The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

OK, so it probably is a little crazy. But it felt good to type it. I mean, really, do I believe in a God who takes away? No. But when you feel deep down that you are a horrible person who does not deserve nice things, it's easy to imagine that you'll be 'found out' and the nice things will be taken away. Like I could fool God for a second. He's blessed my life for a reason and it's not my place to wonder why. He sent me MF and the means to do it. So it's time to just do it.

[nickieluv]

So I'm creating my own personal challenge. It's not about compliance or anything like that directly - that's too much pressure for me and I always blow those kinds of challenges after a few days.

My challenge to myself is:

I will not order any food from any restaurant unless we are going out and I am getting a L&G. No more take out orders in the middle of the afternoon. EVER as long as I am on the plan.

(I was going to say spend no money, but I don't think I can do that one.)

Since I don't buy a lot of food for the house that can get me into trouble, the take out is my downfall. It is too easy. For every day that I don't order takeout, I will put one dollar in an imaginary account for myself (I wish I had Monopoly money I could use, that would be fun and tactile) and for every day that I do order take out, I have to remove from the imaginary account the amount that the food cost. Then however much I have in this account, I can use for souvenirs at Disney when we go.

How fun could this be? I could do a dollar for every day I go to bed before 10. A dollar for every day I exercise (that should be worth a hundred bucks a day, though!). I go so overboard with everything. I probably won't even follow through on this one. But it's out there, and maybe it will at least give me one more layer to get through mentally before I place that order. And maybe some one else will like the idea.

The original challenge stands, even though I probably won't follow through on the reward part of it. It just sounded like a fun idea. I'm an elementary teacher, can you tell, with all these incentive plans I'm always coming up with?

[DogMa]

What about every time you want to order takeout and don't, you write down the amount you would have spent? I bet once you add it all up and see how much you saved, you'd find a bunch of money you can spend at Disney instead. Or on a weight-loss reward.

[nickieluv]

The rate I'm going, that could be over $100 a week!

The ironic part is, no matter how much 'money' I earned, I wouldn't take it. We have a trip budget and I'm determined to get no souvenirs except one for my daughter. When I plan to spend money, I can't. When I'm just impulse buying, somehow the money is always there - or I can justify that it's not such a bad purchase. There's probably some deep psychological issue there. But I'm not going to ferret it out just yet - I need to get busy losing.

I am both happy and sad to see so many in the same boat I am in. What is going on, that so many of us keep restarting and can't get into the groove? Is there something in the air? Is it just the 'holiday spirit' of indulgence that lasts from October to January? I remember Jo saying there would always be some holiday or special occasion - she's right. My husband 'took a break' from his diet last October, just for 'the holidays,' and has gained all his weight back and has yet to get back on any sort of plan.

I wish I knew some magic way that we could support each other. We only seem to end up making things worse for each other, because I feel like he's judging me and he feels like he's disappointing me.

There just is no magic, is there? Unless you say the human spirit is magic, because that's all we need. The will do it, the drive to get there. The self-control to act like a mature adult who can delay gratification. There you go - this is all my parents' fault for getting me every single thing I ever put on a Christmas list, year after year. No delayed gratification was taught in my house. Dad had every new electronic 'toy' the second it came out, no matter the price.

Although my husband had the opposite kind of childhood, hardly ever having anything, and he's just as bad as I am because he feels like he missed out as a kid. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Well, you know how I like to go on and on about nothing.

Time to head to bed - it's not before ten, but it is before 11 and that's a step in the right direction. I have all my shakes mixed up for tomorrow and ready to go - and plenty of other packets waiting in the wings if I get hungry. I am giving myself permission to have an extra shake if I feel like I'm going to lose control. I even have a few boxes of my favorite, swiss mocha. And I got some oatmeal from the SIL in case I need to chew but have already had my bar.

It's all about setting yourself up for success. I know what to do - I've even done it successfully before - there is theoretically no reason why I can't do it again. And that goes for all of us trying so hard to get back in the MediGroove - let's get moving and shaking and stop with the excuses!!

[Lauren]

Nickie, Dogma is totally correct (not that there was any doubt!) that you should absolutely have an additional shake/oatmeal/pudding if you are needing it - whether the need is in your head or your belly, if having that extra meal will help keep you on track, it will be the best 100 extra calories you've ever had!

Heck, even if you had FIVE extra MF meals, you would STILL probably be taking in way fewer calories than you would by going off plan or having a binge. Think of MF meals as your lifeline for now. You need extra, have extra. Pretty soon you won't need extra. And you'll also have ceased to introduce other flavors into your life that keep you wanting. See, I think that's part of the problem, beside carb overload that leads to craving. Every time you go "off," you remind yourself what these other foods taste like, never allowing yourself to fully be immersed in the MF world. That seems silly, but I promise that you often stop missing those foods when you haven't tasted them in a while, I swear, I did!

So, geez, cut yourself a break, Nickie. Just chill. I've said this a million times to you, and I don't care if it sounds harsh, but you really have to just stop with all the "plans" and races and competitions with yourself or your stickies or all your other hooplah that you think is helping, but I think is just distracting you from the ease of the program. You have two young children AND you work besides that, let all of that be where your focus lives, and let the food just be easy! This IS the easy part. Make an oatmeal, eat the oatmeal, go on with your life. Don't make this such an event. Just Do It.

Just my opinion, of course! :-)

Lauren

[katieb920]

Lauren is our Gillian of the Biggest Loser..... I love what you wrote. I am the say way I just want to make excuses.. And say Just do it after the holidays. But I can not anymore.
Nickie You and I will get through this..

Thanks so much Robin and Lauren for the continued support

[Lauren]

Ha! Thanks, Katie, I'll take it as a compliment - even though she is a sadistic freak! :-) But, yeah, I can be a b*ll-buster when necessary. And it felt necessary!

Oh, and Katie, you can totally rock this out, no B.S., just stop overthinking the whole thing and Do It!

Cheers!

Lauren

[SuzyQ66]

I so agree with Lauren. You guys just need to do it. That first week of my restart was terrible...but I know I needed to go through that week and stick to my guns...stick to the program. That first week has made me realize that I don't want to go back there....so I am sticking to the program at whatever cost. I have been trying to get back on Medifast for forever....I tried in January..failed...tried again in February...failed..tried again in March...failed..even again in April..failed. Finally in May, I gave up and traded all my MF supplements for a massage (which was great by the way). I was totally going to give up MF for life. I just couldn't do it. Well guess what. I ordered again in September. Tried it in September...failed....BUT...have been going strong since October 20th. If I went through all that...and have been successful for two weeks...I am not by any means claiming I am a pro...but if I have stuck to for over 2 weeks...you guys can do it. It does get easier...I promise. I am finally back to feeling comfortable on the program...no more cravings...they went away. You too could be a week or two out from misery if you just DO IT!!!! Oh and by the way...I am down 12 pounds!! Good incentive.

[nickieluv]

Thank you everybody for the support and the good (and blunt!) advice.

I have bad momentum going right now, and it's going to be very hard to turn this almost-250-pound tub around and get it going in the RIGHT direction. But it does build strength as you go - I should know that by now. And I do know that, but my stupid brain gets in the way (of course).

I think I like the distractions to some extent. They give me something to blame besides me if something goes wrong. Of course it all comes back to me in the end. And nothing needs to go wrong, I just keep letting it happen.

That's wrong, actually. I'm not letting it happen. I'm making it happen. It's not like someone else is putting the food in my mouth and forcing me to chew and I'm not fighting back.

So I'm not going to say anything more. No more calendars, countdowns, challenges, charts, or any other 'c' words I use to distract myself from the goal. I'm just going to eat MF and let the magic happen.

[nickieluv]

I do solemnly swear that I will not play head games with myself. I will keep my journal posts short, sweet, and factual, and I will not worry myself with fol-de-rol. MF is easy. MF is easy. MF is easy.

[DogMa]

Hey, post all you want. But with the plan, just DO it. How 'bout posting about something else? How are the kiddies doing? What's the weather like where you are?

[katieb920]

Lets do it girl. I swear by bubble yum...

[SuzyQ66]

How are things going today Nickie???

[nickieluv]

I've been here every day reading, but I didn't post because I was choosing to be off plan until today. I know I could have just said that, but I didn't want to admit it publicly.

Today is my last day 1. That doesn't mean I might not have an 'oops' here and there, but I am not going to intentionally take big giant breaks anymore. Somehow I managed to still lose a pound this week but I'm pretty sure it's dehydration from all the sugar and carbs rather than anything real. I doubt I'll see a big loss this week, since I've probably already experienced the water weight loss - but that doesn't matter. It's just about the numbers going in the right direction, not how far they move.

And more importantly, it's about my mind going in the right direction. So I have embraced the thought of having extra supplements if needed, if it's either that or eat my arm or something. As Lauren said, I need to forget those tastes of off-plan foods or they will keep nagging at me.

So here I am, back and ready to go. Having a shake, taking my bar to church so I can eat every two hours (that's my plan, even if it means extra supplements, for the first week), and it's time to get moving, too - so I have hubby's support and he will watch the kids every evening for a bit so I can exercise and shower. Starting today, although he doesn't know that yet.

Have a great Sunday everyone!

[nickieluv]

Wow this is hard. I am already chomping at the bit for my L&G tonight.

It is taking a lot for me to stay on plan right now. I know from experience that it gets easier, but man, it's hard to remember that right at the moment. I am trying to be strong and not have extra supplements, but I am not going to stop myself if I feel like I need one or two to get me through a bad time today.

It's not even like I'm wanting any particular food. I just want to eat and eat and eat. So it's got to be emotional. I'm having some frustrations raising a preschooler lately, I suppose that could be it. I'm still prone to wanting to drown in food. I got a good night's rest last night, and I'm sure that's a good start to keeping my energy level up and my frustration level down. I bet the exercise will help, too - waiting until later today for that, as we are having guests in the early afternoon. I'll hit the treadmill after they leave.

I have to be strong today. In the past week I've told myself that I was going off plan beause I really wanted some food or other. Today I see it for what it is - it doesn't matter what I eat, I'm using it to cope with something instead of using it to fuel my body.

Do I want those other foods? Hell yes I do. But I need to want health more. I might need to come to terms with not eating those foods ever again, because I can see myself losing all this weight and then gaining it right back again if I believe that things can go back to 'normal' once I'm thin. The way I'm used to eating is not normal, it's just what I'm used to.

So, I'm here, typing away, trying not to think about being hungry. I know I won't go off plan today but it is going to be a very hard week. I can't wait for that good feeling of ketosis and having the physical hunger stop. That doesn't help the mental hunger, but it's a start.