The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Well I haven't eaten a thing yet today so I might as well be on plan. There's a lot of stress happening around here but that's no excuse for eating poorly. I can be stressed and at least take control of one thing, after all. Then I'll be stressed, but thinner. Ha ha.

Layoffs loom at my husband's company. He's got a lot of seniority so he probably wouldn't be fired, but he might have to take a different job in the plant and take a pay cut. We're not sure how big. So my awesome maternity leave may have to be cut short. It breaks my heart to think of sending my baby to daycare. My mom is retired but I can't ask her to watch two kids full time, she has her own life to live, and even with me being home I feel like I've taken advantage of her willingness to help.

I'm trying to think of any other way to avoid going back to work full time. I love my job but I'm not ready to leave my daughters. No decision has to be made until after Christmas, so I should just relax and enjoy the time I have. But it's hard to do that when such awful things are on the horizon. We are lucky to have options, lucky that I have a job to go back to - I should be grateful for that instead of mad that I'm in this position in the first place. But I am mad. So there. Robin says even if my feelings seem wrong or selfish, they are still real, so I'm acknowledging my feelings. I'm scared and mad and tired of worrying all the time.

The Disney vacation seems like a ridiculous luxury to still try to make happen, given this news. But my husband doesn't want to cancel yet again (we canceled last year because I was too pregnant to go that far) and disappoint my stepson again. It's just that, with everything, it's like $3300 dollars and how silly is that to contemplate, now that we're going to have a drop in income?

I'm getting ahead of myself, as usual. Nothing has been said or happened yet. Maybe it will all work out. I'm just scared. Oh, yeah, I said that already.

God will provide. God will provide. He's already sent more lesson students my way, potentially. Perhaps more still will come forward. We're going to have a yard sale in the fall and that won't be much, but maybe we can get one or two hundred dollars from it. I've got an accompanying job all set up for December, maybe I can get more of those at area schools. I have fliers all set to send out, I just have to get them packaged and take them to school for mailing. I am usually very optimistic about these things and I have to have faith.

So anyway, after all that - it seems like this place is dying, too, from the posts I'm reading lately. No offense to those that are here - it's just not what it was last time I was on MF. But someone said it ebbs and flows here, so maybe it will pick up again soon.

As for me - I'm off to have a supplement. Might as well. It's really a waste of money to have all this MF sitting in the cupboard while I spend money we don't have on other food. So for the moment, it makes more economic sense for me to be on plan. After I run out, then we'll have to reevaluate. Crap.

Sorry to be such a downer today.

[DogMa]

I hope things work out for your hubby. I'm certainly no stranger to layoffs and buyouts, in MY former business.

As for the ebbs and flows here, that's true. But I've been here for years now and never seen it ebb like this. I know Jo used to say how dead it was when she started, but I was here before her and I never saw it get all that quiet.

[nickieluv]

What was I just saying?

What was I JUST saying this afternoon?

God has provided.

Hubby talked to the boss and nothing is going to change before the first of the year. So we are OK at least until then.

THEN I got a phone call and bam! I've a got a new piano student.

This is I why I say I need to have faith. But I am still always amazed at how things work out. And I certainly didn't expect it to start happening so immediately!! If I weren't religious already, this would make me so. Crazy.

Back to the board topic - I read someone saying all the action was over at another forum. But I don't want to leave here and start all over somewhere else. I would miss this place, quiet though it may be. Maybe this other place has usurped us in terms of getting new people. Maybe everyone is off reading political editorials on Yahoo. Who knows?

[katesmom]

Hi Nickie !
The action CAN be right here !

let's all hang in there and get this board moving again !

I will not give up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DogMa]

So glad to hear things are looking up already, Nicks! You really DO need to stop looking quite so far ahead, you know? Sometimes we just need to focus on today. Or even just right now.

Anyway, hope you have a good day (Medifast-wise and otherwise) today. I'll be back on if/when the nausea subsides.

[nickieluv]

I've said just about everything today in other posts - not much left to relate here but I thought I should stop by my own journal at least for a minute.

If I really wanted to be thin, I would be. I am getting in my own way and there is something I'm afraid of. I've explored this before, and I feel the only cure for that fear is to lose the weight and find out that I've got nothing to be afraid of. Or, lose the weight, figure out what the fear was, and deal with it.

Baby 3 is a real possibility. I cannot get pregnant at this weight. I mean, I can, but it's not best for me or the baby. We are tabling the discussion until the end of February. That's five months that, if I get cracking, I can use to get out of the 200s at least. If I stayed on-plan the whole time, who knows? It's such a short amount of time to 'sacrifice' and be on a diet, in the scheme of things. And the benefits have got to be way better than sitting here where I am.

More pragmatically - I have nothing to wear. Almost literally nothing. PJs are my friend because of the elastic. No money to buy new clothes, so if I want to be able to leave the house I have to fit back into all the stuff I bought when I was in the 190s.

Tomorrow I will be on plan. Just tomorrow. One day at a time. One meal at a time. I will not order any junk food. I will not sneak bits of my daughter's food. I will drink tons of water to help myself feel full, even if it means getting tons of exercise going up and down stairs getting to the restroom. If I am feeling like I'm going to eat something I'll regret, I will distract myself by playing with my daughters or coming here if the kids are sleeping or taking a nap myself if they are asleep. And I will stop staying up so late!!!! Being exhausted is not helping matters of willpower and sanity.

Off to bed.

[nickieluv]

So it's getting pretty scary over here. Weight-wise. I am above my current ticker weight, which is already above my starting weight - jeez!

I haven't had my first shake yet but I'm on my way to make it. No more fooling around. I ordered 6 blender bottles off eBay two nights ago so I can premix my shakes the night before and leave them in the fridge ready to grab-n-go. That worked for me with the RTDs so I'm just going to have to make my own. Trying to set myself up for success!

[DogMa]

Sounds good, Nickie. Here's to a successful morning (I'm not even gonna say "day" yet)!

[nickieluv]

The morning was a success. I feel like I've turned a corner, perhaps, and gotten back into that frame of mind that served me so well in August. I have caught myself thinking too far ahead already this morning, so I'm trying to shut up my brain when it does that. Stop the calculations, what can I 'get away with,' how much can I lose in 'x' amount of days, all that garbage just gets in my way. I'm just going to eat the meals. Have a L&G if I want it. Not feel guilty if all I want is another supplement instead. Get back to doing the things that worked for me in the past.

I guess it might help if I don't think of this as a diet, but more as basic training. I can see that in maintenance, eating 6 small meals a day would be a good thing. So maybe I can just look at it as getting myself into healthy habits, and if I lose some weight as a result, that would be great.

Waiting for the baby to fall asleep again - if she will - and then I'll do some walking on the treadmill. Turned out it wasn't as loud as I was afraid it would be, and she's a pretty sound sleeper anyway. So, goals today - stay on plan, and walk. And don't think beyond that.

[DogMa]

Good job! Now, here's to a successful afternoon!!

[nickieluv]

I need to eat again but I did get on the treadmill. I only did 17 minutes because I reached my arm up to wipe my hand off on my shirt (they get all sweaty because my balance is terrible so I have to hold on) and I accidentally hit the string that moves the magnet that shuts off the machine so you don't fall off and kill yourself. But it was OK, because I was dying. I did a program and it was probably a bit above me - I had to jog for one minute intervals. I was all wobbly when I got off, downed a liter of water in about 30 seconds, and still can't quite walk straight. But it felt good to be moving!

So my first exercise goal will be to make it through that program. We'll see how long it takes!

Off to have a shake.

[DogMa]

LOL. I've done that. I finally cut the stupid string because I did it so often. I still hit the "stop" button by accident sometimes. Argh.

I REALLY wouldn't try to do too much at first, because it can be very discouraging and you can get burned out quickly. Anything that makes you break a sweat, even if it's walking, is fine.

[Jimmy]

I just love hearing success stories.

[katesmom]

Hi Nickie !
Glad to hear all of those positive thoughts from you ! I am working my way back too, and really look forward to being in the"zone" again !

Have a great weekend !

[nickieluv]

I have been having so much difficulty lately, and there are some up-in-the-air issues about my life right now, so I have decided to take a week and try a different weight-loss plan.

I am craving so many sweets that I am going to try a plan that lets me have a little of what I crave in moderation each day.

We are seriously considering just letting nature take its course in the baby #3 department, and I don't feel comfortable being on MF and trying to get pregnant. I know it's pretty silly, and I'm not even trying as of yet, but with all my cheating issues I just want to try this new thing and see if it works for me. Because as great as MF is, and as much success as I've had with it in the past, if I can't follow the plan it won't work.

This new plan is more like 1500 calories and that's pretty much a maintenance calorie level for the weight I want to be, so it seems like a safe amount of food. I'm starting tomorrow and like I said, giving it a week. I'll still check in here though to see how everyone is doing, probably daily as usual.