The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

bikipatra · by **bikipatra** » February 6th, 2007, 2:40 am

How are you this morning, Nickie?

nickieluv · by **nickieluv** » February 6th, 2007, 6:05 am

Good morning! I'm feeling good so far today, thanks for asking, turtle-patra. :lol:

I got on the scale, and I was back down, a little lower than Sunday even. I know in the past I would have seen that gain yesterday and just given up - I'm glad this one only lasted one day, but now I have some experience that's positive and I can build on if it happens again.

I do have to go to work today - ick - not that I don't like my job, but you know, who wouldn't rather snuggle up in bed instead of go to work on a freezing cold day?

I also had an interesting dream last night. I always joke that my dreams could be blockbuster movies, but since time is short I'll just put the relevant part here. I wound up in a McDonald's that was closed, but all these people showed up, and I had to tell them the restaurant was closed. By the time they left I was tired, so I sat at a table and was thinking - and realized I was chewing a french fry! And in my dream, I said to myself 'why are you eating this fry? You don't want this, you're better than that!' And I got up and spit out the fry.

Odd dream, but interesting - at no point did I dream of putting the fry in my mouth, it was just there - anyway, I read Robin's journal post this morning and she was dreaming so it made me think of mine.

Well, I wanted to be to work by now - but I have two more things to do at home, so I'd better run. I have a long day today - work, lessons, then counseling - so actually I guess I'd better think about when I'm going to fit in that L&G. Is it OK to have that as your last meal? Not ideal, I'm sure, but if that's my only option? Or is it better to make today a supplements only day and have 6? I'll be pondering that some today.

Serendipity · by **Serendipity** » February 6th, 2007, 6:37 am

Nickie, You can have your L&G for any meal.

nickieluv · by **nickieluv** » February 6th, 2007, 9:25 am

Thanks, Jo - it hasn't come up before today and because of what my L&G usually is (meat and salad or meat and veggies) I just assumed it should be either lunch or dinner. It shall be my last meal of the day today, then.

On another note - I am eagerly awaiting my next order. I placed it very late Friday night so I'm hoping to see it today or tomorrow - but definitely this week. I'm doing great but shakes are getting old fast....

Speaking of shakes - when you pour a packet into a water bottle, did you know that you should only rip a corner off and not the whole top of the packet? Most of my swiss mocha shake at 11 wound up on my hand. Duh! :roll:

katieb920 · by **katieb920** » February 6th, 2007, 9:37 am

Nickie you know what is great about this dream you know in your heart not to eat it and you didn't. If you can dream it you can do it. That is just great.

bikipatra · by **bikipatra** » February 6th, 2007, 9:46 am

nickieluv wrote:Thanks, Jo - it hasn't come up before today and because of what my L&G usually is (meat and salad or meat and veggies) I just assumed it should be either lunch or dinner. It shall be my last meal of the day today, then.
:

You could always have an omelette for breakfast if you wanted. We are allowed real eggs twice a week I think. Maybe 3.

nickieluv · by **nickieluv** » February 6th, 2007, 10:28 am

Thanks - I've often read about your omelettes, Biki, when you mention them in your journal, but I would only have time to make one on the weekends. They sound delicious, though! It will definitely be good to have another idea for variety.

DogMa · by **DogMa** » February 6th, 2007, 10:42 am

There's nothing wrong with having an omelet for dinner, either. Yummm.

bikipatra · by **bikipatra** » February 6th, 2007, 10:52 am

nickieluv wrote:Thanks - I've often read about your omelettes, Biki, when you mention them in your journal, but I would only have time to make one on the weekends. They sound delicious, though! It will definitely be good to have another idea for variety.

They are quicker than grilling a piece of chicken.

nickieluv · by **nickieluv** » February 6th, 2007, 1:55 pm

katieb920 wrote:Nickie you know what is great about this dream you know in your heart not to eat it and you didn't. If you can dream it you can do it. That is just great.

Thanks, Katie. It certainly is not like any dream I've ever had before! Maybe I'm dreaming about food now because it is not filling my every waking moment!

Robin and Biki - I never think of eggs for dinner, but I will try to now. The thing is, usually my husband is cooking my meat for me all in one shot and then I parcel it out over the week, because being home alone with the baby I don't like to stand at a hot stove - she's very curious now and I am too worried that she'll get underfoot somehow. I know, I'm overcautious when it comes to her.

Good news - my package of food will be here tomorrow. I can't wait to try something different finally!

I got a little off-schedule today and am one shake short at the moment. I think I'm just going to wait until after lessons to have it, then have my L&G when I get home from the counselor's, and then another shake right before bed. I was actually busy working at work today and I went right past shake time without thinking.

As for counseling - I wonder what it will be like today. I've been feeling so great since our last session, when I had kind of a revelation, and I wonder if it could really be true that there was only that one thing bothering me. I mean, why else did it suddenly become relatively easy to stay on plan, and not turn to food for comfort? I really have felt at peace and - believe it or not - happy lately. So I'm interested to know what we'll discover tonight. I keep talking about all these levels of mental defense keeping me from my secrets - but what if there was just that one issue? It was a biggie, for me anyway - that's what counts, though, is me, in this case. I tend to over-analyze and over-think - so maybe I'm trying to create more issues than there are, rather than trust these feelings.

Well, piano lessons begin very soon, so I'll go now. If tonight is a mother of a session, I may be back - or, I may just take it easy tonight and lounge with some TV. The baby is spending the night at Grandma's tonight so I will have a quiet house. I really miss her, but I also like having a little time when I don't have to worry about her every second. Those moments are few and far between with my husband on nights. It's like we're both single parents except on weekends. Anyway - toodles.

bikipatra · by **bikipatra** » February 6th, 2007, 2:20 pm

I hope your counseling session goes well tonight! When it's time for more to be revealed, it will be.

DonicaB · by **DonicaB** » February 6th, 2007, 3:50 pm

Hi Nickie~ I just wanted to say, you're doing great. You really have a great attitude. I love reading it, because it is contagious.

DonicaB :bananadance:

katieb920 · by **katieb920** » February 6th, 2007, 5:19 pm

nickieluv wrote:Well, piano lessons begin very soon, so I'll go now. If tonight is a mother of a session, I may be back - or, I may just take it easy tonight and lounge with some TV. The baby is spending the night at Grandma's tonight so I will have a quiet house. I really miss her, but I also like having a little time when I don't have to worry about her every second. Those moments are few and far between with my husband on nights. It's like we're both single parents except on weekends. Anyway - toodles.

I hope you have a great night by yourself. I cherished those nights. My husband and were able to do that every 6 months or so when Matthew was young. It does not happen that often now but when we do get the chance it is wonderful........ I do have to say I do have the best Mother in law.

nickieluv · by **nickieluv** » February 6th, 2007, 8:24 pm

Well, I did check in after all. Hi.

The session was - odd. She didn't seem to think I needed to come back again. I have until March 9th to call her before she 'closes the file' in case I think I need to come back. I felt kind of sad leaving without making another appointment - but I also think four weeks is enough time to test out these new feelings and see where I get with them.

Anyway, she suggested I journal what changes I've made lately. I told her it seems like I woke up one day and things were just better - and my husband agrees, from his perspective. She said that may well be, but in that case I was probably laying the groundwork for these changes for quite a while. So in my paper journal I wrote a couple of pages, and I'll keep exploring those ideas.

As to whether there's still something that I need to remember or learn about myself - Biki's right, it will all come out in it's own time. Maybe I just need a mental break to get used to all these changes. There's no reason I have to barrel ahead and discover/fix everything all at once. Maybe there really is nothing else, or maybe it's just not time for me to reveal it - either way, I can't control that, and that's my new revelation.

I've had it backwards for a long time - trying to control things that I can't possibly, and allowing myself to be controlled by things that shouldn't have that power. So I am controlling food instead of vice versa - and I am not trying to control my husband and his every move, because I can't. LIFE IS EASIER THIS WAY - the counselor said it's important I should remember that, and remember the feeling.

Well, before I go I just want to say that I think I had an NSV today - already! One of the aides at school took my picture for a poster she was making. Today I saw the poster, and my face looked thinner to me. I almost didn't mind looking at myself. Of course, she took the face and put it on this gorgeous dancer's body, which didn't hurt things either! :mrgreen:

nickieluv · by **nickieluv** » February 7th, 2007, 6:14 am

OK - I really should be at work by now but -

I got on the scale this morning not expecting much, because I was up late last night (and also not expecting much because that's just safer for me mentally in terms of the scale). As I stepped on I said to myself "please, just something with a 1 in it, that would be great." Well, my jaw dropped completely when something with a 9 in it came up!! 249.7 :woohoo:

Now, I know it will go up and down some more before Sunday when it's 'official,' but holy cow! If this is what I can look forward to (even if only sometimes) why on earth would I want to sabotage this?

I'm up to 80oz of plain water a day now, and I am really looking forward to time going by and seeing how I look in another month or two - I'd say how I feel, but I already feel pretty awesome today so I imagine I can look forward to more of the same!

OK, must go - late for a meeting - called 'Midwinter Feast' so maybe being late for that isn't so bad....

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