The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Mike]

Nickie,
Glad you are doing well on program now. Sorry you have had the struggles, but as I say, whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
I am so proud of you for planning ahead like you do. Thats what you have to do sometimes, especially when things aren't the "norm" at home or work.

I have been struggling myself for a time, and have been compliant the past couple weeks, and guess what... I have lost. Amazing huh? I'm finally in the 70# club, and I have faith that you will be moving up clubs very soon.

Glad you are doing well, and proud of you for setting up the BeSlim order. Its only better for you. Good luck and have a blessed day.

[nickieluv]

Thanks all. I'm hoping that there will be nothing to say food-wise about tonight's event, because I'm hoping it won't even be an issue. And I have not liked these struggles, but they were necessary. I don't think I would have made it this long on plan without struggles, ironically. If it wasn't hard, I wouldn't think it was working! But that's just me.

Well, our company should be here any minute - I was just killing time. Today was a nice day - not too short, not too long - got a lot of cleaning done - and I'm looking forward to a relaxing tomorrow. And of course I'm kind of holding my breath to see what the scale will say in the morning. I'd better get some more water in - I've only had 32oz today which is way low for me. Never thought I'd be saying that!

Thank you for the well-wishes. It's nice to know you're all here for me. And I will be returning the favor whenever I can!

[nickieluv]

Yesterday was a non-issue on the food. I ate my soup and soy crisps while everyone else had pizza and wings, and later I had hot cocoa to finish the day. And the neatest thing happened - there were two pieces of pizza left after our friends left. When they were warm and cheesy and gooey they looked really good; sitting there all cold and hard and greasy on the table they looked anything but! I actually could not believe I would put something like that in my mouth before.

However, chocolate is still beckoning. Those Cadbury eggs are in stores now and I almost bought a pack the other day. However, I was thinking that if and only if I lost 40 pounds by Easter, I would let myself have a pack. Then I realized that there was no reaon to eat 4 of them - they sell them in singles, and I could just buy one egg and enjoy that without binging. Progress? Although I am starting to doubt that I will even want one come Easter. Every day on-plan counts and I really want to be under 200 by July 4th.

Losing 4.5lbs this week helped my resolve, of course. I was so grateful for the number on the scale this morning. I wanted to see something great as a reward for sticking to it last night. I would have been happy with anything that wasn't a gain - but I lost 2 pounds since yesterday. So a really stellar week of loss. It puts me two weeks ahead of my goal date on my weight graph. Six weeks ahead gets me to July 1st. I plotted my graph with an average of 2lbs a week, though - I must keep that word 'average' in mind and remember that not all weeks will be 4.5 pounds. And I may yet encounter a dreaded week of no loss at all. I do know these things, but it's hard not to get excited. And a little excitement is not going to hurt me I think!

Yesterday cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found the box of 'almost fits' clothes that I had packed up in the fall. I had misplaced it and been looking for them for a week or so. I unpacked it, and while I did not have a chance to try things on since I had to get ready for church, I did pull out this one black sweater with a v-neck and 3/4 sleeves that I really like. I was sad the day I had to admit it pulled too much across my belly to wear it. Well, I wore it to church with my black dress pants (which by the way were very saggy and baggy in the butt - oh, so close to buying new pants!!) and I just felt svelte. The sweater came right over my belly and hips with no stretching, just a good fit. I am pretty excited to try on the other things and see what I can add to my closet. I may even try to get those 18W pants on. And then I may be removing some items that are just not flattering any more, and sending them off to charity. Or to my mom and sister, who might be able to wear them a little before they are too small for the clothes, too!

No one but me is doing MF, but still it is nice to have my family all trying to lose weight together. I am having such great success, and who knows? Maybe I was part of the reason they all got started with Atkins, as Karli hinted at. I know that part of the reason I finally got serious was seeing my cousin lose over 100 pounds on her own, just counting calories. I can't wait to celebrate the success of my whole family, and hopefully get more people on board with a healthy, active lifestyle where we all have the energy to spend more time together!

Well, here's to another great week of compliance and moving forward in my life. And feeling like a winner even though I'm a loser!

[Karli]

YAY, Nickie. I get so happy about your progress on your journey. You are doing very well and you made such great choices yesterday and last night, and yes, how wonderful to be rewarded with your lowered weight this morning for roll call.

Keep Rockin' !!

Karli

[katieb920]

Nickie,
I am so excited for you. I can here the excitement in your words. You are doing fabulous. Great job on not eating the pizza. I know how you feel that was my favorite also. Who knows mabye by easter you wont even want those cadbury eggs. Also great nsv on the sweater and the pants.

[Tawanda]

Nickie, good for you for staying on program and for the NSV of the sweater! There are so many bonuses for sticking to this and not wavering.

I have to agree with whomever it was that said those Cadbury eggs will be in the stores next year. Right now, they may be more of a hindrance to you getting to goal than any benefit. Maybe you can come up with some non-food item that you'd really like to treat yourself with, instead of the candy. The candy's taste will be fleeting......think of something that will stay with you for a lot longer and will remind you of how you are working towards being in the best shape you've ever been in.

You did awesome last night!

[nickieluv]

On the candy subject - I am hopeful that I won't want one when the time comes. But realizing if I do, I can have one and not 4 or 8 is new for me. I am used to consuming mass quantities. Otherwise it's not worth eating it (in the past).

Today - I am calling it a compliant day. Work was fine on plan as always. I had my L&G really early - at 4, right when I got home. I was feeling extremely hungry. Not long after I had my soy crisps. I started thinking about food. Yummy off-plan food. Ordering it, eating it - contemplating who I would call, what I really felt like getting.

6 came - time for the baby to eat. I cooked her dinner and did not want a supplement. I just bought my husband some Atkins bars yesterday. They looked so good - especially since I've been without bars for a week now. They were my daily chocolate fix and man I miss them. He had already eaten the one that was really tempting me - but I had a different one. Just the one. I ate it, fed the little one, had nothing else. Still was thinking that after she went to bed, if I still wanted to cheat (more), I would. Even considered her Nilla Wafer cookies - but knew if I had one, she'd want one, and I didn't want her snacking so late.

While rocking her to sleep, I realized I didn't even want to eat my last supplement. I just wanted to fall in bed after putting her down. I wasn't hungry - I was tired. Earlier I WAS hungry - but then I was just thinking in my old habitual ways. And I was lonely - wanted my husband to come home early, but he couldn't. Although I got a phone call 30 minutes ago and they are sending him home early anyway because of the bad weather outside tonight - state of emergency, roads closed, so they let the workers go.

Why did this happen tonight? Well, temptation is just going to always be around me. I have to face that. I was tired. I was lonely. I was hungry. Three of the HALT triggers. And what's this? I was a little angry. I was up half a pound today and I was disappointed. I don't know if that's the same as angry. On the surface I know it was a blip, a normal fluctuation. But I still have these knee-jerk reactions and I honestly just want to lose 2 pounds a day and be at goal next month.

Anyway, I started this by saying I was counting it as a day of compliance. I know I had an Atkins bar and not an MF bar, but they must be pretty close. I'm not planning on making this a permanent switch - this had nothing on my chocolate mint bars! - but it's along the same lines I'm sure nutrition-wise and besides, I just can't see not calling this a compliant day when I've come through this type of thing AGAIN without cheating, whatever my initial intentions were. It's a success for me, if not a by-the-book MF day. I'm counting it, damn it. I deserve it today.

So here's why I came here in the first place. I am wondering if I am starting to put in place some behaviors that are helping me instead of sabotaging me. Two months ago I would have just ordered the food, eaten it, and THEN felt bad. Karli posted some revelations in her journal tonight - like if you think about it, you still don't have to eat it. If you take a bite, you don't have to finish it. There were times in January when I was off plan, and I didn't want to eat anymore, but I felt I had to because it was there.

I'm just having a hard time putting my finger on why I didn't go over the edge this time. Everything seemed to be exactly the same in terms of my circumstances, my feelings, my opportunities - but I didn't cheat. I do not know why I didn't order the food when I wanted it, and instead made myself wait until after putting my daughter to bed. And while I was doing that, I had the realization that I didn't want to eat. These seem like self-preserving behaviors that are cropping up. I like them - I want them and need more of them - but it's strange. I wish I could say what was different.

I have a hard time saying I'M different. Like there must be some force outside of me that is helping me succeed. Although, as I type that - isn't there? I do believe that I could not be making these changes without God. So why do I believe that, but feel like it's wrong for me to believe that? I've heard how I need to take credit and take responsibility for my behavior, so I guess 'it's a miracle' doesn't cut it.

Maybe I will have a different perspective tomorrow. Now I think I'm just rehashing and being redundant and not getting anywhere. So I'm going to finish up my online stuff and then get my hot cocoa and go to bed. And check online to see if my order has shipped yet - getting to be slim pickings around here.

[Karli]

On the candy subject - I am hopeful that I won't want one when the time comes. But realizing if I do, I can have one and not 4 or 8 is new for me. I am used to consuming mass quantities. Otherwise it's not worth eating it (in the past).

You know, I am in full support of you doing (and telling yourself) whatever you need to keep yourself on track in the moment (which is actually all that matters). It's often said "one meal at a time" or "three hours at a time" and sometimes for some people, that means giving oneself permission at a later date in order to get through those moments at hand. If it's really "one meal at a time" or "three hours at a time" then we don't have to make up our mind now about the rest of our journey. If permission at a later date keeps you on track in the moment, then that's what it takes. It has often stopped the steam engine for me, I have found. And, you have every right to change your mind about eating it later, too.

The bottom line is that we have to learn how to make decisions that foster trust within ourself. Period.

Plus, you may get to that day and decide you don't want it. Or maybe not, but you don't have to decide that now. You have already made the only decision you need to make and that was "not now" and that should rightly be celebrated for sure (no matter what it took to get you there).

[nickieluv]

Ho hum. Odd day today. Tired now and going to bed soon.

Snow day - don't get me started. We'd damn well better not have one tomorrow or I will scream. Three weeks ago we were supposed to do our 1st grade musical, and had two snow days and had to reschedule - for tomorrow. Now today we had a snow day on our last rehearsal day. I am beginning to think this frickin' show will never be over!!!!

So, I tried to sleep in today. From 5:30 to 10:40 I'm lucky if I got 2 hours in. But I did not have a supplement, with one thing and another, until almost noon. Then at about 1:15 I had my L&G because my husband was cooking his lunch. At 3:45, before my piano lessons, I had another Atkins bar. I may be pushing my luck but it didn't seem to have ill effects when I had one yesterday - and I'm trying to stretch my supplements. If my food is not here by Thursday, I will be completely out except for crackers and soy crisps. I don't even have tracking info yet. Based on past experience, I thought ordering on Friday would be plenty of time. Anyway - all my lessons paid in cash today. This hasn't happened in several weeks. And I was feeling tempted. So I bundled up the baby and went to return some pants - and I found a new pair, and two pairs of shoes on sale, and then some household things we needed. So I spent all the cash and it wasn't on food - except the baby's Goldfish crackers, which I am not eating. But, I didn't get in my next supplement until 8:45 - way too long. So I had soup and cocoa at the same time, and in another few minutes I'm going to have some chili, and then get to bed hopefully by 10.

I didn't realize at first, but when I got home thought that this was another of those protective behaviors. I was subconsciously shopping to spend all the money. And when I got home and thought about ordering in, I just couldn't because I didn't have any money. And then I thought about having something low-carb - pork rind nachos - yes, I know, eeeeeewww - and realized I was kidding myself and I was just going to stay on plan and why was I trying so hard to go off?

So my eating schedule was way off today - and not a drop of water - and I really don't think that counts as compliant. But I'm adding it to my calendar anyway. I've decided at this point that anything that isn't a binge or way off plan will count as compliant. I think it is more important for me to make it to Easter, whatever that takes - and my definition of 'on-plan' is not being too liberal here, I don't think. But I will try not to have an Atkins bar tomorrow - and even though it will be the show and I'll have an odd schedule, I've already got my meals planned out so I will not miss any and will not have huge gaps like today. I'm a tad nervous about what I'll do Friday if my food hasn't shown up by then. But I know you can have milk in a pinch - and I can still have L&G - and a bar if I absolutely have to. Man oh man, I hope it gets here.

So today makes day 15 - and 4.5 weeks to go until Easter. When I make it that far, I'm going to try to keep going until my next doctor's appointment on 4/19. Then my birthday on 5/16. Then the end of school. One meal at a time, yes - but also having these kind of monthly goals for compliance keeps me going. I would love to make it to goal compliant. That's a bit too far ahead for me to be thinking right now. But it no longer seems like such a great sacrifice. I'm not thinking so much about what I could be eating. This is what I have to do to be healthy. And it will all be worth it. My next event is weighing in at the doctor's again. He hadn't weighed me since March of last year, so he thought I'd lost 16lbs in like 10 months. But if I've lost 20 pounds in two months, I wonder if he'll still be supportive. I did show him what I'm eating, and he didn't have any negative comments. But I know you're not supposed to lose weight too quickly according to the medical establishment, and I'm averaging 3lbs a week in this latest stretch since the end of January and I don't know if that will still be acceptable to him.

Well, it's time for that last supplement, and then bed. Off I go.

[nickieluv]

First of all, we did NOT have a snow day today, and the weather looks great, so the show is finally going to happen! Dress rehearsal this morning went really well. I think it will be a success - but still, it will be nice to have it over with already!

I THINK I had an NSV this morning. I wore one of my new pairs of pants (size 18!!!!) and while I am squeezing into them just a tad I figure that just means they'll last longer as I drop the pounds. Well, one of the teachers (a skinny little toothpick herself) commented on my outfit and really liked it. So I THINK I heard her say to another teacher as I walked away, "Is she getting skinnier?" Whether that's what she said or not, that's what I'm choosing to believe, so I can FINALLY say that someone besides my family noticed!

Last night on my way to bed I tried on all my new 'teen size' (as in I'm not wearing size 24W anymore - these are 18 MISSES!!!!) pants and yes they were all a little squeeze, but not uncomfortable, and I was just thinking to myself - why do I keep having the urge to cheat? What am I doing to myself? This feels wonderful!!!! So maybe - just maybe - I can remember this when I'm feeling tempted. I have not given in for 15 days, but since I hit the 230s I've been having issues again - another milestone. I don't remember when I weighed this little.

Anyway - class coming - goodbye!

[fairladyj]

Here's something that might help you resist the Cadbury eggs:

You have to get really clear picture of a soft-boiled egg in your mind - see it, smell it, picture yourself cracking it open.

Now - picture it dipped in chocolate. Disgusting, right?

That's what happens to me without even trying when I see those commercials - I've never been able to even taste one of those little boogers - it turns my stomache just to think of them, even tho I am a serious chocaholic from way back.

Hope it helps

[nickieluv]

Thanks for the thought, Jen. The thing is, yes I like how they taste, but this is more an emotional thing. I always got them for Easter from my dad and it's still been a tradition even now that I'm an adult. I usually just get them for myself, or my husband will buy me some, or, one year, my dad got cases of them on sale for $1 a piece and we kept them in the freezer. It should have been a year's supply - they lasted about two months.

What I am really doing now is giving myself permission to have one later if I want it. Because it's such an emotional food item, I need that permission so that I don't feel a big loss. I am about 60% sure (and it's growing every day) that I will not have any this year - especially since I know it's about my childhood and not about the eggs. But that window is still open, for my comfort level.

Well, I still have to eat my green beans and then zip back out for the musical tonight. It's been a long day - I will be glad when it's over. Then it's on to the high school musical starting next week. Only two weeks of that, though, then another two weeks and it will be Easter. I can so do this. My countdown is to lose 40 pounds by mid-April. That's a total of 40, not 40 MORE - I'm realistic, you see. That's only 15 more pounds.

[Karli]

My countdown is to lose 40 pounds by mid-April. That's a total of 40, not 40 MORE - I'm realistic, you see. That's only 15 more pounds.

This reminds me of something I have been noticing in people's thought-patterns around here, and something that I can now see in my own. Can you believe that you just said "that's only 15 more pounds ?"

Do you remember when a 1 pound loss seemed nearly impossible ? I remember it in my own life, for sure. But I notice that as we people sink into the wonders of our program, we start to have less intimidation and more confidence toward the weight loss challenges that we face. We start to be able to put a sort of time-frame on what we can expect, knowing we can more or less expect it as long as we stick to the program. What a gift .

I hope your musical goes well, I bet it will. You seem to really put a lot of effort and attention into what you do with those kids.

[nickieluv]

Karli, you are so right. It didn't even register what I was saying - ONLY 15 more pounds. On any other diet I would scratch and tear and claw my way to a measly 5 pound loss in a month - only to give up (and usually much sooner than a month from starting!). The joy of this program is the confidence it gives you - with realistic results, but still wonderful results! MF doesn't say you'll lose 100 pounds in 100 days - but I am averaging 3 pounds a week and I think that's both realistic and highly motivating.

I try not to think about where I would be if I hadn't given up last summer. I re-read my journal when I first came back on program and I could tell I was just not ready, though. It wasn't my fault or MF's fault - I just wasn't there yet. Now I am there, and here, and I just know I can do this. I anticipate struggles - just to be prepared for them - but I'm optimistic that they will be nothing more than what I can handle.

The show went well - I won't be fired yet. Now it's soup, some TV, more soup, then bed. Oh, and I got tracking for my order finally - it will be here tomorrow!!!! I guess I need to place an extra order this month for some 'just in case' boxes of food. The last week to 10 days has been tough with so little variety, and missing the things I really like. It'll be like a smorgasboard tomorrow night when I have to choose dinner!

[Karli]

I try not to think about where I would be if I hadn't given up last summer.

You know, as you continue on and keep going, and especially as you near your goal-weight and REALIZE you are really getting there (sometimes it's easy to not realize it), none of that will matter. I can almost promise you that .

But you know, you didn't give up. Otherwise you wouldn't be here right now. So, maybe you had to sort some stuff out and didn't even think about the program during that time, but obviously a better part of you was still reaching for a better life. And, that's you; that's who you are. And, you are winning .

I am excited for your new MF delivery to arrive. I still LOVE it when the big brown truck shows up to my life with a bunch of my favorite MF yummies . And, pretty soon, I will have whittled it ALL down to my favorites. These days I am learning how to do that in my life, it's really fun .