The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Nurcyn]

Hi Nickie,

Just checking in with ya!! Doing ok??

[katieb920]

Hey girly How are you?

[Karli]

c'mon Nickie ... can you really resist us for this long ? Hope you are doing okay ! Come and say something to us so we can read it and then say things back to you again ... hee hee.

[nickieluv]

Hi - I've been struggling. Not with food - with me. Trying to figure out what I want. I am just not sure at all anymore. And I do miss you all as online friends and people - I just didn't feel like I ever had the strength to come and catch up. Each day I didn't come here, I imagined how many more posts were going up, and I felt like I'd need a whole day to read and respond. And I still don't feel I have the energy - so I'm taking the easy/wimpy way out and just sneaking in with a 'hello.'

I really do hope you are all doing well. I don't know what I'm doing right now, but I'm happy. Not with my weight, of course. But everything else is really wonderful. Bills are paid, kids are great, marriage is strong, love life is improving - that last is pretty amazing, too, considering how big I am. Somehow I am able to almost forget about it and just enjoy myself.

So here's what I accomplished on my maternity leave. Raised a healthy child - check. Didn't get behind on any bills - check. Somehow managed to start the leave with about 30 pairs of shoes and end it with 107 - check. But they were almost all on sale and some have awesome bling on them. Some are just too high to wear at 270+ pounds, so I even have goal shoes.

[Nurcyn]

Hi Nickie!

Good for you, ESPECIALLY with the finances. I'm horrible with them so I admire anyone who is on top of things. I understand how you're feeling...some days it's just too much to get on and post anything. One step at a time.....some days that's all that can be done!! Hope you had a great holiday...I managed to survive 3 days of a getaway with only one slip, which was rum cake that I made and just HAD to sample, Hang in there!!

[Karli]

Hey Nickie, well, you certainly don't have to read every little thing just to come here and check in. Believe it or not, I think that people just like you, and enjoy reading what you have to say when you feel like posting. And, it is noticeable when you are gone, that's all. I have noticed though that you are a considerate and caring person, that you read people's posts carefully, and you respond in a way that is meant to let the person you are responding to know that you have taken the time to actually read what they have posted ... and I realize that takes time and energy ! And, on top of that, you are going through a time of realizing that you don't have to live your life solely for others ... and, at least in my experience, pretty much everything under the sun can begin to feel as though you are doing it out of obligation to somebody else ! So, just know that it's good to hear from you, just getting an update on how YOU are doing ... and it's always nice to have your responses in other threads, too.

In any event, I hope you are at least enjoying your shoesies .

[Stihl]

Hey Nickie.

Its great that everything else in your life is going great. And I know you don't mean for it too, but you shouldn't let it distract you from your goal of being at a healthy weight.

I know a lot of times if things are going well for me I will gloss over things I need to improve on because hey, how bad can that thing be if my life is going so well? But in the back of my mind I know that this thing needs to be addressed, and that while I should absolutely be proud of myself for my accomplishments there is still something more there to do.

Reading back over the last few weeks of your journal I see you've had your issues with on/off. I think we've all had those issues. Its okay. But its important to keep fighting, to keep pushing forward, and I hope that you're able to do that and achieve the success you deserve. You've had it once, I know you can have it again!

[nickieluv]

Well, I've popped into a few journals and I can see that I'm not the only one who's been AWOL lately.

Not on plan. In fact, I have all the MF packed away (the things that won't expire any time soon) and waiting for me when I am ready. It got to be - I'm not sure what word to use - but anyway, it didn't feel good to open the cupboards every day and bypass my MF for the popcorn or whatever. So now it's just not in there. Avoidance, yes. Denial, probably.

Ostensibly I am working now on my portion sizes and exercising, and cutting down on junk food. None of that has happened yet. Really just marking time, wasting time, however you want to look at it. Broke down and bought some tops in 2x so I'd have more than three shirts to choose from. Only have 1 pair of jeans that fit, one skirt, one pair of black knit pants. In serious wardrobe trouble.

Also typing sentence fragments. Interesting. I think it's a symptom of my disconnect - I am not investing the time to complete my thoughts.

I am unhappy in some ways, absolutely over the moon in other ways. I keep telling myself that 'the weight thing' will 'just work itself out' one of these days. But I don't really believe it. I need discipline, order, and follow-through. And none of that sounds like any darn fun. Boo hoo for me, I know. Get over it and do something.

So anyway - nothing much has changed in the past two weeks, except my girls are each a year older (no funky time-travel stuff, just birthdays) and the days are all running together way too quickly as I get ready to go back to work. I do truly believe work will help me, if only because I'll be too busy to eat.

Man, I sound way more depressed in print than I do in my head!! It's just nap time here at the house, and I just finished lunch (which was not anything good for me), and it's in the 80s here today and it's so quiet right now, and so I'm getting drowsy. I really am feeling pretty good over all. There are things I need to change but right now I'm fighting momentum - it's easier not to change, of course. But there are major changes coming in September with work so in a way, maybe I'm just enjoying the peace right now.

Well, there's my self-indulgent update. I hope others are doing well, wherever you are! And Robin, congrats on losing 12 pounds in a year. Who cares if it was a different scale or you'd just eaten or gravity was stronger a year ago? You did it!

[sidrah]

Hey!! I couldn't remember. Are you going back to school this year or waiting. I start again this week and I truly wish I could rewind time. There are going to be so many problems once parents find out there will be no resource and it will be all inclusion this year. Anyway, I foresee lots of screaming and phone calls the first 2 weeks of school. I get to handle special ed. problems so that will most likely be my first week.

How are the kids and home stuff doing??

[oksoonergirl26]

Hey,

Sorry to hear that you are so down, but just remember even if you aren't on plan,the fact that the you are thinking about portion control and not eating junk food tells me that you do still care and eventually it will work itself out. I understand about the clothes-when you aren't feeling good, you definitely need to buy something that you feel comfortable and pretty in-even if it is a size larger.

[Stihl]

Hey Nickie - how are you doing? Please come back!

[oksoonergirl26]

Nickie-please check in with the board, I miss you!

[Stihl]

Nickie Nickie Nickie please check in!

[katieb920]

HEy girl How are you doing. How are the girls.

Just saying HI.

[sidrah]

Hi. What's been going on? Hope everything is okay. School starting is always a busy time!