello all,

I'm back from sunshiney Bermuda, but I'm feeling anything but sunshiney . As per my title, I'm loathed to report that I've gotten myself into some trouble with my plan.

First, I want to say welcome to all of the newbies ! I've been trying to catch up on missed posts and am loving the energy around here! You all are rocking and supporting, as usual, and I'm glad to be a part of this wonderful group .

As for me ... not good at all. I felt that I was heading for trouble before I left for Bermuda last week because I found myself thinking about food too much. I wasn't feeling very committed to my full fast. In fact, leading up to departure time I almost wished that I could cancel my trip because I wasn't feeling so strong about not eating, but I was going to the wedding of a good friend of mines for over 13 years and had the trip planned for over nine months. I thought that I could control things. Anyways, long story short--I ATE .... and ate, and ate, and ate! The first bite, of course, was the opening of Pandora's box and I had a hard time putting the lid back on it (still having a hard time). Of course I knew better. I heeded the words of advice from you all about not even starting--and I knew this first hand, but I allowed my emotions to take over. There was no physical hunger involved--in fact, I didn't even feel a hunger pang the whole time because I was perpetually stuffed. It was quite ridiculous. What made it VERY easy for me to eat so much is that I wasn't feeling emotionally well while I was there, and I also got bored after the first couple of days (believe it or not. Bermuda is a lovely, quaint and reserved island--things shut down quite early there, leading to some boredom for moi).

Okay, fast forward a week later to today. I'm up 10-11lbs --a lot of damage for a week of overindulgences, huh? The good part though, if there is a good part here, is that I know it's mostly water. I have a scale with a fat percentage monitor on it, and while the poundage is up quite a bit, the fat percentage is only up by 1/2 a percent. I'm just trying to regroup now and move forward. And to be honest, I felt so ashamed of myself that I wasn't going to post here until I had a grip on things again. That's me, never wanting to show fallacy or seek help, but always eager to give support. But I'm working on changing this about myself, and I think it's unfair to this group for me to only participate when things are good--I think that's being a bit selfish. Accountable is a word that is used around here often--I need to be accountable, too.

So, here I am. I'm back on my full fast today. I started on the full fast yesterday, but as we have seen here from others often, by night fall it's all over. My main problem now is my mental and emotional state. I can deal with the physical hunger, but I'm still going through it emotionally. Fell right back into the cushyness of self-loathing. Not loathing myself because of 6-7 days of overeating, but the old loathing that still lingers in my self-conscious that doesn't believe that I'm even worth losing weight or being happy. I'm taking some of my own medicine though and am focusing on what to do differently from this point forward. It is crucial for me to begin focusing less on my weight loss and more on building my self-esteem. I have been working on this, but obviously, I haven't been building my self-esteem enough. I also need to do more work on improving my stress managment. I knew these things before I started Medifast, but once I got into it, it became quite easy for me to focus almost exclusively on the weight loss aspect of this journey. This works for some, but for me, this can have bad consequences. I'm thinking of taking a page from Lois's book, coming up with a challenge for myself that doesn't focus so much on poundage loss, but setting other goals, like exercising five days a week or creating a list of activities to follow when feeling bad emotionally and choosing one of these activities, etc. ... I'll let you all know .

Thanks for listening you all--I actually feel better already ! I'll be posting more soon. Things are slower at work now so I have a bit more time. I still have a move coming up next week so I'm preparing for this now, but after this, things should be much less busy and more stable for me.


Sheryl

[Lois]

Hi Sheryl,

Confession is good for the soul

I know things didn't work out as you'd hoped, BUT....you have a plan and you're getting yourself right back on track. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

Before you know it, those 10 pounds will be GONE FOREVER, plus a whole bunch more

Keep on shakin'!!!!!!!!

hugs,

Lois

[elle4nelly]

Hi Sheryl!

Welcome back!

I hope you had a great time during your vacation. Listen, I know things went off course. You know that, you know it wasn't your goal. You came here and you confessed to all.
Okay! That's a major first step. And by the way..we all have been there!
Now, take a deep breath and get back on. Not tomorrow, not next week. Like right now!
You say you want to set a goal. May I suggest and idea for you? Why don't you set a goal that comes with a reward such as For every 2-3 days that you go without going off plan you get something small you'd like. That novel you meant to buy, those shower gel from V secret...I don't know...something...or that very neat skein of wool...you want to make a scarf out of...Before you know it..days on hand will pass and you'll find yourself back in control again.
Whatever you do. DON'T SIT AROUND MOPPING FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!
What's done is done and now you've got to go forward. That's it! Sitting around feeling sorry isn't going to get anyone anywhere!!!!!!!!!! It might even lead to more self defeating behavior. Unless you're already tired of dieting and happy to take what you've lost already and quit, then I say:

[b]LET IT GO AND GO ON![/b]


Anyway...you have determination...more than you think..you've come this far...why turn around? you'd be selling yourself short of a beautiful dream. And I think that would be the saddest thing!

Nelly

[Simmshe]

Thanks Lois and Nelly !

That's one of the silver linings with being on MF is that fortunately we can drop extra weight about as quick as we gained it after digressing. Naturally, I would have preferred that I didn't digress at all, but I'm definitely moving on.

Thanks Nelly for the reward system idea about me getting back on track--pretty good suggestions. And of course, you are right. Whenever we start telling ourselves, "oh well, I'll start tomorrow," or "I'll start on Saturday so I won't have to be around food at work" or "I'll start on Monday to begin the week on plan," etc., etc., we are usually not being honest with ourselves. You start right now. I'm back on plan, as of this morning. When I did my "fake" restarts on Wednesday and Thursday, I felt in my mind that my resolve was shaky. Just didn't feel that committed feeling because I was still feeling emotionally like crap and wanted to medicate with food. Anyways, that's that. My 7-day foible is in the history books. I'm not going to let 7 days erase my 80 days of compliance and growth.

That's one of many great lessons I have learned this year and that's to let things go. I'm not at the place yet where I can get over something in a matter of hours, or better yet, not letting things get me into so much of a negative tizzy in the first place; but I'm about in the 2-5 day range of being able to get over negative, self-defeating thoughts and then moving on. Trust me, this is a huge improvement for me because I have been known to wallow for six months to a year over negative things. It's important to learn from mistakes and to put things into perspective (these haven't always been my strong suits, but it is becoming easier for me to do these things). All or nothing thinking sucks big time, especially for someone like me. All or nothing thinking would make me say "forget it, I'm a loser, I messed up my whole plan--I might as well give up now." Not going to happen!

Thanks again for the support, even those who haven't posted! I don't know if it's just me or not, but I always feel "unspoken" support when I'm here at the forum . I'm back on track now and will be setting some goals that I will post soon. For me, my biggest reward for being compliant is the feeling of taking really good care of myself and giving myself the body and health that I deserve, so this is why I usually don't give myself designated rewards. I just try to treat myself, in general (not as much as I should, but I'm working on this, too).

And no way am I tired of being on MF! Naturally, I think we all miss food after a while (as I obviously carried on as if I really missed food while I was in Bermuda ). But I committed to doing this--period. I have several months to go on MF so whether I become tired or not--the bratty Sheryl just has to be tired, bored, or whatever, and get over it!

Thanks again guys!

Sheryl

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Sheryl,

Darnit sweetie, it's just the falls in the race, the wrinkles in the rug that make us trip and fall. The important thing is to get back up again. You are doing that, pulling up your socks and joining us here again. You'll get there! We're all behind you...

Here's to winning the losing battle!
Camille

[RavenKat]

Sheryl,

You've been a huge help and inspiration to all of us, I'm completely sure you'll be cruising on that "road to thinsville" any minute now. As people have said before - heck, maybe even you- the important thing is to learn from your stumble and to get right back up.

Your words about letting a negative thought keep you in a funk for months rings so true for me. I hadn't realized the extent of improvement I have achieved in that area until you mentioned it. Maybe that's part of the overall "upbeat" attitude people say they see in me now.

Hang in there, girlfriend You know you are strong and successful - you can do it! (you have to say it with a cajun accent like from Waterboy)
Kat

[LongWay2go]

Sheryl,

What an honest post! You make me so proud to "know" you! Falling off the wagon is a hard thing to admit. The important thing is you're getting back with the plan and know what you must do to succeed. Even ole' Spidey isn't wearing any halo. I've had a few instances where I had a bite of this or that. I didn't consider them major problems, but did confess to Guido who promptly gave me a good Guido-style lashing! I learned. I learned that one bite of lasagne is a no-no unless I am fortunate enough to find it in a sealed pouch of MediFast. What do you suppose the chances are of that! Onward and downward, my friend!

~Spidey

[DutchChoc]

Welcome back, Simmshe, not only back from Bermuda, not only back from the wilds of wantonless eating, but back to this group that's so supportive of one of its own. You!!

It may be tougher for a bit, but you'll thank yourself soon for climbing back aboard as soon as you reasonably could. All those days of doing the right things will be coming right back to you and you'll have the momentum to hold steady. You can do this. If nothing else, you were reminded that food isn't really "all that" and can be kinda sickening -- blech -- when it grabs hold and tries taking us under again.

Congrats for your honesty and for trying to help both yourself and us with your post.

[elle4nelly]

Sheryl???


Are you there? Just checking and making sure you're still on and doing better.


Nelly