The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

OK, I decided, I'm starting right this second. I will space my meals out every 2-3 hours until I go to bed, and I'll even have a L&G today although the temptation is to have all packets since I'm starting halfway through the day. But I've only had a bowl of cereal and a few Doritos so far (hard to make time to eat with the baby - news flash, though, she's taken TWO naps today in her pack-n-play without me holding her!!!!! That's why I've been able to be on here twice. Both girls are napping now, so I really should be, too, but once again I'm addicted to this place....).

Anyway - made my ticker and my obsessive-compulsive graphs and charts are all ready to go on my home computer. This makes Tuesday my weigh-in day - odd, I guess, but good for me - I'll have to be 'good' on the weekends or I'll ruin my weigh-in. I'm not sure that 130 is my goal - I'll have to see as I get into the 140s how I'm feeling and looking - but I know I won't go lower than 130. It would be nice to say I have less than 100 pounds to lose - and maybe I do - but hey, perhaps by next week it will be less than 100 even with such a low goal. Off to have a bar - playing it safe, choco mint is a good thing for me to start with and remember that I used to actually LIKE all this stuff....

Oh, and I guess I should go back to the 20# club since I gained so much back with the pregnancy.... Hopefully I'll be back at 60# gone before too too long. Maybe baby weight will come off faster than ice cream weight?

[rodeomom]

Congrats on the new little one!! Babies are such a blessing, even when they make life difficult.

Good job making the decision to get back on plan right now!!! I wish I had such determination!

[DogMa]

Oh, geez, Nicks, I'm sorry. I'm glad it didn't make you cry, though.

[nickieluv]

Don't fret, Robin, if it had made me cry it would have been the fault of raging post-partum hormones, not you. It actually helped me realize that I'm making too big a deal of this - laughing about it made me feel normal.

Thanks for the kudos on the determination, RodeoMom - unfortunately I didn't actually have that determination after all. I read up on the 100-day challenge thread from back in May and saw you were a big part of that, and I'm going to be doing my own private challenge when I start tomorrow. Yep, tomorrow. I spent another hour on the computer after I wrote that I was getting that bar, and then the girls both woke up from their naps at almost the same time, and I haven't actually eaten anything since about 11 this morning. Getting into my old bad habits - don't eat all day, then binge all night. I think I'll be able to do it tomorrow, though - the hard part seems to be remembering to eat, but the baby is now on her THIRD nap sleeping in the pack-n-play so maybe I've discovered the secret there, and will be able to get things done around the house including feeding myself properly. Thursday may be a tough day as we have a doctor's appointment so we'll be out of the house for several hours (visiting cousins beforehand as well) but if I save my bar for that time frame and then mix a shake just before leaving I should be OK.

My 100 days will take me to November 7th. That doesn't seem so far away, actually. If I can do this in 100-day chunks (I have a checklist to keep me going - LOVE lists!!) I bet it would go really quickly. I just have to remember - no going off, for any reason. It was never worth it and usually put me at least a month behind between the inevitable gain and then the struggles to get on plan again. No major holidays to rationalize indulgences in this 100 days so here's to success!

Seriously, I'm starting tomorrow. I can taste the oatmeal already....

[nickieluv]

Maybe it's just because it's the middle of the week - or because the baby had me up late and then up early this morning - but things seem quieter around here than they used to be.

I've really started - have my oatmeal sitting in the microwave and my first glass of water next to me at the computer. I was actually hungry for the oatmeal this morning - I suppose once I taste it that might change, but I remember liking it pretty well the last time. Have to get some SF pancake syrup for my maple and brown sugar, that was my favorite breakfast once upon a time.

There's NOTHING to eat in this house and I've been scrounging for food the last week almost, so that's a good thing - no tasty snacks to derail me. And I'm sure my daughter's habits will improve by default - although I've always limited her sweets and snacks anyway, even when I'd eat a whole box of something. In fact, she didn't gain a pound in the last year, and the doctor had me put her on PediaSure and go back up to 2% milk. So, I think I'm trying to keep her healthy and not put her on the road to obesity, and the doctor puts her on a high-calorie supplement! I can't win. What do these doctors want? She hasn't been sick once in the whole year, she's active and lively, she's developing ahead of schedule with motor skills and verbal ability so obviously her brain is not suffering from lack of nutrients - whatever. My girls just don't like to gain weight - wish I had that problem!!

OK, by now my oatmeal is probably cool and mushy - serves me right. Here's to a great first day - and this time I'm going to try to nap when the baby does instead of coming online all day long, so we'll see if I succeed or if I'm back on here by lunch.

[nickieluv]

The oatmeal was not cold and mushy - it was hard and warm. I don't know if I didn't use enough water or if I let it sit too long after cooking, but it was a circular pancake of oatmeal that you could have eaten with a knife and fork. Still not awful, though, the little peach bits saved it from being a total disaster.

I am hungry and fantasizing about cinnamon rolls. I'm reading the MF book and it talks about how baked goods are so bad for you because of the high fructose corn syrup so of course all I want is baked goods. I'm thinking I will have to pull out a bar at 10 instead of waiting till later - take nice little bites and chew slowly to make it last. I'm hoping for a nap this afternoon if the baby cooperates (the toddler is very cooperative about napping every day at the same time - can't wait till they're both on the same afternoon schedule - although by then with my luck, the toddler will decide she doesn't need naps anymore) so if I'm sleeping I can't be wanting to eat, which should make the afternoon easier. I am having the old evil thoughts that I can 'tweak' the plan and still see good losses - but in a way I'm thankful for all the tweaking I did before because now I know it doesn't work. Keep it simple, that's the best way - supplements when you're supposed to and the appropriate L&G. Got the food scale out and dusted off for measuring the protein portion - trying to find in the book if it's cooked weight or raw weight you go by. And I've already had a liter of water today (my goal is 3 a day of pure water, then whatever non-caloric beverages I still have room for) and it's like being pregnant again with the amount I'm running to the bathroom! I just try to think "peeing off the fat" whenever I'm headed upstairs.

I'm going to try only weighing in once a week - might be easier with me not working because I HAVE to weigh in my birthday suit and that only happens when I shower - with a newborn I can probably manage to schedule in one shower a week at least. In the morning, anyway, and of course you HAVE to weigh in the morning. I am excited because it's my week 1 again and I'm hoping to see a nice initial drop. On the plus side, I'm thinking that about the time a plateau might hit, baby will start sleeping through the night (around 3-4 months if I'm lucky) and when I get more sleep, I lose more weight. Don't know why - I'm sure there's been research about that I could Google but I'm trying NOT to spend all day online (not doing so well at that so far).

I do seem to recall that I had to be here a lot in the beginning of my last try at this, to keep myself honest and motivated and mindful. But I do need to try and remember to nap when the opportunity arises. For now, I've managed to meet my goal of killing time till 10 so I can eat - time to go get out that bar and another glass of water....

[DogMa]

Bummer on the oatmeal, but I'm glad you started. And remember, if you're starving, have another shake or an allowed snack. Hunger is definitely the enemy when you're starting out.

[Lauren]

Yay, Nickie, congratulations!!! I am so excited for you and thrilled to hear about the new bundle of joy!

Congrats as well on jumping back on the MF train. Yeah, it's quieter here these days, not sure what it's attributed to, a whole host of factors probably. But it tends to ebb and flow. So perhaps we're in the "ebb." Ha.

NO TWEAKING, Nickie! None. Nada. Zip. Follow the plan, you know it works! And yes, sleep whenever possible, drink your water, play with your daughters (that keeps the hands busy!), change dirty diapers REALLY slowly (that keeps the hands busy & dirty!!), and you'll make it through these first difficult days.

You're going to do great, happy to have you back,

Lauren

[DogMa]

change dirty diapers REALLY slowly (that keeps the hands busy & dirty!!),

Umm, yeah, and quashes any temptation to eat. Or it would in my case.

[Lauren]

Twas my point, little lady!

Lauren

[katesmom]

Hi Nickie !
Wecome Back ! I have re-started and after the first few days it's much easier...

Congrats on your daughter !




Looking forward to seeing your posts !

[katieb920]

OMG Nickie, Congrats. I am so excited for you. And proud of you for getting on program so quickly. I missed talking to you.
<img src="http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn239/barbiedoll1025/congratsboy.gif">

[nickieluv]

Thank you so much Lauren, Robin, Katesmom and KatieB for stopping by. It may be quiet here but I see there is still a great group of supporters hanging around! Thank goodness, I'll need you all.

Today was great until about 2. Which is funny, because yesterday I was craving junk until about 2. Total opposite of today. I totally talked myself into a binge. I could say it was sleep deprivation or stress or whatever, and I'm sure that was all part of it, but really I just felt hungry and didn't know how to control it (or rather, didn't want to try the things I knew to control it because it was easier to give in).

I had three supplements, 2.5 liters of water, and that's as far as my on-plan day went. We won't talk about the rest of the day too much, except to say the 'badness' was contained into a 2-hour little spurt and then I had my hands full and moved on. Didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day, though - just kind of worked out that way.

I had to run some errands after a meeting this evening and decided to buy diet sodas. We've not had soda in the house for a couple of weeks so I thought it would be a good 'treat' that might trick my taste buds into thinking it was having something sweet. I know caffeine should be limited but I think that's the lesser of two evils at this point, so I'm not going to ration my soda just yet. Some of them are caffeine-free, anyway. Perhaps if I'd had my weakness (cherry coke - zero, of course) in the house I might have made it through the day? It's worth a try anyway.

I'm actually not feeling too guilty about it, though. I'm not exactly back to normal yet so any progress is good in my mind. I had half a day of solid success. And this was still day 1 of my 100 days, none of this starting over business. Which reminds me, I forgot to take measurements today. Shoot. Well, if I do it right now before bed it will still count and hopefully I'm not too swollen from the day to throw off the results. Not that I should be too concerned about that, I weighed a pound more today but you don't see me moving my ticker starting weight up any. Gotta stay off the scale - I'll put it up on something when I go upstairs so it would take actually moving it before I could stand on it.

OK, I'm going to go move the scale, get the tape measure, do my measurements, and then wake up the baby and take her upstairs to get ready for bed. I am NOT staying up until midnight again waiting for her to wake up - 10 is my limit from here on out. And if she keeps falling asleep at 7:30, so help me, that's when I'm going to bed! I keep missing out on this fabulous stretch of sleep she has!

[nickieluv]

OK so I'm sure I fooled no one with the 'put the scale away' thing - except maybe myself. I did step on it this morning but it wasn't really official because I was dressed. It's gotten to be such a habit to step on every day - all through my pregnancy I monitored my weight daily, too - that I don't know if I can break it. But being such a habit it's also lost a lot of it's emotional pull and now I barely register what it says half the time. So my official weigh-in day is Wednesday and that's the only weight I'll report. Is there still roll call every week? I know it was traditionally Sunday but I remember some people who would weigh on a different day and report later in the week.

I did take my measurements and this is odd - most of the measurements on my left side are smaller than my right side. Forearm, wrist, thigh - but then my left ankle is bigger than my right. We're not talking major differences, but I just always assumed I was balanced - obviously I'm very unbalanced (insert joke here).

This morning it was easy to have my oatmeal (made it right this time!) but not even 30 minutes after eating I felt the pull for junk. I poured a diet root beer and have been sipping it, plus I got out a pack of soy crisps but I haven't opened them yet. After the root beer I'll switch over to water and that should fill me up hopefully until I can eat again. But I was forced to remember that I am in control of what I eat. Yesterday I can say I felt 'pulled' or 'driven' to eat badly, but really I made the choice. Today I am so far choosing to fight the urges and do what is right for my health.

I didn't often get into the MediZone last time because of my slips, but when I did I remember it feeling really easy to make good choices because I felt so good. I know that I could conceivably make goal by my birthday in May if I buckle down and do what is right. It's so hard to visualize that happening - well, actually, I CAN picture it, but I can't really believe I could do it. It would be totally awesome though. Biki used to always yell at me for 'future-tripping' and not keeping my eye on what I needed to do daily to get there, so I'm going to try really hard to just be in the moment and not think of myself as being deprived. Lauren wrote recently that when she was on plan, it was like other foods didn't even exist - maybe I can pretend that, too. After all, everything will still be there when I'm maintaining, and I can decide then what to do about it.

Maintenance - there's a scary place. Good thing I'm nowhere near it right now. One day at a time - one minute at a time - one choice at a time - I can do this. Try the old 'I can have it tomorrow if I still want it but not today' and that might work sometimes, too.

Today WILL be an on plan day. I won't say I'll try because that gives me permission to slip up. I have to commit to making the best choices and not even consider anything else as an option. After a few days or weeks it will get easier to do, and I'll be seeing results and I'll start to believe I can reach goal eventually after all, and I won't want to slow down my progress even one nibble.

Positive thinking. Oh, and I'll send current pictures to Unca later today (is that still the way we do it here?). Looking forward to posting more when I leave the 200s (again) - permanently this time!

[scarlet2507]

Hi Nicky,
You can totally do this! You sound so motivated, and with having 2 kids at home, I find you inspirational... I have just me to really worry about, and I find it super difficult sometimes. I couldn't even imagine throwing a couple kids into the mix (at least, not yet...lol). Kudos to you for sticking it out and staying on plan today!