The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[tumbleweed]

I guess this is just one of them days but I feel like I have lost my best friend, now I can say it was my worst friend at the same time, but food was always there for me, food didnt judge me or make me sad, food fixed things, I ran to food when I was sad and depressed and lonely or well just about any other emotion I could have, and sometimes I feel like I am lost, I do feel in control for the first time in my life but I wonder how long it will take for me to stop thinking of a pizza everytime someone hurts me or everytime I feel sad or lonely, oh my love hate relationship with food, what a mess it has made of my life! I miss my friend, I miss the taste of food and the texture, I miss dinners with friends, but I want to be thin more than anything in the world, thank goodness for the first time in my life I want that more than my old best friend. What a battle this is! This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but at the same time I have never wanted anything this bad, so that keeps me going, this forum keeps me going, we are all in this boat together and I feel good coming here and reading posts, I dont feel so alone in this adventure that I am on. I know I am on a quest here, not just for weightloss but also for inner healing, I am on my way and I am finding myself, it's just that some days are much harder than others. Tomorrow will be better and I will wake up happy that I stayed on plan today. Just ranting here ya'll I sure am glad I have people here that understand!

[doglover]

I sure understand Tumbleweed. It breaks my heart that someone may have hurt you. But you have overcome their lowness with your ability to stand firm in your convictions to be good to yourself. You did the right thing, and today is a really low day for me as well. Not sure what is going on but I thought lots about going out to chinese for dinner, eating that PB egg in the freezer and just packing it all away and being satisfied w/ who and where I am. But then I knew tomorrow I would awake and be sadder than I am today. You point that out so well in your post. I wish we could all call each other up and say, hey, let's go sit on a bench somewhere and have a shake and talk about how much it sucks to need to lose weight and then talk about how excited we are that we have done so!

Sunday roll call can't come fast enough for me. I want lbs lost so bad. I want to break this hurdle.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into being about me. I wanted to give you a hug and tell you your post really touched me. Thanks for being honest and sharing.
D

[tumbleweed]

Oh doglover your fabulous!!!!! I am so happy that the both of us got thru this day on plan! I know tomorrow will be better for both of us, and yes it sure would be cool to sit on a bench and chat over a shake!

[want2Bthin]

Tumbleweed-
I am sorry that you are having a down day. I think that must be normal. I too struggle with those thoughts quite a bit.

You are so right about the love hate relationship with food. I am sure your post is going to seem so familar to many.

Thanks for sharing your emotions today.

Angelia

[raederle]

Is there room for me on the bench, gals?

I'm having one heck of a night myself, and I just wanted to pitch in that I hear ya, and I'm tired of it, too! I just want to eat the entire tub of full-fat chocolately ice cream (my hubby's) that's in my freezer right now. I wanna curl up on the couch, watch a bad movie (Steven Segal, anyone?), and down that gallon of ice cream one spoonful at a time.

I get tired and worn down thinking that, even after all the hard work I put in to lose the weight, it takes just as much work every day to keep it off. I don't wanna complain too much because I'd hate to contribute to the feeling that maintenance isn't something to look forward to, but, well, it's hard, too!


I'm so glad I have you guys to take strength from. You really do get me through the long days. You keep me eating my bags of carrots instead of bags of chips; you keep me exercising every night instead of vegging on the couch; you keep me from making bad choices every single minute.... Thanks, guys. We'll make it. Let's hope tomorrow is a bit easier, and that Sunday lifts us back up again!

[tumbleweed]

raederly, so sorry you also had a hard day, the bench is big enough for all of us! I cant wait to get into maintenance and I will look forward to getting all the advise from you I can get once I reach my goal! I know that keeping the weight off will be just as hard, thank goodness for all these wonderful people in this forum!

[LilMsTexas]

well dang..........I don't know who to console first. I will repeat something I said once before to tumbleweed........Sweetie food is not now nor has it ever been your best friend. It doesn't hug you...wipe your tears...tell you a good joke to get you to laugh......go shopping with you to find a SASSY new outfit.......make love to you.......hold your hand in a movie........brush the hair from your cheek........or any of the truly wonderful gifts that we receive from the TRUEST friendship with another human being. Believe me when I say I know what you meant, and I've felt the same way in the middle of my disease called obesity. But that thinking is the virus that makes our minds sick. We can't allow ourselves to sink into that thinking. It is the same with any addiction.......it's the bottle that was our "friend".......it was the cigarette that "calmed us down"......it was the speed that helped us lose weight......it was the joint (marijuana for you law abiding types) that "took us away from it all" if even for a moment. All of these addictions have commonalities. We use someTHING to deal with the emotions. We can NOT allow this virus to infect our minds any longer. Call up a REAL friend if you need emotional support. Realize WHY you need emotional support at the moment. And then experience the blessing of a true HUMAN BEING friend.......or......in our case the imaginary people on this forum that like to give out free advice like they (I) really know what I'm talking about.

The bottom line folks........food is NOT our friend. Food is NOT our enemy. Food is NOT capable of being either one of those things. Food is fuel for our bodies. Yes we associate many social aspects to it in our society....but ultimately it's just a thing

And Jodie.......since I'm apparantly on a ranting roll here......I'm scared to death to be on maintenance. After we lose all this weight shouldn't we be blessed with being able to eat whatever the heck we want to just like all the other "naturally skiny miny" people out there? I guess it's really true.......we're in this for life.......we have to make life changes to succeed even on this program........and it just goes on and on and on and on. The good news is that you get to keep on buying skinny skinny clothes and looking HOT TO TROT and feeling like a million bucks!! I guess at the end of the day it's all worth it right? Say that it is or I'll need to quit this mess right now

I love you guys........keep the faith........tomorrow is another day waiting for success!!
Christi

[tumbleweed]

Christi your a doll! God blessed texas and he also blessed you! I love reading your posts

[raederle]

I guess at the end of the day it's all worth it right? Say that it is or I'll need to quit this mess right now

Thanks, Christi!!! Yes, (and I'm not just saying this to tell you what you want to hear!) it IS worth it. Being able to pick out what I wear in the morning from a closet full of clothes that are 2 sizes smaller than when I started MF (and 6 sizes smaller than when I started losing 9 years ago) makes it all worth while. I'd rather have to limit myself to smaller portions of foods I love than to gorge myself on foods I love and have to suffer the consequences-- I will never forget how it feels to hate my body every single minute of every single day. I now *like* seeing myself in mirrors; I don't worry about whether people are staring at my big butt when I walk down a sidewalk; and I buy sleeveless tops and shorter skirts and pants without stretchy waistbands, knowing I don't have to worry about whether I'm just too big to look good in them.... It is DEFINITELY worth it!

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't get cranky and resentful sometimes, and I sure do wish I was blessed with a metabolism like a rocketship. But then I remember I was blessed with the next best thing-- determination, a will to succeed and reach my goal, and a forum full of friends that inspire me every day. You've got all that, too, so I know you can do it if I can!

[DonicaB]

Christi, girl you have got it goin' on. I love how your mind works. I love how you can put into words what most of feel but don't know how to express.

Girls, we have depended on food for sooooo long that it seems like we are losing a best friend, but look at what we are gaining. Finally, we are gaining something other than weight. We are gaining a LIFE. A life that will still have struggles, a life that will still have crappy days, a life that will still seem too much to bear at times...... BUT, it will be a life of happiness. A new life.....one where we can feel good about being able to say "NO". A life we have been longing for, wishing for, hoping for. The life of a person who does not depend on food for happiness but rather knowing that they have accomplished what once seemed impossible.

Whew, look who is rambling now. There is a song by a girl named PINK. I don't really know the song, but a portion of it says, "Don't let me get me. I am my own worst enemy." Don't be your own worst enemy, be your own best friend and give yourself the gift on that new life. You know, the thin one.

DonicaB

[dlr2424]

GIRLS..........push over ...with all your skinny little butts I know there's plenty of room on the bench for me...... ...and many times I wish it was reality that we all were sitting together rejoicing in our God given determination!!!!!!!!!...... ...and consoling each other in our challenges.... ...but until we meet in real life....our forum will have to do..... ........Love to all of you.....
Donna...dlr2424

[doglover]

Well, I signed off early last night bec. we are big Survivor fans at my house and when I came on here this morning I am truly touched at how heartfelt all of these posts are. This is real. This is life. Man, you gals are great (and you too Dean). We have a big bench, getting smaller every day!

I know today will be better! For one thing I gave into tempatation and got on the scale. I just HAD to know. And yep, finally down! Thank goodness! I am so proud of myself for overcoming the urges for break open that PB jar yesterday. (Christi - how'd it go w/ cheese?) and today I will keep on keeping on.

Thanks again for being the best support forum around. You all speaka my language!
D

[LilMsTexas]

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONNA!!! Great job girl!! I KNOW that made you feel GREAT!! I got on the scales this morning too and had lost 1lb. So I'm just 1 more lb from the 20# mark. Keep your fingers crossed that the scales will be good to me on Sunday morning!!

Yes I stayed away from the cheese yesterday too!! See...we CAN do this!!
Have a great day!! yipppeeee for Donna Doodle

[DonicaB]

Hey Donna, I am so glad to hear you made through another day. I agree the gals on this forum are wonderful (and Dean and Unca Tim too ). What an uplifting group of people.

I have an idea, since we are all so uplifting and full of HOT AIR, I think we should get together some day and take a HOT AIR BALLOON ride. What an uplifting experience that would be. HA!

Guess what? I am a huge Survivor fan also. I just love it. I have watched every one of them. I have often thought about going on the show, just to lose weight.

DonicaB

[doglover]

Yay Christi!!! I am so glad you avoided cheese and also saw a 1 lb loss! We are goin' strong!

Donica - we have seen every Survivor too! My hubby has people BEGGING him to go on the show (including me!). Someday, he'll probably send in a tape.

Do you watch the Amazing Race? This time Rob/Amber are on it and it is GREAT!
Donna