The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Hi!

I can't believe it's been two weeks since last I posted or visited here. I've caught up on some reading this morning, and now I have a few minutes to post.

As far as weight - not so good. As far as eating - getting better. I am up over 200 again but it is not the fault of my new plan - it's just that I'm not sticking to this one, either. I am in the process of moving from 'there are so many foods I CAN'T have' to 'there are foods I SHOULD NOT have, but nothing is expressly forbidden.' As a result I have eaten lots of the foods on the 'should not' list, but my quantities are much more reasonable. I am not feeling the need to shovel in as much food as quickly as possible. So I'm hovering about 10 pounds above my lowest MF weight.

I'm also having a hard time with 'pregnancy eating.' For instance, right now I think I might be pregnant. I have nothing to base this on other than comparisons to last time, and it's a pretty thin case. But not knowing makes me leery of trying to lose more weight. So I'm not really in a diet mode, even with this new plan, but more of a healthy eating mode. Which is something I am still trying to learn how to do consistently. The end result is that I just try to make good choices most of the time, and when I have a 'wrong food' slip up, I assume I'm still rebounding and rebelling against all the time I spent telling myself foods were off limits. And there are some things I'm trying to separate myself from emotionally, because really they don't taste very good at all, but I'm attached to them.

I had thoughts over the weekend of wanting to come back to MF, really stick with it until March, and then try again with this pregnancy thing. I feel very confused about what I want all of a sudden - mostly the timing. If it turns out that I didn't conceive this month, I might dig out my MF stuff and get back on it for a few weeks, and try to put some more distance between me and 200. I don't know.

Because on the other hand, there's nothing to stop me from stepping up the exercise other than my own laziness, and I do remember that feeling good, and with a higher-calorie plan I don't have to worry that I'm doing too much - I can fuel the workouts better. So perhaps I will set that as my goal now - to get back into exercising during the week. I wonder how hard that 2-mile tape would feel now that I haven't done it in so long?

Well, that's me in a nutshell - still me, still making no sense, still thinking and analyzing everything too much rather than taking action. But I'm not in distress about any of this. I feel OK about it all - I'm in a place where I feel good and while I recognize (and am starting to feel) that I am still fat, I'm not in agony about it because I know I will reach my goal at the right time. I just have to remind myself that the right time is not necessarily for me to choose. It's just this limbo place I'm in right now - not losing, not maintaining, not pregnant - I can't really decide what my eating should look like because I don't really know where I am.

I suppose I'll be by in another few weeks. It's nice to read how everyone is doing and I will be happy someday to be back in the MF swing and not having to catch up on hundreds of posts at once!

[bikipatra]

It was really nice to hear from you Nickie!

[Mike]

Nickie,
I'm glad that you posted and glad you are hanging in there.
I am a little confused about the whole no diet when trying to get pregnant. In fact, from what I have read about that issue, dieting tends to increase ones probability of getting pregnant due to estrogen release from fat cells as the weight comes off.
Is the no MF while trying a physician request?
Anyhow, just happy you are doing okay.

[nickieluv]

It is, actually, the doctor's request. I told him about MF and he said no way, no how. He actually suggested the plan I'm currently using - so it's not that he's against dieting while trying, just extreme dieting. I think if I'm totally honest, I just don't want to be 'on a diet' anymore, not right now. I don't want to be trying to lose weight - just trying to maintain my loss on MF. That said, I have gained some back so I'd like to at least get back to my lowest MF weight - but right now, it's about staying steady more than losing, and not gaining any more than I already have.

Well - here two days in a row! I just can't resist....

[MerryMary]

Thanks for the update, Nickie!
Good to hear from you.

[Mike]

Sounds like a plan. We will continue to hope for the best... on both fronts.

[bikipatra]

It is, actually, the doctor's request. I told him about MF and he said no way, no how. He actually suggested the plan I'm currently using - so it's not that he's against dieting while trying, just extreme dieting. I think if I'm totally honest, I just don't want to be 'on a diet' anymore, not right now. ..

I understand the need for no extremes. That's the reason I had to stop MF. But I am so grateful for WW Core. I DO want structure, especiallly one that gives me as many choices as Core. I think you're being as honest with yourself and us as you have been to say you don't want to be on a diet. Fine. There is no rule that overweight people have to want to be on diets. You fought every inch of the way on MF. It was pretty impressive how much weight you lost without giving up your stubborn streak or your will. It must feel good not to be fighting anymore. You'll know when it's time. When you are done you will know. You didn't get back here by mistake and I am sure you learned something about yourself and life and maybe we'll see you on the Medifast journey once again someday! Don't be a stranger!!!!

[Lizabette]

I'm wishing you the best, NICK!

[nickieluv]

I think if I'm totally honest, I just don't want to be 'on a diet' anymore, not right now. ..

I think you're being as honest with yourself and us as you have been to say you don't want to be on a diet. Fine. There is no rule that overweight people have to want to be on diets. You fought every inch of the way on MF. It was pretty impressive how much weight you lost without giving up your stubborn streak or your will. It must feel good not to be fighting anymore. You'll know when it's time. When you are done you will know. You didn't get back here by mistake and I am sure you learned something about yourself and life and maybe we'll see you on the Medifast journey once again someday! Don't be a stranger!!!!

Thanks, Biki. Funny, but since writing that I didn't want to be on a diet - really getting it out there - I have been losing weight again. Like I just sort of took the pressure off myself, stopped thinking I should want something that I didn't want. There's no way to know what the future will bring (no matter how hard I always try to figure it out!) but I do know that I don't want to be this weight forever, and I will be a thin person once again!

I read in Jo's journal about her grocery trip and it humbled me yet again. I really thought Jo was some superwoman (OK, she is, but you know what I mean) and never had a moment of temptation. Even though she's said a million times that's not true. To hear that even on maintenance she fights the same battles I do, in similar circumstances - well, it always really affects me when I know I'm not alone. So I'm glad she shared that.

I've said to my husband that it would be much easier to stick to my plan if he were home at night. I just want to eat when he's not home, and I know it's because I miss him. And eating will not bring him home. But I still struggle with it almost daily. Part of it is about the 'forbiddenness' of food, so now that I've admitted I'm not really on a diet, nothing is off limits, and that rebellion factor is much reduced. But the part of my eating that was caused by loneliness and sadness is always going to have opportunities to resurface. I'll have to think of some strategies that I can use. Keeping myself busy is a good one - and in the coming months, that will be easier and easier to do. And recognizing true hunger, and ignoring emotional hunger - I'll always be learning about that.

Well, anyway - just popping in, randomly. Biki called me here with her weight loss today I think. Nice to see and read what the MF world is up to - I'm glad it's mostly good news. I may have news of my own soon - I'm suspicious, but I have no proof, of you-know-what. I think it's too soon to test. Just a feeling I have - but I've been wrong before!

[bikipatra]

Oh, I'm so excited about the maybe baby!

[nickieluv]

It's not a maybe anymore!!!

I took a test last Monday - negative - I stopped thinking about it too much and started waiting for my period to begin. Still nothing by Friday, so I took another test - positive!!! I didn't want to get too excited until I had it confirmed - I had a blood test Friday and found out officially about 5 hours ago that yes, I am pregnant!!!!!!

I hate having to log on when I don't have time to read everything - I want to catch up on the MF world but I need to get some rest. Hubby has strep throat and I've gotten a bad cold - stuffy nose, can't breathe, the cough is just beginning - and it's a horrible time to be coughing, when I'm afraid that any jarring movement is going to hurt the baby. Yep, I'm officially worried now - every little twinge, ache, or pain is going to make me a wreck.

So - I guess my intuition was right! It also tells me I'm having a boy - we'll have to see about that one in July! I'll put up a baby countdown ticker as soon as I get a due date from my doctor - my first appointment is December 4th. So you all are just about the first to know, too - we're not telling the family until Christmas! That's the plan, anyway - although my daughter may spoil it because I couldn't help telling her there was a baby in mommy's tummy, and she might let that slip sometime.

The first trimester, before hearing the heartbeat and all, is a scary time. If anyone happens to be thinking good thoughts sometime, sending a little prayer of hope my way is welcome!

Hey Biki, I hope you're great - I'll be back to check up on you tomorrow when I am hopefully less ucky-feeling!

[Lizabette]

NICK. Thanks for letting us know!

[Mike]

Congrats Nickie... keep us posted.

[lifelovinaries]

<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_2_79.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D36%252F36_2_79/image.gif">

<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/13/13_4_4.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D13%252F13_4_4/image.gif"> I dont know if anyone has ever had a cyber-baby shower!!! When the time comes, we can try!!!

Congratulations to you and your family, i hope you feel better and know that you will be in my prayers!

[MerryMary]

<img src="http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e299/RockinMommee/CongratsonPg.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"> You and baby are in my prayers!