by Nova » November 29th, 2006, 10:16 pm
Staying on plan for transition so far. Down a pound this week and my pants feel like they're getting looser. i think that even if I'm not losing much or fast anymore, I'm trading fat in for muscle, and that's a good thing.
I had an unexpected lull today at work, so I took advantage of some time off I need to take and came home for a long lunch. I enjoyed it, but unfortunately, lunch on Wed is supposed to be spent at the gym. So to keep on schedule, I needed to exercise at night at home, and that's always much harder for me, because I'm tired and I have to schedule it around dinner.
We fixed a nice beef and broccoli dinner and I watched a bit of tv. Then I felt guilty about exercise, so I made myself get on the elliptical tonight. I only did 30 minutes, so I set the difficulty up a level and pushed harder to make up for the shorter time.
Then since I exercised, I needed an extra meal, but I'd already had my pudding, didn't want a second one, and wasn't in the mood for any of my medifast food. I wanted something 'real', darnit. I poked in the pantry and found some Smart Pop popcorn that's 110 calories/bag. Perfect, I thought. Almost the same number of calories as a MF meal, and I don't need extra protein since I didn't lift.
It was yummy, but as I was eating it, I was reading about transition, and the nice comments people made in my studio thread, and I suddenly suffered a waking eatmare. I'm not supposed to eat carbs for another 2 days! I was honestly in a quandry. It's only a hundred calories, and I just burned 200 or so. But it's not on plan, and I didn't get where I was by cheating and screwing around. I rationalized it by saying I could have eaten one of the cookies sitting in my freezer, but I really didn't want anything sugary.
Ultimately, I threw out half the bag. Not because I felt guilty, but because I felt I had to be honest with myself and stick to my new lifestyle plan. Popcorn will be allowed, but at the proper time, and that time is not today. To me, maintaining isn't just about calories out > calories in. It's about making a mental change, a lifestyle change, and sticking to it. If I fall off my mental game just one week into transition, it doesn't bode well for the future. I'll keep making excuses.
So yes, it was only 50 calories of popcorn, but more than that, it's the choices I make. I chose not to finish the bag tonight and have some water instead. I also chose to exercise, even though I'd rather have vegged on the couch. Now that I've made those choices though, I feel a lot better about myself.
PS: I tried out the Optimum Nutrition whey protein powder after throwing away the popcorn, because I still wanted to get some calories in. I just wanted them to be the right calories. Ugh. I used to think ON tasted pretty good. But that was when I mixed it with milk. Not nearly as good with water. The MF folks did a really good job on making the shakes tasty.
244/171
Would you rather eat what you want, or wear what you want?