The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[SuzyQ66]

I'm glad you are feeling smaller today - I hear confidence emerging from you and agree with Biki - I think compliance with MF will exceed your expectations - man Biki you are starting to sound more and more like Jo - good deal. You can and will do this Nickie.

[Mike]

Nickie,
Glad you have a better outlook on the school year than I do. I am WAY ready for it to be over.

I like the unwrapping yourself concept... it is a gift to yourself. Keep at it.

We are here for ya if you need anything.

[bikipatra]

I'm glad you are feeling smaller today - I hear confidence emerging from you and agree with Biki - I think compliance with MF will exceed your expectations - man Biki you are starting to sound more and more like Jo - good deal.

Thanks. I consider that quite the compliment. As long as no one starts calling me "Little Jo" like on Bonanza, we'll be fine.

[nickieluv]

Ah, where to begin? Go get that glass of water, Biki.

Today I weighed in at 214.5. Almost to the 50# club (I've been rounding all this time - positive thinking, you know - but I haven't technically lost 50# yet unless you count my pregnancy weight). And about 6pm tonight the thoughts of cheating popped into my head. It really does seem as though I am reluctant to reach my goal for some reason.

I was able to avoid the obvious temptations. But my L&G was too much L and no G. I had 2 chicken thighs (I think they were thighs - my sister cooked them, and I don't know what was in the marinade either) that I shared with the baby, and then some mozzarella cheese that I didn't measure - I'm guessing no more than a half a cup but that's really a wild guess. I was going to just go to bed without eating anything else, but I was supposed to have one more supplement.

Well, I took a shower (at night - my new favorite thing, especially as hot as it's been lately - funny, only a couple of weeks ago I loved them because they warmed me up, now they cool me down) and weighed in at 214.7. At the end of the day. Which of course has my little brain thinking "oh wow, I usually lose 2 pounds overnight, so that would be 212.7, I'm going to bed right now!!!" But instead I came downstairs and I dutifully had a shake, because after all I needed one more meal today. And whatever that number was tonight and will be tomorrow, I will not help things in the long run by skipping meals. Numbers are pretty much a fluke, a general guideline, certainly not an exact science. So I was not compliant today, but I didn't have any Goldfish or cookies or popsicles or anything else truly off-plan.

I did go shopping this week - a lot - today and the two days before today. I am confused by sizes. Before I was a 2x. Now I am an XL. Is this the same as a 1x? Am I to believe that 50 pounds has brought me down only one size? And I bought a pair of size 16 capris and I can almost squeeze into them - I'm thinking by onederland they'll fit. So how can I have gone from a 24 pant to practically a 16, but only from a 2x to an XL? Makes no sense to me.

Then there's the bra thing. I am now apparently a D cup. My boobs grew? Are you kidding me? I bought 3 new bras last night in a 40C - the biggest I ever bought was a 44C, and I had to go up to the C after gaining weight - I used to be a B. Well they all fastened, but the cups were digging into my breasts. So I took them back and today bought one bra in a 38D - fits like a charm. Makes no sense to me, either. Especially since my current 44Cs are getting a little baggy in the cup, so you would think my breasts are shrinking. I think after all is said and done I should find a place that does bra fittings. This is just silly.

And underwear. The biggest I ever bought was an 11 - but that really hurt to have to do that. I don't even know what size my underwear are now - but the ones I bought tonight to match the bra are 8s and they fit. The odd thing is, I only ever remember buying 8s, ever. Maybe a 7 at my smallest.

I'm beginning to think that I was either a) squeezing into undergarments way too small for me at my highest weight, or b) purchasing things way too big for me at my lowest weight. Apparently I have no clue how to buy anything that fits - which makes me question my judgement on every blessed thing I wear. And we've already established that what I see in the mirror is not what's really there - I do not even want to think about what I disaster I must look like when I leave the house some days.

Little NSV today - this business that I started, back in October - well, I haven't seen the woman who recruited me since I think around Christmas. I ran into her in the local Walmart today and she said I looked great. So I like to imagine that seeing me last at my highest weight, and then tonight at almost 50# lighter, was a big change. It gets hard to tell on your own, you know? You start looking the same to yourself every day.

Oh, almost forgot another NSV. There's this - I don't know - camisole? Babydoll? I don't know the word - it's just a nightshirt with spaghetti straps, like a little dress. Well, it was the only thing I had left at my highest weight that "fit" me and could be termed "sexy." At the time, I had to lower the straps all the way just to get it to cover my rear. Tonight I'm wearing it with the straps shortened as far as they'll go, and it STILL falls farther down my legs than it used to.

I'm trying to focus on all these things tonight to remind myself that this is truly what I want to do, where I want to go. I almost wish I could feel what I felt back in December - I can look at those pictures in the studio, and already it doesn't seem like me. I can't relate to that person as much as I used to. And I'm getting this feeling of invincibility, sort of, that I can eat whatever and still lose weight. I don't know where that comes from. And I know intellectually that it's not true. I also know, deep down in my heart of hearts, that I am going to reach goal. I have worked too hard, learned too much, struggled too long to just give up and gain everything back. I just need to police myself, remind myself of my goals.

Well, I'm sorry to anyone who read all this - I know it was mostly babbling. But I've had my shake and my diet soda and typed all the events of my day, so I'm going to go to bed now I think. There's work to do in the kitchen but it's right under the baby's room, so if I make too much noise I might wake her up. Better to wait till morning. Yeah, that's the ticket.

[katieb920]

Nickie,
That is awesome xl,

It goes 3x,2x,1x and then xl. I am so proud of you. Keep doing it. You are an inspiration to a lot of people on this board. You do not fudge the truth you tell it as it is. Sometimes I feel like you and I are twins. Because I am going through the same thing you are.

Congrats on the NSV you deserve it.

[bikipatra]

I did go shopping this week - a lot - today and the two days before today. I am confused by sizes. Before I was a 2x. Now I am an XL. Is this the same as a 1x? Am I to believe that 50 pounds has brought me down only one size? And I bought a pair of size 16 capris and I can almost squeeze into them - I'm thinking by onederland they'll fit. So how can I have gone from a 24 pant to practically a 16, but only from a 2x to an XL? Makes no sense to me.

Then there's the bra thing. I am now apparently a D cup. My boobs grew? Are you kidding me? I bought 3 new bras last night in a 40C - the biggest I ever bought was a 44C, and I had to go up to the C after gaining weight - I used to be a B. Well they all fastened, but the cups were digging into my breasts. So I took them back and today bought one bra in a 38D - fits like a charm. Makes no sense to me, either. Especially since my current 44Cs are getting a little baggy in the cup, so you would think my breasts are shrinking. I think after all is said and done I should find a place that does bra fittings. This is just silly.

The bra issue makes perfect sense. The cup size of a 38D is smaller than a 44C. Cup sizes increase as the band gets bigger. So a 32C cup is much smaller than a 44C cup. Make sense? Now that you are lesser around you would need a larger cup to hold those things up. Also sizes differ from one brand to another. When I go bra shopping I always order several brands , because not all 38F's are created the same. I can squeeze into a 38 DDD at the store but the front part of the bra between your boobs that should be flat always sticks out. I have better luck ordering off figleaves or even Ebay. I got a great strapless bra from Australia that fits like a charm!

And I bought a pair of size 16 capris and I can almost squeeze into them - I'm thinking by onederland they'll fit. So how can I have gone from a 24 pant to practically a 16, but only from a 2x to an XL? Makes no sense to me.

There is no telling how we lose our weight. You are squeezing into size 16 pants and so am I, but I wear a large skirt, medium blouse and size 14 dress.

[nickieluv]

So this morning I had gained 4/10 from last night. I hardly ever - maybe never - weigh more in the morning than I did the night before. So at first I was mad but then I remembered that I wasn't compliant yesterday. So I'm fine with it. Serves me right.

Thanks for explaining about the bras, Biki. All three of the C cups and the D cup came from separate manufacturers. It never ocurred to me that 2 C cups could be different sizes depending on the band size. I thought a C was a C. I just always have thought of D cup people as - well, as big as yours were in that green blouse before losing weight. I mean no disrespect by that, I hope you know. I am not a part of the DDD or F world. And I've always thought of myself as having small breasts, so to be buying a D cup is really weird, because in my mind that's the biggest bra you can buy. My husband was thrilled, though - same old boobs, but now that they're in a D package he looks at them in a new light, I guess.

OK, enough breast talk. Sorry to go on and on about it.

I'm off to a bad start today because I was awake for almost 2 hours before eating anything - I just forgot, we were cleaning and when things don't follow my usual routine I have a hard time remembering. I'll have to work on that for summer - it's looking like that's going to be a dangerous time for me, just in terms of eating at all, let alone eating the right things.

Thank you, Katie, for your comment about my honesty. It's a big deal to me to tell the unvarnished truth. Even though I waffled about it a couple of cheats ago, not wanting to post a gain. It's not pretty, but I think it's important - most of all to me. If I go back someday and read this, I want it to be true. I can imagine that at some point I'll tell myself that losing the weight wasn't that hard, MF made it so easy, so go ahead and have that third slice of pizza because if you gain a little weight this year, you can lose it right away. Times like that I might need a peek at my journal to remind me of all the struggles I had, and how miserable I was at my highest weight.

On the other hand - the cravings really are lessening, and in some cases are gone completely. I used to LOVE Chinese food, and now I have no desire to put all that grease in my body. Even when I've cheated, I've avoided it. And pizza - I've wanted it, but every time I've given in it was disappointing and I felt icky. And then I just watched "Fast Food Nation" after reading the book, and should have no desire to eat fast food again - but I think they must put some kind of addictive chemical in it, because how could I know how gross it is and still be convinced that MY burger would be perfectly clean? But I think the more I love myself and my body, the less I will want to pollute it. I can see myself being perfectly happy eating fruit and yogurt and light, reasonable meals. That's part of the MF blessing, I guess - I've gotten used to eating less, so even when I cheat I am full much faster and not consuming nearly the amount of food I used to.

Lots of talk about cheating up there - all past tense. I feel wonderful and even though I may doubt that I could possibly feel any better, I want to find out firsthand. On the express route now, I hope - no more detours!

[Tawanda]

Hello Nickie!!!! I hope you have a great weekend!

[Mike]

...how could I know how gross it is and still be convinced that MY burger would be perfectly clean? But I think the more I love myself and my body, the less I will want to pollute it.

... I feel wonderful and even though I may doubt that I could possibly feel any better, I want to find out firsthand. On the express route now, I hope - no more detours!

I hear you on the fast food. I remind myself of this on a daily basis. If more people understood this (even people on medifast), the less money the fast food industry would make.

We are glad that you have a better mindset, and you are on that express route now.

[bikipatra]

of And I've always thought of myself as having small breasts, so to be buying a D cup is really weird, because in my mind that's the biggest bra you can buy. My husband was thrilled, though - same old boobs, but now that they're in a D package he looks at them in a new light, I guess.

Is this why you were asking pregnancy questions in another thread?

[nickieluv]

Why yes, Biki, as a matter of fact - not that you wanted to know....

[bikipatra]

Why yes, Biki, as a matter of fact - not that you wanted to know....

I deserved that.

[nickieluv]

When am I going to finally realize that any time the scale goes down it's good news?

I weighed in at 215 today - but I waited a few minutes a la Karli and weighed again and got 214.5 - I'm taking that one. That waiting thing never works for me so I'm taking it.

It's like on Sunday mornings, if I don't see a grandiose loss, then all my talk of feeling thin and being hopeful and loving MF go right in the toilet. Then Monday comes and it starts all over again.

But on the whole 1.8# is a good loss, really. It's just that you have the newbies always chiming in with 5, 8, 11 pounds - and the occasional big-time loss from a regular member - and you wonder 'why can't that be me?!?!"

Anyway, pity party over. Off to church, going to have a relaxing day, eat only the right foods - for all I know my L&G was just too salty last night and that's why the small loss. Not that it matters. Any loss is good and is moving in the right direction. OK then, I'll be repeating that today. So long!

[bikipatra]

Have a good day, Nickie.

[Mike]

But on the whole 1.8# is a good loss, really.

Just think, by tomorrow we may be able to put you in the 50# club

Have a great day.