I'm so glad you're joining the compliance challenge. I feel that if you get a couple of weeks under your belt, even out your sugar levels and see a loss, you might feel better and be more motivated! I'm so happy for you!
You're right, there's no perfect time and a lot of life will always be out of control. I take comfort in the fact that THIS (what I put in my mouth) is something I can control even when the rest of the world is out of control!
We're here if you need us!
DeDe
The MakeMeThinner Support Forum
Weight loss,health management and diet program. Terry & Nancy Pettit (Presidential Health Coaches)
Nickieluv
by nickieluv » January 28th, 2007, 6:24 pm
Well, I had a very indulgent weekend in terms of sugar and carbs - but in most cases my eyes were bigger than my stomach, and I was down another pound this week. So even though I haven't been meeting my goals concerning MF, changes are slowly happening.
I am psyched about starting tomorrow. I know I feel so much lighter and healthier when I'm on this plan - I can still vaguely remember that week of compliance last month and it felt good. I bought bouillion (sp?) cubes and sugarless gum for the possible cravings I might have. I just need to get through it, and I can, and I will.
It seems to be helping, being in love with my husband again. I don't know what's happened but he says it's me that's changed, not him. We're not fighting about stupid things, or much of anything really, and the affection has really increased, and there's even a little more physical intimacy happening. I have shared everything with him on this journey, good and bad - if I posted it here, or thought about it, or dreamt it, he knows about it. I tell him about my issues that come up in counseling (the last appointment centered a lot on family history of abuse, things I really didn't consider as abuse growing up but - well, I'm dealing with that separately and while I'm sure it's related, it's not something I need to get into here).
I bought fresh clean notebooks and matching pens (red ink for the red notebook, etc., there are some things I just can't help about myself!) for journaling - general stuff, and workbook stuff from the Fattitudes book (which I think will be helpful), and also the counselor asked me to work on a timeline of my life, so I have a third notebook for that. Haven't started them yet but I bought them, so that's a step in the right direction.
I'm just more of a typer than a writer, 'cause it's faster, but I'm supposed to do it longhand because it slows down my thoughts and will help me think of things more in-depth. Like everything else, it's going to take making it a priority and making the time for self-discovery.
So, OK, two weeks of compliance. I no longer believe it will be easy, but I can do it. I have lots of help and support around me, and I need to use it and allow myself to lean on people instead of leaning on food. I'm thinking of putting my daughter's newborn pictures on the fridge. I'm trying to lose the weight primarily so I will be healthier by summer and able to try to get pregnant. I keep losing sight of that because it seems so far off. But if I don't start now, I either will have to wait even longer for my next baby, or suffer through another morbidly obese pregnancy. My goal chart puts me in onederland by mid-August, and that times out perfectly for conception. Any more will be a bonus, but I need to give myself permission to succeed and be happy.
Well, it's getting late. I want to be in bed by 9 and start my compliance with a good night's sleep, which is another thing I have to work on.
BTW, I'm going to be staying off the boards at work entirely - it may just be coincidental, but I was getting unmotivated and behind in my work around the time I started surfing on my breaks. I need to stay focused on my job when I'm there. So no checking in until after the baby is in bed each night. That means I may not be on as often - but I'll be sure to make up for it on the weekends.
I am psyched about starting tomorrow. I know I feel so much lighter and healthier when I'm on this plan - I can still vaguely remember that week of compliance last month and it felt good. I bought bouillion (sp?) cubes and sugarless gum for the possible cravings I might have. I just need to get through it, and I can, and I will.
It seems to be helping, being in love with my husband again. I don't know what's happened but he says it's me that's changed, not him. We're not fighting about stupid things, or much of anything really, and the affection has really increased, and there's even a little more physical intimacy happening. I have shared everything with him on this journey, good and bad - if I posted it here, or thought about it, or dreamt it, he knows about it. I tell him about my issues that come up in counseling (the last appointment centered a lot on family history of abuse, things I really didn't consider as abuse growing up but - well, I'm dealing with that separately and while I'm sure it's related, it's not something I need to get into here).
I bought fresh clean notebooks and matching pens (red ink for the red notebook, etc., there are some things I just can't help about myself!) for journaling - general stuff, and workbook stuff from the Fattitudes book (which I think will be helpful), and also the counselor asked me to work on a timeline of my life, so I have a third notebook for that. Haven't started them yet but I bought them, so that's a step in the right direction.
I'm just more of a typer than a writer, 'cause it's faster, but I'm supposed to do it longhand because it slows down my thoughts and will help me think of things more in-depth. Like everything else, it's going to take making it a priority and making the time for self-discovery.
So, OK, two weeks of compliance. I no longer believe it will be easy, but I can do it. I have lots of help and support around me, and I need to use it and allow myself to lean on people instead of leaning on food. I'm thinking of putting my daughter's newborn pictures on the fridge. I'm trying to lose the weight primarily so I will be healthier by summer and able to try to get pregnant. I keep losing sight of that because it seems so far off. But if I don't start now, I either will have to wait even longer for my next baby, or suffer through another morbidly obese pregnancy. My goal chart puts me in onederland by mid-August, and that times out perfectly for conception. Any more will be a bonus, but I need to give myself permission to succeed and be happy.
Well, it's getting late. I want to be in bed by 9 and start my compliance with a good night's sleep, which is another thing I have to work on.
BTW, I'm going to be staying off the boards at work entirely - it may just be coincidental, but I was getting unmotivated and behind in my work around the time I started surfing on my breaks. I need to stay focused on my job when I'm there. So no checking in until after the baby is in bed each night. That means I may not be on as often - but I'll be sure to make up for it on the weekends.
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nickieluv - Preferred Member - #10 Club
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by nickieluv » January 29th, 2007, 7:15 pm
I DID IT!!!!!!! 
And there were more temptations in the house than ever, so it just proves to me that I could have done this all along. Get this - there were Oreos just sitting on the counter, Combos and marshmallow fluff in the cupboards, ice cream and caramel sauce, AND I gave piano lessons today and have $20 cash sitting on the piano - my usual 'binge' fund. Plus I fed my daughter apple slices, cheese, spaghetti and meatballs and Nilla wafers throughout the afternoon/evening and not only did I not partake, she didn't even try to get me to eat any, and she's always a food-sharer. It's like she knew or something!
I thought I was going to starve to death at work today, but luckily that was at work where there's nothing to do about it. I came home and just had a supplement, gave lessons, basically went about my life and only ate what I was supposed to. After my L&G I was afraid I might want to keep chewing so I got a drink instead. And I have just finished my last supplement and will be headed to bed soon.
When putting my baby to sleep, instead of thinking about what I could order in once I got downstairs, I was thinking of which supplement I wanted to make, and ways that I could get some variety in at work, like freezing some pudding overnight and packing it so it'll thaw by lunchtime.
Beware of over-confidence, though. I know this was only day 1 and it will likely get worse before it gets better. But at the risk of scaring myself off - I'm not looking at 2 weeks of compliance. I'm looking at 6 months or more. Food is just not that important! My life is waiting!
Well, I wanted to go to bed even earlier than this (it's quarter after nine) in order to start journaling. I may try to just start an entry, try to get in the habit. I want to try to journal and pray every night before bed, and also pray in the morning before getting up. I've been a lip-service Christian for probably my whole adult life without actually basing my decisions on God. I treat Him like a handy friend to have when it's convenient. That's something I'd like to change about myself - but I have this idea that in order to do that, I have to turn into my grandmother or my mother as she used to be and that is a horribly scary thought.
OK, I'm off. Day 2 awaits!!
And there were more temptations in the house than ever, so it just proves to me that I could have done this all along. Get this - there were Oreos just sitting on the counter, Combos and marshmallow fluff in the cupboards, ice cream and caramel sauce, AND I gave piano lessons today and have $20 cash sitting on the piano - my usual 'binge' fund. Plus I fed my daughter apple slices, cheese, spaghetti and meatballs and Nilla wafers throughout the afternoon/evening and not only did I not partake, she didn't even try to get me to eat any, and she's always a food-sharer. It's like she knew or something!
I thought I was going to starve to death at work today, but luckily that was at work where there's nothing to do about it. I came home and just had a supplement, gave lessons, basically went about my life and only ate what I was supposed to. After my L&G I was afraid I might want to keep chewing so I got a drink instead. And I have just finished my last supplement and will be headed to bed soon.
When putting my baby to sleep, instead of thinking about what I could order in once I got downstairs, I was thinking of which supplement I wanted to make, and ways that I could get some variety in at work, like freezing some pudding overnight and packing it so it'll thaw by lunchtime.
Beware of over-confidence, though. I know this was only day 1 and it will likely get worse before it gets better. But at the risk of scaring myself off - I'm not looking at 2 weeks of compliance. I'm looking at 6 months or more. Food is just not that important! My life is waiting!
Well, I wanted to go to bed even earlier than this (it's quarter after nine) in order to start journaling. I may try to just start an entry, try to get in the habit. I want to try to journal and pray every night before bed, and also pray in the morning before getting up. I've been a lip-service Christian for probably my whole adult life without actually basing my decisions on God. I treat Him like a handy friend to have when it's convenient. That's something I'd like to change about myself - but I have this idea that in order to do that, I have to turn into my grandmother or my mother as she used to be and that is a horribly scary thought.
OK, I'm off. Day 2 awaits!!
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nickieluv - Preferred Member - #10 Club
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by Karli » January 29th, 2007, 8:21 pm
hee hee... Nickie. You are great . You know, I feel often like I very much relate with what you are saying, and I had to laugh a bit when you were talking about turning into your mother or grandmother if you rely on God more. I know what you mean ! Not that I don't love them, but you know 
.
Anyway, congrats on your day.
Karli
. You know, I feel often like I very much relate with what you are saying, and I had to laugh a bit when you were talking about turning into your mother or grandmother if you rely on God more. I know what you mean ! Not that I don't love them, but you know .
Anyway, congrats on your day.
Karli
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by DogMa » January 30th, 2007, 8:32 am
Good job, Nickie!!! And just think, a couple more days like this and you won't be starving at work anymore. Keep it up!!
Robin
203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
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DogMa - Preferred Member - 70# Club
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by Sojourner » January 30th, 2007, 6:05 pm
WooHoo!!!
We all knew that, but it's great that now you know it too! See what you can do when you make up your mind to do it??
The great thing is that it truly gets easier with each day. F'realz.
Weigh to go, girlie!!
nickieluv wrote:...I could have done this all along.
We all knew that, but it's great that now you know it too! See what you can do when you make up your mind to do it??
The great thing is that it truly gets easier with each day. F'realz.
Weigh to go, girlie!!
~*~*~*Sojourner*~*~*~
Shake it gone, babeee!!!
Shake it gone, babeee!!!
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by nickieluv » January 30th, 2007, 6:12 pm
First - I did it AGAIN! (almost - one more supp to get in after I'm done on here)
Second - I'm feeling badly because I'm not feeling like I have anything much to add on the other threads lately. Hopefully that will change because I don't like feeling like I'm just taking up space.
Third - welcome back Karli! Glad to know I'm not the only one with crazy women in my family....
Today I was a little hungry at work but I kept busy. At home I almost set myself up for failure - I got very angry when I saw the state of my house when I got home, and my daughter was no where to be found and there was no note/voicemail or anything. I knew she was safe - but now thinking back, how did I know that? The door was unlocked and the screen door wasn't shut all the way, the house was a mess, and my daughter was missing. If I was inclined to think so, I could have gone off the deep end considering the possibilities. She was of course fine and my sister brought her back home at quarter to five - but in the meantime I cleaned the house and sputtered the whole time, and called my husband to ream him out because at the time I didn't know the whole deal was my sister's fault. Then I taught two hours of piano lessons and by the end I was starving - but I stressed myself out even more by making myself clean more instead of just sitting and eating. I fed my daughter and then cleaned up all the dishes while defrosting my shrimp and cooking my vegetables - which I ate, no cheats - but afterwards I really wanted to just grab the Oreos. So now I know that anger and stress make me want to eat. Great. Instead, I took the baby upstairs for a bath and bedtime, and now I'm typing here until my next supplement (very soon) and then I'll head up to bed to journal there and get to bed early again. I still am not feeling rested even though I've been pretty good about sleep so far this week.
Tomorrow I'm being observed at work, and my studio is having their first recital in the evening - I finally have enough students this year to have a recital! I'm looking forward to that - but not the observation - and my schedule is going to be kind of wonky so I'm trying to think how I can fit all my supps in. And I just remembered I have to get up early tomorrow because I HAVE to be on time for work - there's a faculty meeting. The schedule is usually pretty relaxed and I can be there pretty much any time before 8:45 - but when there are meetings I'm stuck getting there on time.
All the more reason to beat it right now, eat up, and head to bed.
As an aside - I surfed at work today - just reading, no posting - and I forgot to finish my recital programs. Proof positive it's not good for me to be online at work! I was trying to wean myself away but now it's official.
Second - I'm feeling badly because I'm not feeling like I have anything much to add on the other threads lately. Hopefully that will change because I don't like feeling like I'm just taking up space.
Third - welcome back Karli! Glad to know I'm not the only one with crazy women in my family....
Today I was a little hungry at work but I kept busy. At home I almost set myself up for failure - I got very angry when I saw the state of my house when I got home, and my daughter was no where to be found and there was no note/voicemail or anything. I knew she was safe - but now thinking back, how did I know that? The door was unlocked and the screen door wasn't shut all the way, the house was a mess, and my daughter was missing. If I was inclined to think so, I could have gone off the deep end considering the possibilities. She was of course fine and my sister brought her back home at quarter to five - but in the meantime I cleaned the house and sputtered the whole time, and called my husband to ream him out because at the time I didn't know the whole deal was my sister's fault. Then I taught two hours of piano lessons and by the end I was starving - but I stressed myself out even more by making myself clean more instead of just sitting and eating. I fed my daughter and then cleaned up all the dishes while defrosting my shrimp and cooking my vegetables - which I ate, no cheats - but afterwards I really wanted to just grab the Oreos. So now I know that anger and stress make me want to eat. Great. Instead, I took the baby upstairs for a bath and bedtime, and now I'm typing here until my next supplement (very soon) and then I'll head up to bed to journal there and get to bed early again. I still am not feeling rested even though I've been pretty good about sleep so far this week.
Tomorrow I'm being observed at work, and my studio is having their first recital in the evening - I finally have enough students this year to have a recital! I'm looking forward to that - but not the observation - and my schedule is going to be kind of wonky so I'm trying to think how I can fit all my supps in. And I just remembered I have to get up early tomorrow because I HAVE to be on time for work - there's a faculty meeting. The schedule is usually pretty relaxed and I can be there pretty much any time before 8:45 - but when there are meetings I'm stuck getting there on time.
All the more reason to beat it right now, eat up, and head to bed.
As an aside - I surfed at work today - just reading, no posting - and I forgot to finish my recital programs. Proof positive it's not good for me to be online at work! I was trying to wean myself away but now it's official.
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nickieluv - Preferred Member - #10 Club
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by Sojourner » January 30th, 2007, 6:24 pm
nickieluv wrote:I did it AGAIN!
<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_2_48.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D36%252F36_2_48/image.gif">
~*~*~*Sojourner*~*~*~
Shake it gone, babeee!!!
Shake it gone, babeee!!!
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by bikipatra » January 31st, 2007, 12:42 am
I am proud of you Nickie. You give us all enough inspiration just by your determination. Please don't feel like you must drop nuggets of wisdom in every thread in order to be of service here! We know you are busy and we want what's best for you even if that means no goofing around on the computer at work. Although I would quit a job that didn't let me surf a little... 
Why don't you just quit your job and the both of us can just sit on this board all day and let everyone know what we think? See what a silly idea that is! Now get back to work!
Why don't you just quit your job and the both of us can just sit on this board all day and let everyone know what we think? See what a silly idea that is! Now get back to work!Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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by DogMa » January 31st, 2007, 9:18 am
Yeah, don't worry about contributing. You contribute just by being here. And we all kind of ebb and flow in our postings; I know I do.
But congrats on another day! And on figuring out one of your emotional triggers. Next step: Find a new way of dealing with those emotions. Try whatever you think will work. Heck, get a little punching bag or something if you need to.
But congrats on another day! And on figuring out one of your emotional triggers. Next step: Find a new way of dealing with those emotions. Try whatever you think will work. Heck, get a little punching bag or something if you need to.
Robin
203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
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DogMa - Preferred Member - 70# Club
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by nickieluv » January 31st, 2007, 2:34 pm
Well, it's early for me to be posting today but I don't know that I'll be online later at all. I am going to go ahead and say I did it again - again - though, because I know I'm not going to have any trouble tonight.
I had my L&G for lunch, and I'm taking an RTD to the recital to have while everyone else is munching at the reception. Then after the baby is asleep, a nice hot cocoa to end the day.
I am feeling like I did the first (well, actually second) time I started this diet - like there's nothing that could get me off track. And I don't know why I had that huge downward spiral. The voices in my head started up again this morning, though. I weighed in and told myself before the number came up 'don't worry what it says, just keep doing the right things, that's what's important.' Well, the number that came up was one I haven't seen in a long time, since before I was pregnant, and I was really excited. So then in the shower I'm thinking to myself 'that's the secret, be on plan for a week and then go really hog wild to shock your system.'
DON'T PANIC - I know the error of that kind of thinking. And it was more a fleeting thought than a real plan. I really, really hope that all those days and weeks off plan taught me something lasting. If I can just take it one day at a time - until I hit that first plateau, and then I'll probably need some shock therapy. I was very grateful for Jo's numbers, showing that plateaus are normal and will end if you stick it out for a week or two - I hope I can remember that when my dreaded time comes. But why am I worrying about that already? Stop doing that!!!
I feel great, today is day 3 and I've made it. I even had to go into the grocery store today to buy stuff for the recital, and I thought about how before I would have gotten that stuff PLUS some chips or cookies or something to snarf down lickety split once I got home. But it wasn't even an option today.
So, I'm thinking maybe I should copy some parts of my journal here and keep them on hand in my purse or something, so I can read my own words and keep myself on track - because I don't know if I'll be this strong every day. But I'm loving the feeling of control and strength! I can do it!
I had my L&G for lunch, and I'm taking an RTD to the recital to have while everyone else is munching at the reception. Then after the baby is asleep, a nice hot cocoa to end the day.
I am feeling like I did the first (well, actually second) time I started this diet - like there's nothing that could get me off track. And I don't know why I had that huge downward spiral. The voices in my head started up again this morning, though. I weighed in and told myself before the number came up 'don't worry what it says, just keep doing the right things, that's what's important.' Well, the number that came up was one I haven't seen in a long time, since before I was pregnant, and I was really excited. So then in the shower I'm thinking to myself 'that's the secret, be on plan for a week and then go really hog wild to shock your system.'
DON'T PANIC - I know the error of that kind of thinking. And it was more a fleeting thought than a real plan. I really, really hope that all those days and weeks off plan taught me something lasting. If I can just take it one day at a time - until I hit that first plateau, and then I'll probably need some shock therapy. I was very grateful for Jo's numbers, showing that plateaus are normal and will end if you stick it out for a week or two - I hope I can remember that when my dreaded time comes. But why am I worrying about that already? Stop doing that!!!
I feel great, today is day 3 and I've made it. I even had to go into the grocery store today to buy stuff for the recital, and I thought about how before I would have gotten that stuff PLUS some chips or cookies or something to snarf down lickety split once I got home. But it wasn't even an option today.
So, I'm thinking maybe I should copy some parts of my journal here and keep them on hand in my purse or something, so I can read my own words and keep myself on track - because I don't know if I'll be this strong every day. But I'm loving the feeling of control and strength! I can do it!
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nickieluv - Preferred Member - #10 Club
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by DonicaB » January 31st, 2007, 3:46 pm
Nickie~ I know I have posted to your journal before, but......I have definitely been reading and keeping up with you. Let me say.....I can see such a difference in your attitude. You have really made a turn around. I'm very proud of you. 
How did your observation go today? I'm a teacher also, so I understand how stressful those can be sometimes. I hope things went well.
Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great.
DonicaB
How did your observation go today? I'm a teacher also, so I understand how stressful those can be sometimes. I hope things went well.
Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great.
DonicaB
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by nickieluv » January 31st, 2007, 5:58 pm
Well, I'm back after all - I just can't stay away from you people!
Thank you all for the encouragement. I didn't mean to ignore that in my last post. And I know logically that I shouldn't try to be everything for everyone, and just give what I can - but I've been in a bit of a slump in terms of posting elsewhere. I just can't bring myself to be such a cheerleader as others are - although I am so grateful you are out there!!!!! It's not my personality, I guess, so I only post when I think I really have something to say. It's reassuring to know that ebb and flow of give and take is normal.
The recital went really well - I was so nervous for the kids!!! But they all were wonderful. I had one student who just blew his piece completely, but I was so proud of him especially because he found a way out of it, cadenced, and brought the whole thing to a good close. That's really an advanced performance skill, to be able to keep on truckin', in my opinion.
Thanks Donica for asking about the observation. I was nervous as heck about that, too - my principal had to observe me for an hour, and my classes are only 30 minutes long, so after the first one was over I couldn't even relax because she came back later for a second one! I didn't prep the teachers or kids that I was being observed, because I thought that would be cheating to say 'now be on your best behavior for the principal's visit.' I think the lessons were realistic and I'm sure I'll get good and much-needed feedback on things, especially my classroom management skills. After coming from middle school, where let's face it, kids can be downright nasty, I'm much too nice to these cute little kids and I don't get on their behavior right away. Although, my patience is starting to wear a little thin some days. But anyway, it's over, and tomorrow is my post-observation meeting where I'll find out what she really thinks of me! It's my first year in this building and I asked for the transfer, so I would feel just awful if I were messing everything up when she really had no choice but to hire me. Anyway, I was really glad I had my L&G for lunch because after that, I needed some fuel!
Well, I have a question in my head so I'm going off to another thread to post it. Then I'll have my last supp and head to bed I think. Or I may try staying up a little later and watching something on Tivo. I realized tonight that I haven't watched TV since Sunday - not that that's awful or anything, just unusual for me. Hmmm - no TV, no cheating - should I press my luck?
*update* I wound up re-reading everything in my journal since the end of December. It took FOREVER, but it was educational. I had some moments of real lucidity there, but I kept giving in. I have to go slowly. Not think too much. Just keep being compliant and take one day, one meal, one special situation at a time. Tonight at the recital could have been a time to fail - but I just had my RTD and not one person asked what it was. Although I let my 18-month-old have a drink of it - hopefully that's OK for her. Anywho, it is now officially late in my world and I'm off to sleepy-land.
Thank you all for the encouragement. I didn't mean to ignore that in my last post. And I know logically that I shouldn't try to be everything for everyone, and just give what I can - but I've been in a bit of a slump in terms of posting elsewhere. I just can't bring myself to be such a cheerleader as others are - although I am so grateful you are out there!!!!! It's not my personality, I guess, so I only post when I think I really have something to say. It's reassuring to know that ebb and flow of give and take is normal.
The recital went really well - I was so nervous for the kids!!! But they all were wonderful. I had one student who just blew his piece completely, but I was so proud of him especially because he found a way out of it, cadenced, and brought the whole thing to a good close. That's really an advanced performance skill, to be able to keep on truckin', in my opinion.
Thanks Donica for asking about the observation. I was nervous as heck about that, too - my principal had to observe me for an hour, and my classes are only 30 minutes long, so after the first one was over I couldn't even relax because she came back later for a second one! I didn't prep the teachers or kids that I was being observed, because I thought that would be cheating to say 'now be on your best behavior for the principal's visit.' I think the lessons were realistic and I'm sure I'll get good and much-needed feedback on things, especially my classroom management skills. After coming from middle school, where let's face it, kids can be downright nasty, I'm much too nice to these cute little kids and I don't get on their behavior right away. Although, my patience is starting to wear a little thin some days. But anyway, it's over, and tomorrow is my post-observation meeting where I'll find out what she really thinks of me! It's my first year in this building and I asked for the transfer, so I would feel just awful if I were messing everything up when she really had no choice but to hire me. Anyway, I was really glad I had my L&G for lunch because after that, I needed some fuel!
Well, I have a question in my head so I'm going off to another thread to post it. Then I'll have my last supp and head to bed I think. Or I may try staying up a little later and watching something on Tivo. I realized tonight that I haven't watched TV since Sunday - not that that's awful or anything, just unusual for me. Hmmm - no TV, no cheating - should I press my luck?
*update* I wound up re-reading everything in my journal since the end of December. It took FOREVER, but it was educational. I had some moments of real lucidity there, but I kept giving in. I have to go slowly. Not think too much. Just keep being compliant and take one day, one meal, one special situation at a time. Tonight at the recital could have been a time to fail - but I just had my RTD and not one person asked what it was. Although I let my 18-month-old have a drink of it - hopefully that's OK for her. Anywho, it is now officially late in my world and I'm off to sleepy-land.
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nickieluv - Preferred Member - #10 Club
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